The Gift of Change
by KNeu21
Summary: Sequel to 'TGoRecovery'- One thing is always certain. Everything changes. When things change, there are always two options. Fight them, or embrace them. Can Leandra learn how to embrace the changes in herself? Will she fight the changes, or can she learn to accept that who she once was is gone forever? Rated 'M! Now complete!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Here we are. At the beginning of what I hope to be a well written story.  
A few things first, however.  
As always, I must put here a:  
-DiSCLAIMER!- I don't own Twilight or anything affiliated with it. I only own the products of my own bits of insanity, and call them my characters. Even if they do sometimes do things I don't even expect.  
ImPORTANT NOTE!- This story is rated 'M' for 'Mature'. I don't know what that means where you're from, but where I'm from, it means that if you can't handle mild or sometimes moderate violence, language, adult situations or dark themes, such as abuse or depression, I would highly suggest you venture further at your own discretion. By the rule-book of , I must keep it from getting too descriptive, but it's not all puppies and rainbows, I assure you. Keep that in mind. If you're familiar with my work, you'll already know what I'm talking about. If you're not, I highly suggest reading my other works before continuing on with this one.  
Anyhoo..  
-ImPORTANT NOTE(#2)!- This chapter has mild language issues (cursing) and mild violence, so I'd beware of that. Other than that, it's pretty tame for a first chapter.  
So.. With that out of the way, here we go!**

**Chapter One**

"Leandra."

I ignored Alice's call from her room. Descending the stairs quickly, yanking on my shoes. I was late, and I nearly made it.

"Leandra?" I groaned, turning from my spot by the door at Alice's voice behind me, "Where are you going?"

"I was supposed to meet Josh and Zack at ten." I answered, "Where else?"

Thankfully, she didn't seem to have a problem with that. She sighed, though, standing in front of me and looking me over. I knew my choice of clothing depressed her. Baggier jeans, and a plain t-shirt.

'You're so pretty,' She would say, 'Why don't you want to show that off?'

'Because.' I would answer, 'I don't feel like being suffocated or squeezed to death by my clothes.' And dammit, I was four days away from my fourteenth birthday. I should be allowed to wear whatever I wanted. Emmett preferred it that way, anyway.

I was such a tomboy, however. The most feminine thing I'd shown a very slight interest in was make-up, and I actually was quite thankful that Alice gladly volunteered to show me the ropes when it came to age-appropriate looks. Just light stuff, mostly around my eyes. Anything more just felt like too much.

I yelped, jumping as Alice reached up and snapped my bra-strap.

"Hey." I grumbled. I hated when she did that.

"I'm just checking." She replied, "You know how often you forget it."

"I don't forget it." I said, "I just hate it."

"And if you're going to be hanging around boys, you don't need to be leaving it off." She countered, "You've got something there now." I rolled my eyes, and she sighed again, "Do you need a ride?"

"Nah." I said, "I got it."

Carlisle and Esme weren't home, gone for the week, so Jasper and Alice had been placed in charge of keeping me alive while they were gone. Mikah was off on a day long hunting trip, as he'd left early that morning. Thankfully, Emmett and Rosalie decided they needed another honeymoon, so they split also for probably two weeks, or longer.

I refused to think about what they were probably doing. Just to avoid puking all over the carpet like a cat with a hairball.

"Alright." Alice sighed, "Just be careful." Oh, here came the lecture, "Stay away from strangers, and for God's sake, don't climb into their car."

"Um.." I reached into my pocket, lifting out a folded knife, "I'm think I'm covered." Opened, the blade itself was about four inches. The shiny wood and chrome lock-back handle, another four inches.

"Oh, geez." She muttered, eyeing it, "Where'd you get that thing?"

"Early birthday present from Zack." I replied with a smile, "Cool, huh?"

"Only use that if you need it, okay?"

"Trust me." I said, "I know. I didn't even want to carry it with me, but he insisted, since I do so much walking alone. I'll probably never have to use it, but I have it with me if I need it."

She nodded hesitantly, eyeing it again.

"Anyway," I muttered, "Can I go now?" I slid the knife back into my pocket.

"Yeah." She replied, "Just be home before dark, and here." She laid something in my hand. Her cell phone. I frowned down at the cell phone, confused, "In case you need to contact us. Jazz has his phone on him."

"Oh, geez." I grumbled, repeating her earlier words, "I'm not going to China."

"That knife got me thinking." She defended herself, "Just take it." I shrugged, sliding it into my other pocket.

By the time I finally did get moving, I was about ten minutes more late than I'd been before. Thanks to Alice's overprotective nature, I met both boys at the bus stop in town. We'd missed the first bus, and had about twenty minutes until the next one showed up.

"Sorry." I panted, stopping beside them, "I know I said ten, but Alice interrogated me."

"It's okay." Josh chuckled, "And you slept in, didn't you?"

"Shut up." I laughed in return.

"You guys want to see a movie today?" Zack asked, "I'll pay."

I considered it, eventually wrinkling my nose, "I'd rather not."

"Yeah, me either." Josh agreed with me, "Besides, isn't that too tame for you?" I laughed at that one.

It took us an hour and a half to get to Port Angeles from where we were. I hated how long it took, but I figured I'd deal with it if it meant having some fun today, and with the boys, it didn't usually feel that long anyway.

It might have taken us forever to get there, but really not very long to find trouble. We'd paid a visit to one of our favorite little stores, and I convinced Zack to do something really stupid. I'd actually been joking, but he listened to me.

I led the way, hauling ass up the sidewalk. Josh behind me, and Zack behind him, running as fast as we could.

"I told you!" I called back to him, "Never lift from that place!"

"It was your idea!" Zack called to me.

"Sure, get technical!"

"Shut up both of you!" Josh pushed passed me, rounding quickly and diving into an alley. Grabbing my arm and tugging me with him by the back of my shirt, and Zack next.

"You're supposed to be an example." I shoved Zack as we started running again. This time down the alley.

"What?" He snorted, "How so?"

"You're fourteen." I answered, "I'm not."

"Not yet." He countered, "I'm only four months older than you."

"Sure, get technical."

That had us laughing as we ducked through a broken chain-link fence, rounding the back of a building where we finally stopped to catch our breath.

The building beside us was a storage facility, complete with two madly barking and pissed off German Shepherds, thankfully behind a rather thick, tall fence. We'd have to go back the way we'd come to get out of this area, but that'd come later.

"Shut up." I growled, kicking the fence. Which only pissed them off more, "If I ever wanted to steal anything from that dump, I'd just kill you first."

"Leandra." Josh laughed a little, "Just ignore them."

"Did you get anything?" I asked, looking to Zack.

"Nope." He laughed, "I dropped whatever it was the second he pulled out that bat."

"Can't blame you." I muttered, "But what'd I always tell you? Those privately owned places, they're allowed to chase you and beat the shit out of you if they catch you. The chain stores and gas stations, they're not. If they chase you, they'd get fired."

"Unless the place has security." He rolled his eyes, "Yes, I know."

"It's security's job to chase you down and beat the shit out of you." I reiterated anyway, "And they don't mess around. So if you're going to pull something like that, you gotta be good at it."

"Like you?" He smiled.

"Shut up." I said, laughing a little. We both knew he was better at stealing than I was. All three times I'd tried, I got caught and wound up having to run.

"So.." Zack sighed, still slightly out of breath, "When's Sarah getting here?"

I groaned, looking to Josh, "Sarah's coming?"

Sarah was Josh's blonde, boring girlfriend of almost a year. She was about as fun as a mop, and had about the same personality. She frequently joined us in our trips to Port Angeles, and usually destroyed any good mood I might be in. Of course, I'd never admit that.

"Shit." Josh grumbled, looking at his phone. Probably for the time.

I laughed this time, "You forgot about your own girlfriend? Well, aren't you a keeper?"

"Oh, shut it." He turned, ducking back through the fence. Zack and I followed him, running once more, back toward the street.

I knew where he was leading us, but wasn't in any hurry to get there. Some shopping mall a few blocks away. Where we always met up with her. We stood at the corner of one street, waiting for the traffic to stop so we could cross. Thankfully, the store clerk that had been chasing us was nowhere to be found.

"When are you going to dump that stupid bitch?" I asked, and he sighed, giving me a look.

"Leave Sarah out of it." He murmured, "She's really nice once you get to know her."

"What's there to get to know?" I asked, "Come on. You deserve better than her. The only thing fun about her, is how mad she gets when we bug her." I followed as Josh started to cross, "Next time, pick somebody better. Not some goody-goody little twat that wouldn't know a good time if it slapped her in the fucking face."

"Oh, didn't you hear?" Zack piped up, "I'm pretty sure she finally put out."

"Yuck." I gasped, "You're kidding?" As much as I hated hearing that, it certainly explained why Josh was suddenly so much more defensive of her.

"Nope." Zack replied, "Last Saturday, he came home all smiles. Just pleased with himself."

"Oh, vomit."

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you were jealous." Zack chuckled, and I rolled my eyes. Shoving him into a trash can as we walked passed it. A very satisfying metallic bang made me smile.

"Will you two cut it out?" Josh grumbled as Zack caught back up to me and shoved me into a light post. I turned, shoving Zack again with a laugh.

"Oh?" Zack asked, "Is Joshy a little defensive?" I faked a gag, and Zack laughed with me. 'Joshy' was Sarah's nickname for him.

"Wonder how many other guys she's fucking?" I asked, "It's always the quiet and boring ones you have to worry about."

Josh finally turned, taking my upper arms in his hands and pressing me back against another light post. I just grinned at him, knowing exactly why this was irritating him so much.

It was no secret that he wanted to be with me. I knew it, Zack knew it, but I wouldn't have it. The furthest I'd gone with him was giving him a kiss on the cheek over a year ago, but I made fun of his girlfriend unmercifully and did my best to drop subtle hints that I was mildly interested. He caught every single one.

Even if I knew I'd never be interested in things an almost-sixteen year old boy would be interested in, it was fun to see how badly I could bother him. His expression bordered extreme irritation, but slight amusement. An intense look in his eyes that made me nervous.

"Now, Joshy." I muttered, "You shouldn't look at me like that. I might faint."

Maybe he'd go for it today? I had one good slap ready for him if he did try to kiss me. He finally shook his head, and laughed a little. Releasing me. The three other slaps I'd had to give him taught him not to do that.

"You're such a bitch." He laughed, and I knew he didn't mean that in an angry way.

"Thank you." I bowed a little, as Zack and I continued to follow him around the corner.

"Joshy." We finally made it to the dreaded mall, and Sarah waited out front with a huge, clingy smile for Josh. She glanced behind him as she ran up to him, spotting Zack and I. She pouted a little, "You brought them?"

"I always bring them." Josh replied as she placed her arms around his waist. The fact that Sarah was also unmercifully jealous of me had a whole lot to do with why I always made fun of her. Oh, she hated me, and the feeling was mutual. Especially now that I knew that fun little fact about the stupid fucking slut.

I gave a very condescending toothy grin, and waved to her.

"It's so nice of you to keep doing a public service by watching those two little delinquents, but I was hoping we'd be able to spend some time together." Sarah murmured, and I rolled my eyes again, "You know? By ourselves?"

"Zack." I gasped enthusiastically, "Let's go rob a bank!" Sarah caught on immediately that I was making fun of her, which made me very happy.

"Yeah." Zack gasped in return, "And on our way out, let's steal a car!"

"Only if I get to drive, and run over some pedestrians." I replied, which got both of us laughing.

The fact that Sarah was two years older than me didn't deter me a bit from pissing her off. I loved to piss her off. Mostly, I just wanted to stab her in the face with a bendy straw, but I'd have to settle with being the dreaded best friend of her boyfriend.

"Oh, ha-ha." She sneered at us, "You two really need to grow up."

"I'm sorry." I murmured sarcastically, "I wasn't aware that having a sense of humor was a sign of immaturity."

She huffed, and turned. Tugging Josh into the mall by his hand. With a 'knock it off' glance at us, Josh followed her. Zack and I followed, shaking our heads.

Our trips to the mall always began with lunch at the food court on the ground level. Today was Zack's turn to pay for me, and next time, I'd pay for him. It always worked that way with us, and I felt sorry for Josh. He always had to pay for his cow of a girlfriend. It wasn't even just a courtesy thing. She just expected it of him. Like just being in her obnoxious presence was enough to make him want to fall at her feet.

Zack and I spent the entire hour we sat there for lunch flinging spit-balls into her purse from a table away. She never noticed. Too wrapped up in giggling gratingly at Josh, and twirling her hair in her fingers. I ached to throw a chair at her instead of shredded bits of a paper straw wrapper.

It turned from aiming for her purse, to aiming for her head. Zack managed to land one right on the top of her head without her noticing, which had both of us cracking up too hard to breathe. Josh, however, did notice. He shot us another irritated look as he plucked it from her head while she looked down, and I feigned innocence while Zack cried with laughter.

"I wonder how long it would have stayed there." I murmured to Zack.

"Too bad it isn't gum." He replied, which cracked us both up again.

Needless to say, even after what I remembered of the vision, Zack was nowhere near that person I'd seen. He and I got along sometimes better than Josh and I did. Especially when it came to doing mean stuff to Sarah.

I knew it had everything to do with Josh still being around, and with four days left before I passed my thirteenth year alive with no reasons to hate him, I was fine around Zack.

Of course, for a little while after remembering that specific detail, I was wary of him. Very wary, but he'd never wronged me, and I eventually moved on. Deciding to live in the moment now instead of waiting for him to screw up.

Living in the moment was a bit harder to do with Josh. I remembered how much he meant to me vividly, more vividly it seemed, each passing moment. Now fifteen, six days from sixteen, Josh was just as I remembered him as a human. Older even, but he looked just the same. I tried to ignore that part, but not all of it could be ignored. Not with how vivid those memories were becoming the closer I got to sixteen, and not with how obviously interested in me he was.

It was difficult not to let old emotions influence my actions now.

I hated to admit to myself that I felt possessive of him in a way. To see him with that bimbo just irritated me to no end. There was no denying that. I had a jealous streak in me a mile long, and nothing I did would ease it. All I could do was just hate her from afar, and try to change Josh's mind. I didn't even know what I wanted.

That, however, wasn't to say that I lived a care-free life now.

I hadn't forgotten about Jack in the almost three years since he'd last made an attempt. Absolutely no sign in almost three years, and it was getting to me. I knew he was out there, and I knew he hadn't forgotten about me, and the anticipation was killing me.

Cole and Dess eventually moved their coven, now fully merged without losing a single member more, back south about a year before. They still checked up on us now and then, but never stayed more than a single night.

I hated nights. I hated my dreams. About the same time Dess and Cole left, for the passed year or so, they'd been filled with nothing but the what if's and could be's. They were just dreams, as I'd learned the difference between these and visions. Mainly because the dreams, I could remember. Visions, I was still blocked from. Which was new. By this time last time, I'd had at least one.

Dreams involving Jack. What else?

Although it was nights like that that I wished Mikah was still allowed to sit with me during the night.

Both Emmett and Jasper had put a stop to that a few months back. Apparently, I was getting too old and getting too pretty for them to allow that anymore. Despite the way I told them they needed to trust me, they wouldn't budge an inch.

I even had Edward agree with me. I had absolutely zero intentions of ever doing anything like what they were worried about. Not ever. I shied away from the thought to the point of disgust. That had only gotten stronger as time went on. Which was most of the reason I now hated Sarah with a fiery passion. I didn't like the fact that she made me feel that way about Josh.

The problem wasn't all on Jack, and I knew that. It was like each second I grew older, the further forward I went in my life, I could feel the pressure squeezing me even more. Between the threat of Jack, and the threat of Aro returning some day, plus each new detail of the vision my mind punished me with, I felt like I couldn't handle it.

There were so many things about Jack to consider now, it was instinctive to shy away from it.

Being around the boys, though, as hard as that was to deal with, I loved it. Around them, I could breathe. Like I didn't have to sit there and be worried all the time. It was relief for me.

"So, tell me honestly." Zack said as we sat there, "Are you really jealous of Sarah?"

I scoffed a little, "No. I just know Josh could do better."

"It sure seems like you are." He laughed a little.

"Nah." I shook my head, "Besides. Josh is too old for me."

"Two years?" He asked.

"I'm not even fourteen yet." I reminded him, "I don't need a boyfriend anyway."

"Good point." He allowed with a nod. I flicked a non-spit-soaked piece of paper at him. He reached down, lifting it off the floor where it landed and flicked it back at me.

"Besides." I murmured, "I'm pretty sure you and I both like Josh better alive."

"Right." He agreed again, laughing, "Emmett."

"And Jasper, and Alice, and Rosalie, and Mikah.." Oh, especially Mikah.

Mikah and I were even closer best friends than I was with the boys, which was amazing, considering I was never home anymore. All I had to do was see him to remind myself exactly why he continued to hold that title. I doubted anything could ever change that now.

"But if that didn't matter.." He prompted.

"Those five reasons are kind of important." I laughed a little, "Emmett would gladly run him over for messing with his baby sister."

"You drive him crazy." He told me, "You know that, right?"

"I know." I smiled, "I wonder what Sarah would say if she knew she was Joshy's second choice?"

"She'd probably be so pissed." Zack laughed, "But see, it's stuff like that that makes me think you're jealous."

"Not jealous." I said, sipping my soda, "I just know I'm better than her."

"Then that." He pointed to me, "You keep saying Josh could do better, then you say that you're better. You keep changing your words around."

"Damn." I laughed, "You don't miss anything, do you?"

He grinned, "It comes with being a middle child." He paused, "So even if that stuff didn't matter. Would you consider him?"

"Why does it matter so much?" I asked, shaking my head with another laugh.

"Because." He said, "I just want to see him happy. I know you do too, and that bitch Sarah doesn't make him happy."

"He's fifteen." I reminded him, "He doesn't know what he needs to make him happy."

"I could think of a few things." He grinned suggestively.

"Uh, ew." I tossed a wrapper at him as he laughed, catching it.

"Seriously, though." He said, "She's all wrong for him."

"Oh, and I'm perfect?" I smirked, "Right."

"For him, you are." I blinked at his honesty.

I looked down, "It doesn't even matter. I mean, he's my friend. It'd be too weird."

"That's what makes it even better." He reasoned, "You have so much in common."

I sighed, shaking my head again, "It's just not like that."

"Okay." He muttered, his tone and smile skeptical, "Fair enough." He paused, "Denial."

"Stop it." I laughed a little.

"Please." He said, "Are you blind?"

"No." I replied, "I'm realistic. I just know I wouldn't be any good for him."

"You're kidding, right?"

"No, I'm serious." I murmured, "I'm not good for anyone, and I probably never will be."

"Oh, please." Zack scoffed, "You're smart, you're funny, you're _fun_." I smiled a little and I looked down, "You're fucking _hot_, but you're not a slut. Far as I know, you don't bat for the same team."

"What?" I asked, confused.

"You're not into chicks." He clarified with a laugh.

"Oh." I muttered, "Uhm.. No."

"There's my point." He said, "Do you know how hard all of that is to find in a girl?"

"Do _you_?" I replied, and he smirked.

"See?"

"No 'sees' on it." I said, standing, "All dry land."

"Shut up." He laughed, standing as well, "Wanna go look around?"

I glanced to Sarah and Josh, rolling my eyes and sighing. They weren't going anywhere anytime soon.

"Yeah." I said, "Let's go."

We tossed our trash into the can before walking away from the food court. I doubted Josh even noticed us leave.

"Do I really come off as someone that's into chicks?" I asked, "Because you're not the first one to ask me that."

He laughed, "I don't know. I just.. I've never seen you freak out over guys, you know? You're not like other girls."

"I don't freak out over anybody." I told him, "I'm not on any team, I guess. I just think it's stupid to lose your fucking mind over some other person. If I ever start acting like Sarah, please. Stab me in the face."

"You really don't like her."

"Of course not." I said, "I'd rather kill it before it breeds. And it's _not_ because I'm jealous or anything. I just can't stand stuck-up stupid little fucking cunts like her, thinking the entire goddamn fucking planet revolves around the spot she stands."

"Wow." He stifled a laugh.

"What?" I asked.

"Such colorful language."

"I can't help it." I muttered, "Shut up."

We made our way up to the second level, investigating the stores worth investigating there. Not buying anything, only because we didn't find anything worth buying. We skirted right by the clothing stores, much to Zack's amusement.

"You're about the ungirliest girl I've ever known." He laughed, and I shook my head, "Just because you choose to dress like a boy."

"I wear girl stuff." I told him defensively, "I just don't do the girly-girl shit."

"Why not?"

"Why should I?" I asked with a laugh, "I don't have anything to prove. Like I need flowery dresses and frilly fru-fru shit to impress people I don't even know, or prove that I was born with a pussy."

"But isn't like.. Having five million pairs of shoes something all girls do?"

"No." I replied, "And for your information, I only buy new shoes when my old ones start talking."

"You mean if Alice lets them get that bad." He smirked.

"I still keep them." I laughed, following him into an electronics store, "I just have to be creative at hiding them. I swear one time, I slept with a pair of shoes under my pillow for like a week."

"I had to do the same thing with my favorite shirt." He replied, "Mom hunted that thing mercilessly. Just waiting to pounce on it and toss it."

I had to laugh at that image.

We poked around the store for a bit, looking stuff over. It was pretty busy in there that day, a pretty popular store. Selling everything from cell phones, to TVs. CDs, MP3 players, stereos. Video game consoles and games, which had taken Zack's immediate attention.

He waved me over, and I headed over.

"See this thing?" He asked quietly, turning over the game case. I spotted what he was talking about immediately. A plastic security tab, so I nodded, "That's to keep people from jacking it. It sets off an alarm if someone tries to take it out of the store, unless they remove it when it's bought."

"Okay?" I asked, "Your point?"

"I'll show you how it's done." He grinned, "Got that knife on you?"

"Are you crazy?" I asked, "Here?" I gave a glance around, but saw no one paying us any attention.

"Just gimmie it." He muttered and I sighed, reaching casually into my pocket before slipping it into his hand. The stand in front of us hid what we were doing from anyone that might look from the front, and our backs hid their gazes from the back.

He carefully slid the sharp blade between the case and the security tag, slicing easily through the plastic. He slipped the closed knife back to me, which immediately went back into my pocket. At the same time, he slid the game case into the front of the wasteband of his jeans, dropping his shirt over it. He hid the useless security tag back behind the row of games, just so nobody would see it.

"Now." He whispered, "We look around a bit more, just so nobody gets suspicious, and we leave after that. Easy."

"We could have just bought the damn thing."

"Forty bucks?" He asked incredulously, "No way."

We turned carefully, and looked around. Lifting things, and setting them back down. I eyed the front of the store carefully, watching the security guard standing there seeming bored, plucking lint from his shirt.

I know the exact moment I messed up. It happened every time.

We made it through the store, and we made it out of the store, but my stupid ass had to look back, knowing the security guard was watching us.

Now, I could have done two things. The right thing to do would be to smile politely, and wave a little. The stupid thing to do, which was exactly what I did, was look forward quickly, and whisper to Zack that he was watching us.

_That_ wasn't suspicious. Not at all.

"Well, now he knows." Zack muttered, and I took a breath, thinking quickly.

"Hey." I heard behind me. Zack went to look, but I took his hand, and he just looked to me instead.

"Okay." I murmured, "When I say, we split up, and we run."

_That_ wasn't going to make a bad situation even worse. Not at all.

"Gotcha." He grinned. I glanced behind us to see the guard following quickly.

"Hey, you two." The guard called again, "Stop."

"Now." I told Zack, and we shared a very brief smile before we took off. Zack rounded, and ran off to the left, and I headed to the right. The guard chose to follow me. Probably since I was the one that looked suspicious. I heard his keys jingling as he started a run.

"Let's go, thunder-butt!"

Laughing as I heard him following, I darted into a store. We circled a few racks, before I barreled out of the store, shoving three people out of my way as I did so, also causing the guard to trip over them and slide into the railing keeping people from falling off the second floor, his face squeaking on the floor as he face planted.

I actually stopped, watching as he got back up. My heart pounded in an exciting way, and I knew this wasn't going to end well, but I was in it for the fun now. He'd probably be confused when he caught me and he found out I didn't actually have anything, but that was the fun of it.

His eyes landed on me once more, and he ran at me. I immediately took off again, straight down the walkway outside the stores. Passing bewildered people on my way by.

Now probably calling for backup as he chased me, I pushed faster. Literally sliding down the escalator and knocking eight more people over as I did so. Jumping from one step down about four, I had to made sure I held on so I didn't fall. I rounded the corner at the bottom, heading further into the mall and watching as two more security guards started in on the chase.

I spotted Josh standing there as I ran passed him, a shocked look on his face.

"I would find Zack!" I laughed loudly as I passed him.

"What did you do?" He demanded, but I was too far away to answer.

I rounded another corner, knocking into another group of people as I barreled passed the fountain in the center of the mall, and I knew I'd have to turn around soon. Three more security guards joined in the chase, and I was having so much fun.

Shoving multiple more people out of my way, I spun around a corner, nearly being caught by another guard and running into a large potted plant at the same time. I laughed when two of the guards hit the plant and I kept going. Two followed me, missing the plant.

Sliding into another store, I caught my breath a bit as they chased me around the multiple racks of clothes. I led them to the back, and doubled back, shoving through the center of three of the racks and back out the door, continuing on the chase.

I ran back the other way, spotting Josh again. He still looked stunned, but I didn't care. I was having the time of my life, and wasn't even close to stopping. Shoving up the escalator again, knocking several more people over as I did so, I took off once more when I got to the top.

By now, I had several spectators, cheering me on.

Zack passed me, running the opposite way. He was causing just as much trouble as I was, and was having just as much fun doing so as I was, given the grin on his face. Three of his own guards following him.

I had to end this soon, as my burning lungs needed a rest. I pushed faster, pulling away from the remaining guards and barreling around a corner, ducking down behind another large potted plant. They darted into a nearby store, and I ran back the other way.

Going back down the escalators, I jogged back up to Josh, grinning.

"You're right." I panted, "This is fun."

"Are you crazy?" He asked, "Have you lost your mind?"

"No." I said, still catching my breath, "Where's Zack?" My question was answered as I heard a shout up on the third level, and Zack came skidding down the escalator as well. Much the same way I had. I made my way closer to him.

"We should probably get out of here." He panted. A second later, he was tackled roughly to the floor from the side. I jumped, reacting quickly. I took the step closer that was needed, brought my foot up, and kicked the guard as hard as I could in his face.

He fell back, releasing a half-handcuffed Zack.

"Come on!" I laughed, helping him up and looking around.

"Hey!" I looked back at the three guards stepping off the escalator.

"Here we go again." I laughed, taking off. This time, with Zack beside me.

"Uh- w- Leandra! Zack!" Josh called after me, "Dammit! You might not be eighteen yet, but they can arrest you!" I laughed loudly, knowing he heard me.

Flying around a corner, we caught sight of the food court. Sliding through the middle of it, the guards actually running into people, sending food flying everywhere. Before I knew it, the other customers were shoving the guards back, angry.

It escalated right before my eyes, everyone nearby running over to join in their anger. More guards, and more people throwing punches at each other, tables and chairs getting knocked over. Shouts and yells of anger and pain as the fighting continued, it was almost scary.

Before I could back all the way out of there, I caught a hand to the face. I yelped in pain, my eyes watering in pain as blood poured from my nose. I grabbed a few napkins off a still-standing table, covering my nose with it and backing out of the immediate area. Zack directly beside me.

"You alright?" He asked and I nodded.

"Damn, the carnage." I laughed, shaking my head in disbelief.

Paying so much attention to the fighting going on in the center of the food court, I hadn't noticed the guard come up behind me. Suddenly I was grabbed, thrown over the short wall on the outside of the court, and both arms thrown behind my back. The bloody napkin was dropped, but my nose continued to bleed slowly.

I fought hard, and the guard on me suddenly got a chair to the face. Zack stood there with a grin, helped me up, and we both ran back the other way. Grabbing Josh on our way by.

We nearly made it. I could see the exit, but unfortunately, we were all tackled before we could reach it.

The sharp clicking of the handcuffs as they were tightened in place on my wrists made me laugh as I was lifted by my arm. All three of us pinned, handcuffed, and hauled to our feet.

From Zack's back pocket, his guard pulled out the cause of all of this disorder. The video game.

An hour later, I wasn't sure how funny this was anymore.

They'd _actually_ called the police on us, and all three of us were taken to the station to sit and wait in a holding cell in the back. Depending on what they decided, it could be a _long_ wait. We sat in silence for several minutes, all three of us sitting on the bench provided. Me in the middle of the boys.

Josh was pissed off because he got taken in as well when he hadn't done anything. Guilty by association. Wrong place, wrong time. They'd probably let him go.

"They took my knife." I grumbled, not at all happy about that.

"Man, your dad is going to be so pissed." Zack murmured, and I looked to him.

"He's not the one I told them to call. Carlisle isn't home."

"Emmett?" Josh asked, and I shook my head, "Who?"

"Jasper." They both winced, "Yeah. He's not going to be happy. What about your dad? He's going to skin you, Zack."

"Probably." He laughed.

"I didn't even do anything." Josh muttered after another moment of silence, "I don't even know why I'm here."

"You're an accomplice."

"No I'm not." He said, "I just wanted to walk around. It was your idea to go try to shoplift."

"Will you three shut the fuck up?" The drunk man in the cell beside ours growled. I immediately pursed my lips, and whimpered.

"Yeah, yeah. Go have another drink, hobo." Zack snapped at him. He didn't quite look like a hobo. Short hair, which would have been neat if he didn't look roughed up. Or smell like a bar. Even from the other side of our own cell, I could smell the alcohol on him. I wrinkled my nose, looking away.

"Come say that to my face, you little bastard." He told Zack.

Even in another cell, he scared the hell out of me.

"I would, but I don't think you'd be able to hear me with your head stuck so far up your ass."

"Zack." I murmured, "Stop." I watched as the man in the next cell stood up.

"Why?" He asked, "Not like Sir Whiskey over there can do anything about it."

"You best listen to that bitch."

"Hey." I muttered, frowning as both Josh and Zack stood up.

"All three of you," The guard watching the cells muttered from his magazine, "Shut the fuck up, and sit down. Nick, you _know_ you can't afford any more trouble. Leave the kids alone."

The man grumbled what sounded like an agreement to himself, shooting us a very dirty look before sitting back down on his bench.

I brought my knees up in an insecure motion I hadn't used in quite awhile.

It felt like we waited there for hours, when someone came back. Josh was on his feet as soon as the door opened, and Zack followed suit.

"Alright, you three." The cop sighed, "Come on."

I hesitantly stood up, following the boys from the cell.

Finally, I thought. Time to go home. I'd face anything Jasper had to say if it meant I could go home.

The cop led the three of us out of the room, and toward the front. I went to keep following Josh and Zack as they spotted Mike and Heather, but the cop's hand on my shoulder stopped me. Confused, I looked up at him.

"You'll be contacted when a court date has been made." He told Heather, "He'll need to be there."

"Yes, sir." Heather replied quietly, as her eyes landed on me, "And what about Leandra?"

"It looks like she'll be staying the night." He answered.

"What?" I gasped at the same time Heather did.

"I'll pay her fines." Heather offered, but the cop shook his head.

"She can only be released to a family member, ma'am. I'm sorry."

Heather gave me a saddened look.

I was _so_ mad as the cop led me away. How could Jasper do that?

Apparently, further in the back of the building, were more permanent holding cells. Probably for people who needed to stay for longer than a few hours, but didn't require prison. I counted eight in the row he led me down, leading me to the cell at the very end of the row.

Inside the dark cell was a cot, a sink, and a toilet. Just like in all the movies. I shuddered at the thought of having to use that thing, and decided then and there that I'd hold it for as long as I could.

"In you go, sweetheart." It was obvious the cop hated having to do that to me, but I went willingly.

Well, I sighed as the barred door was slammed behind me. At least it's quiet. I hesitantly sat down on the thin cot, scooting back to lean back against the wall. I wasn't sure I wanted to lay down. God knew who had been sitting on that thing before me.

It was going to be a long night.

I snoozed for the most part. Just hoping for time to speed up. After awhile, my anger faded a bit, and I didn't know whether to hope Jasper would change his mind, or be pissed at him. I thought about the first things I'd do when I got out of there. I thought about how to greet him.

Should I be stubborn, and insist I stay longer? Cry and hit him? Or cry and hug him? Either way, there would be crying. There was crying now. I was cold, and suddenly tired in the quiet of the room. I could hear almost nothing, except the tick of the clock on the wall. I was incredibly grateful that thing was there.

I thought about what I did to land myself here.

The clock on the wall told me I'd been in that cell for four hours when dinner was brought in for me. Since I was the only one here, the guard outside the door had sprung for a sandwich and a bottle of water. Fancy.

I wasn't even that hungry. Nerves stealing any appetite I could have had, but I ate anyway. Probably not the best idea in the world, because my stomach tumbled violently about thirty minutes after eating.

The clock on the wall told me I'd been in that cell for six hours when someone else was brought in.

Aw, hell.

It was Nick. The drunk older man that had been in the other holding cell, and just my luck, they put him in the cell next to mine. Only a wall of bars between him and me.

This was cruel. I'd definitely be hitting Jasper the moment I saw him again. I watched insecurely as the guard slammed his door shut behind him, and walked away, just as Nick turned and looked around. Nearly falling over in the process, and finding me at the same time.

"Well, look who it is." Nick chuckled, "What happened, sugar? Your boyfriends ditched you?" He still had that drunken slur to his words that really made me want to puke.

I ignored him, turning my back to him, facing the wall.

Maybe it was the sandwich, or maybe it was nerves. I wasn't sure, but my stomach was tumbling pretty harshly, and about another thirty minutes of ignoring him later, I threw up before he did. Shockingly.

That had to have been the most humiliating moment I'd had in a very long time. Kneeling in front of the surprisingly clean toilet, I struggled to get myself together, knowing the entire time, Nick was watching me. The embarrassment was horrible, and it bothered me deeply to be that close to his cell. I could smell the alcohol from him and did my best to just block that out.

"You're pretty on your knees." He commented, and I looked up at him. At first, I couldn't believe he'd said that.

"Fuck off." I snapped at him, finally acknowledging his existence.

"Aw, come on." He grinned, "Don't be like that."

"I'll be whatever way I damn well please." I told him, "And unless you want even more trouble on you, I suggest you leave me the fuck alone."

"Oh?" He seemed skeptical.

"I'm thirteen, dumbass."

"Age has nothing to do with you being pretty." He countered, "I was just making an observation." Every slurred word was making me more sick. I really needed him to shut up.

Stop talking to him, I told myself. Talking to him just made him want to respond. I couldn't keep talking anyway as more of the sandwich took that opportunity to come back up. I rinsed my mouth out in the sink, more than was necessary, and sat back down.

Thankfully, not long after I went back to ignoring him, he passed out. Aside from his nearly violent snoring, I could almost pretend he wasn't there. I could almost sleep, if it weren't for knowing Nick was just over there, so I forced myself to stay awake. Resting my head partially against the cold brick wall beside me.

I lost hope around midnight that I'd be saved before morning, and even began to convince myself that I'd never be saved. Jasper was going to leave me here until I died. I was sure of it.

I sat upright the entire night, curled into a tiny ball in the top corner of the cot. I'd thrown up three more times before morning. Between each throwing up, I felt like complete shit. Pain stabbing through my entire midsection, and I was convinced by then that that cop had poisoned me.

Nick got taken out of his cell before I even did. Seven-thirty was when he was taken out, grumbling an apology my way for "whatever he might have said the night before". I didn't give a shit at that point. I didn't care anymore. I was stuck in my own misery.

I didn't even bother looking up when the door opened again. I was too tired to. I wasn't even sure I'd heard the door open.

"There she is." I recognized the cop's voice outside the cell, and slowly peeked up.

However, to my surprise, it wasn't Jasper standing there. It was Carlisle. He'd come back early. I started to cry the second I saw him, as the cop unlocked the door and slid it open.

I climbed off the cot, and went straight to Carlisle. He hugged me, sighing quietly.

"Please take her home." The cop's request was one on my behalf, "A honey like her doesn't belong in a place like this. I'd say she definitely learned her lesson. All the charges have been dropped, so all you need to do is sign the paperwork up front, and she's free to go."

"Thank you." Carlisle told him, "It's very much appreciated."

Esme was waiting out front, but I couldn't go to her like I wanted to. I had to make a beeline straight for the bathroom out front to throw up yet again. I didn't have anything left on my stomach to throw up at that point, but the dry heaves were worse than actually throwing up, so I drank some tap water, just so I'd have something to give. I had to dart back into the stall before it all came back up all over the floor. I made it just in time.

That seemed to help a little, but it only got harder as Esme entered the bathroom with me. I cried where I kneeled, reaching back and unlocking the stall door at her request. She kneeled beside me in the small space, and hugged me.

"How could he do that?" I cried, my voice echoing around me.

"He heard what you'd done, and he paid the fines, but he requested you be held for the night." She murmured, "To teach you a lesson about what happens when you continue doing those things. He called us early this morning, just to fill us in, and we came as soon as we could. Honey, why would you do that?"

I couldn't answer her. Having to pull away from her to throw up yet again.

"How long have you been sick?" She asked, rubbing my back.

"All night." I whimpered when I could. My stomach felt like it was in knots, twisted painfully.

I made it the long trip home without Carlisle having to stop, but I still felt like complete shit the entire way. Normally, fresh air helped me when I was sick, but it bothered me this time.

The second I stepped inside, I found Jasper standing there beside the couch as if waiting for something. I wouldn't say a word until I had a chance to calm down, I decided. Doing so before calming down would only be a disaster.

I went to stride toward the stairs, but he caught my hand.

"Don't." I snapped harshly, yanking my hand from his grip, glaring up at him, "I don't even want to look at you right now." I felt let down, betrayed by him.

"You'll notice a few changes to your room." He told me evenly, "And by the way, I don't know if you've been told this yet or not, but you're severely grounded. Until further notice."

"You can't ground me." I countered.

"But I can." Carlisle spoke up, and I looked to him, "We'll discuss this further when you've had a chance to rest, but Jasper is right. Until further notice, you're grounded."

"Fine." I grumbled. I just wanted to get upstairs to my room. I needed a very long and very hot shower, and a whole lot of sleep. _Oh_, I wanted sleep.

I immediately noticed the changes to my room.

Everything worth doing in my room had been taken out. All books, the TV. No pens, no pencils, no paper, no pictures to look at had stayed. I was basically left with my furniture, and a lamp.

I would ask about that later, although I had a pretty good idea what the reasoning behind that was. Jasper wasn't kidding. Severely grounded.

At least they left the stupid _lamp_, I snapped in my thoughts as I slapped the lampshade. I dove to catch it as it wobbled and nearly hit the floor. Whatever. I didn't care right then, but I had no doubts I'd care pretty soon.

Unfortunately, the hot shower had made my stomach tumble worse, so I couldn't stay in there very long. It wasn't nearly as relaxing as I thought it'd be.

I discovered after my shower that most of my clothes had been taken out as well. Leaving me with three outfits worth of clothes, and two sets of pajamas. With a loud growl, I slammed the drawer shut. I didn't even _like_ those pajamas. They could have left another set. The ones they did leave were itchy and uncomfortable, and I had no doubts they knew this.

Fine, I thought defiantly. I drop-kicked the towel into the corner of the room, when I _should_ have hung it up. I'd sleep naked.

That probably wouldn't teach anybody a damn thing, but I didn't care. I was already uncomfortable enough. I wasn't about to wear those stupid pajamas just because they left me with no other options.

Before the towel even landed, I fell into bed. Tiredly kicking my naked self under the blanket.

I tossed, turned, cuddled and sprawled out, but there was no damn way I was falling asleep like this. So I sighed, and resigned, climbed out of bed and pulled on the less itchy and uncomfortable set of pajamas.

"Yeah, fuck you too." I grumbled, falling back into bed.

I made sure the wastebasket was empty and close by and with that comfort on my mind, I finally managed to fall asleep. Knowing I was safe at home, and not alone in some dark jail cell. It even surprised me how much I'd missed my own bed.

I wasn't sure how long I'd slept, but at one point, I rolled over and partially opened my eyes. Jumping, startled roughly awake at seeing someone standing there beside the bed.

It was Jasper.

"Fuck!" I snapped, "Don't do that!"

"You're running a fever." He pointed out. I was suddenly very grateful I decided to put on clothes.

"It's probably these goddamn pajamas." I growled, "Or I caught some fucking disease in that cell, where _you_ left me to rot."

"I had my reasons." He replied calmly.

"I don't give a shit." I sat upright.

"Calm down." He told me, "Just listen to me." I kept quiet now, "What you did to get yourself there was all on you. You made the decision to do what you did, so you had to face the consequences. I wasn't going to help you get away from those consequences. Although, that was _nothing_ compared to what you'd face in a detention center."

"Yeah, yeah." I grumbled, looking down.

"I'm sorry you had to learn that way, but you do understand the difference between right and wrong." He said, "Let me just tell you this. If you ever find yourself doing anything like that again, I won't get you out of there, and Carlisle agrees with me on this. You'll do your time. If you're going to act like that, like some common criminal, then you deserve to be treated like one. Am I clear on that?"

"Yes." I muttered, "Can I have my stuff back yet?"

"No." He seemed amused by that, "Sitting in that cell for one night was the lesson. This," He gestured around the room, "Is the punishment. You'll get your things back when you earn them. When you have no reason to be downstairs, you'll be up here."

"But there's nothing to do up here." I whined.

"Exactly." He said, "Consider this just a taste of what it'd be like if you were to be sent to a detention center. Just a small taste of what you'd face."

"But that's not fair."

"It's perfectly fair." He replied, "What's not fair, is how you acted yesterday. I want you to think long and hard about that while you're up here. What you did was completely inexcusable."

"I didn't do anything."

"You started a riot in the food court of a very busy shopping mall." He replied, his tone sharper now, "You assaulted a security guard."

"He was hurting Zack." I countered, "And I didn't start that riot. They did. It's not my fault they weren't more careful."

"Well, I hope you enjoyed yourself." He told me, "Because that won't be happening again. Will it?"

"No." I answered, sighing.

"Good." He replied, his tone easier now, "Now.." He sighed as well, "Are you hungry?"

"No." I answered again, shaking my head. My stomach turned at just the thought of food. Knowing I was truly not hungry, and not just being stubborn, he nodded a little.

"Carlisle will be up in a moment to look you over." He muttered, and I nodded. He slowly turned, and headed for the door.

He left the room, and I sighed. Laying back down. Unfortunately, too quickly, and I had to roll quickly to find the wastebasket. There was no way I was making it to the bathroom. Hanging off the side of the bed, clinging to the wastebasket tightly with both hands was how Carlisle found me.

Hardly anything came out, so I wasn't too upset about it, but it hurt so bad. He sat beside me on the bed, waiting patiently while I finished dying over the basket. I hated this.

He helped me sit upright, and handed me a bottle of water.

"Small, tiny sips." He told me, and I nodded. Shakily unscrewing the top, "Besides your stomach, and the fever, is there anything else bothering you?"

"My head." I mumbled, "It hurts, and I feel dizzy." He nodded a little.

"You're probably dehydrated, which will only make nausea worse. If you can't keep any water at all down, I'll have to start an IV." I really didn't want that, so I followed his instructions carefully. Hardly getting any water at all in my mouth before swallowing it.

I had to admit. I really wanted to chug the entire bottle as fast as I could, because it felt so good and I was so thirsty, but I knew that'd be the opposite of helpful.

"Wait.." I finally mumbled, looking up at him as it just then seemed to dawn on me, "I'm grounded. That means I can't see the boys anymore?"

"Not for some time." He replied, "I'm sorry."

"But you _know_ what they mean to me." I argued, "Without them, I'll probably lose my mind around here."

"Perhaps you should have considered that before, Leandra." He countered, "You should consider yourself very lucky you're home right now."

"Carlisle, _please_." I tried again, "I _need_ to see them. You _know_ how I get."

He sighed, standing, "I'm sorry. As I understand it, they're grounded as well, so please don't think you're the only one being punished."

"That's not-"

"As Jasper already told you, considering the gravity of what you've done, it's completely fair." He interrupted, "Now, I don't want to hear another word about it."

I whined, a couple of sobs in the sound, laying back. I actually felt like crying once I realized exactly how far this grounding went.

"Get some rest." Carlisle told me, "I'll be back up here to check on you in a little while."

"Whatever." I grumbled, not bothering to look at him.

"And remember. Small sips."

"Just go." I snapped, keeping my eyes down. I was pretty pissed at that point.

I made sure to wait until he closed the door behind himself before lobbing the bottle of water straight at the door. Surprisingly, the bottle stayed closed, instead of exploding water everywhere. I made a mental note to throw it harder next time.

I eventually did fall back to sleep, feeling sicker than I had in a long time. I hoped that meant it was passing. Whatever this was.

Evening had begun to fall by the time I was woken up next, feeling worse than I did before I fell asleep, which seemed impossible. Carlisle was back, and it took me a moment to remember that I was supposed to be mad at him. I lay curled on my side, watching as he fiddled with some thin tubing. The IV.

He didn't seem worried, which kept me from getting worried. I rolled onto my back at his request, and watched as he rolled up my sleeve. I thanked my lucky stars I didn't have a phobia of needles as I watched him pierce my skin over the vein in my arm.

"You'll feel better in a little while." He assured me, and I nodded a little, "I suggest just resting for a bit. Even if you feel like getting up."

I really hoped he was right, because throwing up would be awful hard to do with a needle stuck in my arm.

It had been a very long time since I'd felt this bad or this sick. I didn't know what I had, or what had caused it, but I just wanted whatever it was to end. Maybe it was a mix of things. Bad food, nerves, and once I'd started throwing up, dehydration? My lucky day. Punishment, perhaps, for doing what I'd done.

I slept most of the night, but a few times, I did wake up to being checked on and especially when the IV was taken out of my arm. Just because I was so pleased to be able to roll over.

I still felt like shit in the morning, but not near as bad as it had been getting the day before. I wasn't sure if I expected that IV to be filled with some magical healing fluid, but it surprised me to know I was still sick.

"Your fever is down." Carlisle told me the second he sat on the side of the bed, "How are you feeling?"

"Not so good." I muttered, letting my eyes close.

"You need something on your stomach." He sighed and stood up, "I'll bring you some dry toast."

"If it isn't the jail-bird." I groaned at Emmett's call from the doorway as soon as Carlisle left. I pulled my pillow over my head.

"Emmett, I _will_ set you on fire."

"That seems a little dark for you." He chuckled.

"Okay fine." I muttered, "I'll set fire to whoever told you."

"Come on." I bounced a little as he sat heavily on the side of my bed, "It couldn't have been that bad in there. You had it easy, shorty."

"_Please_ leave me alone." I whimpered.

"What's really bothering you?"

"You!" I snapped.

"Out with it, shorty."

"She's angry at me." Jasper's voice from the doorway had me clutching the pillow tighter over my head.

"It's not about that." I forced myself to sit up with a huff, "It's more about the fact that some lesson was more important to you than my safety."

"You needed to learn."

"You could have shown me another way." I countered weakly, "And that's another thing. Am I the only one still worried about Jack?" That seemed to surprise him, "He's still out there, and _nobody_ even cares anymore."

"That's not true." Jasper told me.

"You know the second he comes back, it's going to be because he knows we're not defensive anymore. He knows that after enough time, we're going to get careless, and he's waiting for that day.

"Jacob's still here, but that's only for Ness. Seth and Leah went home. The wolves stopped patrolling their side, Dess and Cole left with their coven long ago back to God knows where, and Eli hardly ever shows up around here anymore. Having too much fun in Denali with Tanya and her group. Eli doesn't even know where Jack went. Jack's right, Jasper."

"You have to consider the idea that he's given up. I mean, nearly three years is a long time to keep something like this up. Even for him."

"I'm never going to consider that." I countered, "And the fact that you believe that tells me you've gotten careless. That's _comforting_."

"Have some confidence in us, shorty." Emmett muttered.

"How can I have confidence in you when you're obviously letting your guard down?" I asked in return, "I mean, really. Letting me sit in some jail cell with some drunk old guy next to me, telling me how pretty I was on my knees is more important than anything else. Do you even fucking care what that did to me?"

"Leandra-"

"Of course not!" I snapped, answering my own question, "As long as I _learned_ something. I'll tell you what I learned. I learned that I can't fucking trust you to help me out when I need it! If I can't count on your help for _that_, how can I trust you'll even bother to help me with Jack? I know what I did was bad, but was it really bad enough to teach me _that_?"

Emmett spoke up, "Holy crap-"

"Now if you wouldn't fucking mind, I'd like to be left alone!" Getting this mad was making my nausea even worse. My heart pounded, my head protesting at the raise of my blood pressure.

Jasper took a step, "Calm-"

"Don't _you_, of all people, tell me to calm down!" I shouted, "I don't want to calm down! I just want to be left alone! I don't think that's too much to ask!" They both hesitated, "_Please_!"

Emmett looked to Jasper, who nodded, before standing.

The second they were out of the room, I stood up, crossed the room, and slammed the door shut behind them.

Throwing the lock, and using the left over anger to drag the dresser in front of the door. I wasn't opening the door for anyone. I knew if they really had to get in, they could, but I doubted they'd even try for awhile.

I dizzily made my way back toward my bed, and immediately had to throw up. Kneeling on the floor to throw up was more comfortable than hanging off the bed anyway.

I'd just crawled up onto the bed when a knock came to the door. I ignored whoever it was, closing my eyes. Falling asleep instantly.

**A/N: There you have it, friends. Chapter one, and already throwing fits and drama in there.  
Small spoiler alert: _That only gets worse._ :)  
I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. :D  
I'm fairly certain chapter two won't be too far behind this one, but I'd give it a couple of days. Just in case.**  
**THANK YOU! For my AMAZING reviews of last chapter! It really made me feel good to read those. :} I think I cried a little. No joke.**  
**Anyhoo. **  
**I'll be working on getting two out to you ASAP. **  
**Until two, my friends. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**ImPORTANT NOTE!: Not so happy themes in this chapter. Nothing too horrible, but worth a mention. Be cautious while reading this chapter.**

**Chapter Two**

I jumped a little, startling awake at the bed dipping beside me.

I was about to get mad, until I noticed who it was. Mikah reached over and smoothed my hair from my cheek and from my neck. I couldn't even begin to describe how relieved I was to see him there. He was acceptable.

"How'd you get in?" I asked quietly.

"The window." He replied, "I figured it was about time to remove that lock on the outside."

"Replace it on the inside." I requested, closing my eyes again.

"I know you're mad." He said, "And you have every right to be, but you have to see it from Jasper's point of view, too."

"Why are you all wet?" I asked, frowning as I sat up.

"It's raining outside." He replied as if that should be obvious. It should have been. Ninety percent of my room was windows. I just wasn't that observant.

"Sorry." I mumbled, "I guess I'm just out of it." He turned, reaching behind him onto the bedside table. He handed me a bottle of water first, followed by a lightly browned square. Toast.

I winced at just the thought of trying to eat it, so I flung it across the room. Mikah immediately caught it before it could hit the floor.

"You need to eat _some_thing." He told me, sitting back down beside me.

"I really don't feel like eating."

"That's because you haven't eaten." He replied, "Give it a try. A few bites at least. Come on."

I sighed, but did as he asked, and surprisingly, it went down pretty well. My stomach didn't rebel, but accepted it.

"You'd think I'd remember what it's like to starve." I mumbled after I finished the whole piece. I didn't want to push it, and let my stomach settle for a minute before sipping the water.

"That was a long time ago." He reasoned, "Your needs have always been met here. You've never had to worry about anything."

"I should still remember." I shrugged a little, scooting over and resting against Mikah's side. I wasn't worried about getting him sick, and his temperature soothed mine, "But I don't remember ever being that sick just for not eating."

"You were also used to it." He reminded me, "You're not used to it anymore."

"So tell me." He murmured after a moment, "Why'd you do it?" Now that I was calmer, it was a better time to ask me that question. I knew what he was asking about.

I sighed, shrugging again, "I never meant to hurt anyone. Really. I was just trying to have some fun."

"And the guard?"

"He had tackled Zack." I replied, "He was hurting him, and I guess I just reacted. I know it was stupid, but at the time, I just wanted to defend him. We just ran off again, and I really didn't think a riot would start because of it. That surprised me. If I'd known that would happen, I'd have given up then.

"I guess I deserved the smack in the face I got, but what bothers me the most is that Jasper just left me there. I know I had to face the consequences. I get that part, but he didn't have to leave me there all night. He could have just said all night, and shown up later. I still would have learned.

"Heather wanted to get me out of there more than Jasper did. She would have, if she'd been allowed to, but it had to be a family member."

"Considering you've never done anything like that before," Mikah finally sighed, "Considering that was your first offense, I think he could have been a little easier on you."

He hugged me tighter to his side, and I closed my eyes. It was nice to know _some_one understood my side. It didn't surprise me at all that it was Mikah. He'd always been patient with me.

"Get some rest, princess." He said quietly, "I'll bring you more toast a little later." I nodded and sighed as he stood up. I watched him go back to the window, respecting my wishes to leave the dresser in front of the door.

I actually did fall back to sleep, even feeling a little better when I woke up to Mikah returning. Carrying the next two pieces of toast in his lips like a Golden Retriever as he climbed carefully in through the window.

I had to laugh a little at that, sitting up slowly.

"Sorry." He laughed a little, "It's a little harder getting up here than you'd think without smashing the bread into a pocket or something. I didn't spit on it or anything."

"I don't care." I told him, laughing again, "I wouldn't freak out if you had." He smiled a little, sitting beside me and pulling yet another bottle of water from his pocket, "I still have most of the first one."

"I just want to be sure you have enough." He replied, and I smiled a little this time, taking it from him to set it beside the other one. My smile faded, though, and I glanced across the room to the door. He seemed concerned, "What is it?"

"I _really_ have to go."

"Go?" He asked, confused. Until he thankfully figured it out, "Oh. _Go_. Uh.. Hang on."

He stood up, and moved the dresser a lot easier than I had. Dragging it away enough for me to be able to squeak out.

"No one is going to bother you." He assured me, following me out into the hall, "They don't want to risk upsetting you when you're so close to feeling better. Go ahead."

I requested him to put the dresser back anyway, though. It made me feel better with it there. Returning to my room, he did as I requested.

Once I'd eaten, I laid there with Mikah sitting upright beside me, and we chatted.

"I wish they wouldn't ground me." I mumbled, "I get it. I mean, I get why they did, but I'm not like other kids. I freak out if I don't get out once in awhile."

"Believe me, I get it." He laughed a little, "But maybe it won't be so bad. I've hardly seen you for the passed three weeks. I miss you."

"Don't get all sentimental on me." I sighed, rolling to my back, "I'm not that much fun anyway."

"Sure you are." He replied, "I love being around you."

"That means something else now." I countered, looking up at him.

"What do you mean?"

"Well." I sighed, sitting up again, "You can't tell me that you haven't noticed."

"Noticed what?" He asked, and I smacked him playfully.

"I turn fourteen tomorrow." I answered, "Then, after that- Wait. When is your birthday?"

He laughed, "What?"

"Your birthday. You know, the day you were born. When is it?"

"September twenty-seventh." He still seemed confused, "Why?"

"You'd only been sixteen a month when I first met you?"

"I guess so." He replied.

"So you were turned closer to fifteen than seventeen."

"Where are you going with this?" He laughed, shaking his head.

"So.." I muttered, "After tomorrow, it won't matter if you kiss me."

That seemed to surprise him.

"Wait, what?" He stammered, "I, uh.. Now, hold on."

I had to laugh. It was funny to see how much that had messed him up. Josh acted the same way when I messed with his head. Usually, it was fun to just sit back and watch them struggle to remember how to form sentences, but I felt bad. This hadn't actually been my intention. I was just bringing it up.

"I.. _Really_ don't want to risk you that way." He admitted after a moment. I looked down, "No, it's not.. It's not like I don't _want_ to. I just.. If only you understood just.. Wow, uh.."

For once, I'd made him speechless. I laughed, hoping to ease him.

"Relax. I get it." I said, "I'm not talking about immediately. I mean later on."

"Good." He sighed.

"I wouldn't want to hit you anyway."

"Hit me?" He asked, frowning.

"I've had to hit Josh three times now for trying it." I explained, and his eyes narrowed, "I think he's learned his lesson, though. His head hit the fridge, then he hit the floor after the last slap I gave him."

"Beat down." Mikah liked that, "Good girl. What about Zack?"

"He's just Zack." I shrugged a little, "I haven't had to hit him yet."

"Good." He said again.

"Sometimes I get along better with him than I do with Josh." I said, "We like to make fun of Josh's girlfriend."

"Wait. He's got a girlfriend, and he still tries to kiss you?" Mikah asked, surprised.

"Sometimes." I allowed with another shrug, "I remind him why he shouldn't. Every time, but it's still fun to mess with his head."

"Clearly, you're very good at that." He muttered, and I had to stifle a laugh, "Is that why do you like to hang around with them so much?"

"No." I replied. I knew he was just curious, "I've never even kissed anyone. That's just part of the fun. I'd never actually do anything, but it's fun to confuse him. It's a game, I guess."

"That's not very nice, you know." He wasn't happy to hear that. His tone was a light scold.

"I know." I mumbled, looking down.

"And I want you to cut that out." He said, "Princess, he's a boy. To be honest, sometimes boys don't understand when it's just a game."

"He'd never do anything to me." I defended him quietly, "I know that."

"Not intentionally, maybe. Most boys are stupid at his age." Mikah countered, "Just think about it this way. Girls think with their minds, and boys think with their.." He trailed off with a pointed look, and I immediately laughed, "That's not just a myth. So sometimes they just can't tell when you're only playing around, and might try to take it too far. I just want you to be careful."

I nodded a little, wincing at that thought.

"I will." I said, "I definitely don't want to confuse him _that_ much."

"Good." He murmured, "Because I don't want to have to kill him." I sat closer to him with a sigh.

I smiled a little, "Were you like that?"

"Surprisingly, no." He answered, "I was more concerned with keeping the kids out of trouble, and fed. I think I was the only responsible one over the age of fifteen in that entire house."

"You've never had a girlfriend?" I asked, and he laughed a little.

"I've dated once or twice, but I don't think you could consider what I did dating."

"Why not?"

"I was fifteen." He laughed, "_So_ grown up." I laughed a little as well, "Going to the movies. Maybe pizza after, but even then, I don't think I was really what girls my age were looking for, to be honest. I've never made it passed the second date."

"Why not?" I frowned a little, "They'd have to be crazy."

"I was too respectful, I think." He replied, "I refused to move as fast as they apparently wanted to."

"Well, that's fucked up." I said, shocked, "Those sluts didn't deserve you." He laughed, shrugging a little.

"You run that risk, unfortunately." He smiled, not phased in the slightest, "I wasn't focused too much on relationships, though. It was just never something I wanted or had the time for."

"Me either." I sighed, "Not ever."

He smirked, "I think you'll change your mind some day."

"Relationships are stupid." I replied, "There's no point to them."

"Sure there is." He looked down at me.

"Like what?" I asked, "These days, nobody wants a relationship. They just fuck whoever they want, and move on." He shook his head.

"That's not all a relationship is about." He told me, "There's a whole lot more to it than that, princess. It's about just being with someone. I know it's hard to imagine right now, but when you're just with someone enough, you stop thinking of yourself as just you.

"Imagine friendships, or family. Those connections you have with people in your life, and triple it. It's about so much more. It's about.. Loving someone so much, that they become a part of you. That you just can't imagine your life without them."

That was a new way of thinking about it.

"I think I can imagine." I murmured, and he smiled a little, "Like you explained it before. Where the other person just knows you so well, nothing has to be said. They just understand everything by looking at you."

"Exactly." He replied, nodding.

"And when you're upset, they know just what to say or do to help you out of it." I continued, and he nodded again, "They know your moods. Everything about you so completely, that it's just so easy to be with them."

"Does that sound so bad?"

"And you never wanted that?" I asked instead of answering, looking up at him.

"I always thought that if it was meant to happen, it would." He replied vaguely, "It's not something anyone should have to hunt for. It should just happen, and I'd just know it." He met my eyes, and I smiled a little. We held gazes for a moment, and I sensed the mood change a bit. The mood softened, but it made it harder to breathe at the same time.

I just had to ruin it.

"You're such a softy." I mumbled, placing my hand on his face and shoved his head back as I sat up, "Such a romantic."

He chuckled, shaking his head as he took a breath.

"So." He said, "What makes Josh and Zack so appealing to you?"

"I don't know." I replied with a sigh, "They're.. Normal, I guess. With them, I don't have to worry about anything. I mean, I know I'm protected here, but there's always a worry. You know what I mean? Like I know just any second, there's always a chance of someone showing up. Whether it's Jack or Aro, but with them, that isn't there. With them, I'm just me. That kind of thing is addicting.

"I don't have to worry about someone showing up that I don't want to show up. Besides Josh's stupid girlfriend, but she's nothing to worry about. I could beat her ass if she started something, but I don't have to worry about getting killed with them, because we're always around other people.

"So it's not that I don't like being here. That's not it at all, if that's what you're asking. I love it here. I love my family, but.."

"But sometimes you just need a break back to reality." He murmured, and I nodded.

"Yeah." I sighed, "And they're my break. I don't have anything else. After everything that happened almost three years ago, I'm _still_ reeling over that. I'm still scared, and today, I meant what I said. I can guarantee you Jack hasn't given up. When he says something, he means it. I just.. Don't know how to convince anyone else of that."

"Leandra." He sighed, "Look at it this way. Do you really think Jack would try to come back when he knows Aro is looking for him? And who's to say Aro hasn't gotten him yet?"

"That's one thing Aro would have made sure to tell me, because he knows what that news would mean to me. He wants me to like him, right? He would tell me." I sighed again, heavier now, "I just don't know. Josh and Zack are my normal thing. They're the only normal thing I have. Well, _had_. I didn't even want to go to that stupid mall."

He stayed silent. Probably not sure what to say. Eventually, though, he hugged me into his side again.

"I'm so sick of sleeping, I could puke." I grumbled, and he laughed.

"Oh no." He chuckled, "Well, we don't want that. Come downstairs."

"No." I mumbled, "That's okay. I think I'll stay up here. It's where they want me anyway." He sighed, and forced a small smile.

"Oh, princess." He sighed.

"What?"

"If only you knew just how much you mean to them."

"Yeah," I snorted, pulling away and kneeling in front of him, "Because I'd let someone I care about sit and rot somewhere."

"I agree, that was a little harsh, but look at it this way." He sat up, "What do you think would have happened had he gotten you out right away?" I sat there, thinking for a moment, "You'd have gone and done the exact same thing again as soon as you could, right?"

"Probably." I mumbled.

"Would you do it again now?"

"Hell no." I gasped, "_Hell_ no. Not knowing he'd just leave me there."

"Because you learned what the consequences of those actions were." He said, "Imagine what you went through that night, only a thousand times worse, because you'd be at the mercy of every other delinquent in that detention center for probably close to four years. Fresh meat, the new girl." I shuddered, "That's where you would have gone, had they not done some _really_ fast talking, not to mention called in the motherload of all favors to get you cleared."

I looked down.

"Princess, you should be thanking them with every free breath you take, because they kept you from something that you really didn't want to experience." He murmured gently, "They care about you. Obviously more than you realize. One night in a place like that, where you were kept, was nothing."

"I didn't think it'd been that bad." I admitted quietly.

"Now." He sighed, reaching forward to take my hands, "Here's the _really_ interesting part. Something I bet you didn't know before, despite how hard they tried to tell you." I waited, looking up, "You're fully aware of how much trouble Zack was in when he went home, I'm assuming?"

I looked down again with another nod, and he continued, "They got him cleared as well." That surprised me enough to look back up, stunned, "That one was a little harder to do, considering he was caught with the merchandise, and used a weapon against that security guard, and he could have gotten four years, at least, in an _adult_ facility, but he's not. They cleared him as well."

"Why?" I asked quietly.

"Quite a few reasons." He replied, "Mainly because they knew what he and Josh meant to you. They know what he means to you, and as disappointed as they are in you, they didn't want you to lose him completely. Second, he's a good kid. One mistake like this shouldn't cost him his life that way. Everybody deserves a second chance now and then."

I didn't know what to say to that.

"And anyone willing to slam a chair into the face of someone who's got you pinned, ignoring the consequences, has my vote." I had to laugh a little at that one. I knew it was wrong what Zack did, but when Mikah put it that way, he did have a point.

I finally sighed heavily, "Dammit."

"What?" Mikah asked, laughing a little.

"I'm always wrong." I replied, "Just once, I want to be right when I act like a complete bitch."

"Not a _complete_ bitch." He replied quietly, and I looked at him, "I think Rosalie has you beat there." There was no way he'd say that if Rose was anywhere close enough to hear that. I knew that much, so I assumed they'd left again.

"Thanks." I muttered, shoving him as I laughed a little.

"So.." He mused with a smile, "Should I-"

"Yeah," I answered in a defeated tone before he had to ask, "Move the dresser." He immediately got moving, climbing off the bed, "By the way, I'm telling Rosalie you said that." He paused, staring at me.

"You wouldn't."

"I would." I smiled.

"Then I guess.." He hesitated, "I'll just have to keep you here." I had to laugh at how seriously he said that.

I yelped as I was suddenly lifted up, laying sideways in his arms as he spun me around.

"Stop." I laughed, "I'm gonna puke."

He stopped, but fell back onto the bed, pulling me with him. Rolling quickly, he landed off the other side, carefully landing on his back on the floor with me seated on his stomach.

"You're such a weirdo." I gasped around laughter.

"See?" He asked, "You don't have to wreak havoc to have fun. I'll play with you." The way he said that was more comforting and sweet than it was funny, and I really didn't know how to respond to that. He must have taken my silence as me thinking something else, because he chuckled, sat up, and tickled me, "Not like that!"

"No!" I laughed, fighting from his grip. I forced a serious look, "I'm still sick, you know. I'm _fragile_. Paws off, buddy." I couldn't keep my straight face for long, though.

"You've never been fragile." He chuckled, "You're just as tough as me. No lie."

"Bullshit." I laughed a little, using the bed as leverage to stand up. I sighed, sitting on the side of the bed, watching him watch me from where he sat on the floor.

"So." He said after a moment, "What do you want for your birthday?"

"A pony." I said immediately, and he smirked.

"Seriously."

"A unicorn." I clarified, "And it has to shit rainbows."

"Leandra." He chuckled, and I laughed a little as well.

"Does it matter?" I asked, "I'm grounded, remember?"

"That doesn't mean I can't make it a good birthday." He countered, "What would you want most?"

"Most? Nothing anyone can give me." I replied simply, and he tilted his head a little. I sighed, "I'd want peace of mind, but that's never going to happen."

"Jack?" He asked quietly, and I nodded a little, looking down.

"I wish he'd just get it over with."

"Maybe he gave up?" Mikah suggested, and I gave him a look.

"Not you too." I grumbled, "You know what I'm going to say to that."

"Right." He sighed, "Underestimating."

"It just.." I sighed, leaning forward a little, "It feels too much like I'm on borrowed time. Like I'm only getting older because he's letting me. I fucking _hate_ that."

"You know what I'm going to say to that." He repeated.

"I can't help it." I murmured, shaking my head, "You know, you'd think I'd be used to it by now, but this really isn't something I can just get used to, because if I ever did get used to it, that would mean I'm letting my guard down."

"Everyone has to let their guard down now and then, princess." Mikah replied, "It's just how life goes. Nobody can stay tense forever. It'd drive them crazy."

"Now you see my point." I muttered, "If nobody else will stay guarded, that just means I have to, but it's wearing me down a lot lately." I paused, "But that _doesn't_ mean I want you running off to try to find him again. I want to make that clear right now, because if you ever did that to me again, I'd kick your ass."

"Noted." He smirked a little.

"And if Aro ever shows up again, I swear I'm swan diving off the roof the second I have the chance." I muttered. Mikah's smile faded, concern replacing it.

"I'll just catch you." He warned, standing up.

"It's the thought that counts." I sighed, laying back, "And I think about it a _lot_."

I yelped again as I was once more lifted.

"Come on, princess." He carried me from the room, despite how I struggled.

"Not fair." I laughed a little, "I thought I told you paws off?"

"That would work if I had paws." He grinned, and I sighed, falling limply in his arms dramatically.

"Oh, the exactitude." I mumbled, my tone solemn, "Where are you taking me, Mister Oh-So-Literal?"

"It's about time you had a good long talk with your family." He told me, and I whined in dread.

"Don't you know how it pains me to admit I'm wrong?"

"Yes, I'm trying to torture you." He chuckled, descending the last set of stairs.

"Swan dive off the roof?" I heard from Alice the second Mikah set foot in the living room, "I hope you're joking."

"Nope." I muttered as Mikah sat me on the couch, "I sort of wish I was, though. I'm not the biggest fan of heights."

"That's not something to joke about, Leandra." I shook my head at Jasper's firm voice.

"I know it's not." I replied quietly, "A fear of heights is a serious matter, and I _really_ don't like them. Which is kind of funny, considering my bedroom is on the highest-"

"I'm being serious." He countered.

"So am I." I replied, "That's why I'm not joking. I meant it."

"You're thirteen years old." Jasper pointed out, "What are you doing considering something like that?"

"I've always wanted to try sky diving-"

"Stop it." I shut up. I couldn't help my sarcasm. It was just something I started doing after awhile. It was a defensive thing I did when tension was high.

"Alright." Esme sighed from beside me, "There are clearly many things that need discussing."

"How can you be so calm about that?" Alice asked now. Instead of answering, I looked up.

"I never, _ever_ thought I'd say this, but can I _please_ have my clothes back?" I asked, "You can keep everything else, but the second I have better pajamas, I'm burning these in the yard. With overwhelming glee."

Incredulously, she looked to Jasper. I was being difficult, and I knew that.

"Better yet," I grinned, "You can even buy me some new ones if you want. I'll go with you-"

"You've been banned from that mall, Leandra." She sighed heavily.

"So take me to a different one." I replied, "I promise I won't jack anything-"

"Leandra." Jasper's firm tone had me looking to him.

"What?" I asked defensively, "I'm bad at it anyway."

"Clearly." Mikah chuckled.

"Mikah." Alice barked his direction, "Don't encourage her."

"Okay, okay." I muttered, "I know I'm in trouble, and I know it's for good reason, but-"

"No 'but'." Jasper told me, "It's for good reason. Period." I shook my head.

"That shouldn't start for another week-"

"Will you _please_ knock it off?" Alice was losing her patience, which was very hard to do. Now was the time to start cooperating. However, I just had to reach over, and deliberately knock a pillow off the couch onto the floor.

Unimpressed, I only got stared at in return.

"Sorry." I mumbled, looking down.

"At least we know she's feeling herself again." Mikah offered in the silence that followed.

"Better than feeling like the roadkill I felt like when I first got home." I muttered.

Mikah smirked, "Roadkill looked better."

"Oh, thanks." I snapped at him, "Wait a second. You weren't even there when I first got home. Shut up."

"Back on topic." Esme sighed again.

"Clothes." I reminded them, "Please?"

"Not for awhile yet, Leandra." Alice shook her head.

"Oh, come on!" I whined, "Do you know how uncomfortable these are?"

"Yes." She answered, "And those two sets are all you get."

"I swear, I'll start running around naked."

"Wait, what?" Mikah asked, "Uh.."

"Go for it." Alice challenged, knowing full well I was bluffing.

"I'll steal your clothes." I crossed my arms.

"I'd love to see you try it." She challenged again, crossing her own arms, "And besides. I wouldn't mind you dressing a little femininely now and then anyway."

"Oh, don't start on that." I grumbled, rolling my eyes.

"We're not negotiating." Alice replied.

It fell silent after that, until I finally sighed.

"How long?" I asked.

"That entirely depends on you, Leandra." Jasper replied, "And your behavior."

"And so far, I haven't been convinced." Alice added.

"And who says you're in charge of my prison sentence?" I demanded, "Esme?" I looked to her, and she gave me a look. She was obviously not happy with my disrespect.

Finally, getting the message, I sighed heavily once again.

"Okay." I snapped lightly, "Fine. You win, okay? Keep my stupid clothes. I don't care."

"Leandra." Mikah spoke up, and I looked up at him. I knew what he was telling me.

I sighed, "Alright, alright." This was really hard for me, "Thank you."

"For?" Mikah prompted.

"For getting me out of there." I mumbled, "Even though-"

"No." Mikah shut me up, "No 'even though's. Just say what you need to say." Sometimes, Mikah was really irritating. Had I been with Josh or Zack, I'd have hit them by now, but with Mikah, I really couldn't do that.

"O_kay_." I grumbled, "Just thank you."

"For what?" Mikah prompted again.

"Oh, come on."

"Just spit it out, Leandra." Mikah told me, "This shouldn't be this hard." I knew he was right.

"Fine." I sighed, "Thank you for getting me and Zack out of going to prison, _and_ for caring about me enough to let me rot in some jail cell all night so I don't wind up there again." I looked to Mikah, "Happy?"

"Much better." He nodded a little.

I had to try again, "Even though-"

"Ah, ah." Mikah shut me up again, but this time with a finger to my lips, "Just leave it there." I snapped, biting him. He sighed, giving me a look. I glared at him in return, biting a little harder before I let go.

"You're welcome, Leandra." Jasper murmured, and I looked to him, "I can only hope it had the effect on you I was hoping for."

"I swear I'll never steal another thing in my life." I muttered truthfully. He smirked a little, "That was fun, but not worth going to jail over."

"And that's the lesson." He nodded to me.

"Don't you have something else to say?" Mikah asked me, and I looked down.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, "For acting the way I did, and for saying the things I said."

"I think I can understand where you were coming from." Jasper replied, "And I know you still feel wronged by what I chose to do, but had I felt you were in any danger there, I would have gotten you out sooner, but I felt certain that there was no safer place for you. Aside from the.. Unpleasant occupant in the neighboring cell."

"He passed out like half an hour after he got there, and I didn't hear another word from him." I admitted, "I still hated him there, though. That had to be the most humiliating night of my life."

"And that's partially what makes you decide not to attempt that again, am I wrong?" Jasper asked, and I shook my head. He wasn't wrong.

"That's most of it." I replied, "What other reason could there be?"

"How about the fact that it's wrong?" Carlisle asked, and I looked over, watching him descend the stairs. He must have been in his office.

"I know it's wrong." I replied, "I just don't care that it's wrong." Beside me, Mikah shook his head a little, "What? At least I was honest. I could go on and on about how sorry I am that I did it, but that'd just be a waste of time. I don't care who it screws over if I'm having fun while doing it. It stops being fun when I get punished for it, though."

Carlisle sighed, coming to stand beside Esme, "One step at a time, I suppose."

"What's changed?" Alice asked, and I looked to her, "Two and a half years ago, you weren't like this."

"That's easy. I learned something." I answered, "There things worth worrying about, and things not worth worrying about. When I realized the difference between the two, what became worth worrying about became a much easier thing once I let everything else go.

"Screwing people over while having a little bit of fun isn't worth worrying about. The thing that _is_ worth worrying about, is just waiting for an opportunity. That opportunity comes when _you_ all decide that what is worth worrying about isn't worth worrying about anymore."

Mikah sighed, "Leandra-"

"I'm just making a point." I said, "If I were to worry about every little single thing that could possibly go wrong, or worse, worry about some random fucking stranger's fragile little feelings, then I'd go insane. Far as I'm concerned, there are two types of people in this world. People I like, and people that can go straight to Hell. That's what changed. I just got tired of worrying about the tiny things, so I let it go."

"Fair enough." Alice murmured, looking down. I took a breath, sighing it out.

"Sorry." I told her, "I'm just.. Wound up, I guess. Sensitive subject."

"Leandra," Jasper spoke up, and I looked to him this time, "There's also one more thing I've been meaning to talk to you about. I think it has a whole lot to do with why you do these things."

I knew what he was getting at, and I immediately shook my head. Not again! He was always pushing about _some_thing, and if he tried this time, I was going to say something I shouldn't.

"Not right now." I mumbled, standing, "Please. I don't want to get mean."

"You haven't faced everything. You're running from this."

"Don't push it, Jasper." I warned, shaking my head again. I gave him fair warning. It was up to him now.

"What is it?" Esme asked quietly.

"She's depressed." Jasper answered, and I tossed my hands up, exasperated. Esme looked to me as Jasper continued, "She has been for quite some time, but I don't know what's causing it."

"Let's think about that for a second." I growled. I was in a much worse mood now.

"I know the reasons you have to be depressed, Leandra." Jasper told me calmly, "But I don't know what it is specifically."

"You don't need to." I muttered defensively, "It's stupid anyway."

"Leandra, how many times do I have to tell you?" He asked in return, "If it means something, _anything_ to you, it isn't stupid."

"But if I consider it to be stupid, then it's stupid." I countered, "You can't change my opinion of something. That's mine."

"Honey." Esme murmured.

"Dammit, this is what I didn't want." I snapped firmly, looking to Jasper, "Why can't you ever just butt out, and just leave shit alone? This is just like before. When I was eleven."

"I'm sorry, but I think-"

"I don't care what you think." I barked, "I don't care what worked before, or what I told you before. I'm not some stupid kid anymore, Jasper. I don't want to talk about it, I don't want anyone to _fix_ it, so when I say to leave it, fucking _leave_ it!"

"He's only trying to help you." Alice defended him.

"I know." I sighed, my tone easier now, "I know he's only trying to help, but it's not fair. I'm not in here demanding to know every little thing about you, and even if I did, you'd just tell me to buzz off."

"That's not true." Alice told me.

"Yes it is." I countered, "It's happened before. It's happened tons of times, and you know what I did when you didn't want to talk about something? I left it alone."

"This is different." She replied.

"How?" I asked, "Just how is this different? Why am I not allowed to have _any_ secrets?" Before anyone could give me some bullshit answer, I decided to continue, "Do you want to know one of the other reasons I leave? Why I always want to be around the boys?"

Silence answered me, but they listened.

"Because with them, I'm not trapped." I said, "Here, I have absolutely _no_ privacy."

"You're alone all the time." Alice frowned a little, confused.

"That's not true." I shook my head, "I sneeze up on the third floor, and everybody in the entire house hears it. I might be alone in the room, but I can't move, I can't breathe, my heart doesn't beat without everybody knowing it." I had more to say, "Between Jasper and Edward, my thoughts are not only my thoughts and my emotions are not only my emotions. If that's not bad enough, if he chooses, I have no choice but to feel what Jasper wants me to feel. Do you know what that's like?"

I took a breath, "I _know_, and I get it. None of that is any of your fault, but it's driving me up the wall. It's driving me in-fucking-sane, and I don't know how else to deal with it, but leave all the time, because there, I know I can think and feel whatever I want, and nobody's going to know.

"And another thing." I paced a little, "They don't treat me like I'm some lost little puppy that needs fucking therapy every time I turn around. They treat me like I can _do_ something. They treat me like I make a difference, like I'm not just something to feed and water everyday. Like I'm not just some.. Pet. The older I get, the more it's like that. Like you own me instead of me just being a part of the family. Like the older I get, the tighter the collar becomes, and that's not how it should be! With them, I don't feel like that.

"Can you blame me for wanting that? Can you blame me for not wanting to lose that? I guess you can, because I don't get to see them anymore for God knows how long.

"Can you honestly stand there and tell me you don't still treat me like any second, I'm going to mess up? Can you honestly tell me that you don't still treat me like I'm some stupid kid that can't think, or feel for that matter, for herself? Like some stupid kid that can't have her own thoughts, can't have her own emotions, or even fucking dress herself the way she wants to without apparently looking homeless?"

I had to aim that last one at Alice as she'd told me that on more than one occasion, but I continued, "I have my thoughts, I have my emotions, and sometimes, I just want them to stay mine!"

I hadn't even realized I'd started to cry. This was obviously bothering me more than I even thought before.

"If I wanted everybody to know everything, I'd tell them myself, Jasper." I sobbed where I stood, "That's your gift. I get that you can't just turn it off, but just because you know, does _not_ give you the right to tell everybody fucking _everything_!"

With that, I shoved passed him, and headed for the door. He stood there, seemingly stunned, but I didn't care.

I paused in the doorway, looking to Mikah. I had one thing to say to him, "This was a _bad_ idea!"

Mikah sighed, "Leandra, wait-"

I left the house, slamming the door behind me before he could say anything else. Thanks to the pouring rain beyond the porch, still in my pajamas and my lack of shoes, I decided to stop on the porch. Finding a corner off to the side to curl into.

What a way to handle my last day as a thirteen year old. Curled into a corner outside on the porch, sobbing like some stupid five year old. I _hated_ how true my words had been. I _hated_ how I had to tell them everything. I _hated_ how everyone had to know absolutely everything about me. I was never allowed to keep anything to myself.

I loved my family. There was no doubt about it, but there were just some things I couldn't handle right then. I'd dealt with those things for too long.

As if right on cue, I looked up, watching Edward and Bella step from the trees. They'd spent quite some time at the house these days, especially as Ness got older, so it wasn't a surprise to see them there.

I did what I could to empty my seething thoughts, and pulled myself up as Edward stopped to look at me. I couldn't quite see his expression, but he seemed sad.

I rounded, jumping off the porch and jogging for the trees on the other side of the house. I wasn't going far. I couldn't.

I went as far into the trees as I could, standing with my back against a tree as I took a rest. The bottoms of my bare feet stinging with the effort it took to get this far on the sharp underbrush, but if I sat, I wouldn't get back up until I calmed down.

The sound of the rain pouring down was calming, allowing me to breathe, along with the sound of the river nearby.

I shoved away from the tree, and started forward.

It really didn't take me long to find the river, peering down at the rushing water below the ledge. How had it been so long since I'd been out here?

I wasn't mad that Jasper had been right. That wasn't the point. I _was_ depressed. Deeply depressed. Maybe that was why he took such offense to me mentioning swan diving off the roof.

The only thing I was mad about was the fact that he told everyone. Everything I told them just moments ago was only one small, tiny part of the reason behind my depression. There were so many things that added to it.

Standing there on the edge of the river, I stared down. Watching the water flow by in a rush about five feet below the rocky ledge I stood on, the rain lately adding to the violently churning current. Just watching it, as watching it seemed to calm me. Almost too much.

I thought about so many things while my toes carefully gripped the edge.

I thought about two years ago. I thought about the first, and very last visit from Aro so far. He was still out there. He knew my decision, but that wouldn't stop him from trying, and I knew either way, I'd have to decide to go with him. That's what he wanted, and I knew eventually, he was going to grow impatient.

I thought about all the ways those visions had ended badly. All the ways I had ended my own life. I knew full well that's when my depression really started. Seeing those things happening to myself were just too much for me to handle without dwelling on them. They had stuck with me, and for the life of me, I couldn't remember how I'd dealt with them before. It was so much harder now. Very difficult, and it wasn't stopping this time.

Unexpectedly, grief washed over me, stealing my breath in a soft sob.

This was my own. I felt this way so often now that I'd nearly grown desensitized to it. I had no doubts that this was what had concerned Jasper so much. He knew, and it embarrassed me to know that he felt the pain I felt. Not even knowing why I felt the pain I felt. He had no idea. Nobody did. If they did, they'd watch me much closer.

Continuing on with my thoughts, I moved on. I thought about how I knew that I was nowhere near where I should be. This place I was stuck in, the way I felt, it wasn't right. I knew that, but I wouldn't do anything to change it.

I thought about Jack.

The last conversation I'd had with him that night. The last time I saw him. The more I thought about it, the more I was positive I'd been right in what I'd told him. I knew he was only hurting probably more than I was about his own past, and the things Ken had done to him. The things he had to see. The things he witnessed, and sometimes to be forced to help with the things Ken would do to Heather. I knew I'd been right, and I knew that in some odd way, he did care about me.

Somehow that changed my entire view of him, and the things he'd done. It changed my entire view of myself.

The older I got, the further I got in my life, it became apparent to me that I hadn't escaped becoming what Jack had attempted to make me become as much as I'd once thought. It was still there, and the older I got, the less I cared about suppressing it.

I hated to admit it, and I despised myself for admitting it, but I was torn. I was torn between hoping Jack was okay, and hoping he wasn't. I hated Jack for all he'd done to me, but I hoped he stayed safe. I hoped he stayed gone, and stayed out of sight.

It depressed me most of all to tell myself how torn I was. I questioned my sanity, convinced myself I was a horrible person, and on more than one occasion, I did consider what it'd be like to die, only to move back to the thought of how horrible of a person I was for even considering that thought, and questioning my sanity.

It was a circle, a loop that I couldn't escape.

That thought crossed my mind often, but I was usually very careful about when and where to let that thought loose. Reminding myself fleetingly about why I shouldn't be thinking those kinds of thoughts, or at least why I should be careful about when and where I thought them.

My family.

It would tear them up to lose me, and despite how torn I was, I just couldn't do that to them. I was torn, what felt like three major ways. Between Aro and the threat of his impatience, between Jack and what I felt about him now, and between my family and how much they tried. They tried so hard for me, but here I stood, on the edge of a river.

It would be so easy. _So_ easy to just slip. To fall into the water, and just forget to breathe. It would be so easy. Never having to worry about another thing again. Never having to think, or feel again. I would be so easy. The rain made everything so slick, my skin was slippery.

I flexed my toes on the edge, staring down at them, watching. My cold, drenched hair clung to my cheeks and neck, rain trailing icily over my face, and down my back.

Just one step. One step was all I'd have to take. Oh, how I wanted to. I really wanted to. I ached for it like nothing else I'd never known.

However. Just like physically, the thought of my family was something so solid, I couldn't move it from my head. Almost literally pushing me back from the edge. I couldn't do it. I couldn't be that selfish, no matter how much I wanted to.

I had to be stronger than this.

I loved them. Sure, they drove me up the fucking wall sometimes, but what family didn't do that? I had to let that be stronger than whatever this depression wanted to do to me. I had no other choice, because that's exactly what something like this would be. Selfish. Unspeakably selfish. To not consider how they'd feel would be selfish.

Though it was my life to decide what to do with, it was a decision that involved my family as well. I couldn't pretend not to know that. With as many times as it'd been explained to me just how tightly knit this family was, I wasn't stupid.

And how stupid was it, anyway? To let something like this push me to the edge of the river? Families fought. It's just how it works sometimes. I was stronger than that.

I knew it was more, a whole lot more than that, but I chose not to focus on that anyway. I needed to snap out of this and step back, not jump feet first.

Sighing, I turned my head. Closing my eyes, blinking tears from them and breaking the almost hypnotizing hold the water had on me, and turned away. Stepping away from the ledge, and moving over. Sitting down, my back against a tree, I made sure I was a safe distance away from the edge.

I did what I did with the boys for more than one reason. One, it helped me escape to normal. Two, they didn't treat me like something weak. Three, I didn't have to think while I was with them. Like sleeping, only more satisfying. Sleeping, I was still plagued, but with them, I didn't have to think. I was positive that they were the only reason I was still around.

"I'll talk to Carlisle." I didn't turn, not bothering to look in Edward's direction, "About reconsidering the terms of your grounding."

"Thank you." I murmured quietly.

"I won't give specific details if I can avoid it." He continued, and I heard him stepping closer, "And I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. We're all very sorry, and I know it doesn't begin to cover it, but Jasper and I had no idea what this was doing to you."

"It's not even about that." I mumbled, "You heard me."

"Perhaps not, but it still couldn't have helped." He replied, "Feeling so cornered that way will only drive a person away. I am grateful, however, that I've heard the things I've heard from you today. It answers so many questions, and I can finally say I understand."

I didn't reply, turning my gaze back to the water.

"And I also wanted to thank you." He murmured, "For thinking of us."

I knew what he was referring to.

How could I not think of them? I wasn't ungrateful in any way for everything they'd done for me in my life. They _mattered_ to me. More than anyone else, and as much as I _did_ feel cornered, I wouldn't trade my family for anything. I owed them my life. Many times over.

The very least I could do was think of what losing me would do to them, and that was more than enough to immediately change my mind. Every single time. No matter how much I'd give to have the option never to think or feel again.

In a way, I considered that way out to be unfair. Despicable. Though I wouldn't be around to have to live with it, _they_ would, and I couldn't leave that on them.

"Please." Edward murmured, "Never feel like you can't talk to us about these things, Leandra. Especially what you told them today. We _need_ to know these things if we're going to correct how we interact with you. Sometimes we don't realize that the things we try to do in an effort to help you is actually hurting you. If something we do is bothering you a great deal, even a small bit, please don't hesitate to bring it up."

Silently, I nodded. I really wasn't up to talking, and I knew he saw that.

"Take all the time you need out here." He assured me, and I nodded again.

I didn't hear him leave. I didn't look to see if he'd left, but given his last few words, he was going to leave me be. Giving me the space I needed so much right then.

I stayed out there for quite some time.

The rain picked up after awhile, soaking me even further, but I didn't care. I eventually turned, sitting on the edge of the river. My legs hanging over the side as the rain drenched me. I always hated feeling this way, but today, it was unavoidable.

I just needed time to fix whatever state of mind I was in. Then I'd go back in, just to be the same, sarcastic little bitch with a bad mouth I always was.

That was my thing. That was my cover. That was what I hid behind to keep this emotion at bay. The way I was, sarcastic and mean, was safe. It kept most people from bugging me, I learned, and it kept me in control of things. For the most part.

I didn't look over as I vaguely noticed someone settle down beside me. Knowing exactly who it was already.

I listened to Mikah sigh, and I knew he was about to attempt some sort of bullshit pep-talk, but I immediately shook my head.

"Just shut up." I mumbled, "I don't want to talk about it."

He gave a nod, and sat quietly with me. Not saying a word, and neither did I. Knowing I needed silence as much as I knew it.

However, I did want to let him know that I wasn't too upset with him, so I reached over, grabbed his hand in mine, and lifted his arm. Scooting closer to sit against his side and letting his arm down around me.

Taking the hint, he embraced me gently. Despite his cold temperature, and the fact that we were both soaked to the skin, I felt comforted. Just like I always was.

Overhead, thunder rumbled off in the distance, but it was far enough away not to concern me any, and a breeze blew by. Moving my wet hair just a bit. I knew I was starting to feel better by the way I started to care how cold I was.

**A/N: And there we have chapter two.  
I know it's not much, and pretty depressing, but it's only chapter two. :}  
THANK YOU! To those that left your amazing opinion in the review box for me to read! I could read reviews all day. :):)  
Chapter three shouldn't be too far off, and it's got a little more substance to it than this one. I promise. :)  
Until three, my friends. **


	3. Chapter 3

**SiDE NOTE: This chapter heavily references the first story in this series. If you haven't read that, for whatever reason, be prepared to be lost. :)**

**Chapter Three**

My shivers only had to increase a little bit before Mikah insisted we go back inside. I didn't put up too much of a fuss, as long as he got to come upstairs with me, and the thought of getting warm again made it easier to agree.

I sighed, waiting for the excess water to drip off of me just outside the door. Mikah helped squeegee the water from my arms and calves, pausing now and then to wring out my hair, which would have been funny, had I not been facing the family I let down with my little outburst.

Esme brought a couple of towels for me, which I accepted gratefully. I was starting to get really cold. I wrapped one around myself while Mikah worked on drying my hair. I felt like a drowned rat.

"I'm sorry." I finally told them, "I think I just need to be alone tonight. I guess sometimes, I just don't play well with others."

"We understand, Leandra." Jasper told me, "Edward explained." I nodded a little, keeping my eyes down. He probably didn't explain everything, which comforted me. Otherwise, they'd be far more concerned with locking me inside a harmless, padded room.

"Besides." Alice murmured, "I think we've been expecting too much of you again. I'm sorry, Leandra."

"Come inside, honey." Esme offered, concerned.

"But the carpet-"

"Forget the carpet." She said, "It's warm in here. Come on."

I couldn't argue with that. I scurried quickly through the door, and across the room to the fireplace, and the tile under it. Esme handed Mikah a couple of towels as well, and he worked on drying himself most of the way. She wasn't as worried about him, and truthfully, neither was I. There was a fire burning in the fireplace, and it felt so good to have it warm me up.

"I don't mean to be a pain in the ass." I murmured, my voice trembling along with me.

"It's kind of to be expected." Alice laughed a little, "Considering you turn fourteen in roughly eight hours."

"You know the exact time I was born?" I asked in surprise.

"We learned pretty much everything there was to know about you the moment you were adopted." Jasper admitted, and I looked to him, "It wasn't hard to do."

"Three-twenty-four in the morning on July fourteenth." Alice murmured confidently.

"Seven pounds, fourteen ounces." Esme added, and I laughed once, "Eighteen inches long."

"Wow." I said, "I didn't even know that."

"I'm such a jerk." I muttered, sighing.

"No you're not." He told me, "Not at all. Leandra, you were finally honest about how you felt. You can't be blamed for that. Not all of us are mind-readers. We can't tell what bothers you and what doesn't. You're just as much entitled to your feelings as anyone else, but we do need to hear things like that now and then."

"I'll be as brutally honest as I can from now on." I shivered, and he smirked. Finally, my sarcasm made someone smile. I guess there was a time and place for it.

"And I'll do my best to respect your boundaries." He replied, "You're absolutely right. You do deserve the right to the privacy of keeping your emotions to yourself, and to choose when and where to talk about them."

"Thank you." I murmured. That was all I asked of him. I didn't specifically care that he knew. I just wanted the choice whether or not to tell anyone.

"However," He continued, "If I do find something worth being concerned about it, I will bring it up."

"As long as you don't announce it to the entire house, I don't mind." I replied, "Just talk to me about it. That's all I want."

"As well as respecting your wishes of not wanting to talk about it." He added, and I nodded.

"That too." I said, "I swear, I won't explode if I keep my feelings to myself."

"I beg to differ." Mikah muttered, finally stepping inside. He'd shed his shirt to wring out on the porch, given the way it was balled in his hand, but the rest of him was covered. I glanced to him, before looking down, "That was a decent explosion, princess."

I decided to change the subject before we could continue on with how wrong I was.

"How is it this cold in July?" I asked with a trembling whimper, "Isn't July supposed to be warm?"

"It is unseasonably cold." Jasper murmured, confused as well as he glanced outside.

"Go get changed, sweetie." Esme suggested, and I nodded quickly. Without an ounce of argument or hesitation from me, I made my way quickly up the stairs, just to avoid getting more of the floor wet than necessary.

Grabbing another towel from the closet on my way, I sprinted to the bathroom. I wasn't even worried about the second pair of very uncomfortable pajamas. I just wanted to take a hot shower and be warm again after being soaked for so long.

After the eventful afternoon, I realized just how much I should have been resting. I didn't feel sick anymore, but sore. Achy almost, but the shower helped with that.

I smiled a little as I returned to my room to find one of my favorite sets of pajamas folded on my bed. Instead of forcing me to wear the uncomfortable ones, they'd given just a little, and provided me with these ones. I'd have to remember to thank them for this.

I laid awake in bed that night, tired, but my mind unable to quiet down.

Fourteen was no significant age, but to me, it felt different than my previous years. I was sure everyone had years like that, ones that meant more than the rest, but I didn't give it too much thought. I just knew what I felt.

I reflected more now than I ever did before any other birthday. I thought about the events that must have taken place fourteen years ago. What was it like, the day I was born? What was my mom thinking? Feeling? Did she know days in advance that the time was coming? Was it just one of those mom things?

Was she scared? Excited?

What was my dad feeling? Thinking? Was he trying to keep her calm, but silently freaking out himself? Or was she the one doing the calming?

I'd never heard stories about my arrival. I knew the details. Weight, and how long I was. I knew the time, and obviously the day. I'd seen the video my dad made, but that didn't give details, and other than that, I had no idea what it was like for them. The day my biological parents became parents for the first time, and the day that I changed their lives forever.

The day I took my first breath, which carried me on until this day. Fourteen years later.

It was no specific age, fourteen, but it was still amazing to think about. Many, many times I'd thought about what horrible things my life had brought me, but I never once thought this much about how I even came to be alive to experience them.

I also had to think, however. How did all of that just disappear one day? I'd heard more than once that my mom cared about me, and I'd seen the proof on the video that she did love me once. How could she just wake up one day and not love me anymore?

Shaking my head with a sigh, I rolled over onto my side. It wasn't so much depression I felt over thinking about that, but a disappointment. It was a shame. It really was. I felt sorry for her, for once.

I felt sorry for all she'd had to go through, and how much it had to hurt when she woke up one day to realize that she no longer had a daughter, and that I'd never forgive her for her negligence. How I'd never forgive her, even today, for her turning her back on the child she was supposed to protect.

I knew how Jack was, and I knew how manipulative he was, but that was really no excuse. She had all the father and husband she needed in my dad. She got greedy, and obviously wanted something else. It was a selfish thing for her to do.

It was shame, it was, how that all worked out, but I comforted myself to a point with the thought that she couldn't do any more damage. She couldn't hurt me anymore. I had the best mom and dad in the world now. Ones that wouldn't abandon me for anything. I was blessed, I realized, for having them. Parents, a mom and dad that loved me no matter my flaws, and I had to admit. I did owe her that.

I hadn't even noticed I was falling asleep, until suddenly, I was waking up to the bed gently dipping behind me. Knowing it was Mikah, I sat up and whacked him with a pillow.

"I just fell asleep!" I half shouted, half laughed, listening to his responding laugh.

Thankfully, he left the light off, so I didn't force myself to stay awake the rest of the night. I was eventually able to fall asleep beside him.

I vaguely woke later to him gently kissing the top of my head with a murmured, "Happy birthday."

I lightly shoved his face away, with a mumbled, "Shut up. I'm sleeping." His quiet chuckle was the last I heard from him that night.

In the morning, I woke to find he'd left the room, but I didn't mind. He probably wasn't used to sitting with me all night anymore.

As I slept that night, my dreams came from the past.

I wasn't sure what caused it, or what took me back that far, but there was definitely meaning in these dreams. If it weren't for Alice, her insisting and her persistence, I wouldn't be there now. Somewhere in the last two and a half years, I'd forgotten about that. I'd forgotten about where I started over, and the memory of the pain of losing them was enough to set things back into perspective.

These dreams meant a lot to me, and they left me feeling very bad for the way I'd been acting lately. I wasn't sure if it was the night, or if it was just random, but either way, I couldn't shake it when I woke up. It wasn't a bad dream, but it made me a little sad. How much time had I wasted?

I decided to sort it away for later, because no doubt, there would be a discussion about it when I brought it up. For once, I wanted one. I wanted a long discussion about this particular thing. I felt like it would really help me, and for once, not hurt me while talking about it.

I descended the stairs with Mikah sometime around two that afternoon, knowing exactly why he had to escort me from my room. Some stupid party Alice decided to torture me with. It never failed. Every single year. Surprise parties just weren't a surprise anymore when it happened like clockwork on the fourteenth of July.

Until I saw who stood there, and very much was surprised.

Zack grinned from beside the couch. Josh beside him. I actually squealed, jumping from the middle of the stairs to the bottom, and hugging them tight. Zack first, because he was closer.

"You still have your skin." I pointed out, looking Zack over.

"You survived jail." He pointed out next and I had to laugh.

"Barely." I admitted, hugging Josh tightly.

"Don't get too excited." Mike spoke up from beside Heather, "Zack is still grounded." I turned to look at him. In his arms, was Lizzie. Lizzie, being Heather's youngest baby at two years and a few months old, and the baby girl I'd predicted she'd be almost three years before.

Though Zack said he'd hate his baby sister, he seemed just as fine with her as he was with Hunter. Maybe even more so. She was the cutest little thing, taking a whole lot of Heather's looks, but her dad's softer shade of pale blue eyes, versus the icy blue Heather had. Wavy, soft brown hair. Pulled back into curling pig-tails today.

"So am I." I told him, laughing a little, "Thank you for letting them come over today anyway."

Mike smiled, "I couldn't ruin your day like that. And Zack knows how to pout better than Lizzie."

Speaking of Hunter, he finally effectively fought from Heather's arms, and dropped to his feet. Running into me, and hugging me. Nearly knocking me over. Nearly four years old now, he was strong for his age. Probably thanks to being raised around brothers much older than himself.

I just laughed, though, and lifted him up.

"What are they feeding you?" I asked him, tickling his stomach. He giggled, squirming.

"Guess what?" He asked me.

"What?" I asked in return, smiling a little at his enthusiasm.

"Lizzie got a shot yesterday." He grinned.

"She had her doctor's appointment yesterday." Heather explained with a small laugh.

I looked to Hunter again, "Aww, I bet that had to hurt."

"She cried." He reported, nodding, "I never cry."

"Sure you do." I replied, "I've seen you do it."

"No." He countered defiantly, but he kept his grin.

"You're such a little liar." I laughed, tickling him again. Another giggle, and he squirmed from my arms. I let him on his feet, and he ran off.

Esme watched after him, smiling and shaking her head. I hugged Esme tight next, smiling.

"Thank you for letting them come over." I repeated, and she laughed.

"It was Jasper's idea." She replied, "But I'm so glad to see you happy."

I had to thank Jasper next, unable to help it. Surprisingly, this wasn't nearly as hard to thank him for than it had been to thank him for abandoning me in that jail cell.

"Happy birthday, sweetheart." Heather was the first to say it, giving me a hug.

"Keep your clothes on, Hunter." Mike seemed to understand what silence from him meant.

"Oh, geez." Josh muttered as if being reminded as well, immediately starting after him. Touching my shoulder as he passed. Moments later, hysterical giggling sounded from down the hall, right as I heard Josh tell him, "Caught ya."

"That boy isn't made for clothes." Heather sighed, shaking her head.

I looked up, smiling a little as Emmett and Rosalie stepped inside, followed by Edward. Bella was probably with Ness and Jake somewhere, avoiding the humans. They'd probably start to wonder about Ness growing so quickly.

"I thought you guys were gone?" I asked, moving to Emmett's side and hugging him.

"Like we'd miss your birthday." Emmett scoffed, "Especially with boys here."

"Uh.." Zack seemed intimidated, despite Emmett's obviously joking tone.

"Just a heads up." Emmett smiled Zack's way as Josh came back into the room, carrying Hunter like a football, "I bought myself a little present."

"And what would that be?" I asked, almost dreading the answer. He turned, reaching behind the couch, before standing upright again. Zack paled and Josh dropped Hunter at the sight of the studded solid steel baseball bat in his hand. Though, it was closer to a club than a bat.

"This." He grinned, "Boys, meet 'Tickles'."

I immediately cracked up, covering my face with my hands, and even Heather had to cover her mouth to keep from laughing.

"I really hope I never have to use it on anyone with ideas." Emmett sighed, studying the bat closely, "I'd hate to dent it."

"Stop." I laughed, taking the bat from Emmett. That damn thing had to have weighed fifty pounds.

"Let me see that thing." Mike chuckled, letting Lizzie down on her feet. I handed it to him, and he immediately grinned as he felt the weight of it and looked it over, "What do you think, Lizzie-baby? Should daddy get one of these?"

Lizzie grinned up at him, obviously not understanding what he meant, but probably making up his mind at the same time. The sight and memory of his daughter smiling at him was one thing that would ensure bloodshed if a father ever were to find out that a boy had hurt his little girl.

"You'll have to tell me where you picked this up." Mike chuckled, handing the bat back to Emmett, and immediately after getting it back, Emmett gave it a couple of fancy practice swings. I knew Emmett would never have to use it, and he probably knew it too. Emmett chuckled, hugging me into his side again. It was worth the look on Zack and Josh's faces for the laugh.

I gave Zack an 'I-told-you-so' look as Rosalie took the bat from Emmett, and gave the boys a pointed look as she ascended the stairs with the bat rested on her shoulder. Humming a tune that sounded eerily like something played at a funeral. It was the hardest thing not to laugh uncontrollably.

Neither Heather nor Mike seemed to mind their obvious threats toward their sons, probably understanding in the fullest.

The day actually went pretty well. I didn't have to get mad once, and Hunter only took off his clothes twice. Not for lack of trying, however. Someone had to constantly go looking and wrangle him.

"Just let him stay naked." I said, patting a bow onto his head as he ran by, "I don't care. He's potty trained, isn't he? So he's not going to pee everywhere."

"It's still not polite." Heather laughed, "I'm trying to break him of that."

"Can't just be letting him run around like some wild child for the rest of his life." Mike added, "Even though I'm pretty sure he'd love it."

Lizzie wanted more cake, given the way she was eyeing it on the table. Hunter had already proved that half a piece was too much for a child, given the way Zack constantly chased him from one side of the room to the other, and how he squealed when he was caught. Running on some awesome sugar high.

Esme watched them, back and forth, probably just to make sure nothing was knocked over. Zack was careful, though. Catching anything that might have rattled, and setting it straight. He must have had a lot of practice.

Josh sat with me most of the time, and as the adults talked, so did we. Heather was talking to Esme about recipes she could make, considering Lizzie was in that picky-eater stage, and Hunter was taking her example. Since neither of the boys ever really went through that, she was at a loss when it came to things she could make. I vaguely heard their conversation from the other end of the couch.

Josh asked about my night in jail, and I admitted all I could to him. Without giving too many details about the fights back here. I told him about what it was like, as detailed as I could, knowing Zack was listening in as well.

"I'd have told that old fart to fuck off." Zack told me.

"Zack." Mike corrected him. He'd overheard, but Zack ignored that, continuing.

"He shouldn't be allowed to talk to you like that."

"I did tell him to fuck off." I said, "But there wasn't a whole lot of space for him to fuck off to, and even less I could do about it."

"Leandra." Esme corrected me, but I ignored her.

"Eh, good point." Zack muttered, holding tighter to a wildly squirming Hunter in his arms, "But still. That's just wrong."

"Tell me about it." I replied with a shudder, "But even though I'm grounded, I'd much rather be here than there or someplace worse. I'm never doing anything like that again."

"Me either." Zack agreed, much to my relief, "Dad told me what could have happened. I don't want that. I'm too pretty for prison." I snorted.

"How long are you grounded for?" Josh asked me.

"No idea." I laughed a little, "Until further notice." He winced.

"That usually means a long time." He murmured, "And that they're pretty pissed."

"I can't blame them." I replied, "Don't you remember what happened that day?"

"Remember?" He asked, laughing a bit, "How could I forget? Sarah still won't talk to me."

"Good." I said without thinking, "You're better off."

He gave me a look, "Don't start on that."

"I know, I know." I grinned, "I just didn't know you were so into animals."

Zack cracked up, "Damn, Leandra. That was mean."

Thankfully, Josh didn't seem too mad about that comment. He shook his head, dropping his face into his palm. I swear, I even heard a few laughs from him, which told me he wasn't as serious about her as she apparently was about him.

I could feel Mikah's gaze on me, but didn't look over. Knowing why he was watching me.

"You are better off, though." I said, "You deserve better."

"Leandra-"

"She treats you like trash." I told him, "Come on."

"She does sort of walk all over you." Zack muttered, finally letting Hunter down onto his feet. Hunter immediately ran off, waiting for someone to chase him.

"Just drop it, guys." Josh murmured, and I sighed, looking to Zack. Zack gave me the same 'I-told-you-so' look I'd given him a bit ago.

"Okay." I sighed reluctantly, "I'll stop."

"Thank you." He replied.

"So Leandra." Zack spoke up again, "When are you getting a boyfriend?" Josh grinned, knowing this subject was just as sensitive for me as Sarah was for Josh.

"Shut up." I said, "Never."

Zack grinned, "But-"

"One more word, and I'll knock your ass out." I snapped at him, and he laughed, covering his head as I slapped his direction. Embarrassment fueled me, and I hated that he brought this up around my family.

"Okay," He laughed, "Okay. Calm down."

"They always do this." Josh muttered to Emmett and Mikah looking curious beside the couch, "Once, I swear she tried to shove Zack into traffic."

"I did not." I gasped, "He tripped off the curb."

"I did trip." Zack defended me, "And she even helped me up, remember?"

"Which time?" Josh asked, chuckling.

"She hits like a girl anyway." Zack laughed as well, and I gave him a look. Was he really challenging me?

I balled my fist and slammed it into his upper arm with a grunt of effort. He immediately fell over, grasping his arm in his hand and laughing between groans of pain.

"Leandra." Esme frowned, not at all happy.

"Dead arm." He laughed, but it was also clear he was hurting as I huffed in satisfaction.

"That was stupid." Josh laughed at his misfortune, "Zack, how many times do you have to learn? Don't say stuff like that to her." He sat up, lifting his sleeve and looking over the reddened skin, already forming a bruise under a knot.

"I taught you better than that." Mike added from the side, "Never underestimate a woman, son. Many times, they've got brains and the strength to take you down if they have to." Heather laughed beside him, "And if she doesn't, 'Tickles' and her brothers will take care of the problem for her."

"With pleasure." Emmett grinned.

"Noted." Zack laughed, letting his sleeve fall.

By the time they had to leave, Hunter was out cold in Mike's arms, crashed hard from his sugar high. Lizzy wasn't far off. Nothing had gone wrong, and 'Tickles' stayed upstairs.

I made sure to thank both Heather and Mike again for letting them come over for the afternoon. I knew it wasn't much, but to me, it made the day better.

"Really?" I demanded as soon as they left, looking to Emmett, "'Tickles'?"

"Sorry." He said, "They needed a reminder of why they need to keep their mitts off you."

"They'd never do anything." I replied, sitting back down, "And even if they tried, I wouldn't need some stupid bat to save me."

"'Tickles' isn't stupid." Emmett muttered, jokingly offended.

"Epic name, by the way." I had to admit, and he chuckled.

"I thought it was clever." He grinned.

So far, tonight was going far better than the last few nights had gone. I didn't feel like dying on the floor, and I wasn't mean. I was in a fairly good mood, and I really didn't want anything to ruin that.

"I hope you were paying attention, bro." Emmett looked to Mikah, "Tickles isn't picky."

"I don't think you have anything to worry about." I laughed at the look on Mikah's face, despite how Mikah and I both knew a baseball bat wouldn't do anything to him, "I plan to be single for the rest of my life."

"I think she means that." Emmett muttered, now sadly to Mikah, "Tough break."

"Stop it." I muttered, "I hate this subject. It's a stupid subject."

"Fair enough." Emmett replied, "I'm just saying, you shouldn't have to be alone for the rest of your life just because of Jack-ass and his dad."

I didn't know what to say to that. Eventually spluttering out, "That's not why." I didn't even really know the real reason why, so that could very well have been it, "I just don't want that sort of thing in my life. Not ever."

"A guy, you mean." Emmett pointed out.

"I guess." I shrugged.

"There are always friends with benefits." He grinned.

"Ew." I muttered, frowning, "I see no benefit." I wasn't stupid. I knew all about those kinds of things.

"Oh boy." Emmett chuckled, "Are you misled." I glared at him.

"I vote we change the subject." Mikah spoke up, "The last thing we need is another argument."

"I second that." Jasper added. I bit back my retort to Emmett, shaking my head and looking down. I gratefully accepted the notion of a subject change, not wanting to continue on with that one. I only wanted simple, stupid conversation.

"That subject is inappropriate, anyway." Esme spoke up, taking my attention to her.

"She's fourteen now." Emmett reasoned, "She's gonna get curious."

"I have absolutely no reason to be curious." I muttered defensively, "I know plenty, and all that I don't know, I don't want to know, so butt out, would you?"

"And I personally can't blame her." Alice told him, "So yes. Butt out."

"Okay, okay." He said, "I'll let it go for now, but I'm not letting it go for good."

"Well you can hold onto whatever you want for as long as you want to hold onto it." I said, standing up, "Just don't bother me with it."

I stood there, staring up at him with a defiant look. I needed him to agree. He smirked back at me, obviously amused. Eventually, however, I couldn't keep my straight face any longer, and had to laugh a little.

"Don't give me that look." I said.

"Don't give me that look." He repeated, laughing a little, "Remember, shorty. You're still smaller than me."

"I don't care." I sniffed, "It's just more of a challenge that way." That got more of a laugh from him.

"Oh boy." He said again, shaking his head through his laughter.

"Come on." Mikah chuckled, stepping forward. He took my hand, and led me toward the porch. I didn't mind following him.

"Don't take her far." Alice called after us, "Remember, she's still grounded."

"Yeah, yeah." I grumbled, letting him lead me out onto the porch. It was pouring rain again anyway, so I was perfectly fine with staying close. And dry.

"We need to move somewhere that it doesn't rain every damn day." I mused, stopping on the edge of the porch, "Somewhere far away from here. Where it could be sunny all it wanted, and nobody would be around to lose their minds. Somewhere calm, and quiet. Where nobody can find us."

"Maybe someday." Mikah chuckled, stepping up behind me. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, hugging me. I didn't mind that.

"Do you ever think about what it'd be like?" I asked quietly, "To just live without so much crap to worry about?"

"All the time." He murmured, "But it's not me I worry about."

"Why can't Aro and Jack just kill each other off already?" I mumbled, "Then it'd be fine."

"I don't think it works that way, princess."

"Well, it needs to." I sighed, "It'd make my life so much easier."

"I know." He sighed in return, his tone holding sadness now. Hugging me tighter, he pressed a light, lingering kiss to the back of my head.

"I saw what you meant." Mikah murmured after a moment, "Today. With the boys. We all saw what you meant."

"It's just.." I smiled a little, "It's different with them."

"The family doesn't get much chance to see you interact with them." He pointed out, "So I guess they just didn't understand before."

"I know." I replied honestly, "It's one of those 'have to be there' things. I don't blame them for not knowing before. I think they still see me as a kid, though."

"That's hard not to do." He told me quietly, "You've grown so much. It's hard for them not to remember you as some terrified nine year old, or some timidly smart-mouthed ten year old."

I smiled a little, "I've made it pretty far, haven't I?"

"You have." He agreed, smiling also, "And you grow more beautiful every day."

My smile faded slowly, and I bit my lip. I wished he wouldn't tell me that. It was getting harder to play it off.

I slowly turned to face him. As if the meaning of what he meant would be written across his face. He read the expression in my eyes seemingly so easily. Just one glance was all he needed, really, because the second my eyes met his, he smiled. Obviously trying to ease me.

"You know I was kidding." I told him, my tone quiet. I knew he knew what I meant.

"Not entirely." He replied gently, "You weren't entirely kidding. I know that." His eyes were the softest I'd ever seen them, and just like before, the mood softened from tense or joking, to something different, but it made it hard for me to breathe. Especially as he brought his hand up, softly smoothing over my cheek until my cheek rested in his palm.

I didn't know what to say to that. I didn't bother to deny it, because he knew me better than that.

I could feel it. The moment was getting too close for my comfort. I could see it, the exact moment I needed to move. To joke, and to play it off, but most importantly to get away. His eyes softened even more, and my heart skipped a beat as he started to lean in. The first movement from him, caused an instant countering movement from me.

I forced myself back a step, shaking my head a little. He read how tense I was easily. I hated how vulnerable I must have seemed right then, but I couldn't change that. Normally, it was easy to hide that, but not tonight, and not from him.

"What are you doing?" I asked quietly, "No. Weren't you listening before?" I wasn't expecting an answer, because I already knew what he'd been trying to do. I wasn't having that, but I felt bad suddenly. It wasn't his fault I was such a chicken.

"I don't want everything to change." I mumbled, shaking my head a little more. Why did I feel like I needed to give him an explanation? Maybe because he might have thought I was afraid of him. I didn't want him to think that. I wasn't afraid of him. I was afraid of kissing him. Of kissing anyone.

"Okay." He told me, his tone gentle and his soft smile patient, "It's okay." Hesitantly now, I moved back to him, closer to him. He pressed a kiss to the top of my head, and I closed my eyes as he wrapped his arms around me.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, and I felt him shake his head.

"No need." He told me softly, "There's no need to be sorry. No need at all. It's not about rushing." I took a trembling breath, and he looked down at me, "You're shaking."

"Don't try to do that." I requested quietly, "Please." He sighed a little, but I knew he wasn't mad.

"It's okay, princess." He told me, holding me tighter.

"You're my best friend." I whimpered, "Don't ruin that. Please don't ruin that. Don't do that."

I wasn't sure what had me so scared. It was easy to just slap Josh each time he'd try, but with Mikah, it was different. I let him see the scared part of me, but whether it was Mikah or Josh that tried to kiss me, it scared me just as much.

I was afraid of change, but there was something more there. Something I highly doubted I'd ever get passed.

It was a kiss that changed my life forever. It was a kiss that made me finally run from everything I ever knew. A forceful kiss that never should have happened. Though everything had turned out for the best, I couldn't get passed the choking fear I felt when someone got too close like that. Even Josh. Even Mikah. It panicked me in a way that choked my breath off, and I didn't like that.

It was becoming painfully clear that Mikah didn't know about that part about my original rescue. He didn't know about what Ken had done to make me run.

"Can I know what it is?" Mikah asked, confirming my thoughts, "What scares you most?"

Instead of answering, I forcefully sniffled to clear my eyes of tears, and stepped back.

"I'm not scared." I told him defensively, "I told you. I just don't want you messing everything up. That's all."

"Yeah, Mikah." I jumped, turning at the sound of a very familiar voice across the yard, "Don't go messing everything up now."

I had to grin, unable to help it, "Cole."

Cole and Dess, along with five of their members in tow stepped from the trees, coming to stand in the yard.

"My." Cole chuckled as he looked me over, "You just keep growing. More beautiful every time I see you, darling."

"Emmett has a bat." I replied, "We're good."

"I'm sure he'll be getting some use out of it." Cole smiled.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, hesitantly stepping down the steps. Almost instantly getting drenched again in the pouring rain.

"You wanted peace of mind." Alice's voice had me turning to look back at her in the doorway, "Well, there are many ways to achieve that."

"Oh, so I'm the other way?" Eli's voice off to the side had me laughing a little, "Geez, I thought those humans would never leave." He stood there with five of his own coven members. They seemed more uncomfortable than Eli seemed, which wasn't a surprise. They were always like that.

"You guys too?" I had to ask.

"I've never been a birthday present before." Eli mused, suddenly beside me, "I didn't even get to jump out of a giant cake."

"Next time." I assured him, and he grinned. I noticed something new immediately, "Your eyes." They were closer to gold now than the crimson they were the last time I saw him.

"I gave in to peer pressure." He admitted almost regretfully, "Those cousins of yours are a terrible influence."

Mikah descended the steps, coming to my other side. No doubt nervous about Eli's still-transitioning state.

"I heard that." Kate's voice next had my head spinning, "Don't make me bury you, boy."

"She scares me." Eli whispered to me, looking over his shoulder.

"She scares all of us." I replied with a little laugh.

"Happy birthday, sweetie." Tanya was suddenly hugging me. Carmen waiting in line to hug me next.

Carlisle joined us in the yard. I couldn't remove the smile from my face, watching as he greeted Eleazar and Garrett, who'd stuck around.

"I just can't believe you guys came back." I laughed a little. I decided to back up, standing now on the bottom step to the porch. Just under the overhang of the upper floors.

"Like we'd say no to a request like that." Dess spoke up, "Especially on your birthday of all days."

"Maybe we'd ruin Christmas, but not your birthday." Cole added, and received a slap on the arm as a result.

"Do you feel better?" Alice asked from my right, and I looked to her. I laughed a little, hugging her.

"A lot." I admitted, "Thank you."

I wasn't stupid. I knew they wouldn't stay forever, but for right then, I was glad everyone was there. Not to mention how much I'd actually grown to consider them good friends. I was actually very happy to see them. Not just for protection, though it eased me quite a bit, knowing that for at least tonight, we were okay.

For at least one night, we would be okay.

For right then, however, I had one more thing I needed to do. It'd been on my mind all day, and I needed to bring it up. The dream I'd had the night before. I thought right then was a good time to talk to her about it.

"Can I talk to you?" I asked, looking to Alice again.

"Of course." She replied, giving a glance around. I knew the others had heard as well, given the way both Jasper and Mikah looked to me. She pointed to them, "Stay."

She probably thought it was about boys. I wouldn't have minded if they'd come along. I actually preferred it, but I didn't feel like correcting her. She took my hand, and led me up the porch steps. I followed her easily, thinking heavily about where to start once we got inside.

I just went with the one thing I felt like doing. Stopping in the kitchen and hugging her. Appreciation bringing more tears to my suddenly overflowing eyes.

"What is it?" Alice asked, obviously worried as she returned the hug. I felt so stupid for just holding onto her and crying like a baby, but I couldn't help it, "Leandra?"

"I'm sorry." I cried, but I couldn't let go yet. She was still a little taller than me, by a few inches, but that didn't stop me from hugging her with as much strength as I could manage.

"Leandra, are you okay?" She asked, more concerned than before.

"No." I sobbed quietly, "I'm so stupid." Before she could ask, I decided to try to explain, "Thank you. For the jacket."

That seemed to help her understand what I was referring to. The dream I'd had, reminding me of my first few days actually knowing her, had stuck with me the entire day. Something I couldn't ever afford to forget again.

She sighed, her tension easing immediately.

"You scared me." She admitted, letting me hold onto her, "It's okay."

"You don't know what that meant to me." I shook my head a little, "You have no idea."

"I think I can imagine." She murmured, finally pulling back, "Can I tell you something?" I stood there, waiting for her to continue. She led me over to the seats at the counter, sitting me down and sitting with me.

"I've never told you this before, because I was afraid you'd be embarrassed, or mad at me." I doubted there was any way I could be mad at her, "I was there."

I didn't quite understand.

"When I first.." She trailed off, and I could tell this was hard for her to say, "When I first met you, I couldn't stay away. I knew there was something about you that I couldn't let go. More than just how obviously abused you were."

I nodded a little, glancing over as Jasper and Carlisle both stepped slowly into the room. Carlisle probably wanted to be here in case I did get upset over whatever it was she was telling me. He'd been there practically from the beginning as well. All three of them had.

"Then," Alice continued, "When I heard about what Edward told me about you, that only got stronger. I spoke to Carlisle about it, but he was hesitant about getting involved."

"He didn't believe you?" I asked. I wasn't mad. Just curious. I never really heard many details about how everything happened, surprisingly. I mainly only knew my side of it.

"He.." She hesitated, "He was concerned about what us getting involved would do to our safety here. Especially with Edward already so fascinated with Bella, but I couldn't just forget about what I saw that day. You did a good job of hiding the bruises. From the humans, but not from me."

"Or me." Jasper added quietly, and I glanced to him before looking back to Alice.

"I tried to forget. I tried all afternoon, but no matter what, I just couldn't. I had to make Carlisle see, too, because I knew he'd know what to do. Jazz and Edward saw more than I saw, which really says something. They agreed with me to a point."

I glanced to Jasper again, waiting there quietly as she continued on with her story.

"Carlisle only wanted to be careful." Alice explained, "I did go a little crazy over that. Knowing you were stuck there, and knowing I couldn't do anything about it. I had to have Carlisle's okay, and to get that, I needed him to see that I knew what I was talking about, without giving any details. He had to see for himself."

I nodded again, letting her know I was still listening.

"Well, without his okay, there wasn't much I could do about it. So I did the only thing I could. I called that night, and I knew from the way Jack spoke to me that he was angry. That worried me, so.."

With a sinking heart, I understood where this was going. I understood what she was getting at with this story. I looked down as she continued.

"I immediately went to you. I was there that first night."

"You heard everything." I pieced it together. The fight with Jack. Everything afterwards, and more than likely my cries. I closed my eyes in embarrassment, but I still wasn't angry. I wasn't mad at her for showing up. Why would she think I would be?

"That's how you knew for sure." I mumbled, and I vaguely noticed her nod, "That's what made you so sure I needed your help."

"I wanted to stop it." She explained, probably thinking my quiet tone meant that I was mad, "So badly, I wanted to rush in there, and rip his head off. But I knew that if I were to have done that, you'd have been so afraid of us, there's no way we'd have gotten very far with you."

She was right. I knew that.

"And I knew I couldn't just tell you everything. I wanted to, but I was afraid that'd just push you away."

Wow. I hadn't been expecting that.

"So I was there again." She continued, "The next night. The night after your mother left."

I hesitated, thinking.

"Leandra, is was my fault." She told me, and I looked up again, "I was the one that called your mother's brother. I told him that she needed help, and even offered to pay him to come and pick her up. Apparently, she hadn't spoken to him in over eight years. The last he heard of you, or her, you were six months old." I looked down again. This was very difficult to hear, "I honestly didn't think she'd come back. I guess she didn't understand that you were taken care of."

"Okay, so.." I frowned a little, trying to understand, "The day of the field trip, is the first night that you were there."

"Yes." She replied quietly, "Because I wanted to see for myself what was going on. That night proved that something was very wrong."

"Then you were there the next morning." I murmured, and she nodded again.

"Yes." She repeated, "And when I saw what I saw that morning, I had to do something. I didn't know your mother's side of things before. That just made everything so much worse. The first time Carlisle met you, officially for the first time, he really got to see why I couldn't just give up on you, so Carlisle was more concerned with getting you out of there at that point, but I wanted to do what I could for your mother as well. So I looked into it, and found a way to get her out. I wasn't thinking straight, obviously, and I'm sorry for how that worked out.

"I came back that night, to find he'd gone back on what he told you. He wasn't trying at all. It made me so mad to know he hurt you again that night."

"It was all I could do to keep her from going in there." Jasper admitted, and I looked to him, "As much as I wanted to myself, I couldn't let her do that."

"You were there that time?" I asked, a little more embarrassed than before.

"She wanted someone else on her side." Jasper explained, "To urge Carlisle to do more for you. Carlisle wouldn't come himself, as he wanted to do it the right way, but I couldn't let Alice go back there alone. Not knowing how much the first night had upset her."

I nodded, fully understanding.

"And after that?" I asked with a deep breath.

"The next day." She said, "When Carlisle and I got there, and you were gone, I didn't know what to think. I was very worried, until we returned that afternoon to find you covered in ash."

"Right." I said, "I was burning trash that day. I was hoping to get on Jack's good side. Especially after he seemed so mad the night before."

She sighed, "And then we found out he was taking you away."

"He was mad, I think." I murmured, "About the phone call, and especially after having to pick me up from the school. He was paranoid that somebody had noticed me, and wanted to get me out of town. He told me the morning he took me to buy some clothes that I needed to make you forget my name. That's what makes me think he got nervous."

"That's exactly what it was." She replied.

"But I couldn't do that." I admitted, "As much as I wanted to avoid trouble with him, I couldn't. I needed to find out what made you so special. I knew that if I were to listen to him, I'd lose my chance. I knew then that I'd already missed one chance, I guess, and I wasn't willing to miss that one. That's what made me agree to go with you. To let you bring me here. I _had_ to know."

She nodded, and I took a breath, "But I got scared. I knew something was wrong. I just knew that you somehow knew, and telling me that you knew only scared me more. I was also so worried that he'd get home early, and find me gone. If that had happened, I was done for, because he'd demand to know where I was. If I lied, or didn't tell him, he'd just beat the answer out of me. And I couldn't lie to him. He'd know. He always knew."

"I understood perfectly." She murmured, "And I tried to show you. I wanted so badly for you to see that you were okay here."

"I wasn't as nervous about everyone here, as I was about Jack finding out about where I was." I explained, "Even if Emmett did scare the living hell out of me."

"Well, it's no wonder." I jumped a little at Emmett's voice suddenly behind me, "You were tiny." He leaned against the chair I sat in, and I couldn't help smiling a little.

"You could have smashed me." I reasoned, "Without even trying. I knew you all could, and at that point, I didn't know why I'd ever trust strangers. I was so confused, and the only thing I could think of to do, was to lessen any punishment I'd get by getting back as soon as I could."

Alice nodded, "The most frustrating thing in the world was how I had to let you go back."

I stayed quiet for a moment.

"I just couldn't figure out why you cared so much." I admitted, laughing quietly, "I mean, I was just this.. Little thing that nobody ever saw, and suddenly, I was noticed. To me, I was convinced that all I'd known up until then was all life had to offer, and that I really didn't deserve much else. Much less the kindness you'd shown me since I'd known you. That completely mixed me up. I just didn't know how to handle it, I guess. So I fought it instead."

"It was a huge change, Leandra." Jasper pointed out quietly, "And it was happening so fast. That was bound to scare anyone."

"I just couldn't believe it." I explained, "Like it was just too good to be true. I didn't want to get my hopes up. I couldn't handle being let down. Especially when I knew at that point just how stupid it would be to let myself hope again. I'd been let down before. On the rare occasion when someone would look closer, they'd just call Jack and ask about it. He'd tell them some lie, they'd believe him, and that was that. For them.

"I guess they were just so scared of poking their nose in where it didn't belong, but I was the one that always dealt with the consequences of their apprehensiveness. I'd get beaten because they looked close enough to decide to call."

"That explains why you were so nervous, shorty." Emmett muttered behind me.

"The first time that happened, I was five. The second time, I was six." I continued, "After that, I learned to notice when they noticed, and did what I could to keep them from getting worried enough to call."

"That didn't work with me." Alice pointed out.

"I don't think anything would have worked with you." I replied, "Especially not with Edward around. I mean, hell. I didn't know then that I had to keep myself from thinking too much. He had to have seen everything with how fast my thoughts were racing."

"I wasn't about to give up." Alice murmured, "Even if he hadn't seen so much."

"That night." I looked to her, "The night he took me to California. I knew someone was outside. I just knew it, and I was about to look, but I heard Jack coming, so I didn't. I just laid back down."

"I heard, too." She admitted, "We were right outside then too, Leandra."

I remembered that scene perfectly. The surprise I felt when he only woke me up. When he only told me that it was time to go. He was so calm then. Following him out to the truck, and being hauled up into it impatiently by my sweater when I slipped. They'd seen all of that happen.

"I hated watching him leave with you." She continued, "Especially not knowing where he was taking you. I couldn't stay there, but I knew he'd taken you to California."

"You knew where I was the whole time." I murmured, surprised. I hadn't thought she would follow.

"Jazz tried to talk me out of going." She admitted, "But I couldn't just let it go, so I trailed you. I followed you that entire night. I stayed with you as long as I could the next day without being seen."

This was so hard to process. She had been there from the beginning. Somehow, that made me want to cry again. Alice's dedication went that far?

"Wow." I sighed, stunned.

"I'm sorry I never told you sooner." She told me, and I heard how true those words were.

"Why would I be mad at you?" I asked quietly.

"Because I never stopped it." She replied, and I heard how much this was bothering her, "I never went in and killed him when I had the chance."

"You know why you couldn't do that." I reasoned, "And so do I. Not only would it have gone against everything Carlisle works for, even if Jack couldn't have been considered human, but like you pointed out. It probably would have freaked me out, because that was back before I fully trusted you. I'm not mad at you. I'm not mad at any of you. I mean, how can I be? If you'd done that, who knows where I would have ended up? Who knows what that would have changed?"

"I could have-"

"You could have done a lot of things." I murmured, "But I'm not disappointed in the way it turned out, and knowing you were there that whole time helps now. I am sorry you had to be there for that, though. That couldn't have been very easy."

That seemed to ease her.

"I'm sorry." I continued, "I know I should have trusted you from the start, and I know I should have listened to my instinct, but it was so hard to. Jack was all I knew at that point, and going against anything he told me was just something I had to work at, I guess, and you can't imagine how hard it was for me to run away that day. Especially with him standing right there, telling me to get my ass over to him.

"But there was a reason you waited." I continued, "You had to let me take that step on my own. I see that now. How could I be mad about that? There's only so much you can do to help when I'm resisting you every step of the way."

I had to hug her again, which she returned tightly.

"But you never gave up. I've been such a jerk lately." I whimpered, "I guess for awhile now I've just been forgetting how it all started. So busy with everything else that it's hard to remember how much everything's changed, but thank you for finally telling me. I needed to know this."

"Thank you for letting me explain." She replied, sitting back. I looked down as I sat back as well. She seemed to notice, "Something is still bothering you."

"I wish I wasn't in your way." I admitted.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"Something's going to happen." I explained, "I know it, and nobody believes me. Maybe it's not about Jack. Maybe it's not about anything we can anticipate, but something's going to happen soon. I can feel it, and I'm scared."

"You still haven't had a vision?" Alice asked, and I shook my head.

"The closest I've come to having a vision, was what Aro made me see." I explained, "I think maybe he screwed me up. I didn't have a chance to work on it on my own before he showed up." I looked up, watching as Mikah slowly stepped into the room, "But I know it. I think I need to go somewhere else, and decide to stay there for awhile. Just so you might be able to see."

"And what if it's not us you need to be worried about?" Alice asked, "What if it's yourself? I still wouldn't see what would happen regarding you. If you feel you need to be worried, then I'd feel safest keeping you here where we can watch out for you."

"Good point." I sighed, "But then how are we supposed to know?"

"Well.." She sighed in return, "We could always work with you. I could help you work on your gift."

"I've tried all the ways I know how." I reasoned, shaking my head a little, "It just doesn't work. Last time, Jasper worked with me a little bit because when I was starting to get it, it was really emotion based. I just had to figure out what my emotions were telling me to be worried about. He explained it like.. Like one situation would give me a different set of emotions than another. A different kind of worry, like the difference between nervousness and panic, but I just can't tell this time. There isn't as much distinction, and it all just blends in with everything else."

Alice sighed again with another frown, obviously thinking.

"The only thing I can think of, is a.." I hesitated, "Sort of half solution, but I'd rather be sand-blasted with flaming shards of glass than go that direction."

"Ouch." Emmett cringed behind me.

"What solution?" Alice asked me, seeming hesitant herself.

"There's one sure way.." I paused, "The only sure way I know of to have a vision. Without even really having to try."

"Aro." Mikah understood and seemed surprised. I looked down.

"I'm scared, but not desperate enough to put up with that." I muttered, "I don't care what happens to me."

"This could be something important, shorty." Emmett told me, "If it's bothering you enough to bring _him_ up, then don't you think it's worth a try?"

"I can't _stand_ him." I murmured, looking back at him.

"None of us can." Alice murmured, "But with him, you can see anything you want to see."

"No, it's anything _he_ wants to see." I corrected, "I'd have to convince him to want to see what I need to see. My ability becomes his ability, remember? Not the other way around. I have no control when it comes to him."

"Is that why you hate him?" Mikah asked, and I hesitated, "Well, besides the fact that he tried to kill you just because he wanted to act like a spoiled five year old."

"Okay, now I'm starting to get a little bugged by how much Edward decides not to tell you guys." I sighed, "There's more to why I hate him than you know right now. I just want to leave it at that."

Alice sighed, "In that case, we'll just have to be prepared for anything then."

I sighed as well, "I wish I could just forget about all that. Just so I can just grit my teeth, see what I need to see, and get it over with."

"We all have our limits, Leandra." Jasper assured me.

"We'll just be on our toes, shorty." Emmett added from behind me.

"It's probably nothing." Alice offered, "Just try not to worry too much about it."

"I'll try." I replied, "But there's not much I can do about the whole worrying thing. I thought it might have just been about the whole jail thing, but it hasn't gone away. It's only gotten worse."

"It certainly explains why you insisted on bringing everyone back here." Jasper pointed out, "I can't blame you for that. Not in the least."

"Thanks." I sighed, "I know it's stupid, but I just want to be prepared for anything. I don't know what it is, and that's what's bugging me the most."

"Well, whatever it is, we're more than ready for it now." Emmett told me, "I don't think they're going anywhere anytime soon. Just like old times." I laughed a little, looking down.

"Now." Emmett continued, "How many spankings? Fourteen? One to grow on?"

"Oh, hell no." I laughed, darting up. I squeezed passed Mikah and Jasper, listening to Emmett follow. Of course giving me my head start.

We were circling the couch when Edward returned, with Ness and Bella in tow.

I didn't let that distract me from running, though. Up the stairs, back down the stairs, back around the couch and back toward the kitchen. I was getting tired.

I found Mikah seated in the chair I'd been sitting in previously, now talking to Alice himself, so I darted forward and hopped up, my butt landing on his lap.

"Ha." I barked at Emmett as Mikah put his arms around me so I wouldn't fall off, "Not today, mister."

"What makes you so certain you're safe from birthday spankings with me?" Mikah asked, and I looked to him.

"You wouldn't _dare_." I told him, but his grin told me he would.

"You get to sleep outside." I called to Mikah as I darted from him, only to get caught by Emmett in the living room.

All in all, I had to say that my birthday had been a good one this year. There wasn't a single thing that had gone wrong, and all my thoughts the night before had probably been in preparation for that.

It was such a relief to start this year off on the right foot, but nervousness I felt never disappeared. I decided then that I'd worry about it when whatever it was that happened happened. I wouldn't let what if's ruin my night.

A change was coming. I knew that much, but I couldn't fight it until it came.

**A/N: I know this got a little long, but I needed to put that scene with Alice in there. I just had to. It was the perfect opportunity.  
THANK YOU to those that reviewed chapter two. I know it wasn't an easy one. Believe me lol those kinds of chapters aren't easy. Especially ones with that much emotion, as it's difficult to put words to the emotions without feeling those emotions myself. Where's Jasper when I need him?**  
**Anyhoo. Chapter four is written out, but I won't give many details on that. It's a s'prise. **  
**Until Four, my friends! :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**SiDE NOTE!: I'm not condoning the use of the product (err.. substance? I don't even know what to call it) mentioned in this chapter. I just thought I'd point that out. I am _not_ telling you to go out and do it. So don't do it! Leandra is bad. Bad. Shame. I'm c****overing my bases here. Okay? Okay.****  
**

******ImPORTANT NOTE!: Lots of bad language (swearing) and a few mentions of adult themes in this chapter. Heads up. Not a whole lot, but enough to warrant this note. So beware.**

**Chapter Four**

"You fucking cheated." I snapped at Mikah across the table. Eli, beside him, started laughing.

"Leandra, you say that word one more time, I'm going to wash your mouth out with soap." I bit my lip at Esme's call from the kitchen. She'd been losing her patience with my language a lot lately, considering we still had plenty of company over a week later that could hear every word I said from outside.

"Sorry, mom." I called back, unable to help laughing a little. Most of the time, I never even noticed when I said it.

"As far as I know," She stood in the doorway now, "You've never been in the military, so there's no need to swear like a sailor."

"I think she's worse." Eli pointed out, and I swung a pillow at his head.

"I told you, Leandra." Mikah chuckled, "I'm unbeatable at poker. I don't need to cheat."

"Oh, _really_?" Emmett caught that brag this time, suddenly coming to stand beside me, "Move over, shorty. I'll show you how it's done."

"A hundred bucks on Emmett." Jasper joined us, and I grinned. Mikah still seemed confident, but Eli dropped out. I stood up from where I kneeled on the floor between the couch and coffee table, and easily relinquished my area to Emmett as he parked himself on the couch. Sliding the table closer with one quick yank.

"Kick his ass." I told him.

"Leandra." Esme warned from the kitchen.

"What?" I asked, "I didn't say 'fuck'. You only said not to say that word. Not any of the others."

Emmett chuckled, shaking his head and shuffling the cards as Jasper pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Don't cuss anymore." She was back in the doorway, "I mean it, young lady."

"But I'm not a lady." I replied, climbing up and sitting on the back of the couch behind where Emmett sat, "I thought we established that."

She sighed, "The least you can do is act like one while you're home."

"I'll try." I replied doubtfully, "But no promises." I grinned innocently her direction. She pointed to me, giving me a look before she returned to the kitchen where she was preparing dinner.

"Cut it out, Leandra." Mikah chuckled.

"What?"

"You've been very difficult lately." He replied, and I shrugged.

"I'm a difficult person." I countered, "Why is this suddenly news to anyone?"

Eli and I watched the game. I leaned over Emmett's shoulder, Eli peered over Mikah's. We had to have trash talked more than either of the ones playing, but it was more in fun than anything. I was also careful about what words I let loose, though. I didn't particularly feel like tasting soap.

I might have been difficult, but I could cooperate. I was capable of that. If my cussing really bothered Esme that badly, I didn't _want_ to keep doing it, so I traded words, or cut myself off a lot. 'Damn' for 'Dang', and all that happy crap.

Now and then, Jasper looked to me from his seat in the chair beside the couch. I tried to ignore that, as that had been a common occurrence since my little outburst a week before. That was nothing new.

Nobody had found a single scent out of place yet, and I reluctantly took that news each day as a good thing. I still didn't know what to expect and that made me edgy.

I gave up watching the card game after several hands. My attention taken by dinner. I got through eating dinner in silence, but Esme kept me company the whole time, just like she always did. I thought hard as I sat there, silent but a lot going on in my head.

I eventually was given a bit of ice cream for dessert, which I didn't mind too much, but I stirred it into pudding distractedly.

"Do you think I'm a pain?" I eventually asked, looking to Esme.

"No." She replied with a small laugh, "I think you're difficult sometimes, but you're never a pain."

"I'm really sorry about the whole cussing thing." I told her, lifting my glass of water, "Most of the time, I don't even notice I say those things." I frowned, looking at my glass, "It peed on me."

I knew it was only condensation on the outside of the glass, but it had dripped onto my jeans.

"That's because you got so used to saying them." She explained, "Habits like that are hard to break." She handed me a paper towel, and I wiped up the dribbles of water.

"I know you've got it in you to be good." She continued, "You're a good kid, Leandra. I've seen it. Every time I look at you, I see it. All this cussing is nothing compared to that."

"Does that mean I can cuss?" I smiled.

"No." She laughed, "I did mean what I said."

I smiled a little and looked down. I fell quiet, and I knew she noticed the way my smile faded. I couldn't help it. Something was on my mind, and I knew I had to come out with it before I'd even have a chance to feel better about it.

"What is it, honey?" She asked, and I glanced up.

"I'm not such a good person." I told her honestly, "I guess some of the things I've done are bugging me lately."

"Like what?" She asked, concerned now.

"Well.." I sighed. I suddenly felt the need to confess. I mean, she was such an awesome mom, and I at least owed her that much, "The last time Zack and I stole something, at the mall, that wasn't the only time."

"I'll be honest." She said, "I already knew that."

"You did?" I asked, looking up.

"I did." She nodded a little, "I've known for quite some time, sweetie, but I am glad you decided to come forward about it."

"There's more." I said, "But don't worry. I haven't killed anyone, or done anything that could really get me killed or hurt. I saved that for last time. Last time I was thirteen, there wasn't a da-" I cut myself off, "A _thing_ I didn't get into." She caught that correction, and smiled a little, "So I guess this time I didn't have to try everything like that."

"I'm listening." She murmured supportively, "I just want to know what you've done this time."

"I've gotten drunk once. I didn't like the way it felt, so I haven't touched the stuff since." She didn't like that confession, but she didn't say anything. Letting me continue, "I smoke. Once or twice every few months. When things get too hard for me to deal with, Josh has a friend that can get us a cigarette. Or.. Otherwise.."

"Otherwise?" She asked, obviously very interested in that.

I sighed, "_Otherwise_." I knew she knew what I was talking about. What else could I possibly smoke that didn't immediately get me hopelessly hooked on it? Of course, I was talking about a plant.

"Oh, honey." She sighed heavily.

"I like it." I defended it, "It makes everything just.. Stop for awhile." I smiled just thinking about it, "I don't have to think, and the stupidest things get funny. Like.. Really funny. For no reason, I can just laugh and laugh. That's why I like it."

She sighed, obviously still not approving, but she wasn't going to continue scolding me.

"Well, that, and I can't get addicted to it. It's just a way to calm me down, and for a few hours, I don't have to be so wound up."

"Please tell me you were at least smart about it."

"What do you mean?" I asked, frowning a little until I understood, "Oh, no. Don't worry about that. This friend of his.. He's a good guy, and Josh was with me the _entire_ time. Truthfully, the only bad decision I made with that stuff, was pizza right after ice cream."

"How many times?"

"Four." I answered, "No, five. But the last time was just one hit."

That seemed to ease her a little.

"That's the worst I've done." I told her, "But to be fair, I felt way worse while I was drunk. Being drunk makes you feel like puking your guts out. This stuff numbs everything. Bad emotions, tension, and physical pain all just.. Gone. How is that a bad thing?"

"Let's not get into that." She murmured, "You're sure that's the worst?"

"The very worst." I replied truthfully, "I swear, and I only do it when I can't handle anything anymore, and I _really_ need a break."

"How many cigarettes?" She asked.

"Oh, about four." I said, "Total. Like I said, it's only one every couple of months."

"That's still too many."

"I know." I murmured, looking down.

"I'll be talking with Carlisle about this."

"I expected that." I replied, "It's okay."

I actually really admired the way she could be firm without yelling. How she could get her point across without raising her tone at all. When Jasper or Alice were upset, they gave in to raising their voices when it came to arguing with me. Esme didn't argue. She not only put her foot down, leaving very little room for arguing, but she did it in a way that left no doubt that she cared.

She'd always been that way. I'd seen it many times when she had to talk to the others, and on the rare occasion I got caught screwing up. She loved all of us, and only scolded when she had to. Never missing a beat, she was right on it every time. In my honest opinion, that was what made her the best mom.

"Honey," She spoke up, bringing my attention back to her, "Why would you even consider things like that?"

"I've just.." I sighed, "I've been _so_ stressed out the last year or so, and it's just been getting to be too much."

"About Jack?"

"It's about _more_ than that, mom." I paused, catching that word only after it slipped out. I didn't address it, and certainly didn't try to fix it. I just continued, "It's about.. Just everything. It's not as simple as pointing out what it's about. There are _so_ many things wrong with everything I'm worried about, it just keeps adding up and adding up, until there's no room for anything anymore, and I can't take it.

"So I tried getting drunk, but that just made it way worse. Falling over wasn't a good way to get over being stressed or depressed. So I tried having a cigarette, which did help a little, but I knew I couldn't keep that up. Not without everyone losing their minds about it.

"That's why I tried it the last thing. That's why I liked it. With that stuff, it clears everything out. It gives me a chance to breathe, and to relax without feeling suffocated. Without it, I get mean, and I get snappy, and I get _so_ depressed. I just get so stressed out, I can't tell you how tempted I am sometimes to just.. To just _jump_ off the nearest cliff, and hope to God nobody saves me."

I hadn't meant to admit that much to her. I took a breath, trying to calm down. I glanced up, expecting to see how angry she was. Instead, sadness covered her gaze, and I hated that I'd hurt her like that.

"There's _so_ much that I don't even know how to begin to explain." I murmured, "And it's like this every. Day. When it just gets to be too much, is when I talk to Josh about visiting his friend. A-And it's not Josh's fault. Please don't blame him. He was only trying to help me. He just saw how stressed out I was one day, and he wanted to help me calm down, because.. I was in a bad spot. A really bad spot. I swear, it's not a habit, or anything I'm hopelessly dependent on. I-I just tried it, and I liked what it did for me."

"Okay." She finally said, stopping my rambling, "Okay, sweetie. I believe you."

"Thank you." I murmured, eased a bit, "You can still talk to Carlisle about it. If you want to, I mean. I understand."

"How long ago was the last time?" She asked.

"Not since April." I answered, and she nodded again.

"Can I ask what made you suddenly decide to open up about all of this?" She asked quietly.

"I don't know." I replied, "I just.. I want everything cleared up. I just want everything out there. All the things I've done, and all the things I'm bothered by. You know? That, and.." I hesitated keeping my eyes down, "I just.. I've been thinking about that feeling I've had, and the more I think about it, the more worried I get, because I know what the feeling is telling me now."

"What is it?" She asked, her tone nothing but concern now, "What is it telling you, sweetie?"

"Something is going to happen." I told her quietly, "I know it. I can feel it, and I still don't understand it, but.. I'm not ready to say goodbye."

"Goodbye?"

"It feels a little like before, in the vision, before I had to leave with Aro. Like I'm dreading having to leave, but that could mean anything." I admitted, "Maybe Aro is going to finally come back for me? Maybe Jack's going to get ahold of me? Maybe Jack's going to come back for one of you?" Just that question threatened tears, "I don't know, but I'm not ready for whatever it is."

"Whatever happens, honey, we'll be here." She assured me, "You'll be safe."

"Can I make a request?" I asked, and she gently nodded, "Can you ask everyone to go hunting? I just want everyone to be as prepared as they can be."

"Of course." She replied.

"I think there's time." I said, sniffling to keep from crying, "They can hunt tonight. Maybe tomorrow too?"

"Of course, honey." She repeated, "I think, however, that this may just be caused by you being cooped up for too long."

"There's not much I can do about that." I sighed, standing up, "I did what I did, and I'm not telling you this just to get out of being grounded."

"I know." She assured me, "I understand."

"I just wanted to tell you. I wanted you to know that I have messed up. That there's more wrong with me than my cussing habit. I'm not perfect. I mean, if anything, I deserve to be grounded for longer." I said, "After what I told you just now."

"Well," She sighed, "I don't think you need to be punished for being honest, honey. That's not how it works." I sighed again as well, nodding a little.

"I'm going upstairs." I murmured, "Maybe read a little bit, and clear my head that way."

"Okay." She offered a small smile, "Just let me know if there's anything else you want to talk about." I nodded a little as I tried to return her smile, but it was hard.

I'd earned the return of one book over the last week, so I had something to do upstairs. Which I eagerly returned to now.

Later that night, a good while after my shower, that was how Mikah found me in my room. Curled, lounging on my bed, wearing my humiliating flowery pajamas. I'd gotten used to how uncomfortable they were. Now, they were just clothes.

I looked up at his quiet knock on the partially open door, smiling a little and sitting up straighter. I watched him step into the room as I slid a bookmark into place, knowing I'd probably want to give him my attention.

I hadn't had much alone time with him since my birthday, and truthfully, I'd been avoiding it. He seemed to understand, though. Around everyone else, it was only too easy to pretend he hadn't wanted to kiss me that night. Alone, it wasn't so easy. I just needed to sort through it on my own.

"Hi." I mumbled, and he smiled a little as well.

"Hey there, princess." He murmured softly, making it to the side of my bed.

"Who finally won?" I asked quietly.

"Emmett did." He chuckled, nodding, "He's a lot better than I thought." I laughed a little, nodding as well, "Then Jasper and I played a few hands."

"How much did he make off of you?" I asked with a small smile.

"Not a cent." He smiled, "For two reasons. One, we weren't playing for money. Two, I won."

"Then what did you get?" I laughed a little, watching as he finally sat down.

"A date." He replied, "With you." I didn't know what to say to that, looking down, "Along with two other people." I looked back up, surprised. I understood what he was saying. He smiled a little more, "You can visit with Josh and Zack tomorrow. But only if I go along."

I squealed in excitement, jumping to my knees and hugging him.

"How'd you get him to agree to that?" I asked, pulling back just enough to look at him.

"You've been giving some effort lately, and it hasn't gone unnoticed." He smiled, "So it wasn't all on me. That, and we heard your confessions in the kitchen. It takes courage to face up to that, princess, but you tried. All on your own."

"Wait." I murmured, lowering a bit to sit on my heels in disappointment, "Zack is probably still grounded."

"Mike is more lenient than you think." He replied, "It's already been worked out. You like Port Angeles, right?" I grinned again, hugging him once more.

"You're amazing." I laughed a little, "Thank you."

"You're not disappointed that I have to come along?"

"Disappointed?" I asked in disbelief, "If I had known you could handle it, I would have had you come along before. With you there, it'd be the best of both places. Home, and with them."

"Well, that's sort of what this is." He allowed, "I've gotten pretty good around the humans. Tomorrow, I guess, is test day. The first time I'm let out alone." The first time in about four years. Wow, that was some _serious_ learning.

I smiled, "I'll keep you out of trouble if you do the same for me."

"Deal." He replied with a soft grin of his own.

"Where am I allowed to go?" I asked.

"Anywhere you want to." He said, "Just not that same mall. You were banned."

"Like they enforce that." I snorted, rolling my eyes a little, "But I'll be good. I'm not really that eager to get grounded worse during this little outing."

He nodded a little, "And as you requested, there will be hunting trips. Tonight Esme, Carlisle and I will be out hunting, and return by morning. Then tomorrow, everyone else will be out. Two hunting groups. The vegetarians and the others. All at once is a little more dangerous, but it's quicker and safer for them."

I nodded this time, "I'd rather it be quick. But hunting during the day?"

"Again, sooner rather than later sort of thing. For tonight, they'll be here protecting the place. But tomorrow, while we're out, it's the best time. They'll all be back by tomorrow night."

"I don't know about leaving Carlisle and Esme here by themselves."

"They can take care of themselves." He assured me, "Don't worry."

I took a breath, "You're right. I'm just worrying."

"Relax, princess." He murmured, "Everything's going to be fine."

I smiled a little, looking down.

"Telling me to relax is like telling me not to breathe." I replied, sitting back, "It's impossible."

It was difficult for me to sleep that night, which really wasn't surprising. I couldn't wait to get out again.

Just like all the times before, I came skidding down the stairs the following morning. More than ready to go. For Alice's sake, I wore a more fitting t-shirt, and my jeans weren't _as_ baggy as I usually liked them. She appreciated it, given her smile and compliments.

"Be careful today." I told her, and she knew what I was referring to.

"Don't worry about anything." She assured me, and I took a breath, nodding a little and hugging her. She returned it briefly, before she pulled away and laughed, "Now go, and stay out of trouble."

I grinned, "No promises."

She knew I was joking, and I turned. Grabbing Mikah's hand before I ran from the house, tugging Mikah along behind me.

Mikah seemed nervous, but that was probably more about the fact that he'd be there with us on his own than about having to keep me from burning this mall to the ground. A few times in the yard, he stopped. Not letting me pull him any further, but given his laugh, he was only playing with me. I just laughed, tugging harder.

"Come on, come on." I grumbled, laughing as I put all my weight in pulling on him. He just spun me around, pulling me into his arms.

"Pace yourself, princess." He chuckled, "You're going to tire yourself out before we even get there." I stuck my tongue out, and started running. He smiled, watching after me until he caught up to me.

Mikah kept up with me easily, and I didn't mind running on my own. That was part of the fun. Running without having to stop until I needed to.

"So what are you willing to put up with?" I asked, slowing to a walk once we reached town.

"Whatever you usually do." He said, "Within the confines of the law, of course." I had to laugh at that one, "I'm just along to observe."

"Within the confines of the law is pretty boring." I warned him, and he chuckled.

"Sorry." He sighed, pausing to scoop me up into his arms, "But that's a must." He adjusted me, perching me onto his back, which I accepted. That wasn't so bad. I rested my arms around his neck, lightly holding on as he supported my legs with his arms. This was oddly comfortable. Until he started to run, and I bounced a little. Normal, human speed of course, considering we were right in town where anyone could see us.

I just laughed a little, hugging his neck a little tighter and held on for the ride.

He knew easily which bus stop we had to go to to find the boys. Naturally, we'd be going to Port Angeles. The only place worth going in the immediate area, which was how he knew.

"Hey, guys." I called once we were close enough, and they both looked our direction. I hated that I spotted Sarah there as well, but I ignored that part, hopping down from Mikah's back.

"Whoa." Zack laughed, looking me over, "What's with the clothes?"

"What's wrong with them?" I asked, coming to stand beside him.

"You're not wearing a shirt three sizes too big for you." He replied, "It's not _bad_. I'm just not used to it. When did you get boobs?"

"I've _had_ boobs, you moron." I muttered, self-consciously tugging at my shirt. Trying to make it more loose.

"Oh." He laughed a little, "Well, I couldn't tell before. _Sorry_. They're, uh.. They're nice."

"Shut _up_." I sighed, shaking my head.

Zack seemed confused. Giving me a look over like he wanted to take a picture, but knew I'd smack him. I gave him a look, and he immediately moved on to greeting Mikah.

"Don't listen to him." Josh muttered to me, "I think you look nice."

"Thanks." I replied, glancing to Sarah seated on the bench and looking over her phone, "Why's she here?"

"She wanted to come along." He answered, "To keep me out of "trouble"." He did quotations in the air with a roll of his eyes.

"Right." I muttered, glancing to her again, "For what it's worth, I think Mikah is way cooler than she is."

"Same." He replied quieter, and I had to laugh at that one. My laugh gained her attention, and she looked up. Looking to me for the first time.

It was amazing. Simply astounding. The second she looked at Mikah, her cell phone went right into her purse, and I never saw it again. If I'd known Mikah could make objects disappear like that, I'd have definitely brought him along sooner.

We made it to Port Angeles, and Mikah seemed to have done fine the entire way.

"So, what's the plan for today?" I asked.

"We're going to the mall over here." Sarah told me, "Let's hope you can make it through the day without getting arrested for something."

"Oh, I sure hope I can manage." I replied, deep sarcasm in every word.

I glared at her as she strode passed me, taking Josh's hand as she headed up the sidewalk. Zack to my right, and Mikah to my left as he looked around made me feel a little better. I could almost see it, though. The thought going through Mikah's mind. The thought of how easy it'd be to just reach out and pluck an unsuspecting human up.

As a show of support, I reached over, and took his hand. Taking his attention back, I looked up and met his eyes. Offering a small smile. That seemed to really help, and the gentle squeeze he gave my hand in return told me so.

I held onto his hand the entire block and a half to the smaller shopping mall, chatting with Zack about this and that. Following Josh and Sarah a few steps ahead of us.

"We have to behave." I told Zack, "If I get arrested again, they'll leave me there."

He laughed, "I think we can pull that off. It might take work, but I think I can keep from running amok through the mall."

"That _was_ fun, wasn't it?" I grinned, "But after that, not so much."

"You said you were sick for days after." He murmured, "I never asked. What happened?"

"Dehydration, I think." I replied, and he nodded slowly in understanding, "My stomach decided it didn't agree with whatever they fed me, so _everything_ had to come up. I never replaced the water I lost, so it happened _quick_. After that, I guess my stomach wasn't very happy with me and a little confused. It definitely took work, but I didn't die."

"Well, I'm glad you didn't die." Zack sighed, "That would suck."

"No kidding." I laughed, "Promise not to forget me if I ever do die?"

"Like that'd ever happen." He muttered, "The you dying thing, or the forgetting you thing."

"You never know." I pointed out, "A split second could change everything." Zack looked down, going quiet. With another soft squeeze of his hand, Mikah reminded me that he was there. I looked over, looking up at him. Hesitantly, I moved my hand in his, lacing my fingers through his. His fingers settled against mine, his grip softening so it was more comfortable for me.

As always, our trip to the mall began with getting lunch.

"Whose turn is it?" Zack asked me.

"I'll pay this time." I told him, "Don't worry about it."

"I'll go find a table." Mikah suggested, and I looked up at him. He seemed alright, so I hesitantly released his hand. If anything happened because I wasn't with him, I'd feel horrible.

"So.." Zack muttered as we looked through the shops, "Is he like your boyfriend or something?"

"Do you _really_ have to ask that?" I asked, "Hasn't this subject been done to death?"

"Well, I'm just saying." He said, "It would definitely explain why you haven't gone for Josh yet."

"Besides the fact that he's got a girlfriend." I pointed out, "Zack, I told you. I told you a thousand times. I'll never be anyone's girlfriend. That's just how it is."

"I know Mikah isn't your brother." He murmured, "A family friend, right? The way you look at him is different." I sighed, smiling a little and shaking my head, "Being a girlfriend wouldn't be the end of the world, you know. I've seen the way you look at him, and now I've seen the way he looks at you. I never thought I'd say this, but I think you're even better for Mikah than you are for Josh. Does he know you'll never be a girlfriend?"

"Stop it." I sighed, "I want pizza." It was fast, so I could get back to Mikah sooner.

"Same." He finally agreed, sighing, "Okay. I'll drop it, but just give it some thought. As much as I want to see Josh happy, I want to see you happy, too. Weirdly, you're like a sister to me."

It eased me a lot to know he thought of me that way. I had to smile a little. Putting my arm around his shoulders, I hugged him as he did the same. He'd never really done or said too inappropriate, so I could definitely see the truth in his statement.

"Well," And he was going to ruin that, "A sister with boobs and that smells really nice." I sighed, shoving him away. I laughed, though, pointing out which huge slice of pizza I wanted, and taking the cup for soda I was handed.

I waited for Zack to get his piece. Wrinkling my nose down at it as we filled our cups with whatever soda we wanted.

"What?" He finally noticed the look I gave his food as we headed for the table Mikah chose.

"Ugh." I muttered, flopping down in the seat beside Mikah, "Your pizza smells like balls." I didn't miss Mikah's disapproving look at my choice of words. Zack chose a seat to my right.

"No it doesn't." Zack chuckled, "It's better than your plain ass pizza, and how the hell would you know what balls smell like? You don't look the type to have any."

"Lucky guess." I muttered, shuddering inside, "Simple is better."

"Not even." He countered, "Your pizza is naked. There's literally nothing on it."

"It's better than having every vegetable, fruit and bits of every animal known to mankind stuck on it." I cringed away from the offending plate as he brought it up, waving it at me. I laughed, "Ew." I slapped at his plate, and he just barely caught it, laughing along with me.

"So after lunch," Mikah spoke up, interrupting our light arguing, "What's next?"

"We just walk around." Zack answered, "Look for people to make fun of."

"That's not very nice." Mikah laughed a little.

"It's entertaining." I replied, looking to him, "It's the least law-breaking thing we like to do."

I jumped a little as the space to my left, between where Mikah sat and I sat, became occupied suddenly. Sarah had taken it, laughing a little as she bounded up, and scooted herself between Mikah and I.

"Hey, guys." I stared over at her, deeply confused as Josh stopped behind her.

"Um." I muttered, "Hi? Did you forget you hate us?"

"No." She waved that off, "I don't hate you. I'm mature enough to realize you guys just mess around a lot." She giggled. I hated giggling. I wanted to stab anything that giggled. I looked incredulously to Zack, who seemed just as lost as I did.

"She got lonely over there, apparently." Josh explained, though I couldn't help noticing the bitter edge to his tone, or the way she kept glancing to Mikah. It started to dawn on me, then. She was sniffing around Mikah.

"I see.." I muttered, thinking fast, "Well, I guess she can stay here. Right, Zack?" He just stared at me like I'd lost my mind, "Hey, Sarah. Can I get your opinion on something?"

"Sure." She smiled. I reached over, grabbed Zack's plate and brought it quickly at her.

"Does this smell like balls to you?"

She squeaked and leaned back, cringing as I had, but a thousand times more intensely.

"Ew!" She whimpered, "Get that away from me."

"She doesn't eat meat." Josh explained. I snorted a little, and handed Zack his plate.

"Sorry. I didn't know." A huge lie, "But hey, mine's better, right?" She forced a laugh, still seeming very uncomfortable. Smoothing herself down as if trying to wipe the memory of the smell away.

"So who's your friend?" She chose to focus on Mikah instead, which bugged me deeply.

Their introduction bugged me even more. I wanted to tell her to back off, as she was very obviously interested in him, but that would just prove to her how much I hated her. I looked incredulously at Josh, as I had with Zack, and he gave me one in return.

Eventually, Mikah seemed very uncomfortable by how close she'd scooted, "subtly" getting closer to where he sat. He stood up with a forced laugh, stepping around her and coming to stand behind me. She just turned on the spot, following him with her eyes. Not at all deterred by his obvious rejection and discomfort. That wasn't okay with me.

Zack could obviously see what was going on, as he watched closely.

One more step, I thought bitterly. She didn't move, but she had to have seen how close Mikah was to me. Completely disregarding how protective of him I was. My joking nature was gone now, replaced by jealousy and irritation.

"I think it's so nice of you to babysit little Leandra here." Sarah was saying at one point. Which immediately got my entire attention.

"No." He laughed politely, "It's not like that."

"Seriously, without you, I think she'd probably just cause trouble again." She continued as if he hadn't denied it, "I'm sure you heard what she did last time."

"I highly doubt it." Mikah replied.

"I think her parents should watch her more." She told him smugly, "Twelve year olds shouldn't be out running around with older kids. That's exactly what happens."

"I need more soda." I muttered bitterly. Shoving her to the side as I stood up. If Mikah killed her, it'd be no skin off my nose. Selfishly, I actually hoped he would.

"Leandra," She giggled, "Think you could get me another soda also?"

"Your legs aren't broken." I immediately countered.

"No," She replied tensely, "But Mikah and I are talking."

"And?"

"And.." Her tone was closer to a snap now, "It'd be rude to just walk away."

"How about you go get your own soda?" I asked, facing her and watching as she backed up even more, "You could take your _boyfriend_ with you. Remember Josh?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" She demanded.

"You know what that's supposed to mean." I replied, "Unless you're too fucking stupid to understand the meaning behind simple statements."

"Leandra." Mikah spoke up, and I glanced to him as Josh decided then to move to Sarah's side, speaking quietly to her. I could tell he was pissed. She seemed just as mad as I was, but she really had no reason to be. Not only was I not at all happy with the way she sniffed around Mikah, but I was not at all happy with the way she completely disregarded Josh's feelings to do so. Those were two completely unacceptable actions.

"It's not my fault she's being a complete bitch." Sarah sniffed smugly, "I don't know what her problem is."

"Really?" I barked, "You have _no_ idea?"

"I've done nothing wrong."

"Not for lack of trying."

"Hey, back off, bitch." She was defensive now.

"Repeat that." I snapped, stepping forward. She practically jumped back, "Oh, _please_. Just call me that one more time.."

"Leandra, stop." Josh told me, taking my arm, "Chill out. We don't need a chick fight at the mall." I took a breath, and honestly made an effort to calm down. Even Zack stood up, waiting for the moment he'd be needed.

Sarah was silent now, but I didn't like the way she looked at me. It was funny how just the way she looked at me could piss me off even more.

"Come here." Mikah sighed, taking my arm from Josh and pulling me to him. Turning my back to Sarah, while he wrapped his arms around my shoulders in a very possessively comforting way, hugging me to him. That made it easier to calm down. I took a deeper breath.

"I know." Mikah murmured nearly silently to me, "Believe me, I understand, but you can't afford more trouble. Just take a breath. You'll be alright." He was right. I knew he was right. More trouble was the last thing I wanted, and no doubt I'd probably _destroy_ that bitch. Right or wrong, I couldn't do that. Closing my eyes, I nodded a little.

"I was about ready to grab some popcorn." Zack joked, and I had to smile. He was such an idiot sometimes.

"Look, I didn't know he was taken." Sarah snapped behind me.

"He doesn't have to be taken." I snapped in return, unable to help it. I turned in Mikah's arms to face her, "_You_ are taken, you fucking slut. Or did you just forget that little detail?"

With a gasp of outrage, she looked right at Josh, "Are you going to let her talk to me like that?"

To my surprise, he responded.

"Well, if the shoe fits.." He shrugged. My expression had to have reflected my surprise. She gasped again.

"After all I've done for you?" She screeched.

"For _me_?" Josh laughed humorlessly, "Let's review that, shall we?" She crossed her arms, and I sensed this ending badly.

Josh began listing things off.

"Taking _my_ money for whatever the hell you feel like, constantly putting my both of my brothers down, constantly putting Leandra down. Constantly _bitching_ about Leandra, constantly bitching about the things I wear, even down to bitching about the fucking shampoo I use. Constantly bitching about anybody else I might want to talk to. On top of all that, I get to watch you constantly very obviously hit on other guys, and when I say something, I'm being unreasonable and overbearing? All for letting me fuck you once, and you weren't even a virgin."

I gathered that Mikah wasn't the first guy she's hit on. I bit my lip, looking down. I felt very awkward suddenly.

"I fucked you twice." She countered.

"Twice?" He asked, "The second time I couldn't even get off, with all your bitching about that fake ass headache."

Oh god. I had to move. This was a subject I was _so_ not okay with.

With a blush I was positive could be seen from space, I moved to stand behind Mikah, wishing they'd have saved this conversation for later. I hid my face against his back. He reached back, offering me a hand to hold. I took it gratefully, holding on for dear life.

Zack was about dying across the table, trying so hard to contain his laughter. I was dying of embarrassment, and he was laughing his ass off.

"You're going to listen to that slut Leandra?" She barked, "I've seen the way she looks at you. I know you've seen it too. You want her over me? What's she got that I don't?" I was just about to get pissed enough to pounce on her and slam her face against the floor, when Mikah spoke up.

"Easy there." He growled, obviously not liking the direction the conversation was going.

"Watch it." Zack spoke up as well, announcing more of his unhappiness at the same time as Mikah.

"She's probably fucked all three of you." Sarah huffed, "That's the only reason I can see why any of you like her."

"She doesn't need to fuck anyone." Zack told her, "Leandra is an amazing person. Unlike you, who'd probably have to fuck your dog just to get it to like you."

"Jesus, Zack." I gasped in a whisper, looking over at him. He wasn't sorry for that statement. Not in the least. Even I had limits of what was acceptable to say, though. Which was surprising.

"Don't take it out on Leandra just because you wreak of STDs." Zack snapped. Okay, that was a good one.

Sarah gasped again, "Listen here, you little bastard-"

Josh, however, had heard enough.

"You don't talk to them like that." He told her, "You have no fucking right to speak to them like that. Leandra has been right about you this whole time. I've just been too stupid to listen to her." She glared at him, obviously at a loss of what to say. He continued, "Take a hike, and lose my number, bitch."

She huffed again, and spun.

I was honestly not expecting that. I peeked out from behind Mikah to see her storming away. Clutching her purse and flipping her hair.

"_Fuck_ that felt good." Josh sighed, and Zack finally let his laughter out.

"Oh," I called to her, stepping out from behind Mikah. She paused, looking back, "And I'm fourteen, you dumb cunt." She flipped me off, rolled her eyes and continued on, both Josh and Zack chuckling.

"I'm _so_ sorry." I muttered, looking to Josh, and he looked to me, "I really didn't mean for _that_ to happen-"

"Don't be." He shook his head, "You were right about her."

"I didn't want to be right." I reasoned.

"I just got tired of her shit." Josh chuckled a little, "No big loss on my end. She bugged the hell out of me."

"That was _awesome_." Zack laughed, coming to Josh's side.

"If you ever talk to your girl like that, I'll kick your ass." Josh told him, "That wasn't right of me."

"But she deserved it." Zack was confused.

"Deserved it or not, I should have been a bit more considerate." He sighed, watching after her. She was long gone by then, though.

I suddenly saw then the difference between this time and last time in the vision. Josh was there to teach Zack things he obviously couldn't learn on his own. Zack wasn't under Ken's influence at a very crucial point this time, which made all the difference. I felt confident that Zack would turn out just fine.

That comforted me quite a bit.

Beside me, Mikah sighed, placing his arm around my shoulders and hugged me into his side. Josh looked to me, and the expression in his eyes told me that he wasn't angry at me in the least. He smiled a little, and even seemed grateful. I could see now that he understood.

My thoughts drifted to something Zack said.

"_Please_ tell me you used protection." I shuddered. The first time I'd ever bring up that subject, and the last.

"No shit." He laughed a little, "I wasn't _about_ to fuck that without the strongest thing known to man double wrapped."

"You must really have been desperate." I winced, "What ever happened to just jacking off?"

"I was curious." He shrugged, "And hell, I figured if she was just giving it away.."

"Ugh." I muttered, "Good point, but still."

"Not only that," Zack piped up, "But he knows what would happen if he ever knocked her, or anyone else up."

"I'd kill him." I replied truthfully.

"You'd have to get in line." Zack told me, "You'd have whatever's left of him after mom got ahold of him, and dad finished the job. I'd get to bury him in the backyard. It's already been planned."

"Same goes for you, butthead." Josh countered, "Keep that in mind."

Shaking my head, I looked up at Mikah, taking his hand.

"Just a typical day." I told him, and he shook his head in disbelief, looking in the direction Sarah went as he wrapped his arms around me again.

"The sad thing is," Zack told him next, "She's not kidding. That was mellow."

The rest of the day went fine, and I found with Mikah with us, I never even had to consider stealing anything to have fun. We just looked at stuff, and Zack decided to pay for the video game he wanted, since it was on sale in another store, which had us all laughing about it for quite awhile after.

I bought Josh something for his birthday, since I missed it two days after mine. I also felt bad for ending his relationship with the bitch, so I wanted to make it up to him. So I splurged a little with the money I'd managed to save here and there, and bought him a guitar he'd wanted for quite some time.

With Josh thanking me with a very friendly hug, I knew Mikah was watching, but I knew Josh was just grateful. Josh wrapped me tightly in his arms, spinning me a little, and I couldn't help laughing.

"I want a car." Zack grinned, "My birthday is in March."

"It'd take me fifty years to save enough for a car." I laughed over at him from Josh's arms, "I'll buy you something from one of those bubble machines, because I'm broke as hell now. It took me a year to save that much."

"I'm going to hold you to that." He replied, and I shook my head with another laugh as Josh finally released me.

Sometime around three that afternoon, Josh got a call from Heather wondering if we wanted a ride back to Forks. She was in Port Angeles picking some stuff up, and had enough room for all of us to fit.

I mainly had to make sure Mikah was alright with that. He assured me that he was, laughing at how much I worried. Getting a ride back with Heather would be far more comfortable than taking the stupid bus. Especially with the stuff we'd picked up.

So we all crammed into Heather's van. Mikah and I in the very back, Zack smashed between two booster seats, and Josh up front in the passenger seat. Josh and Zack had permission to spend a few hours at home with us. All it took was a quick text message to Esme from a phone I had no idea Mikah had on him, and that was settled.

Heather pulled up to the house, and on my way out, I paused to tickle Lizzie a little, and I kidnapped Hunter, which she didn't seem to mind. She told the boys that she'd be back in a few hours to pick them up.

I could see as we walked inside how relieved Mikah was to be back. He'd done it. He made it through a few hours by himself around quite a number of humans without killing a single one. All for me. Jasper was going to be so proud of him. Probably more than I was.

I handed Hunter to Zack and sent the boys upstairs to wait for me in my room while I talked to Mikah for a minute.

"Thank you." I told him, hugging him, "You don't know what it meant to me today to have you there."

"I'm happy to do it." He replied, returning my hug as Esme stepped into the room.

"You did so great." I murmured with a sigh, "I'm proud of you." I kissed his cheek lightly, and he smiled as I pulled back. Turning to head up the stairs, I didn't miss Esme's smile.

I caught sight of Carlisle in his office on my way by, and I felt like stopping.

I knocked on the partially open door, and he looked up. He smiled a little, and I stepped into the room.

"Well." I murmured, "I made it through without breaking the law."

"I'm glad." He replied, setting his paperwork to the side. Obviously hospital work he'd brought home with him.

"Even though I wanted to break Sarah's face, but I didn't." I sighed, sitting in the chair across the desk from him, "Mikah kept me from doing that."

"He did well, then?"

"He did amazing." I replied, "Their scent didn't even seem to bug him at all."

"I think having you there helped him." Carlisle nodded a little, "Your scent so close must have made it easy to focus on not losing control."

"Maybe." I murmured with a small smile. I was quiet for a moment before I spoke up again, "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course." He gave me a nod.

"Do you think I'm too young for a boyfriend?" I asked quietly.

"That's a difficult question to answer." He sighed after a moment. I waited for his answer, so he continued, "Normally, I'd consider fourteen too young for something like being in a relationship and the emotions that come with it, but on the other hand, I see how mature you are for your age. You're intelligent, and you're careful, which makes me very happy to see. I know you're mature enough for the responsibility, but I must admit, I'm a bit protective."

I laughed a little, looking down.

"I'm just wondering." I told him, "Not that I'm considering it or anything."

"The most important thing you have to think about is whether or not you consider yourself too young for a relationship." He murmured, and I glanced back up, "If it's a step you're not ready to take, then there is no need to rush into it. For a relationship like that to work, it takes two people comfortable enough to take that step. It should never be about pressure. Listen to your instincts, Leandra. Nervousness is normal for any new experience, but if you're feeling reluctant at any point, then it probably means you aren't ready."

I smiled with a small nod.

"I broke Josh up with his girlfriend today." I admitted, leaning back in the chair. He seemed surprised, "Well, not on purpose, but she was being a complete.. 'B' word, so I called her out on it. Josh defended me, and told her to take a hike. He was tired of her.. Crap anyway, and said it would have happened anyway. I still felt bad, though, so I bought him something for his birthday."

"Well, that was nice of you." He replied quietly, "Though I am sorry it ended like that for him."

"She was all wrong for him." I sighed, "I think she'd be better off getting money for all the guys she does."

"Leandra." He frowned.

"I didn't cuss." I defended myself lightly, "Though I don't think 'hooker' is a swear word."

He shook his head with a sigh. It was quiet for a moment, and I looked down at my hands.

"Esme spoke to me." He told me, and I looked up at him, "About how you were feeling yesterday." I nodded a little, "Do you still feel that way?"

"Yeah." I admitted, "It really does feel like I don't have much time, for whatever reason. Like I'm running out of time, and it makes me really sad. I don't understand it."

"I think at this point we're prepared for anything." He assured me quietly.

"But I'm not." I reasoned, sitting forward again and standing, "I'm worried, Carlisle. I feel like I'm running out of time to do and say the things I need to do and say, and I don't like feeling like that. If anything ever happened to any one of you, I don't know what I'd do. That hasn't changed."

He sighed and stood up as well, rounding the desk. He hugged me, and I had to return it. A sadness I wasn't used to threatened to make me cry. Something I hadn't done since I was eleven years old. I'd refused to let myself cry since then, but I really wanted to the moment the hug started.

"No matter what." He told me, "You'll be okay."

"That's not what I want." I murmured, and he had to know what I meant. I breathed around the lump of emotion in my throat, taking a deep breath as I tried to ease it, "I want you to be okay. All of you, because if you're all not okay, I'll never be okay."

"I know." He replied quietly.

"Carlisle, I know you feel bad." I couldn't make my voice very strong, "For how it all happened in the beginning." He stayed quiet, telling me I was right, "For what Alice told me about last week, but I just want you to know that no matter what happened before, in the beginning, you've been the _best_ dad I could ever have asked for, or could ever even dream about. How it happened was how it was supposed to happen, and I can't even begin to tell you how much you mean to me."

He only hugged me tighter.

"Thank you." I continued, "For everything you've done for me."

"You're more than welcome, Leandra." He replied quietly, "But please don't talk like this."

"I just want you to know." I sniffled a little. No tears had fallen, but they sure wanted to as I looked up at him, "I want you to know how much you mean to me. That the day you came to that house with Alice to pick me up was the luckiest day of my life. No matter what happens, I still want to be like you."

He hugged me again, and I returned it as tight as I could.

It took me a few minutes to compose myself enough to return to the boys I knew waited in my room. I had to be the same smart-ass girl they knew. It'd embarrass me to no end for them to know I was vulnerable in any way. Even if I knew they wouldn't make fun of me for it.

I stepped from Carlisle's office, taking a deep breath and steeling my emotions. A regular occurrence, so I knew how to do it.

I stepped into my room, finding the boys already bored. Zack laid across my bed with my pillow over his face, and Josh stared out the window. Hunter sat on the rug, attempting to scribble on it with a lidded pen.

"Geez," I said, startling Zack, "Just make yourself at home."

We spent maybe ten minutes longer in my room before deciding to go for a walk. I figured if that wasn't acceptable, someone would let me know. Esme was fine with it, however. Telling us to be careful on our way out the door. Mikah was taking a breather on the other side of the house. No doubt he needed it.

So far, today was an awesome day. Josh didn't seem the least bit bothered by what happened with Sarah at the mall. Much to my relief.

Before I could follow the boys into the trees, Mikah called my attention from across the yard. I turned, looking back at him. He jogged to my side, glancing to the boys.

"Go ahead, guys." I told them, "I'll be right behind you." With small laughs, they turned. Heading into the trees, and I looked up at Mikah.

"I just wanted to tell you to be careful." Mikah told me quietly, "I searched the entire area. I found no scent that doesn't belong, but I just don't like the thought of you wandering off on your own."

"I'm with them." I assured him, "I'll be fine."

"I'd come along, but-"

"I know." I laughed a little, "You've already pushed yourself enough for me today. We won't be in there very long, anyway. I'll be right back here soon enough."

"Just promise me you'll be careful." He murmured, gently touching his forehead to mine. I could sense just how badly he wanted to kiss me with that move. Knowing I wouldn't allow it, and respecting my limit, he couldn't know just how much I actually wanted to give him that one thing, but I couldn't.

Not only was I feeling just how impossible that would be for me personally, but I knew not to push his control. Standing this close to him was enough to push his control. Kissing him at this point would probably be suicide.

"I'll be fine." I assured him again, laughing a little. I pulled my head back a little to look up at him. He looked back into my eyes, and I could see his tension, "You worry too much."

"I can't help it." He admitted, and I smiled.

"I'll see you later? And we can talk more then?" I asked, and he smiled in return.

"It's a date." He murmured.

I could feel the change. The difference in this moment than the one before. The moment a week ago was scary. This one was nervewracking in a different way. A week ago, standing like this with him was something that made me want to turn and run, but now, I felt like even if I closed my eyes, I would still be able to see him perfectly.

It was scary, but not something I was willing to turn and run from anymore. I was tired of running. For the first time in my life, I was willing to stay and brave whatever might happen. If I truly was running out of time, with whoever I was running out of time with, I wanted to make it as productive a time as I could, but I also wanted to be safe.

But for right then, I had to remember that I had the boys waiting for me.

I stepped back, sighing as I moved away from him. I could feel his eyes on me as I walked away, and it really wasn't a bad thing. Normally, I hated that feeling, but this time it felt comforting.

"So how did he do it?" Josh asked me after a few moments of silence.

"Do what?" I asked.

"Win your approval." He replied, "I saw you in the yard with him."

I smiled a little, "He's always had it." It felt amazing to finally be able to admit that. Like I finally took a step in the right direction after being lost for so long.

"I kind of figured that." He nodded, putting his arm around my shoulders. Hugging me gently. "Do I still have a shot?" He asked, and I had to laugh.

"Try it." I challenged.

"I'm sure glad I decided to ask first." He admitted, and we both laughed. With another sigh, he kissed the top of my head, "I'm happy you finally picked someone. If anyone deserves to be happy, it's you, Leandra."

"I don't know if I actually picked anyone." I murmured, "It's a little more complicated than that."

"Clearly." He chuckled, "But don't worry. I'm not upset or anything."

I sighed, "I can't tell you how glad I am to hear that."

"Hey." He smiled at me, "No worries, okay?" He hugged me gently again, and I laughed a little.

Hunter trailed along with us, now and then stopping to curiously peer at a bug or a plant. I didn't mind our slow pace. It was fun just being there with the boys for right then.

It was about the time that we reached the river that I started feeling a little nervous. Thinking it was because that was one of the last places I saw Jack, I waved it off as left over paranoia. I held Hunter's hand a little tighter, leading him along slower. More carefully. The feeling in my stomach bordered panic before long, however. Making it tough to breathe, despite how easy and fun the afternoon had been so far.

The entire time we walked, I kept insisting we turn back.

The river was especially rough today, all the rain we'd been getting lately fueling it. The moving water took my full attention this time, and several times, I nearly tripped.

"Guys." I called to them ahead of me, "Come on. Let's go back."

"She just wants to spend time with her new boyfriend." Zack chuckled.

"No." I countered, "I'd just rather not be so far out here." We'd followed the river pretty far at this point.

We came to a spot where it was narrower, and shallower, but further down. Between two rocky cliff-faces, the rocks under the water could easily be seen. The distance to the other side of the river wasn't as far, only about four feet across, but because it was narrower, the water moved faster. Now about a ten or eleven foot drop down to reach the water instead of about six.

"Let's see who can jump across this." Zack grinned.

"What?" I demanded, "No."

Even Josh tried, "Zack-"

But he'd already taken a running start. I didn't want to potentially mess him him and ensure he died in the shallow water below, so I didn't jump on him. He made it easily, leaping across the gorge with lots of room to spare on the other side.

"Are you crazy?" I demanded, "You fucking moron. You could have killed yourself."

So preoccupied with yelling at Zack, I didn't notice Josh was preparing to do the same. Following Zack's lead. By the time I noticed, he'd already run by me and leaped across after his brother.

"Stop it!" I didn't like this.

"Miss Bossy-Boots is scared." Zack grinned, "Come on. I thought nothing scared you."

"I'm not scared." I countered, "I just know what you're doing is extremely stupid."

"Try it." Zack challenged, "It's easy."

"I'm sure it is, but I'm not that stupid." I replied, "Now stop fucking around and get back over here."

"Not until you do it." Zack crossed his arms.

"Guys, come on. This isn't funny."

"You'd have been here already." He chuckled, "You're stalling, so you _must_ be scared."

I sighed heavily, "Fine. Move."

I backed up, and kneeled down for a moment. Looking to Hunter and making sure he was paying attention.

"Do not follow me." I told him firmly, "Okay? Stay right here."

He nodded, and wandered off the opposite direction. Stupidly, I believed an almost four year old would do what he was told.

With him preoccupied, I took a running start, and leaped across. I made it to the other side, but landing wrong, I went tumbling. The worst I had, however, were two scraped up knees, and quite a few bruises.

"Happy?" I snapped at Zack as I inspected my bleeding knees. He shrugged a little.

"You're not dead are you?" He asked, and I rolled my eyes. I looked back across the river, mostly searching for a good spot to attempt a landing back on the other side, but found something concerning. Very concerning, and very panic worthy.

Hunter, running as fast as his little legs could carry him, straight at us.

"No!" I told him right as he jumped. I knew he wasn't going to make it. He just didn't have the speed he needed.

He actually nearly did make it, but just wasn't quite enough. He reached the other side, but much further down than the required height. About four and a half feet down, he caught a small ledge in the rock.

I scrambled forward as fast as I could, peering over the ledge at him. He'd managed to catch it, and holding on tightly to the cliff-face.

The tiny ledge he held onto was something I wouldn't have even been able to grab, but because he was smaller, he could grab it. However, because he was smaller, he didn't have the strength to hold on very long. He didn't look too hurt, but I didn't want to risk him letting go. He'd never survive the water.

"Hold on, Hunter." I called to him, and he looked up at me, "Do _not_ let go, okay?" He just sobbed, seeming to hold tighter. No doubt he was scared. I was scared, terrified _for_ him. The water below his feet churned and lapped at the face of the rock he clung to, as if threatening to pull him in with each passing second.

"Hold my feet." I demanded of Zack who scooted forward immediately. I felt his hands grip my ankles securely, pinning them as I lowered myself down. Bent at the waist, I couldn't reach him yet.

"Leandra, let me do that." Josh requested, but I ignored him.

"I need you to lower me." I called to Zack who did as he was told, slowly inching me down as much as he could., "Josh, please run home. Go get Carlisle."

"Leandra-"

"Now." I demanded, "You're the fastest out of all of us right now. If something happens, I want him already on his way, but whatever you do, be _careful_. Go!"

He didn't argue again. Immediately doing as I told him, he leaped back to the other side, and took off at a steady run.

With the rocky ledge now digging into my thighs, the pain was intense, but I could just reach Hunter. Just enough to grab a tight hold of his wrist, before getting a better grip on his forearm. I didn't want to injure him while trying to save him.

I hated to do so, but I needed my other hand, so I had to trust Zack to hold me. Releasing the hold I had on my shirt to keep it down with my free hand, and used that to pull Hunter up higher.

I pulled him up, getting him to let go, but there was a problem. I didn't have the strength I needed to raise myself up without using my hands, and with my hands full with Hunter, I didn't know what to do.

"Zack," I panted from the odd position, "I need you to pull me back."

I felt his effort, him grunting with the effort to make some progress. Pulling me back very little bits, but the edge of the rocky ledge was eventually digging harshly into my stomach, as I was bent over it at the waist again.

"Fuck." I grumbled, "Stop. Stop, stop."

"I'm sorry." He replied immediately, pinning my ankles securely again.

"We're going to have to do this another way."

"Dammit, where the hell is Josh?" Zack asked, looking around.

"Shit." I panted again, looking around as well. Frightened, Hunter clung to me. Half clinging to my face. Josh was probably just now reaching the house if he stayed at the pace he was going.

"I have an idea." I called up to him, "Get ready."

"You're going to throw him?"

"No." I snapped, "Just pay attention."

I pulled Hunter back a little away from me, and with every bit of strength I had, I raised him up higher, ducking my head down as I raised him over it, he thankfully took the hint.

"Climb up, Hunter." He whimpered, and I felt his hands take a tight hold of my shirt, but gripped the waistband of my jeans next, since they were more sturdy than my shirt, allowing him to hold on easier.

I grunted, the effort he had to use to climb up hurt a little. His shoes digging into my ribs and back. He was taking his time. Too scared to move quickly like I needed him to.

Until I felt Hunter start to fall, and shouted something that completely screwed me over.

"Grab him!"

The second Zack's hands left my ankles, I felt Hunter's weight yanked off of me and I started to fall.

I desperately tried to reach back to grip the edge of the ledge, but that wasn't nearly enough to hold me. Not in the odd position I was in.

I felt Zack scramble to grab my ankle again, and for the briefest of seconds, I thought I was saved as he managed to grip my pant-leg again just before I slid completely over the edge, stopping me. I barely hung there as it was, both of his hands gripped the fabric tightly, but I could feel him slipping.

A terrifying thought crept through my mind. Nobody was going to get here in time.

Nobody was going to save me. This was it. The reason behind every bit of worry I felt lately. It wasn't about Jack. It wasn't about Aro. It wasn't about my family getting hurt. It was about _me_. If I were to hit the water I faced now, I'd never survive it.

I knew it right then, in that split second. I'd just traded my life to save my little brother.

I was going to die.

**A/N: Oh noooo..  
Short A/N this time guys. I don't want to give too much away. :)  
THANK YOU to my reviewers of last chapter! I know I didn't give much of a chance to review before this one came out. I couldn't help it.  
Five shouldn't take very long. Probably longer than a day, though. Just a heads up. I'll sure try not to leave you waiting too long.  
Until five, my friends!  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

The thought was enough on its own to have me desperately squirming, trying to get some sort of leverage back up on the ledge. To save my own life before I lost it.

I had nothing at that point. I relied on Zack fully, and that wasn't okay with me.

"Stop it." Zack barked, his tone strained with fear and the effort he was putting forth to just hold on. I swear, I even heard him give a sob.

"Don't let go, Zack." I begged, my voice trembling, "Please, please don't let go, Zack."

Now that Hunter was safe, I could afford to be terrified for myself. Everything was happening so fast, and I could feel it. Just how close the end was. I could feel it in every fearful breath I took in, literally counting them.

"Please." I cried now, but before I even finished pleading, his grip slipped from all my fearful scrambling and squirming.

With a violent stab of fear, I felt his grip slip at the same time as I felt myself falling.

In times like this most people, including myself, would wonder why he just didn't hold on tighter. They'd wonder why he didn't do everything differently, not even understanding that there was a limit to someone's physical strength and ability to think. Especially in times of fear, and such intense panic.

In a split second, a single moment of time, there were many wishes for the ability to go back. To do it all over, and never follow Zack. To stay home. To stay where it was safe.

But I knew. I knew this was real. This was as real as life got, standing on the edge, metaphorically of course, of losing my life and being completely unable to hold onto it. No matter how much I suddenly desperately wanted to.

I did my best to brace myself in that split second of horror I had, trying to stop myself by reaching back, but that just left my head unprotected. Unable to stop myself, I hit the water, and immediately lost consciousness.

Apparently, falling head first, I'd managed to find a rather sturdy boulder just under the water with my head, my full weight behind it. Thankfully, I was out before I felt too much pain.

Next, I felt movement, but I slowly started to realize that it was just the spinning in my head. I was suddenly very semi-conscious, but only in a way that ensured I heard things. I heard things, I felt things, but the sound or feeling didn't mean anything to me. It was the oddest thing. Stuck in darkness, but partially aware.

Hands. Hands were clearing my very heavy hair from my face. I could feel and taste the water leaving my lungs, pooling from my mouth down the sides of my face, and down my neck, but something was very wrong.

"Hold on, Leandra." The voice beside me sounded very far away, and I barely heard him let alone understood him, "Just hold on." I wasn't in the water. I knew that much, but where was I? I wanted to open my eyes, but my eyes stayed shut, as if having a mind of their own.

Steadily, I felt my chest being pressed on. I should have recognized the movement, but I couldn't. I understood very few things at that point, if at all.

"Leandra."

"Zack, move back." I didn't recognize Carlisle's firm voice somewhere beside me. It was just noise to me. I had no sense of direction anymore.

"I tried." Zack spoke up from beside me. Still just noise to me.

"Take them back to the house." Carlisle's tone was still firm, "Hurry! Don't let them out here again." Carlisle's voice got easier, "Hold on, Leandra. Mikah, brace her head tighter. Don't let it move." I could feel the hands again, bracing both sides of my head firmly.

More pressing, and someone was blowing into my mouth. It made no difference, of course. Was I not breathing? That could have been the thing that was very wrong.

"Leandra." Mikah's unrecognizable voice held a solid weight to it, "How bad is it, Carlisle? How bad?"

"She's not breathing." That solved the mystery, but I never noticed that, "Listen to her heart. Do you hear how unsteady it is? How weak it is? If it stops, that's it. You tell me. I'm doing everything I can right now, but if it's not working by now.." It was getting harder to hear anything, "Hold on, Leandra."

"Turn her." Mikah told him.

"Mikah-"

"There's no way I can do it." Mikah murmured, his voice quiet but quick, "It has to be you. Don't let her go, Carlisle. You promised her. You promised her that you'd never let her go. _Please_!"

As quickly as I heard their voices, I couldn't hear them anymore. Everything just instantly faded away, and I couldn't feel the hands anymore, or hear their voices. Like a switch had been flipped. A light being turned off, or a door closing. Closing everything off behind it.

Was that it? Just like that, was that it?

It couldn't have been more than a few seconds, but after what felt like hours to me, it changed. The echoing memory of it, and the way it felt. The sharp, stabbing sort of fire racing through me, over me. The wildest type of pain ever imagined, but this was very much my second time enduring it.

'No.'

I heard my thoughts as if I were saying them out loud.

'It's not supposed to happen this way.'

'It's too soon.'

'How did I even get here?'

'What's going to happen now?'

I was scared, no doubt about that, but I was also confused. In so much pain, one thought blended evenly with the next. One question not even through my thoughts before the next piled onto it. Thought after question. Question after thought. Over and over.

I remembered clearer now, clearer than ever what it was like last time, and this was completely different. Somehow, I could feel it all from the start.

I remembered. I had to breathe.

I coughed up a whole lot of water forcefully, bringing in a deep breath, and letting it out in an anguished cry. I still didn't know where I was, because my eyes refused to open, but I could feel the water as it left my mouth, pouring down the sides of my face. The sensation of the water gliding over my skin didn't put out the flames of the fire I was laying in. Oddly enough, it only made it worse. It made everything ten times worse.

I knew, without a doubt in my mind, what this pain was. Knowing what it was didn't make it any easier to handle at all. Somewhere, someone had decided that I needed to be turned, but why? Why would anyone do this to me? I didn't remember anything at all about how I got to be burning this way, but I remembered further.

The lovely comparisons of all the pain I'd ever felt in my life started about that time. Nothing I recalled, in my dream-like haze of unending debilitating pain could compare to this. Nothing at all. I'd take a thousand separate beatings, a million days locked in that basement if someone could somehow stop this pain.

I lost track of time while I laid there, and I lost track of my thoughts. Many of them repeating over and over again. Repeating in dizzying circles, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop it. Replaying every moment I messed up, replaying every moment I'd been wronged or hurt by someone else. Reminding me of the life I'd led, twice now, until this very moment.

I cried this time. I cried so hard, because it hurt so much. I couldn't stay silent if I tried. I was overwhelmed by the intensity of the fire burning me alive, and that stole every ounce of control I had. Instead of it being only partial for the first day or so, I really got to experience everything this time. That made it _so_ hard to concentrate on really anything else. Blanketing everything else, covering me in my own sort of shield of pain.

I didn't feel anything else but the pain. I didn't hear anything, or see anything. I didn't pay any attention whatsoever to being lifted and moved. I didn't pay any attention to anything anyone might have said. I just didn't feel it, or hear it. Like it never happened.

Until that shield of pain sort of lifted enough to allow me to.

By the time I was finished, by the time the pain did ease, I was already adjusting to the new way I smelled scents and heard sounds. By listening and smelling, I knew I was watched. Every second for the last six hours, I was watched there by more than one person until everything just stopped.

Truthfully, I was scared. _So_ scared to move, or do anything but lay there. Confused, as I didn't feel the pain as the same pain anymore. I understood what had happened. I knew that part, but everything else about myself confused me.

Dizzying thoughts continued through my mind. That never stopped, but even with the dizzying thoughts, questions could accompany those thoughts, as well as recalling everything different about this time, comparing it to last time. As well as keeping track of all of those in the doorway across the room. All at once, without it being just a blur of things. I could understand each thought and sensation individually.

I should have expected that.

My eyes opened, and in just the same way as I recalled suddenly so vividly, I could see so much more. Despite the darkness of the room, the calming atmosphere, I could see just as perfectly as I would have if daylight lit it.

I saw now that I'd been taken inside. I was home. The doorway was crowded, leaving me stuck in the room.

I was turned. I'd been changed.

This was all wrong, however. I still had so much more growing to do before I'd be where I was before, but I'd never grow again. Forever fourteen. My fourteenth year had just begun, and yet here I was, stuck this way. Not even fully grown yet, stuck in the middle of my last stages of growing up.

"Leandra?" I jumped a little, startled into sitting up at Carlisle's voice beside me.

Here I was, adjusting to being immortal yet again, and I hadn't even taken notice of those moving into the room with me. I needed to start focusing on them more.

"Easy." He murmured, probably trying to comfort me, "I know this takes some getting used to."

"I remember." I said quietly, "It's still there." I closed my eyes again as I took a breath, shaking my head, "This is still so hard, though." I hated the sound of my own voice. It was wrong. I wasn't supposed to be this way! Not yet. I wasn't done.

"Leandra, I'm sorry." Carlisle spoke up again, "I had no other choice."

"No." I said, forcing myself to move slowly, "I don't blame you, Carlisle. I'm just.. Just.." I moved slowly, carefully as I stood up.

"Very good, Leandra." Jasper told me, and I looked to him. I shook my head slowly.

"I remember it." I explained, "_Everything_, but there's still so much more room for more, and it's all separate."

"Just take a moment." Jasper murmured.

I took first one breath, then another. I was having trouble.

"I'm not where I should have been. It's too _soon_." I squeezed my eyes shut, shaking my head. This was hard. I had to admit, I was feeling very disoriented, but now very aware of everyone around me.

"How did this even happen?" I asked, more to myself than anything, "It's too soon. It's too _soon_."

"Leandra?" I looked up at Mikah's hesitant voice, "Relax." He stepped closer, and without even meaning to, I hissed a warning. A low, nearly growling hissing breath in that told him I needed my space.

Why would I do that? My instincts were all messed up.

He immediately retreated a step, laughing nervously.

"She's feeling cornered." Jasper pointed out, "It'd probably be best if you avoided getting any closer unless absolutely necessary. Let her adjust."

"Right." Mikah laughed again, "Sorry, Leandra."

"I'm sorry." I whimpered, "I didn't mean it."

"When I first woke up," Mikah murmured with a smile, "I brought down a warehouse for freedom. I think I can understand a small hiss."

How different would I be this time? I was already noticing differences. I felt confused and very agitated. Edgy, uncomfortable. Just as Jasper said, I felt cornered, despite the way I knew I was safe.

"I think she needs to hunt." Jasper spoke up quietly.

"Here we go." Emmett chuckled, "I'm on it."

"Emmett, newborns aren't playthings." Jasper reminded him, "You need to be careful."

"But she's so tiny." Emmett replied, stepping forward, "Smaller than Bella. What damage could she possibly do?" I suppressed another hiss, letting him get closer, "Come on, shorty."

He attempted to lightly grab my arm, but I yanked it free with a frown. I wasn't sure I liked this. They were treating me differently. They knew I was perfectly capable of hunting for myself, but they seemed to think I needed help. I'd done it before. I just got done telling them that.

"Oh, she's going to be bunches of fun." Emmett grinned.

My head still spinning with unending questions, I moved on my own, away from Emmett and toward the door. The crowd in the doorway parted. However, I was followed. Jasper and Emmett trailed closely, and I glanced back at them. However, before I could question them on it, something more grabbed my attention.

I paused at the top of the stairs, listening. There was a lot of activity in the crowded yard outside, and I could hear every shift, adjustment in someone's pacing feet. More than one person.

"Who's outside?" I asked, looking to Jasper.

"It's only Cole." Jasper replied, and I listened again, "The others heard about what happened. They've been anxious to meet you since they got back."

"That many?" I had to ask. I was nervous. It definitely explained why I felt cornered. I'd known they were out there for some time, but only noticed it right then.

"Would you like me to ask them to clear the area?" Esme asked, and I looked to her.

"Please." Jasper answered for me, "A few can stay, but not everyone."

I watched after Esme as she was suddenly gone. I waited, listening to her conversation with them. Her quiet explanation of how I was feeling both comforted me, and embarrassed me. With assurances that they understood, I tried to feel a little better.

"Leandra?" Listening so closely to outside, Mikah's quiet voice startled me. I was four steps down the stairs before I even noticed, and stopped myself. Gripping onto the handrail lightly in an effort to stop myself from running, but I actually wound up denting it pretty severely. I bit my lip a little, looking it over and bringing my hand back to myself.

"She's a flight risk." Jasper sighed.

"Flight risk?" I asked.

"Easily startled." Jasper replied, "And instead of standing your ground and fighting, you choose to run. It's a little easier to control those that stand and fight."

"I'm sorry." I mumbled.

"No," He said, "It isn't your fault. It's all about the way your instincts are set. Although, I have noticed a pattern." He looked to Carlisle, "I never considered it a factor before."

"What is it?" He asked.

"The younger someone is turned, the smaller they are, the stronger that instinct is." He replied, "In my experience. The youngest physically I've come across was twelve years old. He was never as strong as the other newborns, and I think his instincts prepared him for that."

That explained how different I was this time around.

"I think if given the chance to test it," Jasper continued, "She wouldn't be as strong as most other newborns, purely for the fact that she's so much smaller physically than most are when they're turned, but because of her size, she'll be very fast, which makes the whole flight risk thing very dangerous. I _have_ to work with her at some point. Very soon."

"Hunt with her first." Carlisle insisted, "She'll be very uncooperative until that happens."

"Of course." Jasper replied, "I wouldn't want to try it before."

From what I gathered of the conversation outside, the leaders were the ones that had chosen to stick around. Everyone else moved away. I could understand that, but it still made me a little defensive.

With a sigh, Carlisle started forward.

I did understand this part. The rush to get this out of the way. The sooner I got this out of the way, the sooner I could hunt. The others waited for me to move, though, so I couldn't just follow them. Jasper herded me the rest of the way down the stairs, and the entire way, I focused more on moving slowly than the nervousness I felt over facing those I _knew_ were no threat to me, yet instinct had me reacting to this impending meeting like they were.

Outside on the porch, I could take in their scents more clearly, along with still being hidden from view by Carlisle. To either side of me, my family gathered.

"Well, everyone is still in one piece." I partially recognized Cole's easy tone, "I'm assuming her waking up went well."

His voice sounded different to me. The same, but so much clearer. I could definitely understand now how just someone's voice could tell so much about them. Just as much as their scent could, or their body language.

"She's defensive." Jasper told them, "I'd keep your distance until she can hunt."

"Of course." Dess replied, "We're only here to make it easier on her. The sooner she takes in our scent, the faster she'll adjust to our presence, no doubt."

With a small nod to them, Jasper turned to look at me, "Leandra?"

What was I so nervous about? Maybe I worried about their reaction? I just didn't know what to expect from them as other vampires, instead of only friends of the family. I didn't know what to expect from anyone, but least of all, them. I was still adjusting to this whole thing myself. I didn't like feeling rushed.

When I didn't move, Carlisle turned a little, reaching back and leading me forward by my shoulder. I allowed that, looking up at him the whole time. Where I would have probably stumbled before, I stepped off the step without even thinking, my feet already anticipating the change in level.

I looked over finally, looking to the others facing me across the yard. They studied me, I studied them, but nobody moved.

"Wow." Eli was the first to say something, "Somehow, I expected her to be taller." I allowed a very small smile.

"Don't joke." Even Tanya was there, "She must be so confused."

I stayed quiet, studying them closely. I _was_ adjusting, so that made it easier. I actually preferred Eli's joking. It made me feel better.

"Don't worry about a thing, darling." Cole offered, and I looked to him, "We're here for you. It takes some getting used to, but you couldn't have anyone better on your side."

I took a deeper breath, and gave him a nod.

With that breath, however, returned the fire. Reminding me forcefully of the fact that I hadn't hunted yet. Already I knew that whether I wanted them to or not, they'd follow me. So I looked to Jasper beside me. Somehow waiting for his permission this time.

I recognized the fact that despite my newborn state, he was very knowledgeable. He didn't need the strength I had on his side. Even without knowing before, I could see it.

"We'll continue this in a bit." Jasper knew immediately what my problem was.

"Of course." Dess replied, stepping back. The others knew as well.

"Emmett?" Jasper called, and I clearly heard Emmett's responding chuckle, "Let's go."

That was all the keyword I needed.

I led the run from the steps, straight across the yard and into the trees. There was one thing I'd always appreciated when it came to being immortal, and that was my speed. Even before. As small as I was this time, I wondered if I was faster than them too. I suddenly wanted to test that.

"Shit!" I heard behind me, and they were after me.

I reached the river within seconds, turned, and ran alongside it. I found once I got going, I didn't want to stop. As much as I didn't want this, I found I'd missed this feeling, and as fast as I was already running, all it took was a bit more effort and I was faster.

"Slow down, shorty." Emmett called behind me, and I just laughed. Yeah right.

"This is _crazy_." Mikah had tagged along, "I've never seen anyone that fast."

"She'll stop to hunt soon." Jasper assured them, and I saw that as a challenge. I pushed faster, until I finally turned on the spot, and ran back toward them. Running the opposite direction, squeaking between them with a laugh.

I had no idea what had come over me, but I wasn't about to question it. Something about finally being able to truly run like this again, one of my favorite things I'd missed greatly, had me pushing myself.

"Whoops. You're going the wrong way." I called to them, listening to them slide to a stop, and start back up after me.

"I don't believe this." Jasper grumbled, "She's playing with us!"

I eventually took a left, to circle back the direction I'd originally been going.

"Come on." I called back at them, "You're faster than this, aren't you?" This time, I heard Emmett laugh, "Catch me if you can."

"Leandra, stop this." Jasper called to me, "Now isn't the time to play."

I pushed faster, making a right. Dodging trees, and now boulders, we were headed up. I'd found a much rockier terrain. Leaping easily from one ledge to another at top speed. It wasn't like I was afraid of falling. I knew they were still behind me.

It was more open here, and I didn't quite like that. I like the cover the trees provided. It was somehow comforting, so I turned back around. Running back the opposite direction once more, and this time as I darted between them, I felt Jasper's attempts to catch me.

"So close." I laughed, continuing on. Mikah chuckled as well, probably just as entertained as Emmett was.

"Concentrate, Leandra." Jasper called to me. I ignored that, continuing on as all three trailed after me. I was having fun.

"Don't you want to hunt?"

That reminded me. Damn him.

I sighed and finally slid to a stop. Jasper blowing right passed me, stopping a few feet ahead of me, and I was finally tackled by Emmett. Literally knocked right off my feet and pinned to the ground with his arms securely locked around me. Mikah stopped right beside us.

"Ow." I growled up at him.

"Do you surrender?" He asked me.

"That hurt." I pointed out through clenched teeth, "And _no_. That just makes me want to run even more." I raised my head as much as I could, finding a few scents coming up on us rather fast. I recognized these scents from the house, so it didn't worry me.

"What the hell is going on out here?" Alice's voice had me sigh.

"I'm saved." I grunted into the ground, "Get him off of me. Please."

"Let her up, Emmett." Carlisle now stood beside Mikah.

"She was _playing_ around." Jasper still seemed surprised by that, "Tell me that's not odd."

"She's just testing herself." Mikah reasoned, "I did it. You probably did it. What's so wrong with that?"

"Testing herself is fine when she's not faster than us." Jasper countered. He sighed, "Let her up, Emmett." He sighed and hauled us both up. He stood up, still holding onto me, and the moment I felt his grip loosen ever-so-slightly, I rounded and brought him to the ground with a growl.

"If you ever do that to me again," I growled quickly, "I'll rip your arm off, and promptly beat you with it. Am I clear?"

"Whoa, whoa." Mikah stepped forward and pulled me from Emmett. I allowed that, glaring heatedly at Emmett as he stood up, laughing in amusement.

"She _is_ fun." He chuckled.

"I'll show you _fun_." I growled, giving Mikah a struggle.

"Leandra." Jasper's tone took my full attention, distracting me enough to stop my struggling, "That's enough." He'd been firm with me before, but I'd never heard that particular edge to his voice before. That was new to me.

I didn't struggle again, but I gave another quick glare to Emmett.

"It's time to hunt." Jasper told me, "Focus."

With another, louder growl, I tore my arm from Mikah's grip and rounded.

"Please try not to piss her off." Mikah murmured nearly silently to Emmett, "I'm sure she'd hate it if she actually hurt you."

It was actually easy to focus once I decided to. There were so many animal scents out this far. Each with varying degrees of desireable scents. The birds and small animals didn't appeal to me at all, but I did find it hard not to kill them anyway. I had to pick one.

I stood there for several moments, just smelling. I knew I was watched, but they were silent enough to be ignorable. I just had to get back into the practice of this. All of the scents around me tried to distract me.

Bears, wolves, cougars. Highly less appealing deer, elk, and moose. Choices.

The longer I stood there, the worse my thirst got, so I'd have to just go for it eventually. Now wasn't the time to be picky.

Eventually, however, I did run. The deer were closer, so I'd settle for them.

Just like before, my first hunt was instinct. No choice in what I did after I backed off enough to let my instinct loose. I could definitely understand how this could be dangerous if they weren't careful.

I picked off two at once. Holding one by the throat in my teeth, and snagging another by the neck in my hands. It fought, so I swung it easily over my head, and snapped its neck as I slammed it to the ground. It was all so easy.

It'd wait there for when I got done with the first one.

By the time I was done, four deer later, I hadn't been interrupted once. I had to admit that I felt a little more myself now that I'd hunted. Still tense, but less edgy.

"Is it bad to say that I'm still thirsty?" I muttered as we stepped into the yard. Returning home. Nobody had stuck around, probably giving me time to calm down.

"Get used to it." Jasper replied, "There's only one thing out there that'll get rid of that for a bit, but it'll always be there."

I whimpered, following Jasper inside the house. Herded by Emmett, Mikah, and Carlisle. Giving a glance around, I could clearly smell my own human scent. I'd spent so much time in the house in my life, it wasn't surprising that my scent would linger. It didn't bother me or anything. I just recognized it.

There were more scents I didn't notice before.

I just stood there for a moment, really not sure what to do with myself. I didn't want to move, for fear of breaking something. I remembered how to concentrate on not moving too quickly, but that only covered so much. There was still so much I had yet to learn, and I hadn't been prepared to learn it for another three years.

"So." Emmett spoke up behind me, and I looked back at him, "Memorial, or funeral?"

"What?" I asked, frowning.

"You died, remember?" He asked, "What would you rather have?"

"That's depressing." I muttered. I sighed, shaking my head, "I don't know."

"You had so many human ties, Leandra." Jasper reminded me, "They need their closure."

"Bella didn't have to get rid of hers." I whined.

"She had the control it took to keep hers." Carlisle pointed out, and I looked to him next, "I wouldn't dare trust yours to be that strong."

"Why not?"

"Because of that." He gestured to me, "The lingering scent of the boys is getting to you."

"What?" I asked, "No it's not."

"Your eyes don't lie, Leandra." Jasper told me, and I looked down, "There are so many more factors that cause you to lose control than just scent. If there was a human in the room with you right now, you'd lose your mind. If an old scent can do that to you, then I can tell you right now that you're not ready to face a human. I'm sorry."

They were right, and I knew that. I glanced back as the others descended the stairs. Esme moved forward, opening the door. Probably to clear out the scents.

Of course, I knew he was right. I remembered what it was like to face a human, and if I ever hurt either of the boys because I was too stupid to listen to him, I'd never forgive myself. I looked down briefly, with a tense nod of agreement.

"Whatever you think is best, I guess." I mumbled.

With a nod as well, Carlisle looked to Alice.

"I'm on it." She told him before he even had to say anything, but she stayed there. Probably planning everything in her mind first.

"Just remember. It's a funeral, not a circus." I muttered, and she huffed, giving me a look.

"Does that mean we're leaving?" Emmett asked.

"We're going to have to." Carlisle replied, "So I want you to compile a new list of potential areas that will be suitable for her. I'll talk to her family and friends."

"I'm standing right here." I muttered. I hated it when they talked like I wasn't even there. That hadn't changed just because I was different now.

"Quick question, Leandra." Alice spoke up, and I looked to her, "Were you religious?"

"What?" I asked again.

"Well, I need to know how to plan-"

"Just do whatever you want." I snapped, "I don't care. It's not like I'm going to be there."

"Good point." She nodded, "And I completely understand that, but I need to know what everyone is expecting from you, considering you were a completely different person with them." I forced myself to calm my tone. It wasn't her fault. She just needed a few details answered.

"Um.." I sighed, looking down as I thought, "Not really. There's not really anything special that you need to do. Whatever you think is best. I doubt they'll be paying much attention to the decorations anyway. Things like that have never taken their attention. At least not the boys."

"Okay." She replied, "Thank you."

This was really bothering me. I crossed my arms, turning and pacing.

She looked to Carlisle, "Another question. Who's going to watch her during? Because if we're not all there, then that'd be really odd to them."

"We'll talk to Cole." He answered, "She can spend a few hours with his coven."

"Is that best?" Alice asked, "I don't trust them to respect our diet choice, and if she tastes human blood, adjusting will be ten times harder on her." I whimpered at just the mention. Turning a little, and continuing to pacing slowly. Each step calculated.

"I'm sure they can keep her out of trouble for a day." Jasper murmured, "Cole has experience with newborns."

"If anything, they can just pin her for the entire time." Emmett shrugged.

"I'm _still_ standing right here." I grumbled, "And remember what I said about pinning me, Emmett."

"You couldn't hurt a flea." He chuckled, and I glared at him, stopping my pacing movements as I watched him.

"Don't get her irritated, Emmett." Jasper sighed, "That would make all of this ten times harder."

"But she's so _cute_." He chuckled, stepping forward, "Look at those little cheeks." He pinched my cheek.

I slapped his hand away, and shoved him back with a loud growl.

I hadn't even been trying that hard, but the distance he flew before slamming through the window to land on the porch startled me. The shattering of the extremely durable glass was loud in the room, while I stood there, stunned for a moment.

There he was, easily twice my size and I practically threw him like he weighed ten pounds. I was beginning to see my potential. A deer was one thing, but _Emmett_?

Disappointed sighs had me look around, but their eyes weren't on me. They were outside, on Emmett.

"Oops.." I murmured, ducking behind Esme as Emmett righted himself outside.

"Whoa." Thankfully, Emmett wasn't mad. He was amused. A great deal, by the way he chuckled.

"We're definitely going to have to get that fixed before Friday." Alice muttered, "And I think that should be his job."

"Emmett, I know you enjoy a challenge," Jasper growled, "But knock it off."

"Leandra, please try not to destroy anything else for a little while." Alice told me, and I looked to her. In other words, 'Bad newborn! We don't throw Emmett.'

"I didn't mean to do _that_." I replied defensively, "That was an accident."

"I know." She said gently, "But work on your temper, okay?" I nodded a little.

"Clean that up." Esme told Emmett as he stepped back inside through the broken window.

"Yes, mom." He chuckled, immediately kneeling down.

"And for the time being, I think it'd be best if we just give her a moment." Esme continued, "Overwhelming her is just as bad as angering her."

"Leandra." Jasper took my attention, "Follow me." I watched after him, hesitating there beside Esme as he moved for the door.

"I said I was sorry." I muttered, and he paused, looking back at me.

"No." He said, "You're not in any trouble. I only want to work with you a little bit. A basic lesson on self-control." Oh. Well, that didn't sound so bad.

"Jazz, go easy on her." Alice murmured as I crossed the room, "Remember who she is."

"I'm keeping that in mind." He replied, moving me forward with his hand on my shoulder, "I'm not going to harm her, but I can't afford to go easy on her just because she's my sister. She needs to understand her full potential if she's going to learn any form of control. At least enough to keep from accidentally hurting one of us."

He stepped outside with me, and I glanced back as the doorway suddenly became crowded. Even Emmett had stopped to watch. It looked like there would be an audience.

Down the steps, and into the yard. He stood me in one spot, and backed up. A bit confused, I gave a look around. I didn't know what to expect of him, so I took that as a need to tense.

"Focus, Leandra." He told me, and I looked to him again.

"I don't get it." I admitted, "Focus on what?"

"Right now, your attention is a thousand different places." He explained, "And that's perfectly understandable, but that's a major part of the problem. While your thoughts are everywhere at once, you can't focus everything you need to on controlling your instincts or strength. Make sense?" I nodded a little, "So what I want you to do is to focus on me. Nothing else."

"Nothing else?" I asked, "That's-"

"It is difficult, but it's the one thing you need to learn now, instead of later."

"What happens if I can't learn it?"

"You'll learn it." He nodded, "It's not optional." That made me a little nervous. I looked to the crowded doorway again, and they returned my look. Esme and Carlisle closer than the rest, but the others not far behind them.

"Leandra." Jasper called my attention again, "Pay attention."

"Sorry." I mumbled.

He gave a nod and suddenly, my nervousness was gone. I knew he was helping me with that, but what mattered to me was that he wasn't mad at me.

"It's understandable." He repeated, "All I'm asking you to do is clear your mind. Empty it. Not only will that calm you down, but it will make it easier to think about the things you need to be thinking about. You need to be here, thinking about what you're doing or about to do, instead of thinking about the herd of deer four miles south or how someone shifts position on the porch."

I took a breath, nodding a little. That made sense.

"I want you to be more aware of your movement than you are of everyone else's. That's all I'm interested in teaching you tonight."

I nodded again.

"Later on, after things settle down, I'll teach you more." He continued, "But for now, just focus on me and clear your mind. Don't worry about them or what they're doing. You're perfectly safe here, and you know this. Now clear your thoughts."

"I'm trying." I told him, "It's hard."

"Try harder."

I didn't like his tone, announced clearly by the way I was feeling, and the growl I quietly gave.

"This is more like it." Emmett chuckled, taking a step forward. Enough to tense me even more.

"Stay there." Jasper told him firmly, stopping him in his tracks, "We don't want to make her run."

Holding my gaze, he had my full attention. I followed his every move.

"See," Jasper spoke up after a moment of tense silence, "You're focused on me now, but that's only because I irritated you. That's not what I want."

I didn't reply, but slowly, my tension eased. I calmed down a little, taking a breath.

"Good." He said, "I only had to help you a little bit on that one."

"Good." I repeated, "Can I go now?"

"No." He said, "You still haven't done what I asked you to do."

"I don't know _how_."

"Yes you do." He countered, "Now _clear_ your mind."

"No I don't." I hadn't even meant to growl again. He was pissing me off. Quickly, and it showed. When I was this tense, it didn't take much. He took a step, and instantly, I moved. Countering his movement to a tee. He stopped immediately, and I gathered that he wasn't trying to startle me. He'd just moved.

"Relax." He told me. He sighed after a moment longer, looking to the porch, "This isn't working."

"Let me try." I looked over at Alice's call.

"No." Jasper said immediately, "It's too dangerous."

"Jazz, I've faced newborns before." Alice reminded him, skipping down the porch steps.

"Not like this." Jasper replied, moving to her side, "Those were distracted newborns. She can watch your every move."

"She's not going to hurt me." Alice sighed, "Besides. We want her focused, don't we? And let's face it. You're intimidating."

He sighed, "Just be careful." Alice smiled at him, giving him a brief kiss. I watched them move, Jasper stepping back to stand beside the porch steps, and Alice moving forward.

"This is going to take some getting used to." Alice told me with a little laugh. I really appreciated the way she spoke to me like nothing had changed, "How do you feel?"

"Nervous." I admitted quietly, "Confused."

"Don't be." She smiled, "Nobody's going to hurt you." She said that, knowing I knew that.

"I know." I murmured, "But I _hate_ how much has changed. Everyone looks at me now like I'm something different. I mean, I know I am, but it sucks."

"I agree." Alice laughed a little, "It sucks, but we have to be careful with you now. That's all it is."

I looked down.

"Your reactions are stronger now." She explained, "I'm sure you've noticed that." I nodded a little, "That's normal. You'll get control of that soon enough." She had confidence in me, "What are you confused about?"

I hesitated, thinking.

"It's.." I sighed, "It's hard to remember. Anything. I know about the river, but I can't remember what happened."

She took a breath, her smile fading.

"You want to know what happened to you." She stated quietly, and I nodded. She paused, looking to Carlisle as if she didn't know what to say.

"I think that should wait." Carlisle told me, "At least until you're in a better mindset." I nodded a little. I understood that.

"For right now, let's just focus on the fact that you're fine. You're better than fine." Alice murmured, and I looked to her again, "And Jazz only wants to help you, Leandra. He's trying to make it easier on you."

"I know." I replied, "But he doesn't have to push so hard. I'm doing the best I can."

"You're doing the best you could before." Jasper pointed out, "I know you can try harder. You'd have done it by now if you'd have tried as hard as you could."

"You're not in my mind." I snapped.

"I know how newborn's minds work." He countered, "I've trained countless numbers of them."

"Maybe I'm different." I replied, "Maybe I'm not the same as them. Not all newborns are the same."

"You're fighting it." He shook his head, "That's all it is."

"Jazz." Alice murmured, "Please. Just let me do this."

I shook my head, closing my eyes, "I just need time-"

"We don't have time." Jasper told me, "If we don't handle this now, you're only going to get harder to control."

"Did I somehow _offend_ you by waking up?" I asked sharply, "Because you've been nothing but an asshole to me since I first opened my eyes."

"I'm not about to be lenient just because of who you are." Jasper replied, "You need firm guidance, not coddling. I'll admit," He continued, stepping forward, "I've never attempted to control a newborn I knew before they were turned. This is a first for me, but I don't do favorites. If I'm going to do this, I'm doing it right, so pay attention."

I fell quiet once again, watching as he made it to me.

"Now, I understand that the way things have changed has confused you." He spoke calmly now, "But you _have_ to understand that when the situation changes, we adapt. How we deal with things changes, and that includes you and the way you've changed. You can fight that all you want, but sooner or later, like it or not, you're going to have to give in. You're going to have to accept that. Do you understand me?"

I didn't reply. I kept my eyes on him, neither agreeing or disagreeing.

"Good." He continued as if I'd agreed, "Now. I know you hate it, but I'm going to control your emotions until you can get the hang of clearing your mind without your emotions standing in the way. It's the only way I know of to keep you under control."

It was only then that I noticed. I wasn't angry anymore. He'd taken my anger and unease without me even realizing it. Without even giving me a chance to resist it. Replacing it with a calm sort of acceptance.

"You're having an easier time focusing now, aren't you?" He asked, and I sighed, admitting that he was right with a nod, "Your thoughts move slower, fewer at a time. You're more aware of yourself than you are of your surroundings." Again, I nodded, "This is what I was looking for, Leandra. Later, once you've had a chance to get used to this, we'll work on your emotions without my help. I'm only doing this to ease you into this life the best way I know how, while remaining in control. I wish it wasn't necessary, but you've proven that you need it."

I looked down.

He wasn't lying. The rest of the night passed slowly, with him always within reach of me. I moved, he followed.

My first night as a newborn was long. Especially given the way I still craved blood. He wasn't lying about that, either. That never went away. He could take the emotions associated with it, but he couldn't take the physical reaction to the craving.

I hunted again just before dawn, making it back just about an hour later, but the blood I'd had wasn't the blood I needed. I was quickly beginning to see what it meant to live the life my family lived. I was quickly beginning to see that they were right. If I'd had the opportunity, I'd kill a human without a second thought, and hell. I even _wanted_ to.

I couldn't stay inside, the residual scent of humans in there was driving me up the wall. Already. Hours after being turned, and I already couldn't handle it.

"Just one human?" I asked again, looking up at Jasper from where I sat on the porch.

"No." He told me firmly, for the hundredth time.

"Just for comparison purposes." I reasoned, "Just so I know what I have to stay away from."

"No." Jasper repeated, "Stay put, Leandra."

I knew it was pointless to ask. Maybe if I just ran off, they wouldn't catch me.

"Don't even try it." Edward had showed up during the night. Probably just to help keep an eye on my thoughts. I also knew that Edward was the fastest out of all of them, and had a chance of catching me. I hadn't tested it, not brave enough to, but I also didn't want to.

I whimpered, but stayed right where I was. My knees drawn up, my arms crossed and rested on top of my knees.

"It gets easier." Mikah told me, "It never goes away, but you get used to it." I didn't reply to that. I didn't even look his direction. I chose to focus on the activities inside the house instead. It helped with the craving.

Carlisle was on the phone with Heather. Letting her know the details. I closed my eyes at her reaction, as I could hear everything. I could hear the emotion in her voice, and I knew how upset she had to be. This was almost worse than the craving.

Footsteps descended the stairs, and Alice sighed as she stepped outside. She'd just gotten done arranging everything that needed arranging. In an hour.

"Has Cole been by again yet?" She asked, coming to stand beside Jasper.

"Not yet." He replied.

"I'd just like to go over everything with him again." She gave a glance around, "Just to make sure we're on the same page." Sighing myself, I reached over and picked up a rock. Just for something to do with my hands, but by the time I actually got it up off the ground, it was crushed to pieces in my fingers.

Surprised, I dropped the dust, staring at it. How could I do something like that without even noticing? Frowning, I tried again. This time, far more carefully. It worked, and the rock survived. Holding it in my palm, I slowly closed my fingers over it. Focusing all I had on not killing it.

How hard was it really to figure out control over my strength? Just because I destroyed things just by touching them didn't mean I had to.

"It takes work." Mikah's voice beside me startled me into squeezing, and smashing the rock into a fine powder anyway, and I sighed, looking up at him. He smiled apologetically. It was better that it was a rock, and not something valuable. Still. How was I supposed to learn control if I killed stuff when I was startled?

"This sucks." I grumbled, rising to my feet. I turned, pacing away, and I knew they watched me. Closely.

Before I got too far, however, I recognized the scent coming quick from in front of me. I stopped walking, waiting. I found that he wasn't alone, though. I also noticed that I was. I didn't like that, despite the way I knew Cole wouldn't bother me. I wasn't ready to face anyone outside of my family alone yet.

I supposed, though, that I should get ready pretty soon. Tomorrow was Friday.

"Cole's here." I muttered, turning and heading back to Jasper at top speed. Startling Alice a little, given the way she glanced to me.

"Good morning." Sure enough, Cole stood there seconds later, a smile on his face. I looked down, "How was your night?"

Dess beside him smiled, "Not too rough, I hope?"

"It went well." Jasper answered, "However, there is a favor we need to ask of you."

"You need us to babysit?" Cole offered, chuckling. I frowned, not liking that reference.

"If you wouldn't mind." Jasper replied, "It'll only need to be for a few hours tomorrow."

"Not at all." Cole agreed, "But there is the matter of how wary she is. Not that I can blame her, but that may pose a potential problem."

"My suggestion is to stick around the area for today." Jasper told him, stepping forward, "Let her get used to I must warn you, however. There will be special instructions that go along with her."

"Right." Cole gave a nod, "The diet."

"She's still new." Jasper explained, "She'll need to hunt every few hours, but she's going to want to hunt humans. That's normal, obviously, but don't give in. Constant surveilance, and she's fast, so you'll need to be on your toes. There will be quite a few humans here tomorrow."

"I'm sure Dess can keep up with her." Cole smiled a little before it faded, "However, there is the matter of physical restraint. I can understand how that could be a sensitive issue with her."

"Last resort." Jasper replied, "Only if nothing else works, and all the usual rules apply. Keep in mind the correct way to approach a newborn."

"Of course." He nodded, "I'm quite experienced on the matter." He gave a smile to Mikah beside Alice.

"I won't be there to control her emotions." Jasper pointed out, "She won't be nearly this calm."

"Of course not." Cole chuckled, stepping forward, "I imagine the diet only intensifies that."

"For a short time, I'm told." Jasper gave him a nod, "It confuses them, and they _really_ don't like being confused."

"I think this will be interesting." Cole approached alone, but I still stepped back when he got too close, "It'll be tricky, but she'll be in good hands."

"I'll be there." Mikah spoke up, "I'll have to make an initial appearance, of course, but I'll be there. That might help."

"Good idea." Alice brightened into a smile, "I never even thought of that, but that's perfect."

I looked over, looking toward the house as I clearly heard Carlisle descending the stairs now. Probably to go over a few things with Cole. Jasper may have had more newborn experience, but not with ones on our strict diet. Carlisle had him beat there.

He stepped outside with a sigh, the day already weighing on him, and it wasn't even ten-thirty. Today started weighing on me the night before.

I kept my eyes on Cole the entire time Carlisle explained what all needed to be done. Trying to force myself to adjust to the idea of having to spend several hours with him. Jasper stayed nearby, talking to Alice about everything that would be going on the next day. Deliveries, people arriving, things like that.

Trying to decide exactly when I needed to be gone, so I didn't accidentally pick off the flower delivery guy guard dog style. That wouldn't help things.

Emmett eventually came outside, and while waiting for Carlisle to be finished with his conversation, he showed me property listings he'd printed off.

They didn't mean anything to me. I didn't care. I was stuck in my own dazed sort of uneasy world, where nothing really mattered but the emotions I couldn't feel, and the need for blood that fueled them. My family and their discussions mattered to a point, but even they couldn't compare to the pull of blood.

They kept saying I would adjust. I really hoped that would be soon, but somehow, I understood that this was just the start. I hadn't even had a chance to really focus on everything I'd been so focused on just three days before yet, but I did a bit while I stood there. Like my mind switched focus on its own. A more human type mentality, taking note of the entire situation at once.

Everything real, not old vision related, seemed like a dream. It was very hazy and hard to remember, but it was there. I remembered most of my last day as a human. Everything, except for what happened to make me this way.

Hesitantly, I looked over. Looking to where Mikah stood with Emmett. Looking over the pages he'd brought out. Discussing the pros and cons of each new place.

I didn't even know where to start when it came to understanding what I was thinking about him. I definitely saw him clearer, and there was more there than I obviously realized before. Like seeing him with my new eyes changed how I felt about him.

I didn't understand it, but it could very well just be one of those things. Everything about being a newborn meant everything was new. Everything was far more intense, and harder to control. This was probably one of those things.

He looked to me, noticing my eyes on him. He offered a small but very supportive smile, and I couldn't help returning it. Slightly, and hesitantly, but I couldn't help it. I looked down. I vaguely noticed how briefly, Jasper paused mid-sentence, and glanced to me.

Either way, I wasn't going to even concentrate on anything like old human memories until I figured out just how intense everything about this life could be. I knew this time was far more complicated, because I didn't have my son to tame me. I was far younger, smaller than I was before. I'd developed a lot in the three years between fourteen and seventeen, and now that I didn't have that option anymore, I'd just have to deal with what I had.

It wouldn't be so bad, I thought. I hated what boobs I did have, so I didn't have to worry about them changing sizes any time soon. Like ever. I'd never have to move up a size in clothes, which meant I could keep what favorite clothes I had now. That was a plus, right?

And it wasn't like I was _too_ small. I'd grown quite a bit in my years since being an eleven year old. Matured in more than one way, so it wasn't a complete waste of time being alive. Sort of.

Sure I was still behind where most females my age were, but not as behind as I used to be. I was just a little short. Nothing wrong with that.

All in all, I figured I could live with me. It could have been worse. I could live with the way I was. At least until I fully discovered how intense these new instincts could really be.

That would be tricky.

**A/N: Don't hate me. I swear, I have a reason for all this.  
THANK YOU to those that had a chance to review chapter four! You're awesome! :D You guys can thank them for how soon this is out. Unless it sucks, but I'm assured it's a good one.  
I'll probably be slowing down a little after this chapter. Just a heads up. Not too much, but to my regular speed. I need to catch up on sleep. The hubs thinks I'm about one more lack of night's sleep away from strangling him, and he might not be too wrong on that.  
Six has got some content, but nowhere near finished. That's all I'm going to say on that subject. ;)  
Until Six, my friends! :D**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

"That's good." Eli smiled, "You're already doing so well. Made for sparring, I'd say."

Eli had been called in as well as evening fell. Probably to keep an eye on me while everybody else talked.

"Just stand like this." He moved forward, moving me how he wanted me, "It's the easiest to protect yourself, and gives you a better advantage. There. Just like that."

This wasn't really training, but playing around. It seemed so easy to play around with him, as he was the least serious or nervous about approaching me out of everyone. Other than Emmett tackling me violently, nobody else had the courage to make contact with me like Eli did. He made it almost easy to ignore the constant aching craving I had.

"See what I mean?" He asked, and hesitantly, I nodded, "Someone comes from this side, you can turn. Someone comes from that side, you can turn. Behind, you can spin, or front, you can meet them half way. Keep that stance in mind. It's the most basic one you can learn." I nodded again.

"It's not against the law to speak, you know." He chuckled, and I sighed. Crossing my arms over my chest insecurely.

"This is still all so hard."

"You're still fresh." He replied, "You'll be alright."

"Everyone keeps saying that." I mumbled, "Nothing stops now. I thought my mind was busy before, but.."

"Here. I'll show you a trick." He stepped around me, standing directly behind me. He adjusted my shoulders, to an easier position. Uneased, I looked behind me at him, "Just hold still. Let me move you."

I felt so stupid, but I did as he said. He uncrossed my arms, letting them down to my sides.

"You have to open yourself to breathe, don't you?" He asked gently, "And the same goes for releasing tension. You're wound so tight, I'm shocked you're still standing here and not climbing the wall." I smirked a little, "Close your eyes." I glanced back at him, and he gave me a look, "Just try it."

Once again, I did as he said. This took a whole lot of trust.

"Now take a breath." He murmured over my shoulder, "In that breath, I want you concentrate only on what scents you smell. Say them out loud if you have to."

"I don't want to."

"Then just think them." He agreed, "Concentrate on nothing but those scents." He fell silent as I hesitantly brought in a breath. A whole lot of earthy smells. Trees, soil, foliage. Rocks, rain, and fresh air. Along with everyone's scent in the yard. Among those scents I heard the conversations. The things everyone was talking about. Closing my eyes like this made sure I concentrated ten times harder on everything else.

"Do it again." Eli told me, "Breathing helps our kind just as much as it helps humans. Just in a different way."

I did as he said, taking a deeper breath this time.

"Be careful." I opened my eyes, looking over at Carlisle standing there, "Don't let her do that too much. The slightest hint of a human scent, and she's going to lose herself."

"I'm keeping track." Eli assured him. With a small nod, Carlisle turned back around. I watched after him, wishing I knew what to say to him. I honestly couldn't tell where I wanted that conversation to go. I couldn't decide if I was pissed or grateful.

"Try it again." Eli took my attention after a few seconds.

"Nah." I sighed, "It's alright."

"Aw, come on." He muttered, "You almost had it." I forced a small smile and shook my head.

"Thanks, but I just think I'm doomed." I replied, "I've always been tense. This is nothing new."

"You don't know just how much tension like this can effect you yet, do you?" Eli asked, stepping around me so he could talk to me easier, "Jasper's had you covered for too long."

"So?"

"Oh boy." He sighed, "You're going to lose your mind tomorrow. Just you wait and see. He should have been weaning you off."

"I'll be fine." I muttered, crossing my arms again. I didn't want to get pissed and hit him. I remembered what happened to Emmett, and to be honest, I was worried about it myself.

"Just let me show you how to calm yourself without his help." He reasoned, "That might-"

"I get it. Just breathe."

"It's more than that." He replied, "Come on. Just-"

"I said no." I snapped lightly. He instantly backed up a step.

"Fair enough." He said, "But don't say I didn't warn you."

"I think I can handle it." I muttered, turning.

"You say that now." Eli replied, following.

I moved back to Jasper's side. I didn't like the way he pressured me, and I guess it'd become normal to go to Jasper. Sometime in the last several hours, I'd learned that he could keep me from doing something stupid. Instead of fighting it, I'd accepted that he was in charge. It made me feel a little better to know that.

"Avoid pushing her too much." Jasper told him, "I'd appreciate it."

"Jasper, what's she going to do tomorrow?" Eli asked, "You know as well as I do that this is unfair." I swear, I'd heard this conversation before. Two and a half years before. Darren brought up the same point, and I remembered how that night went down.

"Back off." I snapped, taking one step his direction. My anger increasing just quick enough to escape Jasper's assistance.

"Of course she's going to defend something like that." Eli wasn't happy, "It'd be like a drug to a newborn. Are you kidding me?"

I went to take another step, but Jasper caught my arm.

"I think she's capable of handling herself for a few hours." Jasper told him, pulling me behind him.

"Removing the responsibility of her own emotions is cruel." Eli replied firmly, "How is she ever going to learn?"

"I'm planning on working with her when the time comes." Jasper replied just as firmly, "Now if you wouldn't mind, please avoid angering her."

"Yeah, because it's a crime for her to feel anything, right?" Eli asked, "If you keep this up too long, she's going to turn on you, because she won't know what she's supposed to feel. Do you not know how intensely they feel? Did you forget that little detail?"

I took another step, and he instantly backed up. I couldn't do anything about Darren questioning Jasper when it happened, but I sure could do something about Eli.

"You don't know a damn thing." I told him, "Now. Back off."

He sighed, shaking his head, but he did back up again. Turning, and heading back across the yard.

"Princess." Mikah attempted to take my arm, but I jerked it from his hand with a growl, spinning to face him. He backed up a step as well, "Whoa."

"I'm tired of being touched." I snapped, though I didn't mean to. I took a breath as my sudden anger was gone, knowing Jasper had everything to do with that.

"Easy, Leandra." Jasper spoke up.

"Sorry." I sighed.

"I _will_ be working with you." He told me, "Everything's been so crazy, but after tomorrow, when things settle down, we will work on this. Don't hold it against Eli. He doesn't understand how something like this works. Keeping up appearances and dealing with human ties. He doesn't understand how that can cause delays."

I nodded a little.

"For now, just sit tight." He continued, "This is temporary."

"I guess sometimes, I just don't play well with others." I muttered, looking toward Eli again. I felt their gazes turn to me, but I didn't return them. Looking down instead.

"Leandra." Jasper obviously remembered me saying that just about a week before, "That day, the day you said that, what were you doing out there by the river?"

"Nothing." I sighed, "Just standing there. Thinking."

He didn't ask again, letting it drop, but he kept a closer eye on me the rest of the day.

I hunted again that night, having gone almost twelve hours without it during the day. I found despite the way I knew this wasn't the blood I was meant to have, it was something I looked forward to now. It wasn't the blood I was meant to have, but it was blood I _could_ have. As much of it as I wanted or could hold. Without severely diminishing the deer population, that is.

Edward and Jasper followed, probably just in case, but it was Emmett I was focused on.

Emmett taught me where bears liked to frequent. He didn't seem to mind watching me take down a bear. He just turned me in the right direction, and urged me on with a light shove and a chuckling, "Sick 'em, shorty."

They fought more than deer did. Especially when I pissed it off first, so it was a lot more entertaining, but only slightly more satisfying. It _was_ satisfying the way their claws and teeth did absolutely nothing to me. When they could land a hit or a bite, that was. My poor t-shirt, though, didn't stand a chance.

He even hunted one for himself, as it'd been awhile since his last bear. I didn't mind watching him either. It was almost fun to watch and learn from him. I noticed that the problem I _did_ have with keeping it pinned, was because of my size. How small I was wasn't made up by the fact that I was physically much stronger than it. I just couldn't get a good hold like Emmett could. Not for lack of trying, however.

We returned home just after midnight. I still wasn't satisfied, but I just couldn't take in any more blood.

"Bears, Emmett?" Alice sighed, coming to my side and lifting the shredded bottom half of my shirt.

"Hell yeah." He said, "I've been waiting to show her that for the last three hunts. I thought it was about time I could have some fun with her."

She sighed again, "Now she has to change clothes."

"Aw, why?" Emmett grinned, "That's a good look on her. I'm sure Mikah appreciates it." I growled a little, turning my eyes onto Mikah.

"Wait a minute." Mikah muttered, "What'd I do?"

Shaking her head, Alice led me toward the house.

"Emmett, you're going to get him hurt." Alice called behind her, "Knock it off."

Dawn was approaching. Fast, and I couldn't help feeling nervous. How far away would I be? How would I react when I had my own emotions back?

"You're _sure_ you can't be there?" I asked, looking up at Jasper. Cole waited for me, and I knew I couldn't stall for much longer.

"You can handle it." He assured me, "Just do your best to stay where someone can watch you. That's all I ask."

"If I could handle it, then why help me at all?" I asked in return.

"To make it easier for you to handle." He answered, "Just a few hours."

I sighed, and looked over to where Cole stood waiting.

"Go on." Jasper told me, and I hesitantly did as he said.

I finally got to see where everyone else spent most of their time. Further off in the forest, in a direction I'd never gone, was a small open clearing. It was a nice, quiet little area. Close enough to the house to hear what was going on, but far enough away where the scent couldn't reach us. However nice that was, or nerve-wracking, I found Jasper's gift no longer reached me either.

I could feel again, which made me very edgy. I eyed everyone there, and Cole waited patiently. Until I found someone familiar.

"Garrett."

He waved a little from where he leaned against the tree.

"You're staying here?"

"That's really not my thing." He shook his head, "So I left that up to the girls. They wanted to help with setting up. Besides, I figured Cole could use some help keeping an eye on you." I shrugged a little.

"By the way." He smirked, gesturing to all of me, "Nice."

"It's different."

"But it looks to me like you need to get those instincts under control." He was obviously referring to the way I refused to take another step closer.

"It's not like I've had a chance." I muttered, "Between constantly hunting, and being watched like a criminal in solitary, there wasn't a whole lot of opportunity."

"That's being a newborn for you." He chuckled, "I mean, how would it look if Carlisle just let you loose, and you leveled a city? Because you can't deny. That's exactly what you would do if given the chance."

"Probably." I sighed.

"So come on." He waved me forward, "Nobody's going to mess with you."

"You're okay." Cole told me easily, "Trust me."

"You're fine, Leandra." Eli called from his place in a tree, "Come on. Come sit with me."

I hesitated a moment longer, before crossing the clearing and scurrying up the tree as quickly as I could. Landing on the branch above him.

"There." Cole chuckled, "That's not so bad, is it?"

I bit my lip, not answering that. It actually did make me feel a little more secure. Being able to view things from above. Probably to make me feel more secure, nobody made a big fuss about me being there.

Here was where I'd be spending most of my time. While everyone showed up to the house to mourn my death. I closed my eyes as that thought crept through my mind, shaking my head.

I hated the idea. It bothered me a lot more than I'd been able to express before.

"You already look like you're ready to run." I looked down at Garrett at his observation, "Are we not entertaining enough?"

"No." I said, "It's not that."

"Then what's troubling you, cupcake?" I didn't like the slight condescending note to his tone.

"Bite me." I grumbled, standing up on the branch. I wanted to go higher. Higher was as alone as I was going to get here.

Garrett chuckled from the ground, obviously amused by that.

"I don't think she appreciated that." Eli laughed along with him as I pulled myself up the trunk of the tree easily.

"Do me a favor and make sure she stays up there, would you?" Garrett requested.

"Sure thing." Eli muttered. I was up as high as the tree went, standing on the highest branch it had. I could still hear them below me, so no doubt they could still hear me above them, but I didn't have to look at them. That helped slightly.

I stayed up there for a few hours. Hardly noticing. From where I stood, I could see the top floor of the house off in the distance. I felt a mix of emotions as I stared and listened to the muted voices that direction. A huge mix.

Like billowing storm clouds, or a rushing river of emotions. Everything thrown together, churning violently. I didn't know what to focus on first, and that bothered me. It really scared me how much anger was there, though I wasn't surprised. It was never a surprise when I felt anger covering the need to cry.

But here I was, stuck with all these emotions, and no way to effectively release them. Not only could I not cry, but if I let myself lose my temper like I really wanted to, I could really hurt someone. The problem was, even trying to talk about it wouldn't help either, as I didn't know how to express what I needed because I didn't know what I needed myself.

I gathered from the sound of traffic approaching the house, and moments later, increased voices in the house that it had started.

I stood there, as still as stone, hugging onto the trunk of the tree for another two hours or so. Listening closely. I could hear every word, every quiet sniffle or sob. This was torture.

It tore me up in two ways. It really hurt me.

I could hear their heartbeats from right where I was, but I also knew these were humans I couldn't hunt. No matter how much I desperately wanted to end my own pain. The physical restraint I needed to resist doing what I was designed to do was something I truly hadn't anticipated, which was why I stood so still.

Try as I might, I couldn't smell them. Though I knew the second I did, it'd take a miracle to stop me.

"Princess." I wasn't surprised when Mikah eventually climbed up below me. I'd heard him leave, and I heard him make it here. I stayed quiet, never even looking at him, "The stillness tells me you're thinking very hard about something."

"This is so hard." I murmured, my voice carried by the breeze, "This hurts so much. Every word I hear breaks my heart even more."

"I'll admit," He told me gently, "It's not easy. It never gets easier, but I never had to go through this. I can't tell what's worse, to be honest. My family is stuck hoping I'm alive somewhere. Your humans believe you're gone forever, but that's how it should be."

"I cared about these people most." I shook my head, "They meant the most to me. After my family, of course. Zack blames himself so much. What I wouldn't _give_ to just tell him that I was fine."

"I know." He sighed, lifting himself up onto my branch, "But this way, they get closure."

"What I wouldn't _give_ to just tell him that it wasn't his fault." I continued, "It's not fair. It hurts _so_ much, but I can't cry about it. It's killing me, tearing me up, and I can only stand here and force myself to deal with it, because of what I am."

"Who you are." Mikah corrected me, "Is someone stronger than we could ever have dreamed. It hurts. I'm hurting with you, princess. We all are, but all this is, is just another chapter opening in your life. The closing of one book, and the next has yet to be written."

"The start of a new life." I murmured, "And it has to start with _this_. A funeral for someone who never died, but I wasn't ready to tell them goodbye."

"No one ever really is." He replied, "I wasn't ready to tell my brother and sisters goodbye either, but it's just something we can't control. It's not fair, and I agree with you there, but this is the best way. It's got to be this way now. There's no going back. You're an outsider now. Looking from the outside, watching them continue on the way humans are meant to."

I whimpered, hugging tighter to the trunk of the tree. It cracked quietly, and I instantly eased my grip with a soft gasp, sadly looking it over. It only reminded me of why I was here, standing on the outside and wanting nothing more than to just be over there again. Mikah watched quietly, sadly as I looked down.

"We all face this." Mikah saw my expression, "We've all been where you are. You're not alone. You're not the first newborn to experience this, and you won't be the last. Believe me. I've been where-"

"Just _stop_ it." I finally turned, looking at him. He stood there, still dressed in his formal clothes from the house. I hardly paid any attention to that though, "Yes, I get it, okay? I know I'm not the first or only one going through this, but it doesn't help me to know that. It only makes me feel stupid for feeling everything I'm feeling, and that just makes everything else worse.

"I have no _clue_ what I'm doing standing here." I continued, gesturing off in the distance to the house, "I should be there. I'm not supposed to be here. I _died_, remember? I don't even know how."

"In the water." Mikah answered, and I looked to him again.

"Like before?" I asked, confused.

"Not exactly." He hesitated a little, "You were there, by the river with Josh and Zack. Zack had the stupid idea to jump across the river, and goaded you to follow." That sounded like him, "You made it. You were fine, but Hunter.. Not so much."

I stood there, silently as I waited for him to continue.

"You managed to save him, but Zack didn't have the strength he needed to pull you up, and eventually, he couldn't hold onto you anymore. You fell head first straight into the river. When you landed, you broke your neck in three places."

I closed my eyes, looking down.

"You were still alive when Carlisle got to you, but you weren't breathing. That function had stopped. You'd inhaled too much water, thanks to the way you landed, but your heart was still beating. Very shallowly, and very unevenly. Which told us you were moments from being there, Leandra." He gestured to the house as well.

"I don't remember any of this." I whispered, shaking my head.

"I didn't have the strength to turn you myself." Mikah continued, "Carlisle was the one that made the bites needed to save your life."

"The boys." I frowned, "They had to have seen-"

"Esme took them back to the house before Carlisle did anything out of the ordinary. Only doing what was needed to keep you alive enough to accept the venom." He explained, "It took Heather about five seconds to get there. Esme had to explain what happened, and Carlisle had to call them that night to tell them the news. That you hadn't made it, which they really didn't take very well."

"That's why Zack blames himself so much." I murmured, looking toward the house again, "It really wasn't his fault. Sure, he'd made a stupid decision, but who doesn't?"

I fell silent, the sadness getting worse. To an intense, undeniable level.

"Leandra," Mikah spoke up again, "I'm really sorry."

"Just leave me alone." I sighed, and before he could say anything more, I jumped.

I landed on the ground below easily, and instantly ran. I heard the brief panic behind me, and a sad sigh of, "I warned them." From Eli, before I wasn't listening anymore. Choosing not to listen seemed a whole lot easier than wondering about them.

Just like that, I understood what Jasper had been getting at. Changing, rearranging my thoughts to focus on just myself was exactly what I did before. Choosing not to worry about everyone else, and only choosing to worry about the ones worth worrying about.

If he'd just put it that way, I would have understood!

I didn't know where I was going, but I wanted to get as far from the reminder of my own death as I could. I couldn't handle this. I didn't have this problem before. I wasn't this at war with myself before. Maybe because I never had the chance to be.

I ran. As fast as I could. Something I'd had suppressed from the very beginning was the pain. Jasper covered it, and I denied it.

As my heart turned to stone, it solidified the cracks and tears in it. The pain I felt over the life I'd had, and I finally understood that just because I was living a new life now, all the stuff before didn't just disappear. It didn't just magically cease to exist. It was still there, still hurting me and I didn't know how to handle that.

I understood now just how much a human life could influence a newborn. Was I going to stay this way? Was this pain all I had to look forward to until the end of time? Or was this something everyone had to deal with? Was this just me? Or was this normal? I didn't know, and I wasn't sure I wanted to. Left alone with my emotions like this was something Jasper seemed so sure I could handle, but I wasn't ready! I wasn't ready!

The pain angered me. I _shouldn't_ have to feel this way.

Especially when my sobs no longer held tears. No more relief in crying, no more comfort in shedding a tear. I was trapped with this pain, with no way to relieve it on my own. I needed to feel these things, I needed to keep them to understand them, even if they did scare me, but how could I keep them when they hurt me so badly? These emotions. This pain and this anger. How was I supposed to handle them without a way to handle them?

How was I supposed to ease this? How was I supposed to live with this pain? With no way to ease it, no way to calm it..

I continued on, determined to get as far away from my emotions as possible. Attempting to run from the way I felt, despite knowing that wouldn't work. The anger I felt, the pain and fear I felt made me snarl as I ran. Letting out a feral growl, glaring straight ahead. My limbs shook with strength I never noticed before, and I pushed even faster. Faster than I'd run before.

When I finally came to a stop, I gave a quick look around me, before shoving my fist into a tree. My dying human instinct expected this action to cause me pain, so I flinched away at first.

When nothing happened but the tree's bark exploding, before the entire tree falling to the earth, I just stared at first. Just as I had with throwing Emmett, my strength confused me a little. How perfectly indestructible I was.

A tiny bit of healing, the slightest hint of calm entered my heart as I saw that. That's all I needed to do. Destroy things. Rational thinking was something I was never good at. Even in my human life, that's how it was, but now, I could. Through my anger, and my pain, I could think.

I knew better than to near any sort of town. I knew that at any hint of exposure, they would hunt me down. I had to stay away from any humans, any town at all costs. As pleasing as destroying Seattle sounded at that particular moment, I had to control the storm. I couldn't risk being caught. Not by Aro. That'd just make his entire fucking day.

Slamming my fist into another larger tree, I received the same result. Three, four, five more times until all that were sitting in the ground where the six fully grown trees had been were stumps. I didn't feel the slightest bit tired, so I reached down and pulled the stumps out of the ground, the roots ripping apart like wet tissue paper before I tossed them a good distance away. The cracking sound they made seemed to echo in my mind, numbing it for a few seconds.

I stood in the center of the unnatural clearing, looking around myself. I breathed slowly, smelling all the scents of the forest around me.

In the silence, I recalled exactly what was going on several miles away. I was supposed to be dead. Gone forever from the lives of the people I'd found happiness in. I had my family, but I'd lost the other half of my family for good. Just because of one stupid moment I had to prove myself.

The weight of the sadness returned, and despite my strength, it pressed me to my knees. I pressed my hands to the earth, wishing I could just crush it to dust. I hung my head with the pain, letting out a tearless sob. I clenched my teeth, and my eyes shut tightly.

I _wasn't_ prepared for this. I wasn't ready! Things had just started to go right. Things had just started looking up, and suddenly, overnight things changed. I changed. I was changed.

My entire life ended, and this new one began. Who was I now? What was I now? I knew what I was, but at the same time, I didn't. I wasn't this confused before, and suddenly, this was all brand new to me. My reactions, my instincts, my actions were all different, and I didn't know myself anymore.

I was moving, being pushed forward when all I wanted was to just go back. I wanted to go back _so_ badly, but I knew this time, I wouldn't wake up. This was real. Not some stupid vision I was stuck in.

I squeezed my eyes shut tighter, as if willing myself to wake up. To restart again, to go back. I'd give anything to end this pain. Not just the craving for blood I could never have, but the pain of these emotions. Like this was just some bad dream, some vision I was stuck in like before.

I looked up, looked around myself. I was still right where I was.

I knew I needed to get it together, and soon. The only ones in the world who'd know what I was going through right then were the ones doing the pushing and tugging, pulling me forward when I resisted so vehemently. The only ones in the world who'd understand what I was feeling were several miles away, and I kneeled there on my own. Restricted by rules nobody was enforcing right then.

I clenched my fingers into the dirt, squeezing as hard as I could. I wasn't done causing destruction, and I knew it, but I had to pace myself. The humans might notice a thinning of their forest if I were to keep up my pattern. Even on my own, I felt caged. Chained down. Only able to do things, living by the one main rule I knew. Keep our existence a secret. I knew that rule. I'd known that rule since even before I was turned.

I was free, but I hated it.

Slowly, I stood back up. I felt caged, but at that moment, I realized that that cage door was wide open. Right at that moment, I was feral, and I was completely on my own.

That thought alone was enough to send me in the direction of the nearest town. No chance to decide, no second of hesitation. I just started running.

Before I could get three steps, however, I was blind-sided.

Roughly tackled to the ground and freshly turned soil. I fought as hard as I could, but in the position I was in, that was very difficult. Face down in the dirt. My head was pinned at the neck, full weight on my arms pinned behind my back. I pulled, twisted and bucked, but they weren't giving up.

"Think for a second." Mikah had followed me, "Don't do this to yourself."

I tried again, nearly having it, but he just changed his grip, holding me tighter.

After a bit, I growled, but stopped struggling. He could tell by how still I'd gotten that I was listening.

"I care about you too much to let you go." He told me gently, "You know your family would forgive you for hunting humans, but I really doubt you'd ever forgive yourself. You know I'm right."

"It's not fair."

With a surge of strength, I fought free, shoving him off of me. He tumbled back, and I flew to my feet, rounding on him and pouncing.

We struggled and wrestled, and I had to admit. He was tough to get a hold of. Especially given his experience, but I eventually landed on top of him. Pinning him to the ground, straddling his stomach and pinning his arms with a growl and bared teeth.

"I agree." He told me quickly, "It sucks. Nobody is denying that, but I swear on my life, that if you _ever_ run off to cause trouble, I'll always be right behind you. I'll follow you anywhere, even if it means facing the consequences right alongside you."

That shut me up. My teeth unbared themselves, and I looked down at him. He took this moment of silence as an opportunity to keep talking.

"Tantrums are normal, and expected, but when it starts threatening the humans, it's time to step in." He murmured, "That's why I'm here. To keep you from proving yourself right, because _nobody_ deserves that."

Slowly, I released my hold on his arms and sat back. He'd really do that for me?

He sat up slowly, as if trying to keep from startling me or knocking me off of him. His arms coming up to hold onto me. I didn't know what to say. Sitting there like that on his lap, I could only search his eyes. Trying so hard to understand.

"I'm so sorry about what happened to you, princess." His voice was soft. Quieter than the breeze that blew by, but I heard every word, "I know you're confused. You're lost, and you're scared, but if you'd let me, I'll be the one to help you."

I sighed, shaking my head, "Jasper-"

"Jasper can be the one that trains you. To teach you about how to be a newborn." He explained, "He can teach you control, and how to fight, but I'll be the one to help you through all of that. I'll show you what it means to live in a life like this. How to live.." He trailed off, reaching up and clearing my hair from my eyes, "And love.. Forever."

I really didn't know what to say to that. There were so many thoughts rushing through my mind at what I heard from him. What was he doing? Didn't he know I was dangerous now? Slowly, very slowly, he leaned forward and pressed his forehead against mine.

He'd done that before, but it felt completely different now. Not only was his skin the same temperature as mine now, it felt soft to me. No longer cold or stone hard, but the same. We were the same.

I let my eyes close, and gently pressed my forehead back against his. In the oddest sort of way, this closeness was comforting. It eased me in a way I never thought would be possible. Not for me. I never expected to calm from my earlier anger, but he eased it. Softened it into something different, and soothing.

He slowly tilted his head forward just enough for our noses to touch. I felt every movement he made, and I knew he wasn't going to overstep. Every soft, careful movement he made was meant to comfort me, not push me or pressure me.

"I'm not going anywhere, princess." He whispered, "Not ever."

The only way I could respond was by raising my arms a bit and hugging him carefully. He immediately returned my hug, holding me close. Each breath I took in, I breathed in his scent, and it calmed the angry part of my heart. I didn't understand it, how a scent could do that, but I wasn't exactly up to asking questions at that point.

It got to the point where I'd breathe deeper, just to take in his scent until I was positive I'd know it anywhere. He had a scent that seemed very earthy. Not quite rugged, or sharp, but tingly. It made me think greatly of the strongest, stillest pine scent, just after a fresh coating of snow in the middle of the night. I'd noticed it before, but never this strongly.

Before, I'd taken in his scent fleetingly. Just enough to know it was him, but now it was right there. The only scent I searched for in each breath in. It calmed me, eased me, and I felt like I'd just found my favorite scent in the world.

It made my head swim. Almost like it intoxicated me, but I didn't want to say that, for fear of sounding crazy. I'd just enjoy it while it was so close to me. I didn't want to say that, but I wasn't willing to move away from it, either.

"I'm here." He told me softly, his fingers playing in the soft ends of my hair laying down my back, "I'll always be right here. As long as you want me to be."

I ignored the sound of thunder above us, and not even the sudden drenching rain could make me let him go. It only made me hold him more securely, smiling a little to myself as I realized that I could hear every individual raindrop hit the earth around us. I could feel each individual raindrop hit my skin, and instead of it being cold or uncomfortable, I didn't care in the least. It felt good, and the rain brought his scent to me stronger.

"Don't tell me that." I whispered, "I'll believe it."

"That's not a bad thing." He replied, "Believe it all you want, because it's true."

"I'll never be what you're looking for."

"That's impossible." He smiled slightly, and I pulled back a little to look at him, "Because all I'm looking for is you. Nothing more. I know you're confused, but as selfish as it is of me, I'm not willing to let you go."

"But-"

"Just feel, princess." He murmured softly, reaching up again and slowly smoothing the palm and fingers of his hand over my cheek. Where it felt good before, comforting, it felt amazing now. A thousand times more comforting, and it squeezed emotion from me I wasn't sure how to feel.

I leaned into the contact, closing my eyes again, "All I'm asking of you is to just feel. Just like this. I promise I'll be here. I'm still learning myself, but I can show you what it means to be who you are. There's far more to it than you've experienced before or even imagined."

I knew the fact that I was silent kept him talking. I wanted him to keep talking. It was odd, like he knew exactly what I needed to hear.

"Don't be afraid." He urged quietly, "You're safe. You're perfectly safe right here with me. I just need you to trust me." I couldn't help it. My hand came up, covering his lightly on my cheek. I was suddenly curious. I opened my eyes, and brought my other hand up, gently and carefully smoothing over his cheek in return.

He smiled at the contact, holding my gaze. The comfort I actually felt in returning the gesture was beginning to make me see what he meant about just feeling. It really did seem that simple. I didn't want to hurt him, so I kept focus on my hand, keeping my touch light.

I'd never done anything like that before, always too nervous about having my hand too near his mouth, but now I could do it. Slowly, he turned his head enough to kiss the palm of my hand softly. I had to smile, as the action tickled slightly.

I tensed a little, letting my hand fall and looking over at the sound of someone's sudden arrival.

"Well." I stood up swiftly, breaking away from the still moment with Mikah at Cole's quiet chuckle, "Don't let me interrupt."

Mikah sighed heavily, falling back in irritation, "Too late for that, man."

Cole chuckled again, "My apologies. It's just you two have been gone for a bit. I thought I'd come and check." I stood there, feeling awkward.

"I was _this_ close." Mikah whimpered, covering his face.

I started my run back toward the home away from home. I knew exactly where I was going, so it wasn't hard to think while I ran. What _was_ that back there? I hadn't meant to give in like that, but I couldn't help it.

I missed it, and feared it all at the same time.

I made it to the group eventually, sliding to a stop and choosing the same tree to stand in all in the same second. I knew they watched me climb the tree, but didn't stop to offer any explanations. I just pulled myself up until I ran out of branches to climb higher. Right back to where I started.

"What happened?" I heard from the ground. Dess seemed worried.

"Cole has horrible timing." Mikah's voice both made me nervous and happy at the same time. I was conflicted in so many ways. I didn't know if I wanted him to stay down there, or climb up after me. I didn't know if I wanted to run away or stay right where I was. I didn't know if I wanted to push him away or hug him again.

"These things take time, Mikah." Cole chuckled, "Just give her time. You've given your position. Now let her come to you." I rolled my eyes. It was a little more complicated than that. It had to be.

"Yeah," Dess muttered skeptically, "Because it always works that way."

"What?" Cole asked, confused.

"You have _so_ much to learn about flighty females." Dess sighed, "Just keep doing what you're doing, Mikah. That's all she wants. It'll evolve when it evolves. Patience is the key, but don't let her think you're backing off, or she will too. Be there, but don't pressure, or the pressure will send her running. Show interest, but not too much interest, or she'll take that as pressure, and it'll send her running. She's going through a hard time right now. Follow her signals. You know what to look for."

"I do?" Mikah seemed just as confused as Cole was.

"You do." She laughed, "This is just Leandra. You've known her for several years. You know pretty much everything there is to know about her. Only.. She's a little more risky now. The fact that you were able to get that close to her without her ripping your arm off is promising."

"She wouldn't rip my arm off." Mikah murmured, surprised.

"She would if she was rejecting you." Dess replied, "Guaranteed. Females are different. They're very easy to read if you know what to look for, but if you get the words wrong, they're quick to let you know. Especially newborns."

"That's comforting." Mikah mumbled, and I smirked a little.

"Especially newborns like Leandra." Dess clarified, "Ones who've been hurt before. I used to be like her, so I can understand."

"You?" He asked, surprised.

"Why do you think it took Cole so long?" She asked in return, "I knew he was interested. I was just.. I guess I was unsure." She paused, "But you, Mikah, you have a real shot. You're someone she knew and trusted before she was turned. Just don't blow it, or _I'll_ be the one ripping an arm off."

"Thanks." He seemed nervous now.

"Why didn't I get these instructions?" Cole asked, his tone incredulous.

"It wouldn't have meant a damn thing if I'd had to tell you." She replied, coming to his side, "There's something special about you having to figure it out on your own, and succeeding." Mikah laughed a little.

"So what are you waiting for?" She demanded of Mikah, "Get up there. If she wants her space, you'll know it before you even reach her."

As it turned out, I did want my space. My instincts chose for me. I heard his approach, and instantly jumped, landing on the ground while he was still in the tree. I quickly crossed the small clearing, standing beside Eli.

Up in the tree, I heard Mikah sigh. I felt bad, but I really did need my space. I didn't understand what had happened, and I was mad at both myself, and Mikah for confusing me that way.

"Want to hunt?" I asked, looking to Eli.

"Uh." Garrett spoke up, "Only if you promise not to run off. I'm not becoming the reason you get to slip up."

"I've been good hunting so far." I frowned, "I only ran off that one time."

"I'd come along, but.." Mikah trailed off.

"Good idea." Dess laughed a little, "I'll go."

"As will I." Cole offered, "I suggest we go northeast. _Away_ from the house."

"Obviously." Dess rolled her eyes, "No, we're going to lead her straight at the house and say 'Have fun'."

I bit back a whine at just the thought, glancing off in the direction of the house.

Dess moved forward, taking my hand.

"Let's go find some tasty deer." She smiled at me.

"Oh, I can hardly contain my excitement." I grumbled, and Eli snorted.

"Wait." I froze, surprised at Alice's sudden arrival beside me. I must not have been paying much attention, "Don't go out. Stay here."

"What?" I asked, "Why?"

"I'll explain later." She assured me, before looking to the others, "Stay here. Don't let her out to hunt. She'll be alright. She's only trying to avoid Mikah anyway."

"You're sure?" Dess asked, confused.

"Positive." She said, "Just trust me." She looked to me again, "And trust me. Go for it." I frowned, very confused at this point, "I have to get back, but _keep_ her here. It shouldn't be more than a few hours more." She stressed that like it was the most important thing in the world.

"Sure thing." Garrett replied, just as lost as we all were. If I didn't know better..

"Alice?" I asked, and she looked to me again, "Can you see me now?"

"I'll explain later." She repeated, giving me a quick hug, before she was suddenly gone. I didn't even have time to return it in my surprise.

"Well, I'm not one to go against Alice." Garrett sighed, "So let's turn your ass right around." I sighed, but did as he said. Truthfully, I was a little worried attempting to go anywhere while Alice was so against it. I followed him back into the clearing, heading slowly for my favorite tree.

Alice had trouble seeing me from the moment I first met her, and over time, I'd disappeared completely, along with most situations I was anywhere near. How could she suddenly see me now?

"That was odd." Mikah muttered.

"Tell me about it." I replied, frowning over at him.

"Have either of you ever tried it? Hunting deer?" Eli was asking Dess and Cole as they came closer.

"I've never exactly wanted to." Dess replied, coming to my side, "I'm pretty satisfied with my diet."

"But it's people." Garrett pointed out, "Haven't humans grown on you over the last few years?"

"Should they have?" Cole asked in reply, "To be honest, the only human I considered worth my time was Leandra."

"Charming." I looked over.

"Have you forgotten how undeniably cute you were back then?" Cole asked, "This tiny little human, all home alone. How could I not get attached?"

"Or escaping some graduation party I couldn't stand?" I asked, and he grinned.

"She's still undeniably cute." Eli pointed out, "Just in a violent little animal sort of way."

I reached over and shoved Eli head-first, straight into a tree. The shuddering of the tree told me I should have shoved him harder.

"I stand corrected." He muttered as he straightened himself, "A strong, violent little animal."

"Eli." Dess sighed.

"What?" He asked defensively, "It's not my fault she takes compliments badly."

"You said I was little." I sniffed.

"Would you rather be a hippopotamus?"

"Are you calling me fat?"

"I can't win." He sighed, "Mikah can have her." I growled, glaring.

"Alright." Garrett spoke up, "Can we just stop the bickering? Please? Eli, you go over there."

"Sure." Eli chuckled, "Leandra can stay here and diet."

For the first time, I actually meant to hit him as hard as I did. Landing my fist against his stomach, he curled in on himself, falling to the ground in pain. I never thought that move would work on our kind, but it was very satisfying to know it did.

With a satisfied huff, I turned and pulled myself up the tree. The sound of the snickering below me as Mikah pulled himself up with me had me smile a little.

"I owe you one for that." Eli called up after me.

"You wouldn't hit me." I called down, clinging where I stopped on the trunk of the tree, "Not someone as small and fragile like me."

"Watch yourself, powder-puff."

"Uh-oh."

Mikah muttered that just as I shoved away from the tree, landing directly in front of Eli. This time, I hit him hard enough to send him back quite a distance.

I turned back to the tree, to see Mikah had descended enough to watch.

"Leandra." He said, "One thing you should always remember-"

Before he could even finish saying what he was saying, I was tackled. I flew forward, and hit the ground just like I did that first night, only with Eli's arms pinning me instead of Emmett's.

I growled, and my fight instantly started.

Breaking his hold a whole lot easier than I'd broken Emmett's, I rolled away while grabbing a tight hold of his arm and standing. Rounding, I slammed him face-first this time into the same tree. Hard enough to splinter the bark through several layers.

Before he could even recover, I was up the next tree over, higher than Mikah.

The group around us was laughing hysterically. I watched below as Eli pushed away from the tree with a growl, looking up at me.

"Let it go, man." One of Eli's coven laughed, "At least until her newborn glory fades." I ascended the tree to the left over laughter. Mikah right behind me. I sure wished he'd stop following me, but he was good for protection at least. I knew he'd never let Eli actually hurt me.

I stayed clear of Eli for the rest of the afternoon. Spending the majority of the evening up in the tree. It was quiet out tonight, everybody below me silent now, but still vigilant. I tried my best to ignore Mikah's presence beside me, despite being fully aware of it.

I watched off toward the house, the darkening area not hindering my view at all. An odd sort of calm sadness held me now, the anger eased for the time being. I thought back to earlier. What Cole had interrupted. I thought really hard about that. It was almost difficult to concentrate on anything else.

What had all that been? He'd gotten to me so easily.

"Did you mean what you said?" I asked quietly. As quietly as I could, not wanting to disturb those below us, "Earlier?"

"Every single word." Mikah replied just as quietly.

"I _want_ to believe you. So much."

"I've never lied to you, princess." He murmured, "But I can understand how hesitant you'd be. Nothing has to change, okay? I'll be here no matter what. Nothing will change unless you want it to."

I sighed, heavily relieved. I turned, looking to him standing there. With those words, he'd given me permission to take things as slowly as I wanted to. I could hug him, and be close to him without worrying about him thinking it meant more than it did.

"Thank you." I whispered, hesitantly stepping closer to him. Hugging him as carefully as I could. He softly returned the hug, holding me like he always used to. Like nothing had changed. Like I hadn't changed. That was all I wanted. It comforted me enough to hug him tighter. Being careful, as I knew I could hurt him if I wasn't careful enough.

"It's alright, cub."

I smiled at that name, my eyes closing. God, how was he so perfect? How did he know? I took a breath, inhaling his scent so close to me. This meant more to me than I thought it would. Him being there, comforting me just by standing there, much less holding me.

Gently, he rested his chin on the top of my head, and I wouldn't have had it any other way. I felt completely protected right there, something I had never even knew was possible like this.

Not even the sound of others approaching could pull me away from him right then. I had to work at it. To force myself away from him, as I clearly recognized each scent coming closer.

It was Jasper. Alice and Carlisle along with him.

I stepped back, looking up at him as Cole greeted Carlisle. A silent look passed between him and I, the late evening daylight playing with his eyes in a beautiful way, as I gently grasped his hand, holding it securely in mine.

He offered a small smile, until he leaned forward, and pressed a soft, brushing kiss against my forehead. I took one more inhale of his scent before I released his hand, and dropped from the tree.

"Please." Eli was there when I made it to Jasper's side, "Take that little animal home."

I avoided getting too closely to him, taking the long way around.

"Too much for you to handle, Eli?" Mikah chuckled, coming up behind me.

"I think she's picked me as her punching bag." Eli muttered, shocked, "How is that fair?"

"Don't _ever_ call me powder-puff again."

"Fine, hippo."

I lunged for him, and he took off running. I figured he was playing by the sound of his laugh. I growled a little, but held myself back from following him. Choosing to stay beside Jasper instead, which must have been the right move as Alice took my hand.

**A/N: It's a little shorter than I'd planned, as I had to take a major scene out. Can't have everything happening all at once, can we?  
THANK YOU to my ASTOUNDING reviewers! :D Love it! Eee!**  
**Chapter seven may take some time, as I haven't yet started it. I've caught up to myself. :( But never fear. It'll be along soon enough.**  
**Short A/N this time guys. Pretty worn out over here.**  
**Until Seven, my friends! :D**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

I had to stay outside, as the scent of the humans that had been by was just way too much for me to handle. Everybody had already left, but I could smell their scent from the house, the smell hitting me like a ton of bricks. There was no way I was going inside.

Despite being outside, I had to ask, "Can we open a window?"

It was all I could do to keep from writhing on the ground. It hurt so much. Had there been any lingering humans, I _would_ have instantly lost it. I was fairly sure Jasper was helping me again, which was why I was still standing there at all. I had to admit. After spending several hours without it, I was grateful for Jasper's gift.

"Hold your breath." Carlisle suggested, "That should help." I instantly did as he said, despite being mid-breath, with a small nod. I saw the problem of holding my breath immediately. I had questions.

"She's curious, Alice." I looked over as Edward stepped outside, Bella in tow, "About what you told her earlier."

Beside me, Alice sighed, looking down before she looked to me.

"I've been able to see you since you woke up." She admitted, "You weren't the only one that didn't know. I didn't want to say anything, in case it was just a one time thing, but I can see you again. Which is how I knew what would have happened had you been allowed to hunt today. I knew you wouldn't hurt me the other night."

"How?" One word was acceptable, and it perfectly summed up what I needed to know. I understood now that she could see me, but how?

"I can only think of one reason why I can see you now." She murmured, "Tell me honestly, Leandra. Have you had any sense of knowing? Any visions yet?"

"I haven't exactly been trying to." I replied honestly, forgetting for the moment that I should have been saving my breath, "I haven't even thought of it, actually." I turned my face to a breeze, thankful for the opportunity it gave me.

"My thoughts.." She sighed, "You never had a chance to develop your gift. No matter what you tried, it just never came to you. When you were turned, it closed off the opportunity to."

"Can that happen?" I asked, shocked.

"I'd say it's definitely possible." Carlisle murmured, and I looked to him, "If the change can strengthen a natural gift, it can definitely take it away."

"So I'm normal?" I asked, almost unable to believe it.

"There's really only one way to test it." Alice murmured.

"No." I said instantly, knowing what she was getting at. The point she was referring to. I was still dead set against it. I wasn't willing to see Aro, not for any reason.

"Leandra-"

"No." I said, "I can't. I can't." I hesitated, "And besides. What happens if he shows up, takes my hand, and fixes everything? Then you can't see me anymore?" I shook my head, and took a step back. Jasper immediately countered, staying within arms reach. That just made me more nervous, "I won't. I swear, if you ever try to make me face him, I'll run and.. I'll never stop. I won't do it. I won't see him. I won't face him."

"Easy." Alice sighed, trying to calm me down as she came to my side, "It was just a suggestion."

"Don't." I actually whimpered, "Don't suggest that. Not ever. How much I hate him hasn't changed. If anything, it's gotten worse, now that I can do something about it."

Those memories, along with the rest of the original vision, were crystal clear to me. Real, as if it had happened. To me, it had happened, so there was no way I was facing the one who put me through such hell.

"Relax." She told me, and I eyed her nervously, "It's okay."

"What else have you seen, Alice?" Carlisle, thankfully, decided to change the subject. I moved closer to his side, moving away from where Jasper seemed all too ready to pin me if I tried to run.

"Jack is hiding out in Oregon." I looked down at the mention, "I don't know the exact location, as it looks like many places I've seen, but I know he's there. The humans there cover his scent effectively, and give plenty of hunting opportunities. I think it's safe to say that Aro is way off."

I stayed quiet.

"He must be expecting Jack to be in remote areas." Carlisle murmured, "Not populated ones."

"That's exactly what it is." Alice sighed, "I mean, how many of us expected that?" She paused, "As far as I can tell, Leandra hasn't even crossed his mind since I've been able to see him. He's more concerned with laying low than he is with her."

"That doesn't mean he's given up." I muttered.

"Leandra." Jasper's quiet voice had me shutting up.

"I'll definitely be letting you know if that changes, Leandra." Alice assured me.

"How would he even know to lay low?" Emmett asked, and I hesitated, looking to Mikah. The answer moving through my thoughts before I could stop it. Edward looked to me, surprised.

"Really?" He asked, shocked, "And you've never told us this?"

"What?" Alice asked, "What is it?"

"She gave him warning." Edward replied, "The night she found out Aro was going to be looking for him, Jack found her when Mikah took her for some space. She warned him."

"Why would you do that?" Jasper asked, just as shocked.

I didn't know how to answer that question.

"After all we've done to catch him?" Jasper continued, "This could have been over a long time ago."

"Jazz." Alice murmured, just as I took a single step back.

He took a breath, closing his eyes for a moment. Calming himself down.

"It was just a fleeting mention in the conversation." Mikah spoke up, "I doubt she even realized what she was doing."

"You guys could have at least told us." Emmett muttered quietly.

"I felt like that was a very personal accomplishment for her." Mikah replied, "I felt like she deserved to keep that to herself. What she did that night was amazing."

"The point is, he could have killed you both." Edward added, "That wouldn't have been a very positive accomplishment, and as she recalls, he very nearly did."

"I wasn't scared." I snapped his direction.

"You were probably still in shock over what happened with Aro." Edward replied sharply, "Something like that shouldn't be taken lightly."

I didn't appreciate the way he waved off what I considered a very brave moment in my life as if it were nothing, and I expressed that with a quiet growl. That was a turning point in my life. That moment was what changed me. It meant something to me, and he was telling me it was only caused by stupid shock?

"We're getting off topic." Carlisle spoke up, and I looked up at him, "What's done is done."

"Yes," Esme spoke up from his other side, "I think we've done enough of that in the past. We need to think ahead now."

"I agree." Alice murmured, looking to Jasper, "How it happened doesn't matter. Not anymore. The point is, I know he's not currently after her. That should be news enough."

I didn't miss the way she looked to Edward.

"Later." Edward told her, "Not now." I didn't feel like demanding to know their little secret.

"So," Alice took his advice as she looked to me, her tone brightening significantly. Too significantly, "You're still undecided."

I immediately looked down.

"About what?" Emmett asked.

I sighed, "Alice-"

"Do you know how exciting this is for me?" She asked, laughing a little, "I get to see you! You're going to deal with that. Tell me. Why are you still undecided? What is there to be undecided about?" At a loss for words, I looked to Mikah. He seemed to be just as embarrassed as I was.

"What?" Emmett asked, confused. I was still confused about that particular emotion. Besides the confusion, I knew for certainty that Emmett would throw a fit if I ever showed to be more than friends with Mikah. He was always that way.

"Nothing." I sighed, "Can we stop? I don't want to talk about this."

"Can't you see how perfect it is?" She grinned, and to my surprise, instead of getting mad, I smiled a little, turning away in hopes she didn't see it. I _had_ seen how perfect he was, but that didn't mean I was willing to give in like I had to.

"Am I allowed to go hunting yet?" I asked instead of answering, looking to Alice again.

"As long as I can go with you." She smiled, "I'm not done talking about this."

I figured what the hell. I'd just ignore her. I needed to hunt. Especially with the human scent driving me crazy.

Jasper refused to stay behind, but instead of Emmett, Carlisle agreed to come along. I felt a little better about that. Somehow with Carlisle there, I felt less likely to play around.

Thankfully, we stopped to pick up Cole and Dess as well, just for a little extra strength in case it was needed, so Alice had someone to chirp to about Mikah so I could pay attention. I just wished she would stop talking about it so I could figure out what I wanted.

Jasper, Cole and Carlisle all stood a few feet away, talking quietly. I crouched there on a large boulder, waiting for another opportunity to stumble by instead of going looking for one, as Alice and Dess stood around the bottom. Alice demanding answers from me.

"Really." Alice said, "I mean, I can understand your hesitancy to a point, but you've known him for nearly four years. You knew him as a human. He knew you as a human. You grew up with him in your life. You two are so compatible, it's painful and you're hesitating. Why?"

"I don't _know_." I sighed in irritation, "Maybe the fact that he's a guy?"

"So?" She asked, "Would you-"

"Don't even ask that." I muttered, "That's not what I meant. It's not like that." I sighed again, simultaneously checking the air for a scent I could hunt.

"I can understand where she's coming from." Dess told her, "Cut her some slack. I mean, she's got all of eternity to figure out what she wants to do. What's the big rush?"

"I've been planning her wedding since she was ten years old."

"Oh." I had to laugh a little, finding that amusing, "That's comforting."

"And Mikah is _perfect_." Alice continued as if I hadn't just scoffed, "Have you seen them together?"

"Okay, so you have a point there." Dess laughed a little, along with Alice, "But I say just let her decide on her own. You know? Pressuring her will probably just make her decide against it. I see your point. I really do, but I also know what she's feeling."

"You said you had a past like mine." I spoke up, and Dess looked to me, "What did you mean by that?"

"I grew up much the same way you did." She admitted quietly, "My childhood was not nearly as severe as yours was, but it was along the same lines. Only my mother had helped my father with the abuse."

I didn't know what to say to that.

"It was a very long time ago, when there weren't many laws set for protecting children, so I just did what I could to survive, until I was finally old enough to leave, taking my little sister with me. I was turned at nineteen, and never looked back."

"After you were turned.." I murmured, interested, "Did you have trouble?"

"With emotions?" She asked, and I nodded a little, "That eases pretty quickly, darling. Don't worry."

"Why does it hurt so much?" I had to ask, "I've never felt like that before."

"The way it was explained to me, is after you're turned, a part of your mind remains human for a short time. That's the memories and the emotions, and now that you have more room to give them, your reactions are stronger. Until that human part fades, it's going to hurt.

"Sometimes, however, it doesn't fade away. Especially for those that refuse to let it go. For whatever reason. Mostly those who had to be turned as a result of abuse or violence like that."

Meaning, people like Rosalie. She couldn't let it go, because it was _because_ of her mistreatment that she had to be turned. I couldn't imagine that. That had to be so hard. Just the thought of Jack being the reason I needed to be turned had me shudder a little. That would be far worse than just falling head-first into some river.

"But they can still be happy." I pointed out.

Rosalie was happy with Emmett. I could very easily see how much of a positive influence he was on her. I'd always been able to see how much they loved each other. I had to consider the idea, though. Was that how other people saw Mikah and I?

"They can." Dess answered, "But it's still there. It's always there for us too, but it does get easier to bear." I nodded a little. That was all I needed to know.

"Don't let Alice's enthusiasm turn you away." Dess smiled, "She just wants you to be happy."

"I'm just confused." I admitted quietly, "I don't want what he means to me to change." Alice smiled a little also, "Everything else has already changed enough. I just want to keep one thing."

"Guaranteed," Dess replied, "It'll only change for the better."

I caught the scent of five deer that had just headed for the creek three miles south, perking up a little, tensing immediately in the instinct to hunt them.

"Oh." Dess laughed, "Hold that thought."

I immediately took off, knowing I was followed.

We got through the hunt that night without a single incident, and I actually enjoyed Alice's company. Once she moved off of the subject of Mikah, that is. She seemed so happy. I'd obviously underestimated just how much it bothered her not to be able to see me. I imagined my presence hindered her ability to see much of the family quite a bit as well. Now that everything was clear, she was excited.

I had to admire her. What I'd taken from her, pretty much since the moment I met them, was her peace of mind, and she never once brought it up or complained about it to me.

However, stepping into the yard, I caught a new scent. The second I took it in, I stopped. It unsettled me, and for a brief moment, I was reminded of the vision. From the vision, I remembered what scent this was. The wolves.

There was also another, much different scent.

"Leandra." I partially recognized Seth's cheerful voice. I heard a heartbeat coming from the house, but it sounded off to me. Off enough that I didn't instantly react to it. Ness was inside.

Nervously, I looked to Carlisle.

"Don't worry." Seth told me as he came to me, "She'll stay inside until you're ready. She really wanted to see you, so Jake and I thought we'd come by. Just in case."

I could hear exactly how much Alice had influenced her growing up as Ness bounced up and down in excitement. The steady tapping of her bare-footed heels hitting the hardwood inside was irritating, not to mention the fact that I could clearly smell her human half, and it burned.

The scent of her vampire half was just enough to keep me from running straight for her, but I could feel it there. The war between instinct and what I knew to be right. Even Ness' scent was driving me crazy. What was I supposed to do when she stepped outside? Right where I could reach her.

"It would help," I muttered, "If she'd calm down."

"I don't think that's possible." Seth chuckled, "She's really anxious."

"Clearly." I murmured, stepping back. God, I didn't want to hurt her! Didn't she know what I could do? She wasn't my kid. I didn't have the automatic 'don't kill' instinct that I would have had with my son, or that Bella had with her. I looked up at Carlisle, really not sure what to do.

"We'll stay close." Carlisle assured me.

Mikah, seeing my unease, moved forward. I glanced to him as he came to my side. The second my eyes met his, he smiled a little. As if silently telling me it was fine.

I took a breath, a subtle breath in and his scent found me again.

"Again, that.." I looked to Alice again at her sudden grin, "That needs to happen." I looked down.

"Stop it." I muttered, looking across the yard as the door opened. I instantly stopped breathing, stepping closer to Carlisle, in case her human half was enough out in the open to make me want to kill her. In response to my moving, Jasper moved over as well.

"She'll be fine." Alice assured us, but I didn't pay any attention to that.

I didn't think these precautions were too strong, as I wasn't sure what I'd do. If I wasn't sure what I'd do, there was no chance I was going to tell them to calm down about it. At that point, I'd rather be safe than sorry later when either Jacob killed me, or I wound up hurting Ness.

"Are you _sure_ this is smart?" Jacob was asking her in the doorway.

"Would you relax?" She asked in return, "Geez. You're worse than my dad."

At physically thirteen years old, she was certainly growing into that attitude. She bounded down the steps, and I watched her every move.

"You look so scared." She laughed as she came to stop in front of me, "Like I could ever hurt you."

"Stay there, Ness." Jasper told her, "Don't come any closer until she can get used to you."

"'Kay." She agreed easily.

I hesitated several moments, standing very still as I looked her over. She waited patiently at first, before she sighed, irritated.

"Just take a breath."

"Don't rush me." I snapped, and she laughed. Jacob behind her didn't find it so funny. Neither did I. I was _trying_ not to kill her.

"It's alright, Leandra." Alice offered from Jasper's other side, "Just try it. She doesn't smell the same as a human."

"I know." I mumbled, now out of breath.

Here went nothing.

I took the smallest breath in I could manage, and though it did burn enough to make me wince, it wasn't near as bad up close as I thought it'd be. I thought it'd be a thousand times worse. I took another breath in, my tension easing as I got myself used to the feeling. I was adjusting pretty quickly.

For once, I was pleasantly surprised.

"See?" She asked, bouncing once more, "Do I stink that bad?"

"No." I answered, "I just wanted to be careful."

"As she should have been." Jasper added, "Don't hold it against her, Ness."

"I won't." She smiled, "I just want to say, that you look amazing. Much different than you used to, but still so much the same." Other than Bella, I was the only other person she'd known before the change. I could hesitantly understand her excitement.

"I wouldn't know." I replied, gaining everyone's attention.

"You've really gone this long without seeing yourself?" Mikah asked, shocked.

"I didn't even think to show her." Alice admitted, just as surprised.

"That's normally the first thing you think of." Ness muttered.

"I guess I've just been so distracted by being able to see her again." Alice replied.

"I never even thought to look." I admitted, confused. I couldn't understand what the big deal was. Was I really that different?

"Wow." Alice murmured, "Well, that needs to change."

"I can show her." Ness grinned, taking a step forward. When nobody said anything to stop her, she raised her hand. I watched it carefully, but allowed her to lay her hand against my cheek, instantly seeing what she wanted me to see.

Comparisons. I recognized the person she showed me first. Fair skinned, long auburn hair and green eyes. Very human. That's who I was used to seeing. I was used to seeing myself this way. The very faint, long scar on my face she'd clearly noticed, as well as a few of the visible ones I'd gotten through my years.

The next person she showed me shocked me, and startled me enough to tense. I _had_ changed.

The one she showed me, the one standing in my place was much different, but as she said, still so much the same. My eyes, no longer a clear, pale green, but a deep crimson color. Wide with surprise and uncertainty. Off set by much clearer, flawless and pale porcelain skin. Not a scar or mark to be found. My hair slightly wavy and much smoother and silkier than I'd ever seen it before.

I couldn't believe it. Was that really me? I moved my head back, still surprised.

As I stood there, seeing what Ness had to show me, Esme had stepped outside with a large hand mirror. Confused, I looked to her. I was shaken up by seeing what I'd seen. That couldn't be true. I really looked like that now? Could I actually dare to consider myself beautiful?

With a small smile, Esme approached, and handed me the mirror. I carefully gripped it, not wanting to destroy it by mistake, and turned it over. Finding my own reflection instantly.

Sure enough, Ness hadn't been exaggerating the image whatsoever. It really was me. My features were still the same. The shape of my eyes, the shape and curvature of my lips. Even the very slight upturn at the end of my nose. I still looked fourteen, because I still was fourteen. The only difference being the paler tone to my smooth skin, and the color of my eyes, but somehow, I didn't recognize myself.

Seeing it with my own eyes was entirely different, but just as surprising as seeing it through Ness' gift.

"Holy _shit_." I gasped, and I didn't miss the quiet laughs around the group outside with me.

"That's the first 'Leandra' thing I've heard her say in days." I didn't look away from myself as Emmett stepped outside.

"This can't be me." I murmured, despite seeing the proof for myself. I brought my hand up, touching my cheek lightly. My reflection doing the same.

"It's you." Alice laughed a little, "I know. It's a big change, but I promise you'll adjust to it."

"This is so weird." I mumbled.

"So I guess it's a good thing I came over tonight." Ness smiled, "Otherwise, she might never have seen herself."

"I was definitely not expecting to see that." I admitted quietly, "I don't know what I was expecting, but _that_ wasn't it. I can barely tell that's me." I slowly reached out, handing the mirror back to Esme.

"Why's it so hard to believe, shorty?" Emmett asked from the porch.

"I don't know." I answered quietly, "I mean, it's just.. Really different."

"Carlisle?" Alice spoke up, "Can I have a quick word?"

"Leandra." Jasper spoke up, taking my attention immediately, "I want to work with you a little more."

"Oh no." I muttered, "Can't that wait?"

"Ooh." Ness perked up, "Can I watch?"

"No." I said.

"That might not be a good idea. Not from right here, at least." Jasper told her, "You can watch from inside the house."

"Jasper, I really don't want-"

"Good idea." Ness grinned, turning and heading inside.

"I really don't want to do this right now." I told him.

"I'm told you ran off today." He replied, and I looked down, "Leandra, that can't happen."

"That was my fault." Mikah spoke up, "I told her what happened. She just needed a moment, so I-"

"You let her run off?" Jasper asked.

"I followed her." He defended himself.

"And what, dare I ask, would you have done, had she crossed a human's scent?"

"Don't get mad at him." I defended him as well, "It wasn't his fault."

"He was supposed to be watching you." Jasper told me, "Not giving you a moment."

"I would have stopped her." Mikah replied, and Jasper looked to him.

"Have you forgotten exactly what it was like for you as a newborn, Mikah?" Jasper demanded. He was upset, "I'm guessing you have. She is a newborn. Days old. You can't give her a moment alone, because a split second is all it takes. Even the slightest hint of a human's scent, and there would be very little you could do alone, besides get yourself hurt or worse trying to stop her."

"I said it wasn't his fault." I spoke up again, "He probably would have gotten hurt or worse trying to stop me from running off. Nobody got hurt."

"But they could have." Jasper countered, "Very easily."

"Would you just stop?" I snapped, "This isn't fair."

"Leandra, you're not understanding me."

"No, you're not understanding me."

"Guys." Mikah spoke up, "Come on. Leandra, it's fine. He's right. I should have been smarter."

"No, it's not fine." I replied, "This is so hard." I'd been saying that a lot lately. Jasper looked down at me.

"I know it's hard, but you need to learn these things."

"Not that." I shook my head a little. I sighed and stepped back. Shaking my head as he watched my every move, "I couldn't figure it out before, what was bothering me the most about all of this. What was bothering me the most about the last few days, but I think I just did."

"What is it?" Mikah asked me.

"It's what I was trying to say before. The same night I first woke up." I replied, but fell silent as they thought.

"I miss my brother." I muttered more to myself, "I miss him."

Jasper heard me anyway, "I'm sorry, but you can't see Hunter-"

"Not Hunter." I replied, "You. I miss my brother. One of the ones who caught me smoking that day. The one who helped me. The one who helped me talk to Charlie when I really didn't want to. The one who's always taught me things I needed to know, but not like this." I shook my head again, "I know it's just how it's got to be now, but I can't help but think. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to him, for him to be replaced with _you_."

"Leandra, you don't get how much you've changed."

"That's the thing, Jasper." I countered, "I do get it. Believe me. I'm not that stupid, but I didn't _ask_ for this change. I didn't ask to be turned, and I certainly didn't ask for the need to be treated this way. I don't regret Carlisle saving my life. I don't. I'm very grateful that he did what he did, but I'm having a hard enough time just dealing with myself.

"I'm having even harder of a time letting go of my human ties, but again. I know that's how it has to be, but add on that I have to let go of my family, and accept you in its place, it gets a thousand times worse. It isn't _fair_. I don't like _this_ change."

That had to be one of the most rational things I'd ever said in my new life. I didn't once raise my voice, or yell. I continued.

"I get that I can mess up at any second. I get that, but you could at least _try_ to be the person I knew before. I don't need you to be mean to me for me to learn things." I looked up at him, "I can understand things you tell me if you'd just try to explain them, instead of enforcing them." I met his eyes defiantly, "I'm _not_ working with you until you figure out what I'm trying to say."

I turned away, and I felt him watching after me. I couldn't go inside, so I went to the next best place to be alone. Pulling myself up a tree. A nearby tree, so Jasper didn't panic, but I needed time. I yanked my shoes off, my socks following, letting them fall to the ground as I crouched on a branch of a suitable height. I felt better this way. They'd been annoying me for quite some time now.

I heard the whispered argument below me. Mikah wanted to follow me, but Jasper wouldn't allow it.

Jasper was convinced that Mikah was standing in the way of me learning to adapt. That he was the reason I refused to work with him. That Mikah's decision earlier to let me run off was unnecessarily putting himself and me at risk. Not to mention everybody else around as well.

Mikah was convinced that the only reason I'd gotten as far as I did by then was because he was there for me. That he was about the only one who hadn't treated me any different.

I agreed with Mikah.

"You need to think beyond your feelings for her." Jasper told him in a firm whisper, "This isn't about the fact that you care for her. You need to use your head."

"I think I'm the only one between the two of us using their head." Mikah countered, "She's not some random newborn you need to train. This is Leandra."

"I'm fully aware of who she is." Jasper replied, sharper, "I'm _trying_ to do everything I can to make this transition quick and as painless as I can, but with you ingraining the idea that she hasn't changed, there isn't much I can do, now is there? She's treating you like a security blanket, and you're letting her."

"There's nothing wrong with that." Mikah murmured, "Haven't you been listening to a word she's saying? If you'd just listen-"

"I'm asking you," Jasper stepped closer, "To stay away from her. She needs a clear head right now. Not some boy disrupting her focus."

"That isn't fair." Mikah wasn't backing down, "Taking everything she finds comforting away from her isn't going to work, Jasper. That's the opposite of what she's asking for."

"Where'd she go?" Alice and Carlisle were done talking about whatever they needed to talk about, and had come back over. I shifted my weight between the balls of my feet, which took her attention, "What happened?"

"Leandra's tired of being treated like an inmate." Mikah answered, "And I can't say I blame her much."

"Mikah, go to her. Jazz, trust me." Alice said over Jasper's heavy sigh of irritation, "You don't want to do this."

I immediately heard Mikah starting up the tree. This time, instead of jumping straight down, I just looked over as he reached me. He sighed, settling down beside me. I reached over, taking his hand in mine, and pulling it over to hold it to me.

"What's so wrong with having a security blanket?" I asked quietly, and he smiled. He leaned over, kissing the side of my head.

"Nothing." He replied, "Nothing at all."

"I wish he'd just understand." I whispered, "I wish I knew how to explain it so they all would understand. No matter how hard I try, nobody seems to get it. Like I'm speaking some other language or something."

"It's complicated." Mikah murmured, "Don't hold it against Jasper. He's trying so hard to figure this out. Just as much as you are. It's been a hard day for everyone." I sighed, nodding a little. I agreed with him there.

He lingered there, softly pressing his forehead against the same spot he'd kissed on the side of my head, and I closed my eyes as he started to hum gently to me. I couldn't help it. I smiled at the sound, even more beautiful than what my human ears had heard.

The others in the yard could have still been talking, or even gone inside, and I wouldn't have even noticed. I wouldn't have moved from that spot.

"Sometimes we're just like the weather. Changing by day after day." He sang now, "As long as we'll be together, storms will pass away. I said I would guard and protect you, and keep you free from all harm. And if life should ever reject you, that love would weather each storm."

The song, that song, was something I'd never forgotten. Even the change couldn't take that memory from me, despite not hearing it for years before now. It still reached me in a way I was so familiar with, and it comforted me amazingly as I realized I could hear more in each word.

"Do you remember?" Mikah asked in a whisper, and immediately, I nodded.

"I've never forgotten." I replied in the same tone, looking over at him, "I don't think I ever will."

He smiled a little and for the briefest of seconds, touched his nose to mine. I smiled in return, closing my eyes and hesitantly scooted closer to his side. He brought his hand up, still holding onto my hand, and brought his arm around me. The movement felt so right. Who was I to change that?

He seemed tense, however. Probably worried I wouldn't want that, so to ease him, I leaned against him a little more. Gently running the tip of my nose against his jaw. In the lightest of ways.

He eased immediately, resting his chin on the top of my head. Not only did I allow this, but I almost desperately accepted it. Mikah was offering the surrounding safety I wanted so badly, and I was so close to giving in to it.

"See?" I heard Alice ask below us.

I knew we could easily be seen where we were, and when I would have been embarrassed before, I didn't care anymore. Jasper, or any of the others, hadn't seen this before. They weren't there for what happened in the forest, the step forward that Mikah had needed to make. Alice, of course, had seen it, so she knew this was coming.

"Don't take that from her." Alice murmured now, probably to Jasper, but again. I hardly noticed, "At least not tonight."

I let him hold me, listening to them turn away. We stayed like that for several hours. We were never bothered up there, but it wouldn't have mattered to me if we had been. I never had to move, despite how uncomfortable the position I was crouched in would have been while human.

Sometime just before dawn, I heard others approaching from further in the trees. I recognized the scent approaching, so I knew it was only Cole and Dess. I wasn't about to feel awkward now. I didn't care.

They strode right passed us, both of us so still they must not have seen us.

"Where is she?" To my surprise, Cole sounded worried. Alice turned, looking up at us in the tree, Cole doing the same. Dess, beside him, smiled a little, but that didn't erase the worry I knew she felt as well.

However, he didn't look at us long. Looking to Carlisle next, "Carlisle-"

"We're aware." Carlisle murmured, "We haven't said anything."

"Not that I can blame you, but-"

"Yes." Carlisle replied, "Go ahead. I'll let you and the others know when it's safe to return."

"Thank you, Carlisle." He gave a very appreciative nod, taking Dess' hand. I finally moved as I watched him look to me again, before leaving. I finally pulled away from Mikah's embrace long enough to notice something. I knew what they were talking about.

I wasn't about to say anything, in case I wasn't supposed to, but I straightened up, separating from Mikah only enough to peer down into the yard. Nervous now, I took Jasper's attention. The others following, as I prepared myself to fulfill my earlier promise. Sitting tense and even more still for several minutes before Alice spoke up.

"Leandra," Alice called to me, and I stayed quiet, "Don't run."

"You heard me." I finally replied, "I meant what I said. _That's_ why you brought him up at all. Alice, I could have been long gone by now."

"If you run, you'll only make it harder on yourself." She pointed out, "If you run, they can find you anywhere. Just stay up there, okay? Let us handle them."

"No promises." I growled.

"What is it?" Mikah asked, probably lost.

He was answered seconds later by the sound of more approaching. I didn't recognize the scent of these ones, but Mikah sure did, and it tensed me even further. Instinct having me shift position, gripping the tree tighter in one hand in response. I knew who this was, which made it ten times worse.

"Alice?" Mikah demanded.

Emmett and Rosalie joined us all outside about the same time, all of them gathering in the yard. Probably in hopes they could keep them from staying very long. Mikah stayed with me on my branch.

I could hear their movement now, until the new visitors passed below me, and I had to fight the urge to run. Stopping in front of my family as if they had every right to be there. This time, there was no sending someone ahead first.

Aro stood there first thing, not wasting any time. Why was he even there? What the hell did he want?

"Carlisle." Aro's voice had my glare deepen. The only movement I allowed of myself. I stayed silent, not daring to move on my branch.

"Aro." Carlisle greeted politely.

"I only wish to pass on my condolences." Aro smiled, "Although I'm sure you don't need them."

He must have heard about the funeral. Coming by to check on me. He knew I wasn't human anymore. No doubt hoping that with my being changed, I might have changed my mind about him. Fat fucking chance.

"And I must ask." Aro murmured, stepping forward, "Why so soon?"

"It was necessary." Carlisle replied, "She had a bit of an accident."

As they spoke, Felix decided he wanted to look around the yard. Probably catching my scent, but the moment his eyes landed on me, I tensed even further and hissed. He smirked.

"I know you tend to keep your newborns under control. Where might she be?" Aro asked, and Felix took his attention. The moment Aro's eyes landed on me, I growled. I wasn't about to pretend I was happy to see him. I literally couldn't. I ached to kill him where he stood, but that'd be very, _very_ stupid of me.

"Ah." He smiled broadly, chuckling at the sight of me, "Come to me, my dear. I'd like a better look at you."

"She's in a sensitive state right now." Carlisle told him immediately, "I don't think that'd be a good idea."

"Oh, of course." Aro murmured, glancing to him before his eyes found me again, "That's right. I understand. Perhaps.. She can be persuaded. She just needs a little incentive." Aro looked to Carlisle again, but Felix's eyes stayed on me. I didn't miss the wave he gave him.

"Has she stayed with your diet?" Aro inquired, curious. I stopped paying attention to them.

I growled again, watching Felix move closer to the tree Mikah and I crouched in. Demetri caught the sound, chuckling a little as he joined Felix.

"I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't allow them to antagonize her." Carlisle, as well as everyone else, had noticed.

"Oh, I'm sure it's fine." Aro smiled.

Under his breath, probably too quiet for anyone else to hear, Demetri gave a dog whistle. The very quiet, but shrill burst of three whistles coming from him only got him another growl.

"What have we got here?" He chuckled, "A treed newborn."

"And her slightly more capable, yet equally inferior little friend." Felix chuckled in addition, "Isn't that just the sweetest thing?"

"Go fuck yourself." I growled, crouching further.

"Come down from there, newborn." He chuckled, "We're just following orders. We're not allowed to seriously wound you unless it's required."

"Beat it." I hissed quietly. I didn't know what they wanted with me, but I wasn't about to follow their orders. I didn't like the way they looked at me.

"We like newborns." Felix added, "They're fun to play with."

"Yes." Demetri agreed, "Very spirited. More fun when they're cornered."

"Very true." Felix chuckled, looking up at me again, "Now, just come on down from there, and we'll have a nice little chat-"

"I said beat it, fuckface." I snapped, "Leave us alone."

"That's not very nice." Demetri frowned, "Let's see if I can find you some manners.." He mused, and moments later, he pressed hard on the trunk of the tree I was in, "Whoopsie."

I jumped to the next tree, Mikah following me with a growl their direction before the one we had been in could fully fall. It wasn't going to be that easy. Instead, I tore a rather heavy branch from the tree we stood in now, and threw it at them as hard as I could. They dodged it easily, deeply amused.

"Fuck off." I watched tensely as they simply stepped over to our new tree.

"Oh, crafty." Demetri chuckled, "You certainly do like to use that word, don't you?"

"Aro, if you wouldn't mind.." Carlisle was getting irritated.

"Demetri," Aro called, looking toward them, "Felix. Do refrain from destroying the vegetation. I'm sure they've worked hard to maintain it."

"Of course." Demetri replied, looking up at me again, "Come on. We just want a little look."

"We don't hurt the pretty ones." Felix chuckled, "Unless they ask for it."

"Fuck off." I hissed again, "Don't you dumbasses know how to listen?" I was getting edgy, and I was sure that's what they wanted. They wanted me to run. I wasn't paying attention to what direction the conversation with my family was going, but I could hear the tension in the words that were spoken. Aro wasn't happy.

"Now, now." Demetri murmured, "Don't make me come up there."

"I dare you." Mikah growled this time, and I glanced to him. I couldn't fight _them_. I had about zero experience, and no training whatsoever on how to fight. It would be beyond idiotic to depend on instinct at a time like this. Even _I_ knew that.

Felix grinned, glancing to Demetri, "I'll take the boy, while you pluck her out?"

"Sounds like a plan." Demetri murmured, already starting up.

Mikah stood up at the same time I did, but Felix took the short way. Jumping up, and landing on our branch to Mikah's other side. Just like that, Mikah was distracted, and I was on my own.

"Stay away from me, you bastard." I hissed, scrambling higher. I could hear him following me. I jumped to the next tree, moving as fast as I could. He followed easily, and was just below me, so I attempted to climb higher.

I felt his hand close on my ankle, yanking me back down the trunk. I growled and spun, letting go of the tree to jump at him.

I fell onto him, and we both fell from the tree. Hitting the ground, I landed on him. I attempted to scramble away, but he grabbed my ankle again and tugged me back. I lunged, attempting to bite his hand, but he jerked it away, grabbing a solid handful of my hair instead. Ensuring I couldn't attempt another bite. Sort of like the way a handler would securely hold a snake.

His fist in my hair didn't hurt all that much, but it sure hurt as I fought. Panic stealing rational thought. Letting out a squeak of fear, I twisted, thrashing for freedom.

"Aro." Jasper growled.

"Oh, calm down." Demetri chuckled, "I'm not hurting her."

He used my distraction at his words as opportunity to force me down to the ground, pinning my head to the dirt.

I reached back, but before I could rip his arm off, he pinned my wrist. First kneeling on my right wrist, keeping that from moving and securing my left wrist with his free hand.

"Ow." I snarled up at him.

"You were being uncooperative." Demetri chuckled, "What else would you have me do?" I only growled in response, watching as Aro approached slowly. His footsteps carrying him closer.

"I didn't do anything wrong." I growled into the dirt.

"You wouldn't come down." Demetri replied.

"For good reason!"

"Now, ease up on her a bit, Demetri." Aro kneeled beside me, "She was only frightened."

The moment I felt his hand loosen on my wrist, I gave a very lucky and well timed twist. Freeing myself. I flung to my feet, rounding to run.

Less than a second later, however, I was back on the ground in a much more painful spot, with an irritated and growling Demetri kneeling full weight on the center of my back.

There was no getting out of this one. Both wrists pinned violently to the middle of my back, the back of my neck pinned in place by an unmovable force. He wasn't risking my freedom anymore.

I could just hardly move my head enough to look at Aro there. Behind Aro, I noticed a very restrained Mikah being brought toward my family. He was shoved away, rather hard. He immediately tried to spin and get to me, but Emmett held him back with a single hand on his chest.

"Don't." Emmett told him firmly, "You'll only make it worse for her."

He looked unhurt, so I allowed myself to worry about myself. Giving another struggle, which only resulted in getting held tighter.

"Ow!" I snarled up at Demetri perched on me. I swear I heard him chuckle. As if causing pain was something he really loved to do.

"Stand her up." Aro told him, "I'm sure that'll be far more comfortable for both of you."

The hand on the back my neck loosened just enough to dart forward and grab my hair again. Keeping an almost too-tight hold on my wrists, he jumped back, hauling me easily to my feet.

He released my wrists to grab my neck, but I was tired of this. My hands came up, and gripped his wrist.

"Leandra." Alice's call stopped me from ripping his wrist from his arm, "Don't do it." She was probably right. I knew that. So I loosened my hold on his wrist, only keeping my hands there in case he tried to squeeze. I whimpered with the effort it took to hold myself back.

I absolutely despised being held this way. I'd been held this way far too often in my life, and now that I could actually do something about it, Alice was telling me not to.

"I'm impressed." Aro mused, "She listens very well."

"We've been working with her." Jasper replied, "Since immediately after the transformation was finished, she's been firmly controlled."

"I can see that." Aro nodded a little.

He fell silent as he sighed, looking me over. I hated letting him get that look, but I had very little choice. I strained against Demetri, but didn't fight. I wasn't gripped any tighter for that, so that must have been acceptable.

I glared at Aro's hand as he eventually held it out for mine.

"May I?"

"No." I growled through clenched teeth.

"Temper, temper." He was amused by that. Every second I looked at him, I wanted to kill him even more. He continued to hold out his hand, but I continued to refuse, "I only wish to see if what I'm told is true for myself."

"I don't care." I snapped.

"Leandra." Jasper called firmly, "Just do as he says." I looked to him, incredulous. He gave me a stern look in return, which told me he wasn't kidding. I gave a slight struggle, looking to Aro again.

"Do it, newborn." Demetri grumbled, "We haven't got all day." I really didn't want this, but I didn't see any other choice.

Slowly, as not to startle Demetri into hurting me, I reached my hand out. Aro wasted no time in capturing it, both hands securing mine. I clenched my teeth, but stayed silent. Biting back the growl of hatred at the feeling. As much as I hated him looking me over, I hated the feeling of his hands on mine even worse.

Nothing happened.

I waited for the vision I should have gotten, but absolutely nothing happened. Not even a hint. I looked to my family watching, shaking my head a bit.

"I see." Aro muttered quietly after a moment longer, sighing, "They tell the truth. She is ordinary."

"We wouldn't lie to you." Alice replied, "It would be impossible to try, anyway."

I gave another struggle, just trying to loosen Demetri's hand from my neck as it was starting to get uncomfortable. Not quite chafing, but irritating.

"It is a shame." Aro sighed, "Especially after all I've gone through for her."

"We were certainly not anticipating having to turn her so soon." Carlisle replied, "Surely you understand how these things can happen."

"How has Jack escaped Demetri for so long?" Alice asked, "I thought Demetri was one of the best trackers."

Behind me, I hardly heard the sound of his growl, but Demetri wasn't so smug anymore at the question. His growl was nearly silent, but his tension rose.

"Demetri has yet to meet Jack in person." Aro answered, "He hasn't a clue what he's searching for. However. I, too, am quite disappointed." He looked to Demetri, "Release her. She's done nothing wrong."

Aro stepped back a few times, and I was suddenly released. I wasted no time. I shoved Demetri further from me, and sped forward, diving between Carlisle and Jasper to stand behind them. Mikah immediately pulled me to him as I glared over my shoulder toward Aro.

"Are you okay?" Mikah asked me almost silently. I nodded a little, looking up at him.

"Am I correct in assuming you'll no longer be searching?" Carlisle asked.

"For the time being, you would be correct." Aro answered, "Considering she's no longer human or fragile, it can wait. As I understand it, there are many issues I must handle in Volterra."

"I understand." Carlisle gave a nod.

"And please accept my apologies." He continued, "There are certain precautions that need to be taken when handling particularly hostile and uncooperative newborns. Such as Leandra, but given what I've seen here today, she's in good hands. She will adjust well, I'm sure, and I'm hopeful that such precautions won't need to be taken when I visit next."

That sounded a lot like a threat to me. If he was telling them to train me to like him, he was wasting his breath. There was no chance

I watched tensely as he gestured to the others, and disappeared with a short, irritated goodbye.

**A/N: I'm sorry this took so long, guys. I've been doing my best. I also apologize for it being pretty short.  
Short A/N today, as I'm still not quite feeling myself. I'm still a little sick, which is the reason why this chapter has been taking so long. It's a bit hard to write when it's difficult to stay awake with a fever scrambling my thoughts.**  
**THANK YOU to my AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL reviewers! :Db**  
**I hope to finish 8, which I'm sure has a few things in it we've been waiting for, pretty soon so I can hopefully get it out to you guys in shorter time. :)**  
**Until Eight, my friends. :D**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

The second Aro was gone, I rounded, heading for the trees in the opposite direction.

"Leandra." Alice called after me, "Wait." I continued on.

"Leandra." Jasper tried this time, and I spun again to face him.

"I'll never be put through something like that again." I growled his direction, "If anyone tries to force me to do anything I don't choose to do again, I swear on my life that I'll rip them limb from limb, do you hear me? I don't care who the fuck it is."

Jasper blinked, scoffing in surprise, "You're blaming me for that?"

"You're a major part of it." I replied, "If it weren't for _you_, I could have been free a lot sooner. And if weren't for _her_," I pointed to Alice, "I could have completely avoided it, so don't you dare pretend you're surprised. The _only_ one willing to help me was Mikah."

"We wanted to help you." Alice countered, "But where do you think that would have gotten us?"

"That's not the point." I snapped through clenched teeth. I was pissed, "The point is, Mikah tried to help me, despite the threat."

"Leandra, you _know_ we would have helped you had we had the chance." Carlisle told me, "You _know_ how things work with the Volturi. You've experienced it."

"You _still_ could have done something." I countered, "Something! Anything!" I looked to Jasper again, "And _you_. Making me comply like that? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Leandra, don't blame them." Mikah spoke up, and I looked to him as he took a step toward me, "What happened wasn't their fault. Had any of them tried to help you, it would have only been harder on you, and you know that. With Jane here, had any of them moved a muscle your direction, it would have gotten a whole lot worse."

"You're _defending_ them?" I growled.

"They're your family." Mikah reasoned quietly, "They're my family too. Like it or not, they're all you have, and they were right in what they did here today. They were doing exactly what was needed to be done in order to prevent even more pain for you. They were just-"

"Mikah." I shook my head.

"They were just making the best of an unpleasant situation." He continued as if I hadn't spoken, "So take a step back, take a breath, and think about what you're saying. You need to think long and hard, little girl, about who you're mad at. Think about all they've done for you."

"I didn't ask to be this way!" I snarled, surprised at the heat behind my own words.

"And do you think I did?" He countered, "I would have given _anything_ to stay with my family, Leandra, but that's just not how it works."

"You're different."

"Yes." Mikah agreed, "I agree, our situations were completely different, but that's just it. You're different. You _had_ to know that getting involved with them would ultimately result in you being turned. Carlisle loved you enough to change you, because he didn't want to let you go. He had a very difficult decision to make in such a very short amount of time."

"I _know_." I grumbled.

"Everyone else became part of the family after they were turned, but you.." He paused, "You were special, and you had the chance to be here and become part of the family before you became a vampire. That kind of thing just doesn't happen every day, and you're _fighting_ it?"

I growled and turned.

"Your life is over." He called after me, making me pause, "It's hard to hear, but Jasper is right. He's been right all along. You need to understand this. In the time it took for one drop of venom to enter your blood, your life was over."

I squeezed my eyes shut, fighting the emotion his words were digging up.

"You can get mad." He murmured, "Get mad! Be as pissed as you need to be. You have every right, but don't take it out on those who loved you enough to keep you. You've been given something not many people are lucky enough to be given, so please stop fighting it."

"I'm not fighting it!" I faced him again.

"Yes you are." He replied immediately, "You _have_ to let go of who you used to be if you're ever going to learn how to become who you're meant to be in _this_ life. Leandra, I care about you. I care about you more than you know. It hurts me _so_ much to see you like this. Blaming the family for loving you isn't where you need to be. You also have to see that the only one treating you any differently is you."

"You don't know anything!" I snapped, "I-"

"He's right." Jasper stepped forward, "You're confused, and that's understandable, but this needs to stop. What happened today was nobody's fault, Leandra. It wasn't our choice. If we'd had any opportunity to help you without ensuring you paid the price, you know we would have."

I didn't bother replying again. I turned with another growl, heading straight for the trees again. I didn't get to make it to full speed.

Immediately, I was caught, tugged to a stop. Something about being caught that way, pissed me off. Instantly. Like the hunting instinct, this was just the same. Being restrained was only something that made the instinct to run a thousand times stronger. I would probably have stopped myself eventually had nobody tried to force me to stay.

With a growl, I fought. Thrashing, and tearing myself from Carlisle's grip. Carlisle had been the one to catch me, but I _really_ didn't appreciate it. Shoving him back before attempting to run again.

I was caught again immediately, struggling and fighting, pulling my way a few steps forward, dragging Jasper and Emmett behind me.

"Leandra, stop." Jasper barked, "You need to calm down."

I growled loudly, pulling roughly at the hands holding me back. When I'd finally get their grip loosen, they'd just replace it immediately, not wasting half a second. It got to the point where I couldn't move forward anymore. They'd dug their feet in, not budging an inch anymore. I knew I was probably stronger than Emmett and Jasper, but not both combined.

Just ahead of me was freedom, and I wanted it. I fought against the calm as hard as I could, each time breaking away from it with more anger, and a louder growl. I struggled again, beginning to get desperate. Rationally, I knew I was fine, but the stronger part of me told me I needed to get free. At any cost.

"Leandra." Jasper barked firmer. I didn't bother to reply, but I gave a louder growl.

"Jazz, watch it." Alice called just as I attempted to turn to my left and bite Jasper. He jerked back, away from me. I missed his face, but I leaned further down and lunged for his hand on my arm. He released, and I jerked my arm from Emmett's grip. Facing Jasper straight now.

Emmett shifted positions beside me, but Jasper held up a hand to him.

"I dare you." Jasper told me, "Come on."

"Jasper, be careful." Esme seemed nervous.

I hesitated, however, knowing he'd probably win. Instead, I tried yet again to run. He caught my arm once again, and I rounded, aiming a very frustrated punch toward his face. He caught my wrist easily and spun, tossing me back toward the house. I skidded a little, landing on my feet as the others scattered, and darted back for him. A deeply angry growl leaving me.

He moved before I reached him, stepping to the side and shoving me a little. Almost enough to knock me over, but I kept balance.

"Come on." Jasper growled as well, "You can do better than that. I thought you wanted to fight? Not play around."

"I don't want to fight you." I growled in return, "You won't let me leave."

"Leave." He offered, "If you can."

I rushed forward again, and once more, he caught my wrist, flinging me back. I didn't even stop this time. The second my feet touched the ground, I raced forward. Straight for him this time. He stood his ground, but I pounced as I reached him, knocking him over.

We tumbled, and I realized how stupid it was about the second roll. I scrambled to get away, but he caught my wrist yet again as he stood up. I lunged to bite his wrist, barely managing to grip his sleeve in my teeth before he gave a shout of surprise and yanked his arm free.

It somehow surprised me when his free arm provided the backup he needed.

Jasper reached out, grabbed a hold of my neck and slammed me to the ground, pinning me on my back by my neck. Holding me there.

Stunned, I laid there. Physically, I was fine, but something about the action kept me still. I was finally still for a second. I attempted a struggle from where I laid, but there was no way I was fighting too hard with his hand on my neck like that, adding firm and steady pressure. That told my instincts that I needed to comply. That I needed to stop my shit, and fast.

While I laid there stunned, Jasper took the opportunity to calm me down. With a force I couldn't fight this time. I tried, attempting to fight it, but there was no way I could win. Not against that. I growled a little, glaring up at him.

"Do you think I want to see you this way?" He demanded and my glare eased quite a bit, "Think again. Let me just make one thing clear right now. Biting, or even attempting to bite any of us will not be tolerated. Am I understood?" Hesitantly, I nodded a little.

"You can kick, hit, shove, or fight all you want, but you will _not_ bite." He continued, "I let it slide before but that's done. If those teeth are exposed for any reason other than hunting, I won't hesitate to remind you this way again why that's not acceptable."

Now that I was calm, I could think again. I was calm, but I wasn't happy about it.

I shoved his arm away, and immediately got to my feet. I glared at him again, turning away. Everyone else in the yard was silent. I finally looked back at him.

"You're trying to tell me that that wasn't different?" I asked.

"Hey." Jasper snapped, "I did what I had to do to keep myself, you, and everyone else in this yard safe. I didn't hurt you."

"That _hurt_!" I shouted, pointing to the spot I'd been pinned, "What do you think would have happened if you did that while I was human?"

"I never would have done that while you were human." He countered, "But had I done it, you'd probably have gotten hurt, and more than likely would have cried about it."

"Exactly." My tone was far easier now, hardly making a sound, "But I can't do that anymore." His hardened gaze melted, more than enough for me to notice, "_All_ I'm asking, is to just remember me, Jasper. Remember who I used to be. _Please_. I'm _sorry_ for trying to bite you, but I was scared. I was scared, and I was mad, and all I wanted was to just go. To go, and to just find myself again. I _know_ why you couldn't do that, but.." I sighed, looking around briefly.

"I'm _not_ fighting it." I continued, "I swear I'm not, but.. I'm _scared_. I don't know what I am anymore, Jasper. I don't know what I'm doing. I wasn't like this before. I don't have what I had back then, and I'm already further than I'd gotten then, but I know I'm not waking up this time. That's what scares me. I don't know what I'm doing, but I do know that I have no choice this time but to face it."

I looked down, but wasn't at all surprised when he hugged me. I heard him step forward. I returned the hug as tight as I dared.

"Listen." Jasper told me, "I'm going to make a deal with you." I nodded a little, "I'll try to ease up on you, and we'll figure this out another way, if you promise to make an effort as well. Try to understand that sometimes, things _must_ change. Work with me, instead of only me working with you. I can't work with you if you're resisting the change."

"Okay." I agreed quietly, "I'll try, but don't throw me. That just pisses me off." I stepped back, and he chuckled a little.

"I knew that." He replied, "That's why I did it." I frowned a little, confused, "Sometimes it helps to calm a newborn by getting some of their aggression out. The rules changed drastically when you started biting. It also helps me to learn what your buttons are."

"Buttons?"

"What pisses you off." He reworded it, "What irritates you, and what makes you want to fight, instead of run. You were a pretty even mix of both."

"It did help a little." I admitted quietly.

"Then that's how we'll do it." He nodded once, "When you start getting agitated, we'll do that."

"But what if I hurt you?"

"It wouldn't be the first time I've been hurt by a newborn." He assured me, and I smiled a little. This was much better. I preferred this, "I'm sturdier than I look, I promise." He sighed and hugged me again, "We'll get you through this."

That was all I wanted. I wanted someone to be there, not just know that I'm there. I wanted someone to help me, not train me. I wanted them to support me, not fear me. I nodded and returned the hug once again.

"If I'd known this was acceptable, I would have done it awhile ago." I pulled back, looking to Esme as she stood there, waiting for her turn to hug me. I wasn't the least bit hesitant about it. I hugged her next. Being careful, of course.

"I was wrong again." I murmured, hugging Mikah after Esme.

"No, not wrong." Mikah replied, "You're entitled to your own feelings, princess. You just didn't know how to express them. You're still learning. Hell, being fourteen is a hard time anyway."

I squeaked as I was suddenly hugged from behind the second Mikah let me go. Literally lifted off my feet for this hug, and given the chuckle, it was Emmett.

"Emmett." I gasped, "You're squishing me. Put me down."

He held me like that for only a few seconds longer, before he set me back on my feet.

"I might be stronger now, but that still sucks." I took a breath, "Can I go for a hunt?"

"I'll go along." Mikah offered. Jasper going along was a given, so I wasn't surprised when he came to my side.

"Me too." Emmett spoke up, but I didn't miss the way they looked to Alice.

"Stick to the normal areas." She murmured, "You'll be fine there. I'll go with Esme to track down the others."

"Be careful." Jasper told her, giving her a quick kiss.

"How soon until I can go inside?" I asked, carefully staying beside Jasper as we ran, "Like.. How soon until the smell stops bothering me so much?"

"That depends entirely on your tolerance level." Jasper replied, "Which I have yet to fully determine."

"Oh." I mumbled, "I guess I just miss it. Not that I mind the yard that much."

"The house itself does provide a certain sense of security." Jasper allowed, "You wouldn't be wrong there."

"And are we still going to be leaving?" I asked, "I'll stay out of the way."

"It's still very risky, Leandra." He answered, "We need to be very careful. Especially considering you had so many human ties. If any of them happen to see you, it'd be a very difficult situation."

"I know." I sighed.

"We just haven't chosen a suitable location yet." He added.

"What would be suitable?"

"Well.." He sighed, "There are many things to consider. We have to consider.. Locations, climates, hunting ranges.. Locations, meaning where in the world would be alright to settle down again. Where have we been the least frequent for the longest amount of time." I nodded a little.

"Climates, weather patterns in a particular spot. Sunny days, versus cloudy days. How often we can be seen outside during the day. Hunting ranges, meaning how far each direction you'd be allowed to go. Proximity to humans, towns. Cities. Things like that. Here, I can already tell you, is far too frequented by humans. It's very unsafe for an unstable newborn."

I nodded again.

"I don't mean to be unstable." I mumbled.

"If you weren't a _real_ newborn, I would have gone on strike." Emmett added from my other side, "Bella was never a real newborn. All the fits and pissy moods, yeah. She never did that, and I wanted that."

"Well, in that case, I'm glad I could make your dreams come true." I replied.

"She never once tried to kill any of us." He continued, "She didn't have to learn the rules the Jasper way, and she didn't lose her mind over human blood. How boring is that?"

"Pretty boring, I'd say." I muttered.

I suddenly did a double-take, sliding to a stop. The others followed, frowning in confusion.

"What are you doing?" Jasper asked, "We haven't reached the area yet."

"Hold on." I said, stepping passed Emmett, back the other direction, "I thought I smelled something-"

"We need to keep moving." Jasper replied tensely, "Let's go."

"Hold on." I murmured, intently focused on whatever it was.

"Now, Leandra." He moved to my side, but I wasn't paying attention to that.

Mikah spoke up, "This is not a good spot to be stopped."

Before he even finished saying that, I caught a breeze. Specifically, a scent in that breeze, and before I had the scent fully, I was off. There was no hesitation in gaining full speed.

Something in my mind clicked, clearing everything I needed to resist it in one swift sweep, and nothing else mattered but hunting. I felt their attempts to catch me, but I was free enough to dart away. A sort of fog, thrown over my mind at just the one smell of this scent.

As I got further, I realized what it was.

Humans. Not just one, but two. Two separate scents, two separate heartbeats. The sound combined with the scent was maddening enough with just one. But two? Two humans. Two humans, and I smelled them first. They were mine. This had to be my lucky day.

I needed it. I raced toward it, and nothing was going to stop me. I could hear them following me, as fast as they could, but not nearly fast enough. I growled. I was getting close. Coming on them fast. They'd never even see me coming.

"Leandra!" I ignored Jasper's call behind me, "Stop!"

I could see them. Their scent painted a very desireable little picture, but besides that, I could see them. Up ahead, in small clearing. Their stupid little tent, their fishing poles stuck against rocks beside the river. A man, and a woman, the man on his feet. Neither one the wiser. Neither one knowing that I was coming for them.

"We're not gonna make it." I heard behind me.

"Leandra, dammit!" Jasper was pissed now, "Stop!"

Haha. Nope.

I barrelled from the trees, growling as Mikah got closer. He shouldn't try it. If he was smart, he really wouldn't try it. I'd hurt him for this scent. I'd hurt them all for this scent.

Closer.. Closer.. Close enough!

I pounced, leaping on the man. Taking him down with all of my weight. I briefly reminded myself of a very sturdy bowling ball, and him a very fragile pin. Grabbing his hair in my fist to give myself leverage, and tearing into his neck before he even hit the ground.

It was everything I'd imagined it'd be. It was the best, most sweetest and satisfying thing I'd ever tasted, growling around the now constant flow of blood. It wasn't anything like feeding on deer. The bitter blood of the deer was pure crap compared to human blood. I ignored the woman screaming bloody fucking murder right in my ear, too wrapped up in the kill I had.

Several of the man's bones shattering, smashing under my weight as I landed right on him. He was dead long before he was dry. I didn't care about that, though. I wasn't concerned about being merciful. All that mattered was that he had the blood I wanted. I listened to his struggling heart stop.

I wasn't sure what happened to the woman, but she was suddenly shut up somewhere I couldn't see her. Someone must have moved her.

"Leandra." Emmett tried to stop me once he reached me, but it was very obviously too late. He ignored my warning growl and tried to pull me away, and I wasn't having that. I punched him, knocking him back quite a distance without missing a beat. Biting harder with another defiant growl his direction when the blood started to slow.

"Dammit!" Jasper was pissed as he reached us, "Carlisle is going to know about this."

I growled a warning at him, my eyes on him as I continued, pulling more blood from the already nearly empty human under me, but he didn't try to pull me away.

Jasper growled, turning away. I listened to Emmett climbing back to his feet with a sigh.

"I have to go." Mikah muttered from off to the side, "Now."

"Go." Jasper told him, "I'll keep an eye on her. Thank you, Mikah, for moving her." Mikah nodded once, and he was suddenly gone. No doubt the scent getting to him.

When I was positive there wasn't a drop of blood left in him, I forced myself to back away from the human. Leaving him lying there as I rose to my feet, panting in my effort to get control of myself again. Returning to my senses, suppressing the instinct to go find more.

"Take a breath." Jasper instructed with a sigh, "You'll come back soon. Dammit, Leandra." I knew he didn't fully blame me, though.

"That was.." I hesitated, still struggling with myself.

"That wasn't supposed to happen." He finished for me.

"That was _awesome_." I gave a laugh, "Did you see that?"

"Yes." He muttered bitterly, "I saw. You were truly terrifying."

I looked up, my smile fading significantly as I looked back, toward the way I'd just come, to see that Alice had arrived just too late. Dragging Carlisle and Esme along with her. I looked down, looking to what I'd done.

They didn't look mad at me. Only disappointed.

"Oops." I murmured, looking back up.

"Come here." Jasper sighed as took my arm, leading me toward the river. At the edge, he pushed me in roughly. I hit the water, despite my efforts to remain where I was.

The slow water flowed passed me as I stood waist deep in it, glaring at him.

"Clean yourself up." He told me, "You're covered in blood."

There was hardly a drop from the edge to the water I stood in, but it took my attention.

"You alright, shorty?" Emmett asked, coming to Jasper's side. I watched the water for several moments, so suddenly remembering everything about it. Why it was significant to me.

I remembered how I died.

It didn't scare me to remember. It was just a small piece of information that moved into place. If anything, it comforted me to remember. It eased me, knowing how I came to be this way.

I remembered saving Hunter, and I didn't regret it in the least. I was happy to have done what I did. He had a chance now. I remembered Zack's struggles, his sob. As if he really understood how stupid of a choice that was, but I didn't blame him. I wished, more than anything at that point, that I could tell him that.

"Sorry." I finally mumbled, looking up at them. Shaking my head and taking Jasper's instruction, I ducked down, my head under the water. I found holding my breath didn't bother me, and I could stay under the icy water as long as I needed to until all the blood on my skin was washed away.

The second all of it was gone, he reached in and fished me out. Dragging me from the water easily, and while I was dazed, tugged me back the direction we came. Back toward where Alice, Carlisle and Esme all stood.

I followed easily, not concerned anymore. I had ended the scent. I was fine now, though fleetingly, I wondered where the annoying woman had gone off to. Emmett trailed after us.

"Alice," Jasper murmured as we passed them, "Do you know where Mikah is?"

"He'll be okay." She replied, turning to follow us.

"Between here and home," Jasper continued, "Is the way clear?"

"Straight home." She nodded, and he nodded as well.

"I'm sorry." I muttered, letting him keep my arm in his hand.

"Emmett." Jasper suddenly stopped once we were back in the trees, "Please go back. Fix the scene."

"You got it." He gave a nod, "Should I bring-"

"Yes." Jasper interrupted, "Just fix it the best you can."

"I'll meet you guys back at the house." Emmett nodded again, and was gone.

"Esme," Jasper's tone was easier when he looked to her, "Can I ask you to track down Mikah? I'm sure he's upset."

"Of course." She gave my arm a supportive squeeze before she turned. At least I knew she wasn't mad as hell at me.

I sighed, "Jasper-"

"Carlisle, would you mind taking her back to the house?" Jasper asked, "There's something I need to do."

"Of course." Carlisle replied, and I looked down. He released my arm and I moved to Carlisle's side.

Jasper moved to Alice's side, murmured almost silently to her. Too quietly for me to even hear. Given the way she nodded a little, he was giving her instructions.

I glanced up at Carlisle, and I really couldn't tell what he was feeling. He wasn't mad. I knew that much. It was something between disappointment, and sadness. He wasn't happy about this, that much was clear as well.

"Carlisle?" I murmured, and he looked to me, "I'm sorry. For.. For earlier. When I pushed you. I didn't mean to. Really. I just-"

"It's alright, Leandra." He told me, "I understand why you did it."

"And.." I continued, "For this.." I gestured back behind me, back toward the clearing.

He sighed, "Leandra-"

"I just don't know what happened." I spoke quicker now, hoping to get myself out of it, "I just couldn't stop."

"I know, Leandra." He replied, "Believe me, I understand. We all anticipated this."

"You're not mad?"

"No." He murmured, "I'm not mad."

"What about Jasper?"

"I think he's more disappointed in himself." He sighed, looking to Jasper a few steps away. Still talking with Alice, Jasper glanced our direction, "This sort of scenario was exactly what we wanted to avoid. You were only doing what comes natural to a newborn, and we can't blame you for that."

I still wasn't convinced, and he saw that in the way I looked at him.

"Leandra, you're not understanding." He told me gently, "It's in your nature. What happened was, by all means, supposed to happen. It's going to take some time to learn how to control and suppress that nature." I looked over at him, finally starting to understand, "We're here to help you get through that, and there are bound to be mistakes like today. Nobody's perfect. It takes time. Believe me, I know it's hard."

"I'm just glad you don't hate me."

"Of course not." He replied, "No. None of us hate you."

Alice accompanied us back to the yard. The run was silent, and despite the way I could feel both sets of eyes on my every move, I felt more content than I had since I was turned. More satisfied, even if I did crave more.

We entered the yard, meeting Emmett there.

"How'd it go?" Carlisle asked him.

"She's going to have one hell of a headache, but at least she's alive to question her sanity." Emmett replied with a smile, "Mikah made sure to knock her out pretty good, but she's fine from what I could see." That certainly explained why she'd suddenly disappeared before I could finish killing the guy.

"I dropped a mountain lion on the dead guy." Emmett continued, "She'll wake up, find her boyfriend dragged up a tree, and probably assume that the kitty cat was the one that attacked the poor bastard. Bet she'll be thinking twice about camping there again."

"Thank you." I told him, and he shrugged.

"Shit happens." He told me, "Best we can do now is cover it up, and make sure you don't do it again."

"I'm good for now." I muttered.

"So." I looked over at Emmett's chuckling voice, "That was a pretty good hit back there."

"Sorry about that." I replied.

"Don't apologize." He laughed, "That was awesome, and it hurt like hell, too." I looked down, "I didn't even see it coming. How much effort would you say you put behind that?"

"A lot?" I asked, shrugging a little.

"Do it again." He grinned, and I instantly shook my head, "Come on. Carlisle didn't get to see that part."

"I'm well aware of how strong newborns can be, Emmett." Carlisle reminded him.

"Pushing me was one thing." He was highly entertained.

"Emmett, I would _not_ tempt her to hurt you." Alice sighed.

"Come _on_." He repeated, "She's the first real newborn I get to play with." I laughed a little, shaking my head again, "Free shot, shorty."

"Emmett." Alice murmured in warning, taking my hand, "Leave her be." I trailed behind her as she pulled me toward the house.

"Maybe later then." Glancing behind me toward Emmett and his deeply amused grin. I couldn't help thinking there would be trouble later.

I automatically held my breath as she led me inside.

I was a bit surprised as she led me up the stairs. I hadn't been this far inside the house since I first left it. Alice had been nice enough to get me a change of clothes after the bear incident and bring them to me in the downstairs bathroom.

She tugged me up the stairs, and to my surprise, right to my bedroom.

It was a pretty calm, nearly bitter-sweet moment as I stepped into the room. Despite the way I could easily see, she turned on the light beside the bed. I couldn't help it. I had to smile as I slowly stepped in.

I'd spent so long in this room. This was my bedroom. My space.

She stayed quiet as I looked around, slowly making my way to my bed. Still unmade from my last night human.

I reached out and touched the sheet, remembering clearly how often I'd curled up in it to fall asleep. How often I'd used this sheet, this blanket to muffle my cries in the middle of the night when I'd wake up alone.

"This is so weird." I finally murmured, looking over at Alice, "I've missed it here."

"All your clothes were returned." She told me, and I nodded a little, "Feel free to pick out whatever you want to wear."

I paused, noticing something.

"The boys were up here." I pointed out, and she nodded a little, looking down.

"They wanted to come up here." She replied, "It seemed only fair to let them say their goodbyes up here instead of making them do it in front of everyone else."

"Hunter." I said, "How was he? Was he okay, at least? I never got to find out."

"You're remembering." She murmured, and I nodded, "Hunter was perfectly fine. Thanks to you. Leandra, you saved his life."

"I had to." I replied quietly, "I just wasn't thinking about what that would mean for me. Even if I had, though, I still would have done it." I sighed, releasing the sheet as I sat down lightly on the side of the bed, "What happened that day was what I had been so worried about.

"That's why I told Josh to run home. I knew something was going to happen, so I needed him to get Carlisle. I feel so _bad_ about Zack. It wasn't his fault. He was just being a typical stupid teenager. That's why it's so hard to let it go. I know he blames himself so much, and I can't even imagine what he must be going through."

"He'll be okay, Leandra." She told me, and I smiled a little.

"I hope so." I muttered, carefully patting my pillow, "I really do." I sighed again, "I' just hope things get better for me once we move to Denali." She was silent for a moment, and I looked up.

"What?" I asked.

"How did you know we were decided on that area?" She asked, and I hesitated, "That's where Jasper went. To find a good spot to start building."

"Building?" I asked, surprised.

"We'll be closer to Tanya that way. More eyes on you, means less chance for a slip up. There is Tanya's coven, plus a more frequent Eli and his coven."

"So what happens to this place?"

"Normally," She sighed, "We'd lock this place up, and just.. Leave, but Carlisle doesn't want to do that. This time, we'll be living in both places. for many reasons. Mostly appearances. How would it look if we just moved away right after you died? Of course, there's always the excuse that it was too hard for Esme to bear, but we don't want to go that route."

"How's that going to work?" I frowned in confusion.

"We'll still be here, but there as well." She answered, "We'll need to be here in case Sam or Jacob need help with any unwanted visitors. Edward and Bella will be staying behind, with Ness. For Jacob's sake. They'll keep an eye on the house for us during the times when we're up north, but we're thinking Denali is just the place for you. Tanya's area, anyway.

"Her area is not normally a very good camping area. Too rocky, too isolated, and too cold. It has its sunny days and nobody has to worry about anyone being seen, but it's just a short trip back here. I think it's a perfect spot for you to.. Grow up, so to speak. But.." She paused, "How did you know?"

"I don't know." I replied, surprised at her surprise, "I just knew it."

"You still have your ability." She murmured in understanding, smiling.

"How is that possible?" I asked, standing again, "I mean, you can still see me, right?"

"Yes." She answered, "My ability must have grown somehow."

"What about Aro?" I asked, confused, "That doesn't explain that." I crossed the room for the closet. Choosing to be productive while we talked.

"Maybe yours isn't based on him anymore?" She guessed, "I don't know, but I'm not disappointed."

"Maybe that's why I insisted on going hunting earlier." I murmured, looking through my shirts, "Maybe I knew those humans would be there."

I found one shirt I liked, and pulled off the still damp shirt I was wearing. Alice immediately took it, balling it up. I knew what she was waiting around for. She wanted my clothes, because they still held the blood stains from my failed hunt. The cold water hadn't gotten those out.

"Bra too this time." She insisted, and inspecting it, I knew I was right. The blood had made it through. I sighed, turned my back to her and pulled it off. Tossing it back over my shoulder at her. I quickly dressed my upper half before moving on to forfeiting my lower clothing.

"You know, I'm curious." I muttered, "Is it mandatory for our kind to shower?"

"Not really." She replied, "I mean, we don't develop odor or anything, and not showering won't get us sick. It's mostly for an appearance thing, I suppose, or for comfort. As often as you want, to get the dirt and blood from particularly rough hunts off. Once you get the hang of hunting, you won't need to as often."

"Oh." I replied, understanding now.

I hesitated before asking my next question.

"Alice?" I murmured once I at least had underwear on, "What would you do if you were me?" I turned to look at her.

"About?" She asked, though by her smile, I could tell she knew what I meant.

"Mikah." I sighed.

"You know I can't answer that." She laughed a little, "I already told you what I think. What do you think? About him?"

"I don't know what I think." I replied, "That's the problem. Half the time, it's hard to find _any_thing I can't concentrate on, but Mikah is that one thing."

"Because you're freaking yourself out about it." She told me, "You're making it much harder than it has to be. Trust me, I know these things."

"So.." I murmured, "What do I do?"

"First off," She replied, "Put some pants on. Second, just relax. Don't think about it so much, and it'll be like instinct."

"Are you sure?" I asked hesitantly.

"Positive." She smiled, "It's not that complicated, Leandra. Really. Trust yourself. You'll know what to do." I sighed, and nodded a little.

"How do you know I'll know?" I asked, turning to the drawer in my dresser holding all my jeans.

"Remember earlier?" She prompted, "In the tree? That was easy, wasn't it?"

"Not really." I mumbled, standing back up with my least favorite pair of jeans under my arm, "That was hard as hell. Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to be close to anyone like that?"

"You're not much of a cuddler, are you?" She asked, and I gave her a look.

"I'm serious." I whined.

"Mikah isn't just anyone." She told me, "He makes you happy. He's always made you happy. Just remember _him_, Leandra."

"I do remember him. That's why he's not dead yet, but I don't know about.. Y'Know.. Actually being with him."

"I do know." She countered, "And believe me. Change scares everyone, but I _promise_, it'll only be for the better. Just don't make a big deal out of it, and it won't be a big deal."

"I wasn't the one that made a big deal out of it, Alice." I sighed, yanking my jeans up, "Remember? You are. I wanted to just drop it."

"No," She replied, "You were denying its very existence. That's making a big deal out of it."

"I wasn't denying its existence." I muttered, "I was.. Filing it away for later. So, what you're saying is, I just need to calm down about it?"

"Exactly."

"That's _much_ easier said than done." I replied.

"Why?"

"Do you know what kind of pressure that puts on me?" I whined again, "I've never even kissed him, or anyone, in my life. I mean, what if he tries to kiss me again, like he tried to on my birthday? And I really hurt him? I've hit Josh before, and he says it doesn't tickle. That was while I was human. I don't want to hurt Mikah.

"And what about after that? If I actually _do_ let him kiss me without me throwing up or killing him. I'm not stupid. He's a guy. No matter how patient he is, he's not going to be satisfied with one kiss for the rest of time. I've tried telling him that, but he just doesn't listen."

"Easy." She laughed, "Worry about that when the time comes."

"It's more productive to worry about it now." I pointed out, "I don't want to hurt him, Alice. That's what's holding me back."

"No." She murmured, "What's holding you back the most is that you don't want him to hurt you. You're afraid, Leandra, and that's okay. The thing you need to focus on right now, is you. Just getting adjusted, and working on your _gift_." She grinned.

"I didn't even know I had it." I had to laugh a little, "Much less how to work on it."

"We'll get to that part." She assured me. I sighed, pausing as I thought more about Mikah.

"Alice, I still don't know." I admitted.

"The thing is, Mikah understands." She knew what I was getting at, "He's not going to push you any further than you're willing to move. Not only would that be suicidal, but it'd also be the opposite of helpful to his cause. Just don't worry."

"Easier said than done." I repeated with a sigh.

"Maybe it'd help just focusing on how you feel about him." She suggested, "Tell me how you're feeling."

"That's the hard part." I replied, "It's so confusing."

"How?" She prompted, "He makes you happy, doesn't he?"

"Very." I agreed quietly, "I'm not denying that."

"But..?"

"But.." I sighed again, "I don't know how to describe it." I turned away, "You're telling me to take a risk I'm not capable of taking."

"Okay, so tell me." She murmured, "How did you feel earlier? Sitting with him up in that tree?"

I hesitated, but I smiled a little, looking down.

"Like nothing in the world could get to me." I finally admitted quietly, and she smiled as well.

"That, right there, is all he wants." She told me, "He wants to give you that."

"And I appreciate that." I replied, and her smile faded as mine did.

"But..?"

"But what happens when that's not enough for him anymore? What happens when he finally realizes I'm not what he needs? Sure that's all he wants for right now, but that's not going to last forever.

"I'm not willing to take that risk, and I'll never be willing to take that extra step. I _care_ about him more than I'm sure he knows, but I can't trap him like that, because if I let myself rely on him that way, that's what'll happen. The more I let him give me that, the more I'll rely on it. I can't do that anymore."

Her expression softened, "Leandra, stop. You're trying to talk yourself out of it."

"He's going to need more from me than I'll ever be willing to give anybody." I continued, "That's just how it is. That's why I'm hesitating. I'm just not made to be with anyone. That's not going to change just because I, or you, or anyone else wants it to."

I turned a little, listening to the quiet conversation out in the yard. Mikah and Esme had returned, and Emmett was picking on him for having to leave. As much as I wanted to go to him, to see him, another part of me wouldn't let myself feel happiness at the sound of his laugh. Like two sides of me were conflicted.

I forced a smile to Alice.

"I should probably tell him that, huh?" I asked, "I don't want him to hold out hope." She sighed.

"Ultimately," She replied, "It is your choice which steps you take, and which ones you don't. I just wish you'd reconsider what you're doing."

"I wish I _could_ reconsider." I admitted.

"This was _not_ the direction I was hoping this conversation would go." She continued quickly as I stepped passed her for the stairs, "Stop for a second. Think."

"I did think." I replied quietly, "I finally thought clearly. It's just how it is, Alice."

I descended the stairs pretty quickly, and finding the scent in the house didn't bother me so bad anymore. It had faded fairly well in the day-long absence, leaving just a hint behind.

I only paused a moment on the porch, finding Mikah immediately where he stood talking with Emmett and Carlisle. He smiled as he saw me, and I couldn't help feeling the emotion of what I was about to do. Where was Jasper when I needed him?

I stepped across the yard to him, coming to his side.

"Can I talk to you?" I asked quietly, and I did my best to ignore Emmett's chuckle.

"Leandra." I looked over at Alice's voice on the porch, "Don't do it. Come on."

I sighed, taking Mikah's sleeve in my hand and tugging him away. Only far enough away where I could talk quietly to him without everyone and their dog hearing me.

"What is it?" Mikah asked, confused, "Look, I'm sorry about having to leave back there-"

"No. No, it's okay." I shook my head, "But.. Just listen, okay? Listen." I kept my voice as quiet as I could, "I'm _so_ sorry."

"No." He laughed a little, "I totally-"

"I'm sorry." I silenced him with my tone, before it quieted again, "I can't do this."

"Do what?" He wasn't understanding, but he was starting to catch on to my emotion, "Leandra, what's going on?" I bit my lip, looking down. He caught my chin, tilting my head back up gently, "What's wrong?"

His hand moved to my cheek, and I reached up, gently placing my hand over his. Taking a hold of it, and pulling it away. Holding it in my own. How could I do this?

"I can't." I whispered, looking back up at him.

He frowned a little in concerned confusion, "I don't follow."

"I need for you to move on." I told him gently, and he finally started to get it, "Find somebody else."

His surprised expression saddened, "Leandra-"

"You're hoping I'll come around." I murmured softly, "I won't. I won't come around. I need.. For you to be happy."

"Is this about me having to leave?"

"No." I replied immediately, "No. It's.. It's nothing you did, I swear. You've been.. Too amazing.."

"Then why?" He asked, the emotion in his voice adding to mine. God, this hurt so much.

"I'll _never_ be what you need me to be." I told him, "You knew this from the start."

He sighed, "We've been over this."

"And what happens when I'm not enough?" I asked, finally looking up into his eyes, "Mikah, I'm trying to tell you that I can't be what you need. I _really_ hope you understand."

"I can't say as I do." He murmured, "Leandra, if you'd just-"

"I can't." I sighed, and my tone turned pleading, "Go find someone else. I want you to be happy, Mikah. I want that more than anything, but with me, you'll never get the closeness with someone else you'll eventually want. Being turned didn't change that part of me. We will never move passed just being friends, and I have to do what's best for both of us. I'll never _want_ to move forward."

"Don't.." I closed my eyes at the pain in his voice. The single word broke. How was it possible to feel so crushed and still stay in one piece?

"You'll be okay, Mikah." I whispered, "You deserve someone who will want to move at your pace. Someone who will be willing to move forward, instead of someone who will only hold you back. I _know_ there's someone out there for you, but I'm not her.

"You've been there through everything." I continued, "And I don't want to lose you to resentment. That's all trapping you will do. It'll only make you resent me, but I can't pretend, or lie to myself. I'm tired of lying to myself, Mikah. _Please_ understand."

I held his hand tighter for just a moment, before attempting to release it. He refused to release mine, however, pulling me forward and wrapping his arms around me. He held me tight, and biting back my own emotion, I had to at least return the hug. It was the least I could do.

"Please." He whispered into my hair, "Just give it a chance. Just give me one chance. I know I can reach you."

"I'm sorry." I replied almost silently, "I'm _so_ sorry."

He tried to hold on, but I backed up, back to holding his hand.

"Are you going to stay around?" I had to ask. I needed to know.

"Of course." He replied quietly, "Leandra, I'll never stop trying."

I closed my eyes again, hating how I had to break him away like this. Breaking him felt like breaking me, and it was one of the hardest things I'd had to do yet, but it was for the best. I knew it was for the best.

I was broken. He deserved someone whole. He deserved the kind of person who could be there for him, more than he needed to be there for them. He needed support, not someone who constantly required to be supported. He needed someone on the same page. I just wasn't it. He needed someone on the same page as him, and as compatible we were, I was just in a whole different book.

"That's okay." I told him, "I'll stop trying enough for the both of us. The sooner you let go, the easier it'll be on you. I promise."

Looking up at him, his pleading expression tried to melt my resolve, but I sighed and shook my head. I just turned away. Walking away, heading for the porch.

There were no words for the way this felt. If I knew this was for the best, then why did I feel so bad? My overworking mind considered every way what had just happened could have been taken by him.

Did he think I didn't want to be friends anymore? That wasn't it. Did he think I didn't like him anymore? That wasn't it either. Did he think he wasn't attractive? That wasn't the case at all.

I really hoped he understood. I hated to face the truth as much as he apparently did, but I _had_ to protect myself. From the pain I'd face later on, when I would have had to do this after getting used to relying on him.

"Uh oh." Emmett chuckled as I passed him, "Panties in a wad?"

"Emmett." Alice scolded, but I'd already snapped. Spinning and slapping him across the face. He had no idea how much pain I was in, and there he was, poking fun? The sound of the slap echoed in the yard, while I stood there, trying to control my anger.

"Leandra." Esme scolded this time, probably just as surprised at my physical outburst as Emmett seemed to be. Once again, my aching heart chose to show itself in the form of anger, and I was _really_ hurting.

"Note to self.." Emmett finally chuckled.

Alice descended the steps, "Emmett.."

"Don't pick on mighty mouse while Jasper's gone." He finished.

Just as Alice got there, I darted forward. She just missed being able to catch me. I landed a fairly decent punch, sending him back several feet, but by the time he landed, I was already over there to provide him with a choke slam that sent him down into the gravel an impressive bit.

He was dazed, but perfectly fine.

I went to turn, and walk away, but he caught my ankles, yanking both feet out from under me.

"Cheap shot." He told me with a chuckle. I yanked my right ankle free and kicked him off of me.

"What is going on?" Esme asked, moving closer. I vaguely noticed Mikah cross the yard to stand with her. I wasn't up to answering her as both Emmett and I got to our feet. I didn't want to talk.

"Do I have to piss you off for me to get your full potential?" Emmett asked, pushing the sleeves of his shirt up. He was clearly enjoying the challenge.

"Emmett, be careful." Esme called from where she stood, "I'm sure she's learned something by now." She could see what this was, but I was getting hesitant. I really didn't want to accidentally hurt him, and I had to admit. He was really intimidating.

"I'm ready now." He chuckled, "Try your best, shorty."

"Don't push it, Emmett." I growled, taking a step back. He obviously didn't want that, following, but I sighed. Turning my back to him, heading for the porch again.

I listened, tensing as I heard him rushing up behind me.

I jumped out of the way right as he barreled by me. I crouched behind him, growling. He smirked, spinning around, watching as I backed up.

"Stop it." I told him, despite knowing this was more of a game to him than anything. One I no longer wanted to play.

"Aw," He muttered, and I tensed further at the condescending tone, "Don't tell me you're scared?" He sure knew how to irritate someone.

"I'm not scared." I countered sharply.

"Then come on." He chuckled.

He rushed at me again, and I jumped over him again. This time, just barely managing to dodge him as he spun around trying to catch a hold of me. He spun around again, and I ducked below his grab.

I sprinted forward and tackled him at the knees. Putting full weight behind it, and landing on him. I backed up before he could get a solid hold on me, knocking his feet out from under him as he tried to stand up before I could fully retreat.

He wanted to fight with me? I'd give him that.

"You're fast, I'll give you that." He said, finally standing. I waited, keeping my eyes on him as he circled me. He looked hesitant about making the first move, but I watched his every move.

He barreled at me again, and I dodged him again, tripping him yet again as he went by. I watched as he hit the dirt.

I felt bad though, so I walked over to him. I offered my hand to him, intending to help him up. Silly me, thinking it was over.

He took my offered hand gently, before yanking me down to the ground roughly. I face planted, getting a mouth and nose full of dirt.

I kneeled up, spitting dirt out and wiping it off my face. And he thought I took cheap shots? I was getting pissed, and as much as I knew he was playing, it was quickly becoming real to me.

Emmett kneeled beside me, with a very smug look on his face. I hated that look. It told me everything he was feeling. Superior, like he'd already won. I recalled easily how many times I wanted to smack that look off the face of anyone giving it to me.

I darted to my feet and in the same movement, back-handed him so hard he flew back quite a ways, hitting the ground and sliding on the dirt. I took a hissing breath in, striding over to him. Ignoring the murmurs of nervousness and concern behind me from those watching. It had to bother them to see us knocking each other around.

He glared at me, jumping to his feet before I could get to him, and I jumped back away from him. I'd gotten my message across. He needed to fight harder than that, because he knew now that I wasn't playing.

"Okay, runt. Now it's on." He paced back and forth, eyeing me closely. I followed his every movement with my eyes. I wasn't about to let him make a move without me noticing.

He went to move forward and I jumped back with another warning hiss. He rushed forward this time, and I just barely dodged him. He spun quicker now, and managed to catch hold of my arm. Over his head he swung me, and slammed me onto my back on the ground, my breath leaving me in a rush, making a sort of coughing cry. Despite being much sturdier than the ground, it still didn't tickle. He put effort behind that.

"Hey!" Mikah growled.

"Easy, Emmett!" Esme scolded.

I darted to my feet, slamming into him violently. He managed to stay on his feet, barely sliding back since I didn't have the momentum I needed to knock him down.

"Is that all you got?" Emmett laughed.

Feeling my anger skyrocket, I pushed forward harder. He slid a bit before I placed my foot behind his and he fell to the ground.

I pinned him roughly, glaring down at him. I brought my fist back and punched him roughly in the face. Barely phasing him, his hands came up, gripping my arms. He flipped me over onto my back, somehow managing to get my legs pressed against my chest, folding me in half. Attempting to pin me, but I wasn't having that.

I brought my leg forward, down touching the ground beside my head with my toes. I brought it roughly back up, hitting him in the face with the back of my shin, and knocking him off of me. He rolled quickly, standing. I flew up, gripping him on the shoulder. I flung myself onto his back, latching my legs around his waist, getting ready to bite him.

Emmett, seeing his trouble in the split second it took, threw himself backwards onto the ground, landing roughly on top of me, pinning me between the ground and the solid mass of his back. I made another coughing cry, losing my breath momentarily. Making a mental note not to underestimate his speed again.

"Hey! Knock it off!" Mikah reached down and pulled him off of me, "Time out."

I growled each breath as I panted in my anger at being bested, kneeling up and glaring at him. I went for him again, only to be caught by Mikah. I was just barely held back by his restraining arms, swinging and kicking. The others ran over as well, surrounding us. Rosalie went to Emmett's side, her attention gotten by the yelling in the yard no doubt, a glare on her face. I glared right back at her.

"Easy, easy." Mikah murmured, holding me back. I thrashed in his hands, and it was just enough, but not for long.

I managed to slip out of Mikah's hands, and I flew at Emmett, taking him down again. I pinned him, glaring at him. Getting ready to punch him with all of my strength this time. I wasn't done.

I yelped, flinching as Rosalie reached down and took a solid grip of my shirt, literally throwing me off of him. I landed roughly on my side, instantly darting back to my feet. I faced her, my deep growl matching hers. Her teeth bared, making mine bare as well. I felt anger roll through me, and I knew I could take her on. I was aching to try.

"What the hell is going on here?" Jasper had returned, suddenly stepping between us. Carlisle reached out and grabbed my shoulders, pulling me back. Away from Emmett, and away from Rosalie.

Despite how I wanted to keep swinging, I started to calm down as I glanced up at Carlisle. Jasper probably helping with that.

"You need to teach that thing some manners." Rosalie hissed, her eyes on Jasper.

"Excuse me?" I snapped, rounding again.

"Rose, that wasn't her fault." Alice defended me, "Emmett's been told repeatedly not to irritate or antagonize her, and he certainly didn't have to treat her like that."

"She was going to eat me." Emmett gasped incredulously. Though I knew he was amused.

"Yeah, well." Rose muttered, replying to Alice, "I will defend what's mine."

"She's just mad I won." Emmett chuckled.

"I didn't even want to fight him." I barked Rose's direction, "Maybe it's him that needs the training. Especially on how to not cheat by smashing someone with his fat ass."

"Watch it." Rose stepped forward, "He wouldn't have had to if you hadn't tried to bite him, you little animal."

"I did what I had to." I attempted to step forward as well, but Carlisle kept me back.

"So did he." She countered.

"Both of you, cool it." Esme snapped, coming to stand beside Jasper between us, "No. We're not doing that. I will not stand for you two turning on each other. Emmett, take Rosalie inside. I'll talk to you two in a minute."

"Sorry, shorty." Emmett chuckled, and I glared hard at him as he passed, "Oh, if looks could kill.."

"Maybe not kill." I grumbled after him, "Just seriously injure!"

Once they were gone, it was silent for a moment as I slowly calmed down even more. Something about fighting like that made it difficult to ease my tension, which made me even more grateful for Jasper's help.

Jasper finally sighed and looked to me.

"What was _that_?" He demanded.

"I'm sorry, okay?" I snapped quietly, "Next time, I'll let him run me over."

"She was defending herself, Jasper." Carlisle sighed, "It wasn't her fault. She was attempting to walk away, but he refused to let her."

That seemed to ease him a little, "That certainly sounds like him. What started it?"

"I'd rather not talk about it." I muttered, reminded of my earlier pain. Across the small group from me, Mikah looked down.

"I'll explain it to you later." Mikah offered quietly, and I turned. Heading for the other side of the yard. Jasper fell quiet, watching after me.

I sighed, choosing a tree to crouch beside. I didn't feel like heading back inside. Rose was in there, and I wasn't sure I could make it passed her without punching her in the face, so I chose the next best option. Where I could sit and just sort through all of this on my own.

I hated what I had to do to Mikah, but it was for the best.

"I'll be back later." I closed my eyes at Mikah's quiet statement.

"Mikah." I looked back up at Alice's call, watching as she followed him the few steps he'd taken, and hugged him. He sighed, and returned it briefly, "Come back soon, okay?"

"I'll do my best." He replied, forcing a smile as he stepped back.

"Don't go." I requested quietly, and he looked down, shaking his head, "You said you'd stay."

"I can't stay." He replied, "You'll get what you really want, princess. I just have to go to learn how."

Without even looking at me, he walked away. Somehow it hurt even more watching him walk away. I wasn't sure why. I understood his need to be alone, but watching him walk away like that, something he'd never done before, bothered me deeply. It was wrong. It felt wrong. If this really was the best way, why did it feel so wrong?

How could he think I wanted this? I was doing him a favor. He was free now. Free to find someone he could be happy with. With eyes on me, I looked down. Frowning in thought before turning.

"Leandra." Jasper took my attention, "Explain."

"She let him go." Alice sighed quietly.

"What?" He asked, surprised, "Why?"

"Excuse me for thinking of his happiness." I muttered, and Jasper looked to me, "I'm a dead-end."

"Please tell me. How does both of you feeling this way lead to his happiness?" Jasper asked.

"After enough time, it'll get better." I replied, "It has to."

My tone told him I wasn't willing to change my mind on this. It told him to let it go, so he sighed. Shaking his head as if disappointed.

Well, it wasn't his decision. It was mine, and I would live with it.

**A/N: I don't even know what to say about this chapter.  
THANK YOU to those that found the time to leave me their thoughts in a review. :) You guys are awesome!  
Chapter nine might take a bit of time. Depending on whether or not I feel better soon. Wish me luck.  
Until Nine, my friends! :D**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

Roughly two weeks later, I stood there outside the mostly built new house, watching Emmett install the windows. My arms crossed, irritated. The sunlight glinted off the glass brightly, and I took in the sight. I didn't mind it here. It was really nice area. The cold didn't bother me. Not in the least, and Tanya was a thirteen second sprint to the south.

"Jasper." I finally called into the door-less front entryway, "I need to hunt. It's been almost too long already. You said I can't go without you, so let's go."

I hadn't slipped up since that first time, and I was just starting to want to keep that record. As much as I liked the taste of human blood, it was very much frowned upon, and I was learning the basics of control. I still wanted it, but it was a tiny bit more tolerable now.

"Alright, alright." He stepped outside, looking back up at where Emmett clung to the top floor, "When you get done with that, set the carpet, okay?"

"You got it." He called down to us.

We ran in silence for several moments, surprisingly just Jasper and I. I didn't mind this area. Uninhabited for miles and miles either direction. I knew from experience, exploring with Jasper on my tail. I'd always wondered why they'd bring me here, with the national park so close, but they were only referring to the general area. We were actually quite a distance from Denali itself.

Not only was it uninhabited, but it was beautiful. The landscape was nothing like home. Vast open spaces, grassland that eventually sloped up into huge mountains further in the distance. Maybe a group of trees here or there, but mostly boulders or streams with even clearer water than at home running through it.

It made hunting both harder and easier. Easier, because I could spot the animal from a much further distance away. Harder, because the animal could spot me if I wasn't quick about it.

"You've been doing well lately." Jasper spoke up after a few silent minutes, "I'm surprised."

"Why?" I asked, "I mean, why are you surprised?"

"Well," He replied, stopping with me at our usual hunting area, "You had such an issue the first few days."

"Think about it." I murmured, "What changed?" He hesitated so I decided to answer for him.

"The way you've been treating me changed." I said, "When you stopped treating me like a wild animal, even though I definitely deserved to be treated like one, I got easier to handle."

"This is true."

"Keep that in mind." I sighed, looking around, "In case something like this ever has to happen again."

"What, you mean our family ever taking in another child?" He asked, and I shrugged, "I highly doubt that'll ever happen again. You were an exception, Leandra."

"Right." I laughed a little, "An exception that could potentially have ratted all of you out. I never would have done that. I knew from the moment I remembered that I couldn't do that to you. I doubt anyone would have believed me anyway."

"I knew that." He nodded a little, "The real reason I voted to keep you, was because I thought you deserved some sort of hope in your life."

"You're such a softy." I smirked. I leaned back against a boulder, my hands behind me.

"Can you blame me?" Jasper asked, "I mean, there you were. Some random nine year old, the height and weight of the average seven year old, tortured day in and day out. With a look in your eyes that begged for compassion." I looked down, "And Alice was taken with you the second she saw you. There was no way she would have stood for sending you away to be lost by the state."

"Considering half those places are worse than where I came from," I muttered, "I can't blame her."

"And you came to us with such a sense of trust already, I couldn't vote otherwise."

"Thank you." I murmured after a moment. He gave me a nod, and after a moment, I smirked, "You know, I was awake that day, curled up in that chair. When you and Emmett were talking about what it'd mean to keep me."

"Yeah?" He laughed a little.

"Yeah." I confirmed, laughing a little as well, "I guess right from the start, Emmett's had a problem with underestimating things. I'm sure if he'd known what hell I'd put all of you through, he would have taken me a little more seriously."

"No." He shook his head, "Not hell." I smiled a little, looking up, "It's been worth every second. You're irreplaceable, Leandra. You can't imagine what you mean to this family."

I smiled a little more, and looked down.

"That means more to me than you know." I admitted honestly, looking back up, "Especially coming from you. Thank you."

"I care about you, Leandra." He sighed, "You're very much my sister, and I might have trouble sometimes showing it, but it's true." I smiled, "I want to see you happy."

I understood what he was getting at, my smile fading as I looked down.

"Have you seen him?" I asked quietly.

I hadn't seen Mikah since he'd walked away that day, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get that image out of my head. The fact that I hadn't seen him wasn't all on him, either. I'd been avoiding seeing him, just as much as he'd been avoiding seeing me. As much as his avoidance hurt, I understood perfectly. I understood that he probably needed space to let me go.

"He's been around." Jasper replied, "He's pretty upset, Leandra."

"Because he's refusing to let go." I sighed, "I know he'd find somebody better if he only looked."

"It's my turn now to tell you to stop underestimating." He murmured, "Stop underestimating what you mean to him."

"I'll only hold him back." I reasoned gently, "He's my best friend, and hurting him kills me, but it's just how it is. I'll never move forward with him. He'll thank me some day."

"Never is a long time, Leandra." He told me, "There is no limit to how much you can grow as a person."

"I meant what I said," I replied, pushing away from the boulder, "I meant what I said years ago. I know that what he wants is me, but I _know_ his needs will change. He's a male. A guy. I'll _never_ take that step, and will likely kill him for trying. I don't want that. All I want from him is for him to move on, and find somebody who will be willing to take that step someday, because I'm not the one."

"Give it some thought." He requested, "Actual thought. If anything, I'm sure that step would be a long way off."

"He's already waited for too long." I reminded him.

"Mikah's patience has no end when it comes to you." Jasper pointed out in return, "You mean everything to him. There's no way he'd risk your trust over a second of impatience or pressure. You know that."

"I just know what I'm willing to do." I said, "And that's not something I'd ever be willing to do. I swore to myself years ago that I'd never go through that again. Not ever, and I meant it. He's just going to have to find somebody else."

"He knows how delicate you are."

"I'm not delicate." I replied, "I'm done. I'm not looking for the same things he'll be looking for, and I never will, okay?"

He sighed, sensing my need to stop talking about that.

"One piece of advice, Leandra." He murmured, "Stop letting Ken and Jack ruin your life."

"What?" I asked, shocked. He shook his head, and walked off. What was _that_ supposed to mean?

"It's not about them." I muttered, following him.

"Admit it." He told me, "The things they put you through are a major part of this decision. They're keeping you from Mikah, simply because _someday_, your relationship with him might go somewhere you think you don't want it to go."

"Well, that's definitely not true." I muttered, "All they did was show me all I had to look forward to."

"Mikah would never hurt you like that, and you know it." Jasper countered.

"That's _all_ it is, though."

"You're wrong." He replied, "The things they did are never supposed to happen."

"You don't even know everything." I pointed out.

"It doesn't matter." He murmured, "I don't have to know everything. I know enough to know that your fear is justified, but wrongly placed. Your distrust of Mikah is purely because of the things they did to you. As often as you tell Mikah to let you go, I'm telling you to let them go. I know it, and we all know it. He understands, Leandra. He knows what you've been through, and he knows what that can do to someone. He'd never hurt you, or even risk hurting you like that."

"Drop it." I sighed, stopping again and looking at him. He returned my gaze, "I can't risk it. He won't risk hurting me, but I can't take the risk that he someday might want to. Okay, so what I told him wasn't only for his happiness, but I do want him to be happy. I also need to protect myself, Jasper. It's not fair to ask me not to, so drop it."

"Okay." He murmured, "Just keep in mind that you've grown. More than just physically, Leandra. How long are you going to let them win?"

I didn't bother replying, so I focused on finding something to hunt.

"I'm no good for anyone." I finally did mutter, much later after my second and final moose for the afternoon. He looked to me skeptically.

"Some people are just meant to be alone." I continued, standing upright, "I was raised by Jack. I don't know where he is or what he's doing, but if he taught me one thing, it's that some people are just bad people. We don't ask for the life we're given, but that makes no difference, now does it? I'm one of those people."

He sighed.

"Let's go see how badly Emmett screwed up the carpet." He murmured, and I smiled.

The construction of the house only took a week total, from start to finish. Three days after that hunting trip, it was completed. Even the concrete had set by then for the drive, which was a good five miles to the trail that led toward the highway. That was probably a favorite feature of the house back home. A special kind of heads up, in case anyone tried to show up.

It took so long, thanks to the parts and permits that were needed. Wires, pipes and fixtures. All ordered on the same day, arrived at different times. Delivered, of course, to the old house. Carried here, so no humans needed to set foot anywhere near the new house.

The attached garage beside the house was nearly the same size as the house. It was two stories, with room on the ground to fit six regular sized vehicles comfortably. Up a few steps to the tool area, which I had a feeling Rosalie would get a lot of use out of. Shelves and drawers floor to ceiling. Already stocked more than any professional's shop I'd ever seen.

I had to admit, the house itself was a beautiful house. I wasn't sure who all pitched in on the plans for it, but it was amazing. Five bedrooms, four and a half baths. Four of the bedrooms had their own bathrooms, and I was partially curious as to why they'd even want to put in bathrooms.

Then I figured that maybe someday, they'd like to be able to sell it. Humans needed bathrooms.

Straight ahead from the front door was the large living area, a huge white brick fireplace along the same wall, to the left of the front door. The staircase that led to the single upper floor was simple, but I didn't mind that.

Huge windows let in plenty of sunlight, especially the ones on either side of the fireplace.

"Which room is mine?" I asked, slowly stepping inside. I finally got to see the finished thing.

"Esme is going to come by later and plan where the new furniture goes," Jasper told me, "So plan how you want your room set up before tonight. Your room is up the stairs, last door on the right."

"Thanks." I smiled a little, continuing to look around.

The kitchen, also for future's sake no doubt, began seamlessly from the living room straight ahead. To the left of that, a large dining room, which held a sliding glass door that led to the back patio and yard. It was a simple place, but so amazing.

I finally headed up the stairs. The wide hallway held a single strip of carpet between the hardwood of the bedrooms. I stepped into the room specified as mine, and smiled instantly. My room had tons of windows, the north and west wall nearly nothing but windows. My room faced the west, letting in the afternoon sunlight, only interrupted by the tops of the few pines swaying slightly in the breeze.

The view was amazing from here.

"Our room is next to yours." Alice murmured, and I looked back. I'd heard her arrive, smiling a little, "Rose and Emmett's room is back down and across the hall. He made that one nearly as big as the master bedroom. Saying something about how they need a lot of room. The master bedroom, Carlisle and Esme's room, is downstairs."

"That's the one with the loft." I laughed a little, "Lucky." It was a small one, but a loft nonetheless. A small staircase led up to a pretty decent space with a lot of shelves for books and windows that surrounded the entire top area of the loft, and let in a lot of light. It was the perfect space to sit and think. I'd seen it while they were building it.

"Don't you like this one?"

"I love it." I replied, "There's so much room in here. Why would I need so much room?"

"The guys figured they'd make it big enough for two people. Just in case." I sighed, giving her a look, "You never know. Leandra, at least talk to him. You can't keep ignoring the fact that Mikah exists."

"It's just hard." I sighed, stepping further into the room.

"Imagine how hard it is for him." She murmured.

I stayed quiet, finding the door to the attached bathroom. Even that was huge. Shiny chrome and pearly white marble met my eyes, the sunlight coming through the smaller window beside the tub glinted on it.

I suspected they chose the size of the tub carefully. It could easily fit two.

I sighed, "I do miss him."

"He'll be coming by later with Esme and Carlisle." She told me, "What you do is up to you, but please stop hiding from him."

I stayed upstairs, watching the sunlight play through the few trees on its quest to set. Sitting against the wall, across from the windows. Just thinking. It was _so_ quiet out here. We were several miles from any used road or form of population, and it looked amazing here at night.

It was quiet here, and it was calming. If I closed my eyes, I could just pretend to sleep. If my other senses weren't working overtime. If Emmett and Jasper weren't down in the yard, arguing about the best placement for a large decorative boulder. Emmett wanted it between the garage and the house. Jasper wanted it to the right of the front door, just off the porch.

I heard them approaching from miles away, and my eyes opened to see I'd missed the sun setting behind the mountain we resided near.

They stepped inside, and I smiled at how pleased Esme was with the finished house. I stood up, and left my room. At the top of the stairs, I looked down into the living room. Looking for one person in particular. There was no way I could describe how much I'd missed him.

Having gone weeks without seeing him, I couldn't resist being just a little excited to see him. Mikah stood to the left of the fireplace, watching Esme and Alice talk. Outside, Carlisle had stumbled into the discussion of where to place the stupid boulder.

I suddenly felt hesitant. I didn't know what would be best to do. Go downstairs like nothing was wrong? Or stay up here, in case my presence might chase him away? I was suddenly out of time to decide, though, as he looked up and found me.

I offered a small smile, and he returned it. Baby steps? Snail's pace. Test the waters.

I descended the stairs, comforted by the fact that he didn't immediately turn and walk away. He did move over a little as I came to stand beside him, but that could have been anything. I did pick up a different scent on him. One that wasn't his own, nor one I'd ever smelled before, and it caught my attention immediately.

"Hi." I murmured, filing the scent away for later, and he smiled a little more as if that amused him.

"Hi." He replied. It fell quiet, and I looked down. Come on, I told myself. This shouldn't be so hard. He was my best friend, not some stranger, so why was I treating him like one? I finally sighed, "Can we talk?"

He sighed as well, "I thought we were talking?"

"You know what I mean." I mumbled.

"I'm not sure if that's a good idea." He replied gently, "I kind of told someone I'd be right back, anyway." I looked down. _Someone_? Someone who?

"Oh." I said quietly, "Um.. Okay. Yeah. That's fine."

"I'll be back later tonight, though." He offered, "We can talk a little then?" He was blowing me off?

"Sure." I nodded immediately, "Yeah."

"It's good to see you, though." He murmured, "You look great. Really doing well up here, I hear."

"Thanks." I replied, "It's good to see you too."

He certainly didn't seem upset. He seemed perfectly fine. Indifferent, even. Not at all bugged by the fact that I pretty much told him that he didn't have a dream of being with me. Why wasn't that okay with me? It certainly seemed like he'd taken my advice and let go.

"So uh," He chuckled, "I should go, but I'll see you later, right?"

"Yeah." I replied, "Sure thing."

Confused, I watched as he gave me a smile, a pat on the upper arm, and turned. Leaving the house. Pausing just to say something to Emmett. Whatever he'd told Emmett amused him, given the grin he had now. Emmett replied to him, so quietly I couldn't hear a word, but with a nod, Mikah left.

"What the hell was that?" I asked, more to myself than anything. Completely thrown off, I looked to Alice and Esme. Esme seemed just as lost as I was, but Alice seemed nervously amused.

"Alice?"

"I'm staying out of it." She murmured, heading for the door.

"Since when do you stay out of anything?" I asked, following her. I followed her from the house, down the three porch steps, out into the front yard. Straight to Jasper's side.

"All I can say, is that I told you to reconsider." She murmured, looking to me.

"What's that mean?" I asked, still confused.

"I'm not getting in the middle." She replied, and with a shake of his head, Jasper led her away. I stood there, stunned and looking around.

I found Emmett a little ways away, carrying the huge boulder toward the garage.

"Emmett?" I called, making my way toward him.

"I'm not getting in the middle." He repeated, and I glared. Taking the boulder from him and launching it toward the other side of the yard. He pouted as he watched after it, "My rock.."

"What'd he say to you?" I demanded.

"Pushy, aren't you?"

"What'd he say?" I asked again, and he smirked.

"What's it matter what he said?" Emmett asked as he headed for the boulder, "Besides. I'm not a rat."

I stomped my foot a little, growling as I turned.

True to his word, Mikah did return later that night, but what he dragged with him was something I never expected. I stood up immediately from where I sat on the porch when I saw him approaching.

Clinging to Mikah's arm, was a girl. I knew immediately that this was the source of the new scent on him. A _girl_? A girl that wasn't me. My jealousy was sparked the second I laid eyes on her, and growing by the second. She was _pretty_. Maybe a year older than me physically, but probably much older than me in this life. That didn't stop me from wanting to strangle her.

"Uh oh." I heard Emmett chuckle, but he didn't add anything else.

The girl smiled at me, and I trembled in the need to kill this skank. Her long, light brown hair was mocking me, her crimson eyes telling me she'd eventually change him back to what he hunted before. Her super sweet, innocent smile angered me.

"Guys." Mikah murmured, "This is Amy." Even her name begged me to kill her. _Amy_. What kind of name was that? So simple, and sweet.

But wait, I told myself. I'd told him to find somebody else. I just hadn't been prepared for the way seeing her would make me feel. The jealousy was overwhelming, though. For the first time in over a week, I nervously moved over to Jasper's side. If anyone could keep me from ripping her face off, it was Jasper.

My eyes were on Mikah. I couldn't even fully pay attention to the way the others greeted her like she was something worthy of speaking to. A startling thought crossed my mind, shaking me deeply.

He was mine.

"And that's Leandra." Mikah told the new skank, "I wouldn't get too close to her, though. She's only a few weeks old."

"Aw." Skank smiled, "That's sweet."

I'd show her sweet while I was beating her fucking face in. I'd make it extra sweet.

"I just thought I'd finally bring her by." Mikah chuckled a little as Skank scooted closer to his side. And it giggled.

My jealousy grew alarmingly quickly, and subtly, I felt Jasper grab my arm.

"Easy." He muttered to me, "Calm down, Leandra. Isn't this what you wanted?" I looked up at him, a glare on my face. I didn't know I'd have to meet the cow. How could he do this? Just bring her by like it was nothing? And somehow, I'd have to pretend that I didn't care.

"I can't." I whispered silently to Jasper.

About the third thought of tearing her head off, I turned with a quiet growl. Heading into the house.

"Oh." Skank mumbled after me, "Was it something I said?" No, I thought bitterly, your face just makes me sick. I took a moment to pace a few steps back and forth, before rounding for the stairs.

I jumped as I was caught by the arm on the stairs, turning sharply to look at Rosalie.

"What are you doing?" She demanded quietly.

"I can't even look at her." I growled in return, "Not and leave her alive."

"Then do something." She told me.

"I told him to do it."

"That doesn't mean he had to." She set her hands on her hips defiantly, "Do something about it."

"How?"

"Swallow that jealousy, and make him think you don't care." She replied, "Find someone else yourself. Get his attention the way he got yours, because you can't pretend he doesn't have your full attention, and he knows it."

I stepped back down one step in thought, frowning as I thought about what she said.

"When you find this person," She whispered, "Do what he's doing to you. Hang all over him like he's the best damn thing in the world. Make him realize what he's missing."

I knew what she was saying. Turn it around on him. I could do that. I could be good at getting even. What she was saying was just conniving enough to work, but how would I do that? Who would I use? It had to be soon, because I didn't know when I'd see Mikah again.

Something told me what Mikah was up to, and it irritated me even more.

"Come with me?" I asked, and she gave a firm nod.

"Who do you have in mind?" She asked, and I smiled a little.

I led the way from the backdoor, she followed me. I adjusted my speed so she stayed right beside me, and I knew right where I was going. I was headed back, back to the old place. When I found his scent right where I needed it to be, I smiled again.

I pounced, tumbling with him until I managed to pin him on the ground.

"What the hell, Leandra?" Eli demanded.

"You're gonna be my boyfriend." I told him, "Just for show, so lose the grin. I need to rub Mikah's smug fucking face in it, so make it a good show."

"Oh, revenge?" He asked, and I nodded, "I can do that for you. Any particular person you need me to be?"

"Just you." I said, climbing back off of him, "That'll drive him nuts."

"You got it." He nodded.

"But it has to be kinda slow. So just show up. Act natural, but start flirting your ass off." I said, "Otherwise, he'll know what I'm doing. I want him so jealous, he's ready to kill you, understand?"

He grinned, chuckling.

"Not a problem." He replied, and the way he grinned had me laughing a little. Nothing soothed the ache of jealousy in my heart like getting even.

"Don't be too far behind us." I instructed, returning his grin as I stood up.

We returned, probably five minutes having passed since I left the porch. I stepped back outside with a heavy sigh. Jasper looked to me, glancing to Rosalie as she stepped out behind me and moved to Emmett's side.

He could feel the difference in my emotions, no doubt.

"You alright, Leandra?" Mikah asked, and I smiled.

"I'm fine." I laughed a little.

"You're sure?" He asked, and he actually seemed concerned, "You seemed pretty-"

"Yeah. Yeah, don't worry." Keep your skank, "I'm perfectly perfect."

He still seemed skeptical, but didn't press again.

"I'd watch out for her." Emmett muttered to Mikah, "She's too calm."

"So?" Mikah asked.

"Meaning she's planning something."

"Shut up." I told him, "I'm not planning anything. I just needed a second, I guess. I'm fine now. Really." Emmett eyed me with nervousness in his eyes, but I glanced to Rose, who seemed to have a little trouble hiding her evil little smirk.

Mikah turned, and I knew what he was hearing. Eli's arrival.

He'd brought two of his coven members with him. I didn't mind that, but they were both in on it. If they blew it, I'd be pissed.

"Eli." Esme greeted him with a smile, "What brings you by?"

"I just wanted to see the new place." He smiled in return, "Nice work, guys."

"Thanks." Emmett grinned. I had to admit, he'd done most of the actual building. Jasper had done everything inside.

"Hey again, Amy." Eli smiled at her, "You two finally got a little closer, didn't you?"

"I guess." She laughed a little.

"Mikah's got to be nuts." Eli chuckled, "No offense." Ha, I thought. Nice touch.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"I guess that means Leandra's free." Eli looked over at me, grinning instead of answering her. A quick glance to Mikah told me his attention had already been captured. It was working.

"I don't know about that." I laughed in return, shaking my head. Amy looked from Mikah to me, and back to Mikah.

Jasper looked right to me, probably understanding.

"I still owe you one, you know." Eli told me, stepping over casually.

"For what?" I asked, though I already knew.

"That cheap shot you took." He reminded me anyway.

"You deserved that." I reminded him, "You're the one that tackled me with my back turned." I shoved him a little, "I wouldn't try it."

"Just for fun." He grinned, holding out his hand to me, "Come on." He was actually pretty charming.

I hesitated just for a moment, before taking his offered hand. He tugged me off the porch and I laughed a little, following him to the other side of the yard.

"How am I doing so far?" He whispered, and I smiled with a nod.

He stood me in one spot, and I knew full well we were both being watched as he backed up a few steps.

"Okay." He said, his tone normal, "Just stand there, and let me tackle you."

"Not a chance." I scoffed, "You want to earn this pay back, don't you? Do it right."

"You scare me." He chuckled.

"Good." I laughed, and turned to walk away. Knowing that's what he was waiting for.

He ran forward, toward me. I ducked at the last second, grabbing his ankle as he missed me and swung him into a tree. Just hard enough to let him know that I had won that round.

He caught his balance on the tree, turning around with a chuckle.

"Try again?" I asked, grinning at him.

He did try again, running for me yet again.

He tackled me, and I caught him. Catching him didn't help me stay on my feet though, we hit the ground, both laughing. The major difference between this and any other surprise wrestling match I'd had before, was that this _was_ fun.

I had to admit, he was harder to pin now.

Maybe because I wasn't seriously trying to pin him, or I wasn't pissed off. I was having fun. Sometime during our wrestling match, Amy mentioned that she had to get back to Cole. I refused to acknowledge that, though. Too focused on keeping the upper hand.

He eventually got the best of me, but I wasn't having that. I flipped us over, pinning him, sitting my full weight on his stomach.

"Ha!" I laughed down at him, and he grinned up at me. We paused for a moment, just watching each other. His hand came up, cupping my neck lightly and he pulled me down, kissing my cheek.

I laughed and moved off of him, but he followed, pinning me and attempting to tickle me. I wasn't aware that I could be tickled, but apparently, I could.

"Oh, hell no!" I laughed loudly, bucking him off of me, and rolling away with a squeal. He chuckled, recovering from his face-plant and following me. Chasing me easily.

I knew I wasn't supposed to go too far, so I stayed in the yard, spinning to face him once I reached the few trees on the very edge of the yard. He moved closer, and instinct had me backing against a tree. His hands found my waist, and I glanced down at them before looking back up.

"Whoa, whoa." I laughed in a whisper, a little nervous, "Ease up a little."

"You want to make him jealous, don't you?" He whispered in return.

"Too quick." I replied almost silently, "Hold on."

His hands released my waist only for his arms to wrap around it, abruptly pulling me closer. I caught my fall on him, my hands on his chest. My nervousness exploded, feeling myself pressed against him. I was about to move to push him away, but he shushed me.

"I'm not going to do anything." He whispered into my ear, "Easy."

He was right. I didn't want to mess this up, and I knew I could rip his head off if he tried anything with me, but this wasn't _so_ bad. I looked up at him, trying to calm down enough to make it seem like this was okay to me.

"Easy." He repeated gently, his open expression easing me, "This isn't so bad, is it?" Slowly, I shook my head.

I glanced behind him, watching Mikah stride into the house, and I knew he was upset. I was surprised Mikah hadn't gone with Amy. Glancing over his shoulder as well, Eli chuckled a little.

"That sure didn't take much effort." He murmured softly to me, "Imagine what he'd have done if I'd kissed you."

"I'd have slapped your head from your shoulders myself." I whispered in response, and he chuckled again.

"Stay a little longer. Make this believable."

I nodded silently, gritting my teeth through the urge to shove him away. It wasn't _so_ bad, but I still didn't like it.

"Alright." Eli sighed, stepping back. Releasing me, "Come on. Let's see the damage." He grinned and took my hand. He led me up the steps, and I glanced at those watching us closely.

"What are you doing?" Jasper hissed after me.

"Two can play at his game." I hissed in return. He reached out and grabbed my arm, tugging me from Eli before he could pull me inside. Eli stopped, curious.

"Wait," Jasper murmured quietly to me, "What game?"

"Bringing some random stupid skank around, just to make me jealous." I whispered back, "He's not actually with her. I'm not stupid."

"Now how the hell did you know-" Emmett shut up as Alice smacked his arm.

"I was right?" I asked, looking to him.

"It was my idea." Emmett grinned proudly.

"Well." I sniffed, "Like I said, two can play at his game. It worked, didn't it?"

"Where'd you get this idea?" Jasper asked, gesturing to Eli, "This isn't like you."

"Rose." I answered, "Hold on."

I stepped away. I took Eli's hand again, and opened the door. Before I could pull Eli completely into the house, Mikah was there. Pushing him away from me, and following him as he stumbled back.

"Whoa." I instantly said, following.

Picking him up by his shirt collar, Mikah punched Eli back to the ground.

"Stop!" I snapped at him, and Mikah took a step back.

"You're going to stay away from her." Mikah told him, "Or I swear-"

"Ha." Eli chuckled, climbing back to his feet, "I guess it worked, didn't it?"

With a growl, Mikah took a step toward him, but I caught his wrist.

"Let's talk." I suggested firmly, "_Now_."

"How fair is this?" Mikah turned to me now, and the anger in his tone had me stepping back.

"About as fair as you bringing what's-her-fucking-face by."

"I'm sorry for Amy." He sighed, "But I was desperate. Besides, I thought that's what you wanted?"

"So buy flowers like a normal person." I snapped, "Don't buy a new girlfriend."

"I was afraid to see you without a backup plan." He admitted.

"Some backup plan." I replied, "I wanted to set her on fire, and I didn't even know the bitch."

He hesitated, a small smile coming to his face, "So it did bother you."

"No shit." I mumbled, my tone calming.

"How much?"

"You wouldn't believe." Jasper added quietly.

"So what does that tell you?" Mikah asked.

"That I have anger issues, and homicidal tendencies?" I asked in return, "That I enjoy torturing myself, and can never make a single right decision to save my life?"

"You do think too much." He nodded a little.

I sighed, "I just want you to be happy. That's all I want, but I guess I just didn't think about how bad it'd bother me to see that person not be me. Maybe I'm selfish."

"I _want_ you to be." He replied, "I think it's about time you had the option to be."

"But-"

"The _only_ place I'll ever be happy is standing right there beside you." He told me, "I must not have made that clear enough." I looked down as he continued, "What with.. Spending pretty much every day for nearly two straight months talking to you. Remembering you, right through my transformation, and finding you again, only to refuse to let you go. Turning my back on the coven that took me in, and changing my diet for you. Being right there beside you when you needed me for four solid years, but what's that worth?"

"I'm sorry." I mumbled.

"If my happiness is all you're really after, then separating yourself from me isn't the way to achieve that. I'm just as selfish, and stubborn as you are, Leandra."

"I'll only hold you back." I reminded him, "Do you want to be stuck in one place forever?"

"Then fuck it." He said, and I looked back up, "If staying "just friends" means I can at least hold you, then I'm a happy camper. I don't care about anything else."

I couldn't resist it anymore. I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him. He immediately return the hug, holding me tight in his arms.

I pulled back after a moment, only enough to look up at him. His hands smoothed over both my cheeks, holding my face, and I closed my eyes briefly at the feeling.

"I don't care, Leandra." He told me softly, "The only thing that I'm ever going to want or need is you. Just you. You don't have to do a thing. Just this. This right here is more than enough for me. Forever, no matter how long that is, I promise."

I whimpered, and hugged him again. Tighter this time, and once more, he returned it.

"You couldn't have made up while we were building this place?" Emmett suddenly asked, "We could have gotten this done days earlier if you'd pitched in."

"What?" Mikah asked, "_You_ needed help?"

"Of course not." He scoffed, "I'm just saying. Jasper was pretty slow."

"So, I'm wondering." I murmured, pulling back to look up at him, "Can I kill Amy if I ever see her again?"

"No." Mikah chuckled, "It wasn't her fault. She was just helping me out."

"She should have considered the consequences." I countered, "Who the hell is she, anyway?"

"An old friend of Cole's." He replied, "He might be a little upset if you rip her apart."

"Damn." I sighed.

"I told you it'd work." Emmett chuckled.

"I knew you had a jealous streak in you a mile long." Mikah told me, "Even as a human. That's why I even considered listening to Emmett's dumb idea."

"Hey." Emmett frowned.

"I did not." I muttered.

"Remember Sarah?" He chuckled, and I growled quietly at just the reminder, "My point exactly."

"Okay, so you know me so well." I rolled my eyes a little.

"Who's Sarah?" Emmett laughed, coming closer.

"Josh's ex-girlfriend." I muttered, "She was a complete bitch."

Behind me, Alice moved quickly to Esme's side. She muttered something to her, and they both left. Curiously, I watched after them.

I went inside later to find Esme putting the finishing touches on the furniture in the living room. She just couldn't wait, and she'd been so quick about it, it was a surprise to find out she'd even been working on it.

She'd gone with a springtime/floral theme, probably to counter the constant winter outside. A whole lot of greens, whites, and reds. It looked really nice in the open space. Almost like a whole new room.

"How long are you and Carlisle staying?" I asked, lifting a couch pillow.

"The weekend." She replied, "Alice is coming back with us on Monday, but she'll be back that night."

"I'm sorry." I murmured, "For making you have to split up like this."

"No need, honey." She smiled, "None of us mind. It's a minute and a half run back home."

"If I was stronger, you might not have had to do this." I reminded her, "Like Bella."

"Sometimes it takes time." She murmured, "Everyone is different, honey, and I think I speak for everyone when I say I'm just _so_ relieved Carlisle was able to get to you in time. To have lost you would have killed us all."

I looked down.

"We'll do whatever it takes to make this work as safely as possible for everyone involved." She continued, "You're such a complete part of this family, it's impossible not to."

"I guess I was just surprised when I found out you'd build a whole new house for me." I smiled a little. She laughed quietly.

"Sweetie, there isn't much we're _not_ willing to do for our family." She smoothed out a matching couch pillow, "Carlisle and I just figured this would be the fresh start you've been needing for so long. Even before you were turned. Brand new."

"I do miss my old life." I admitted, "But this is nice. A very welcome change." I looked around the room.

"Finally a change you're embracing." I had to laugh a little with her.

"Do you think I'll ever learn how to control myself like you all can?" I asked, "Or do you think I'll ever be able to go out alone? Or am I completely untrainable?"

"Honey, you're three weeks old." She reminded me, "We've all got years on you. Years of hard work, and practice."

"It just completely stuns me now, thinking about how long you all put up with my scent. Five years of _that_, had to eventually get on someone's nerves."

"Not at all." She replied with a quiet laugh, "It was easy. Just considering what we were providing you, it was such a small price to pay."

"Jasper." I looked over as Alice descended the stairs quickly, heading immediately for the door. Distracting me momentarily. She wasn't happy about something.

"And that's another thing." I mumbled, watching after her, "I haven't worked a bit on whatever might be left of my gift. I don't even know how. I just know things. Is that as far as it goes?"

"You've been a bit preoccupied." Esme reasoned gently, "I wouldn't focus on that for a year or more. At least. Just get to know yourself." I nodded quietly.

She smiled a little, "Your room is finished, if you want to take a look." I smiled also, nodding again as I headed for the stairs. She followed me, which I didn't mind in the least.

I opened the door, and found it was just how I wanted it.

Instead of the queen sized bed I'd had at home, a larger four-poster king sized bed sat against the far wall. Right in view of the windows. The room was certainly big enough to fit it. It seemed to be the focus of the whole room. The shiny silver and very light blue comforter matched the pillows.

"That bed makes me wish I could sleep again." I admitted, and she laughed a little.

The windows had sheer, silvery lace curtains covering them, but I knew I could pull them back if I wanted to.

The dark wood of all the furniture offset the lighter colors nicely, and I smiled a little. I figured I could spend a whole lot of time in this room. Very comfortably.

"Thank you." I smiled, looking to her, "I love it." I gave another look around the room, slowly stepping forward and resting my hand carefully on the smooth wood of the dresser.

"It was my idea." I turned at Mikah's voice in the doorway, "I hoped you'd like it."

"I'll just be downstairs." Esme offered quietly, and before I could protest, she left the room. Closing the door behind her without another word. I watched Mikah for a moment, feeling my nervousness grow a bit at being alone with him. Fully alone, with no one else around.

"What's a bed for, if we don't sleep?" I had to ask.

"I'll show you." He murmured in reply. He stepped forward, and gently stroked his fingers down the length of my arm. Giving my fingers a comforting squeeze with his own, before moving on. He scooted back onto the bed, settling down against the pillows. Confused, I stood there watching him.

Until he patted the empty area of the bed beside him. I smiled, and had to follow his instructions. I crawled up beside him, settling down against his side. One arm across his stomach, my head resting on his chest. His arm came around my shoulders, holding me to him. Just like we'd always laid before.

"Much more comfortable than a tree, right?"

"I didn't mind the tree so much." I admitted quietly, "But this is easier." I sighed, letting my eyes close.

"I've really missed you." He murmured into my hair.

I didn't know what to say to that. I believed him, so I stayed quiet. Smoothing out the wrinkles in his shirt with my fingers for several minutes.

"I'm so worried." I finally murmured.

"About?"

"I don't want to lose you."

He sighed, sitting up, "Are you really still-"

"I want you to be completely sure that you're okay with what you're getting yourself into, Mikah." I sat up as well, "You're _positive_ that you're okay with what this is? One day, you're going to want to fuck, and I can't help you there. I won't."

"Blunt, aren't you?" He smirked.

"I'm serious." I muttered, standing.

"Leandra," He sighed, following me, "Listen to me. Let me try to explain this in a way that you might understand." He took my hands in his, looking into my eyes with a very sure expression. I waited, biting my lip a little as he continued.

"If you don't want to fuck, _I_ don't want to fuck." He told me, "I'm not wired like that. If you're not willing to take that step with me, then okay. If you someday change your mind, cool. Great. I'll help you out, and if you never change your mind, that's fine too. I don't care. Not one bit about that." I had to laugh a little at the jokingly incredulous look he gave me.

"I'm not in this for sex or _fucking_, okay? None of that matters to me. As far as I'm concerned, I have everything I need right here." He squeezed my hands comfortingly, softly lacing his fingers through mine, "Every step you take, or don't take, I'm going to be right there beside you. Whether you like it or not, you're stuck with me. Better get used to it, princess."

"If you ever go back on that, I'll break off your leg, and shove it somewhere you don't want it shoved." I warned, "Very last chance."

"If I ever go back on that," He replied, "I'll invite you to, because it means I've completely lost my mind."

I sighed and hugged him. He chuckled quietly, returning it.

"Does this mean you're done running from me?" He asked.

"I _really_ fucking hope so." I mumbled into his shoulder.

"Me too." He replied, and he held me like that for a minute.

"Now." He murmured, pulling back, "Excuse me for a moment while I go beat some sense into Eli." I laughed as he kissed my forehead, watching as he moved around me for the door.

"Uh-uh." I laughed, following him, "If I can't beat some sense into what's-her-face, you can't beat any sense into Eli." He was already half way down the stairs, so I hopped onto his back. He laughed along with me, catching my weight and holding me up.

He carried me outside like that, and he didn't seem too intent on beating Eli senseless while he supported me with his arms, so I didn't mind staying like that.

"When did you become a backpack?" Emmett came to our side.

"Leave me alone." I snapped, "I'm saving a life." I sighed, looking toward Jasper, "Any hunting tonight?"

"Not tonight." He replied.

"Humans close by?" I frowned, "I thought this place was safe?"

"It is." He gave a nod, "I just think we should start working on extending the time between hunts."

"Oh." I muttered, "That sounds painful. I've been trying to stay ahead of the burn."

"I know." He stepped over, "But it's always a good time to work on that."

"Okay." I sighed, not looking forward to it.

The rest of the night consisted mostly of a game of dodging Eli, and Mikah tackling him when he'd get too close to me. Nobody was ever seriously hurt, so it continued. Emmett eventually joined, adding his own twist to the game. Pegging Eli in the face with rocks, and with that, dodge-rock started. It was a little like dodgeball, but with small boulders instead of soft balls of rubber.

Dawn started to arrive, and I found the games were almost enough to distract me from wanting to hunt. The game had to stop when one rock made it passed Emmett, coming within inches of hitting the window on the new house. Esme put a quick stop to our game of flinging rocks at each other.

So Mikah and I sat on the porch steps now, watching toward the east, waiting for the sun to rise. I sat on the step below where Mikah sat, him directly behind me.

"Can I say it?" Alice asked, suddenly landing to sit beside me.

"No, you can't." I replied, looking over.

"Why not?" She asked, "I _was_ right."

"Since when is that new?" I asked, shaking my head.

"True." She allowed, and I laughed a little.

"Besides." I muttered, "I don't know about him yet." I looked back at him, smirking a little.

I finally did get to hunt later that day, more than eager for it. For the first time in a long while, though, I had more than two others with me. Everyone had decided to come along, and I couldn't help but wonder. What was making them so defensive?

Maybe they had just needed a hunt, too. I couldn't blame them for that.

Maybe a few humans had somehow made it near by, and they didn't want me to slip up. That's probably all it was. Either way, I didn't mind them with me. I'd felt pretty lonely the last few weeks.

We got back without a problem, and I found I was in a much better mood than I'd been in awhile.

**A/N: I know it's short. I apologize. I know not a lot happened in this chapter, but it needed to happen. ;)  
THANK YOU to those that reviewed last chapter. I was very relieved to know that it didn't turn out like crap like I worried it had. :)**  
**We'll probably be moving along again next chapter. Not sure how long that's going to take. I honestly never anticipated this chapter taking so long. I apologize for that as well. Hospital visits have never been my favorite thing, and I find it hard to shake for days after.**  
**Anyhoo.. Ten will be along (hopefully) soon.**  
**Until ten, my friends! :D**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

The snow coated everything today.

The first heavy snowfall of winter had started the night before, and as much as the cold didn't bother me, I chose to watch it fall from my bed. Cuddled with Mikah, just laying there calmly. His fingers gently stroking through my hair.

Three and a half months since I was turned, and I was apparently adjusting well. My eyes had just begun to change their color. From the vividly dark crimson they'd been from the moment I woke up, to the lighter red, a hint of gold beginning to make its appearance, and turn their color.

As much as I appreciated that, I was also beginning to lose a lot of the other newborn perks. I was still strong, but I knew that was fading fast. The next thing to go. That wasn't so bad but now, I had to really try to stay faster than Jasper, and I couldn't outrun Edward anymore. My speed was the most disappointing thing to lose, and that was the first thing I'd noticed.

The snow was really coming down hard, and I was grateful for having hunted the day before, before it really started snowing. I knew the animals would all be hiding right now.

The longest I could tolerate going between hunts now was two days. It was slow going, but I was learning. Two days sure beat the few hours I'd been able to tolerate before. I hadn't tried testing myself with a human's scent yet. That was something I didn't want to try until I was fully ready, which was probably the best way.

True to his word, Mikah had been there with absolutely no pressure on his part. I was beginning to see what he meant about this just being enough. It _was_ enough just being this close to him. His scent was still my favorite scent in the world.

The most I moved now was to play lazily with his hand, my fingers moving over his fingers. Like I always did while we laid like this.

"What do I smell like to you?" I asked curiously, looking up. He looked down to me, smirking a little.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"My scent." I replied, "I know it changed when I was turned. What does it make you think of?"

"Funny question." He laughed a little, "I don't want to sound crazy."

"Everybody's scent makes them think of something." I pointed out, "I won't think you're crazy. Believe me."

"Well.." He sighed, "What's mine make you think of?"

"Snow." I said, "Like.." I laughed a little as well, "It's hard to describe. I'm not saying it's cold, because a scent can't be cold, but you know how it smells when it snows in a forest for the first time? Like that. It makes me think of ice. Ice, and earth, and cold."

He smirked, "That's interesting."

"Why?"

"Because yours makes me think of fire." He replied, and I smiled, "Not something burning, but fire itself. Sharp, but soft at the same time. Beautiful, warm and almost inviting, but deadly."

"At least it's not something girly, like flowers or something delicate." I sighed, clasping my fingers through his, "Maybe that's why Alice thinks we're so compatible. Opposites attract."

"Among other things, I think." He murmured, kissing my head.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked, sitting up a little and looking at him. Our hands stayed entwined. I didn't want to let go.

"You just did."

"You know what I mean." I laughed a little. He chuckled.

"Of course, princess." He reached up with his free hand, gently tugging on a thick strand of my hair.

"Have you ever missed someone when they were right beside you?"

"Can't say as I have." He murmured, slightly concerned now.

"Not exactly missing them.." I struggled to explain how I felt, "But it almost feels like it. It's another one of those feelings that you feel here." I placed my hand over my upper stomach, "Like just looking at that person makes you want to cry."

"I hope I don't make you want to cry." He laughed now, probably understanding.

"It's not a bad cry." I shook my head a little, "A good cry. Like you might explode with just the feeling of it."

He chuckled, pulling me back down to cuddle me.

"What you're trying to describe," He murmured into my hair, "Is love."

"No." I argued, "I've felt love before. I don't feel like this about my family."

"A different kind of love." He replied, "The kind of love you feel for another person. The love you're meant to feel for only one person."

"Oh." I mumbled, "It's a little like needing to throw up, and needing to laugh at the same time."

He laughed at that one, wrapping me tighter in his arms, "Oh, you."

"Like the entire world would end if I were to ever leave your side." I continued, "Like worry, jealousy, happiness, and excitement all in the same tense little ball of nausea sitting in my stomach, but I like it."

"That's definitely love." He told me, "Are you trying to say that you love me?"

"I guess." I replied, looking up at him, "If that's what it is."

"Don't worry." He chuckled, "You make me want to throw up too."

I had to laugh at that one, pushing myself up. I think it was about time to make an appearance downstairs. We'd been locked in this room for over a full day, since we got back from the hunt. Nobody seemed to mind, but I knew it was a little rude.

I gave him a look before darting from the room. He darted up from the bed, following easily. I led the chase down the stairs, while he stumbled down behind me.

"They're alive." Emmett commented, and naturally, the TV was on some football game.

I paid no attention to that, running through the house, toward the back. Mikah stayed right behind me, so I pried open the sliding glass door to the back yard and ran outside. In the already ankle deep snow, he caught me. Wrapping me in his arms, knocking us both over as I tried to keep going.

We tumbled to the snow, and I looked up at him as I rolled to my back at the last second. Landing with a quiet 'puff' into the snow. He laid beside me, but one arm held his upper half over me.

"Caught ya." He chuckled as I looked up at him.

"Now look what you've done." I muttered, and he grinned. Knowing I was joking, "Don't you know it's dangerous to pin me?"

"I'm not pinning you." He smiled, "You're free to move if you want to."

With a small sighing huff, I sat up, and he stayed directly beside me. I dusted the snow off my shoulders, gathering my hair over my shoulder to do the same for it. Eventually, looking to him, and I suddenly couldn't look away.

I studied his eyes, loving the way the bright whiteness that surrounded us played with the color of his eyes. I loved it. Like there was no sunset, or sunrise that could compare. No sight I'd ever seen that could compare.

He reached up, cupping my cheek in his hand and smiling gently. As if he knew what I was looking at.

"You're _so_ beautiful." He murmured softly to me. I smiled a little also. I never got tired of hearing that from him, because I knew he was being completely honest. He wasn't just saying that.

I didn't know what made me want to do this, but the part of my mind not thinking decided to shut up the common sense part of my mind, and I had to do it. I had to see what I'd been missing.

I leaned forward, quickly enough to keep myself from changing my own mind, and pressed my lips to Mikah's. My mind was completely blank. Not a single thought crossed it, though I know there should be at least one or two.

Mikah's hand, still on my cheek, froze. He didn't move a bit, but he was obviously thinking much more than I was, as after a moment, his hand moved. I was sure it was only to pull me back, but he only cupped my cheek more firmly, pulled me closer, and pressed his lips to mine in return. Gently, as probably not to scare me, but undoubtedly returning my kiss.

About that time, about five seconds after I first pressed my lips to his, my thoughts started working again. A million thoughts at once raced through my mind, and I remembered how to feel emotions again. Some nervousness, a whole lot of happiness and a little limb-numbing fear.

I knew that kissing wasn't just about a quick peck. Instinct, I suppose it was. Especially not the first kiss ever. That there was some movement required to avoid making the other person feel like they were kissing cardboard.

So I applied what I remembered of a normal kiss, and I knew there was a definite chance that I'd get addicted to this too. Just like I was addicted to his scent.

There was also a definite chance that I'd just completely fucked everything up. Would he be mad? Would he mind? Because I'd told him so many times that this would never happen. I'd never expected this, though. I didn't know I'd change my mind about this, but I was suddenly overwhelmingly glad I had.

I couldn't make myself pull away.

However, he didn't let me keep it up for long. He returned it to a point, but eventually, he eased me back. Neither of us said anything at first, and as I finally opened my eyes again, he returned my gaze. Probably not wanting me to overwhelm myself too much the first time I ever kissed someone else.

"Breathe, Leandra." He reminded me gently, a smile crossing his face, "Don't pass out." That wasn't possible, but he did have a point.

"I-I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He whispered, "Please don't be."

"You're not mad at me?" I asked quietly.

"Why would I be mad at you?" He asked just as quietly, "However, I do have one request." I waited, "Don't let Jasper or Emmett skin me for kissing their sister."

"I kissed you, remember?" I replied.

"Perfectly." He nodded a little, "So how about this?"

He leaned forward, and kissed me again. Just like the first one, and definitely more than a peck. I was more than open to it. This one went even better than the first one, but lasted less time. He pulled back just enough to break the kiss, and I smiled.

"Now they have grounds to skin me." Mikah murmured softly against my lips.

"Daring." I murmured when I could speak again. I couldn't help it. I had to smile as I spoke up again, "Holy _shit_."

I could feel my limbs again, and the feeling I had now had my head spinning better than anything I'd ever felt before. I covered my face briefly with my hands. I had an odd mix of emotions once again. I felt like crying in happiness, and I felt the tickling of my stomach flipping in nervousness.

I giggled a little, a sound I never remembered making before. A sound I always hated until now. I covered my mouth as if trying to hold in another one, but I was unable to keep from giggling again.

"Are you okay?" He asked with a chuckle, "Are you gonna make it?"

"Yeah." I answered with my own laugh, "Better than okay. My _God_." He laughed again, watching me. I never expected a kiss to make me feel like this. Definitely not just a simple kiss.

I stood up, and smiled at him. He followed me immediately, and he stood in front of me. Smoothing both hands over my cheeks gently as I slowly leaned into another kiss. I couldn't help it. I would never go back on this again. Not ever again.

Why did I ever run from this? This was nothing at all like anything I'd ever felt before. This wasn't being forced on me. This wasn't bad. Not at all. This was soft, gentle. This was with someone I had absolutely no doubt I loved. As if just kissing him cleared away all the confusion about my emotions.

"I love you." I admitted almost silently, finally opening my eyes again and looking up at him.

"Finally." He grinned, and I laughed a little.

"What a response." I huffed, false anger in my voice as I turned. He took my hand, and spun me back into his arms, and I couldn't hide my smile.

"I love you, Leandra." He murmured, his nose softly touching mine, "More than anything or anyone I've ever loved before, or ever will again. You mean more to me than anything or anyone I've ever known, and I'll prove it every day if I have to."

I wrapped my arms around his waist, holding on for all I was worth. He held me in return, his arms securely around me, and I could tell. I'd taken a step forward with him today, and I knew that was more than he ever could have asked for. I knew it was something he wanted, and I knew it was a good thing.

It wasn't anything bad. Not to him. It meant I trusted him enough to choose to move half a step forward. Half a step forward was better than not moving at all. It told him he was doing everything right.

As I discovered later, Alice had gone back home to help Esme with some things, and Alice had dragged Rosalie along with her. So there was no one to keep Emmett from picking on me too much.

I wasn't exactly embarrassed about kissing Mikah, but Emmett was trying his hardest to make that the case, because no matter how hard I tried, it was really hard to hide. All he had to do was see the look on my face, and the act was over.

"About _time_." Emmett chuckled, "Now we have a way to shut you up when you're pissed off and yelling at someone. Mikah can just kiss you."

"If he tried kissing me to shut me up, I'd put him through a wall." I warned, looking up at Mikah.

"Aha!" Emmett grinned, "You admit it. You're guilty."

"It's just kissing." I countered, "Have you heard the sounds coming from your room lately? Shit, it's like a fucking porno going on up the hall."

"Don't listen, then." He replied with a shrug, "It's not my fault you can hear everything now."

"You could at least be a little considerate." I muttered.

"Well," Emmett sighed, "One day, you'll return the favor and bother us with all the noises."

"Hell no." I replied immediately, "That's still never happening."

"You say that now." I glared at his reply, "You said that about kissing too. Am I wrong?"

"Emmett, stop picking on her." Jasper descended the stairs, "If she rips off your arm, I'm not helping you reattach it. I thought you learned your lesson?" That reminded me.

"I still owe you for smashing me." I grumbled, and Emmett grinned.

"Being bitten hurts."

"So does being smashed." I countered.

"Not as much as being bitten." He shook his head, "I can promise that."

I was curious now. I darted forward, grabbed his arm, and bit him. Not hard enough to cause real damage, but hard enough to get my point across.

"Ouch! Hey!" He yelped in surprised pain, and took hold of my cheeks, "Let go. Dammit! I don't want to damage you. Let go." He gave up a few seconds later, and grabbed my arm. I immediately unclenched my teeth, but he wasn't letting go. He brought my arm up, and bit the skin of my forearm.

"Ow!" I snapped, immediately jerking at my arm. It burned. Probably due to the venom. Nothing like the pain of being turned, though. Which I was grateful for, but it still hurt pretty bad. I smacked at his head with my free hand, "Stop!"

If I were to drop kick him, it'd probably only hurt me more.

"Let her go, Emmett." Mikah muttered firmly behind me. Emmett released me, and I jumped back, glaring at him.

"See?" Emmett snapped lightly, "It hurts, doesn't it?"

"I'll never be saying 'bite me' again." I muttered, rubbing my arm as the wounds healed, "That hurt."

"I told you it did." Emmett replied.

"What'd I tell you, Leandra?" Jasper wasn't happy.

"Oh, she was just curious." Emmett actually defended me, "She should have a pass on this one. Now she knows."

I ducked back upstairs after that. I really didn't want to get on Jasper's bad side again.

I finally got my hunt the next night, and for once, I actually tried not to get blood all over the place. Jasper and Emmett to my right, Mikah to my left, we were off in search of better stuff to hunt, when Jasper got a call.

Sliding to a stop, we all stopped as he answered it. Standing in a small snow-covered clearing. The only illumination from the thick snow clouds above us, everything was silent around us. Too silent for my taste. Giving a look around, I started to get edgy long before I paid any attention to whatever Alice was saying on the other end of the call. Signified by the way I turned on the spot, for a better look.

"Shit." I glanced back at Jasper's curse as he hung up, not at all used to hearing him say things like that.

"What is it?" Mikah asked.

"I knew we should have just gone north." Jasper muttered, "He's close." That got my attention, looking toward him.

"Who?" I asked quietly.

"Emmett." Jasper sighed, "Stay close." Jasper took my arm, pulling me behind him. I heard the approach, but I didn't recognize anything about the scent coming our way.

"Who is it?" I asked again.

"Shh." Jasper hissed at me, and I fell quiet, "The others are coming as fast as they can, but it could be a few minutes."

"Well." I instantly recognized the voice that belonged to one of the five that stopped directly in front of us. It was faded, foggy but I undoubtedly remembered it, "I thought that was you fuckers. When did you move up here?"

"Keep moving." Emmett growled to my left, "Your only warning."

"Oh, warning me are you?" Jack chuckled.

Involuntarily, I let out a growl, and Mikah immediately reached a hand out. Behind Jasper where I stood hidden, he gripped my hand. The tension seemed to roll through me. From the top of my head, down to my toes. Reacting to just his voice. I held Mikah's hand, and resisted as hard as I could the want to run forward and tear into him like an animal.

"Oh, defensive little bitch behind you." Jack observed, "Who is that?"

"Fuck off." Emmett snapped again, which I was positive only made him more curious.

"Seriously." Jack laughed, "Who is that?"

I shoved forward before anyone could stop me. Jack's eyes found me, and his smile immediately faded. I eyed him, and he eyed me. I waited for him to say something, just to gauge his reaction. Would he be dumb enough to try me?

"_Shit_." Jack growled, looking me up and down, "Shit! What the fuck?"

"Surprised?" I growled, "Keep moving, Jack, before I rip your fucking head off. You're damn lucky I haven't yet."

He narrowed his eyes and stupidly took one step forward. I instantly tensed even further, taking a step forward as well. Too quickly for his taste, as he retreated that step.

"How fucking old are you?"

"Fourteen." I replied sharply, "Go."

"Hold your horses, okay?" Jack growled in response, "Christ."

"It's bad enough I had to see your goddamn face at all." I hissed.

"Fourteen?" Jack snapped, looking to Jasper, "She's just a fucking kid. How could your damn coven turn her so soon?"

"That's none of your business." I answered for him.

"Jack." Carlisle arrived, coming to stand beside me, "I highly suggest you leave." I was very relieved to see him there. Partially because I knew he'd probably keep me from doing something very stupid, but also because I could see he was alright. Esme came to my other side.

"You." Jack snapped again, his eyes on Carlisle, "What did you _do_?"

"Come closer, and I'll answer for him." I took a half step forward, Carlisle following, "I've been looking for a reason to fight something. I guess your pathetic ass will have to do."

"You shut the fuck up." Jack barked at me, "Nobody's fucking talking to you, you stupid fucking slut."

I attempted to run forward, but Carlisle caught me before I could. Which was probably the smart thing to do, considering the others with Jack would probably kill me before I could get to him. It didn't stop the anger, however. I _hated_ it when he spoke to me like that. I always had, but now it pissed me off in a way it never had before, because I _knew_ I didn't have to just take it.

"Jack." One of the others with him growled, "Let's go."

"I'll be back for answers." Jack snapped, eyeing me again, "Shit! Goddammit!" He was _very_ pissed off for reasons I still didn't understand, but he was gone as suddenly as he arrived.

Carlisle didn't release me until I'd calmed down enough to look up at him.

"Damn." I glanced back as Eli arrived, his coven in tow. Cole, Dess, and their coven also in tow behind them.

"Just missed him." Emmett grumbled, "Better leave it. Who knows how many he's got now?"

Carlisle sighed, shaking his head as Mikah took hold of my free arm, and he released me, letting Mikah pull me to him.

"Son-of-a-bitch." I growled, "Thinks he can just show up here like-"

"He caught our scent." Jasper told me, "He wasn't even looking for you. Our paths just happened to cross. Which is why Alice never saw him coming until she called."

"Well, either way. I can kick his ass now, so if he ever shows up again-"

"You'll stay out of it." Jasper replied firmly, "Don't let your temper make you feel indestructible to him."

"I'm still stronger than him." I reasoned, "I could have taken him, and all of those bastards on."

"Easy win for them." Jasper countered, "You'd be focused more on one person than the rest of them, which means any single one of them would have the advantage. You don't know what you're doing when it comes to fighting multiples."

"That's where you come in." I snapped, "Have you forgotten what he fucking did to me? I sure as shit haven't."

"Leandra." Esme spoke up, and I looked to her, "The language."

"Sorry." I took a breath, "I just haven't been pissed like this in awhile. I'll track his ass down myself."

"No, you won't." Jasper and Mikah spoke up at once, which made it hard to argue.

"Then he better decide against coming back, because I know what scent I'm looking for now." I snapped, pulling away from Mikah to pace a few steps away.

"Easy." Mikah murmured to me.

I took another deep breath. I knew what he was doing, and I wasn't _so_ against calming down. I worked at it, groaning in my reluctance to let it go, but looking up at the snowy sky, I knew I had no choice.

"Come on, Leandra." Mikah spoke again, "Getting you riled up is just what he wants." I looked his direction. I knew he was right.

"None of us have forgotten what happened, Leandra." Carlisle told me, "We just don't want you getting hurt over this. There won't be another chance if he gets the upper hand on you."

"I'm not scared of him." I muttered, looking to Carlisle, "I know I could take him now."

"I'm asking you to be smart about this." He replied, "Being smart about it is much different than being brave. Being smart means carefully considering every fight you might encounter. Really thinking it through." I looked down, "Take a breath, take a step back. Don't let him take your self control."

"Yeah." I grumbled, "God forbid he takes that, since he's taken everything else from me."

"You have every right to be angry at him." Carlisle murmured, "Not one person here can blame you, but running off is not the answer tonight." I held my breath, gritting my teeth, but sighed heavily.

"You're right." I finally murmured, my tone easier, "I know you're right, but it doesn't make this any easier."

"Good job, Leandra." Jasper told me quietly, and I turned around to look at him, "I'm impressed."

"Why?" I asked.

"You controlled your own anger right there." He pointed out.

I blinked in surprise, "You didn't help?"

"Not a bit." He replied, "And had you not been working on your temper, I would have had to." I blinked again.

"Hmm." I muttered, "Wow."

"That's what I've been working towards with you." He continued, "You're doing very well." I finally saw the progress he'd been talking about.

I sighed, "This doesn't mean I'm forgetting about this."

"Of course not." Carlisle spoke up again, "And no one is asking you to. We only ask that you resist the urge to find him. Let him come to us."

"We'll be relocating." Cole added, "It's far safer all of us staying in one place."

"I agree." Carlisle nodded his way, "Thank you."

Cole nodded his way, and sighed, looking to Dess. Alice moved at the same time I did, her coming to stand beside Jasper as I moved to Mikah's side. I was scared, but angry at the same time. I didn't want to be without him in a time like this. I finally understood why I always noticed the others move to their mate's side during times like now in the past.

Nobody said anything about it, least of all to tease me. I wouldn't have cared if they had. Mikah gently enveloped me in his arms, sighing also.

"We'll figure this out." Mikah told me, before looking to Carlisle, "Will Edward be coming up here as well?"

"Possibly." Carlisle replied, "It may depend on what Jacob is willing to do."

"If it's to keep Ness safe, I don't see how Jake could disagree." Jasper added.

"We should head back." Cole murmured, "I don't feel comfortable out in the open." I nodded a little in silent agreement, looking up at Mikah. He wasn't happy.

I didn't stop running until I was safely on the porch, everyone else gathering in the yard. It had begun to snow again. Thick, heavy flakes falling on the yard and everyone in it. Illuminated by the light from inside the house.

"I'll call Tanya." Esme offered quietly, stepping around me. I rounded, following her.

"He was headed in the opposite direction of her." I murmured, "I doubt he'd double back just to find her."

"It's always best to give a heads up." Esme replied, "Just so they know something is wrong. What they decide to do with that information is up to them, but they can at least be on guard."

"Good point." I sighed, "Esme, I'm sorry. About this. I didn't know he was near by."

"No, honey. It's not you're fault." She murmured, "We'll just do what we always do. We'll stick together, and we'll be alright, sweetie."

I stuck to her side like glue the entire time she was inside. Maybe because I felt very protective of her, and she was the only one that had gone off on her own? That's what I told myself. How pathetic would it be if I still sought comfort from my mom?

Of course, she saw right through what I was doing. No doubt understanding how seeing Jack again could make me feel insecure.

She returned to the yard, standing beside Carlisle, which made me feel better. Everyone was there, and accounted for. When did I become so OCD about where everyone was? Probably the second I saw Jack again.

"You'll keep us posted?" Mikah asked as he came to my side, his eyes on Alice, "He doesn't know you can see his decisions, so that could give us the advantage."

"You can count on it." Alice replied quietly, "There's no way he is getting passed me."

"What happened in New York?" I asked and she looked to me, "How'd he get passed you then?" I was honestly curious.

"Ken made most of the decisions there." She answered, not at all offended, "I was looking for someone else making decisions about you, but I couldn't look for your specific future. There's a huge difference. I was getting good at figuring out what was going to happen by looking for the blank spots in a vision. That's not a problem anymore."

I nodded a little.

"I'll know when he decides to come back." She assured me, and I nodded again.

"Relax." Mikah murmured to me, and I only then realized I was so tense I trembled slightly. It wasn't fear that made me tremble. It was tension. Stress.

"I'm fine." I lied.

"Go take her mind off of it." Emmett told him, "Do your damn job."

I glared Emmett's way, but it was clear he wasn't trying to joke. He was being serious.

"How?" Mikah asked incredulously, "I doubt there's a way to do that."

"Be creative." Emmett replied, "But she's going to snap if you don't do something. Seeing Jack-ass again is probably the one thing that could set her off."

"I'm fine." I repeated, taking a breath, "I don't care."

Mikah, after frowning in thought for a moment, nodded and turned. I watched after him as he entered the house.

"Go on, shorty." Emmett told me, "We've got this."

Nobody had to tell me twice. Curious, I turned and followed him. I followed his scent up the stairs, and straight into my room. I shook my head a little at the sound of the bathtub filling in the bathroom. The fragrant scent of the bubbles he'd put into the water had me smiling a little.

He stepped out of the bathroom, and I sighed.

"I don't need a bath." I told him.

"Sure you do." He replied.

"Are you saying I stink?" I joked quietly.

"Far from it." He paused to kiss me lightly before taking my hands in his and leading me toward the bathroom, "But it can't hurt."

I stepped in to see the three large candles on the counter lit, filling the room with soft light.

"Come on." He smiled softly at me, "Please? Let me take care of you."

I sighed, but hesitated.

"Wait out there." I requested, and he nodded immediately with a wider smile. He turned, leaving the room and closing the door behind himself.

A bath didn't sound so bad to me. I had yet to take one since I'd been turned. Strictly showers for me. I shed my clothes and kicked them to the side.

"Just me, right?" I had to make sure.

"Of course." He replied through the door, "I wouldn't try that. You'd kill me." I smiled a little to myself. As long as he understood that.

I stepped into the water, and realized how different it felt than a shower. Having the constant warmth around me was far different than just rinsing off. I should have realized that long before, but it felt new to me.

I sat down, sitting upright instead of leaning back, and since the bubbles hid everything I wanted hidden, I called for him again. He could come in if he wanted to. He hesitantly opened the door, smiling once he saw me. He took a moment to remove my clothes from the floor and lay a robe within my reach, and sat down on the ledge beside the tub to keep me company.

We sat in silence for several minutes. Glancing up, I saw that Mikah's gaze was out the window, as if he were deep in thought. I had to admit, I was thinking just as hard, but I also had to admit. This was a good idea.

I turned my gaze out the window as well, noticing that while we'd sat up here, the snow had picked up. It struck the window with each breeze our direction.

I jumped roughly, turning my gaze to Mikah sharply at the feeling of his hand touching my bare back. He pulled his hand back quickly, probably expecting me to bite him, but I reached up, catching his wrist.

"No." I said quietly, "It's okay. I just wasn't expecting it."

"You're sure?" He asked, and I nodded a little. He hesitantly, gently replaced his hand. Closer to my shoulders, which made it acceptable. He rubbed smooth, soothing circles into my skin, and I appreciated the way it felt. It was like he was smoothing the tension from me with just his hand.

I looked up at him, and his hand moved from my back to my cheek. His hand warm from the burning water, he cupped my cheek in his palm. I closed my eyes, turning my head enough to kiss the palm of his hand.

"I love you so much." Mikah murmured to me, and I opened my eyes again, "I won't ever let anyone hurt you. Not ever."

"I know." I whispered in return. I sighed, "Can you be honest with me?"

"Of course." He replied.

"Why was Jack so mad about seeing me this way?"

He sighed, letting his hand drop.

"I know you know." I continued, "Why was he so mad?"

"Don't do this to yourself." He finally said, "You're just starting to calm down."

"I need to know." I mumbled, looking up at him. He continued to hesitate, "I need to know if I'm going to stay calm. It's okay. You can tell me. I promise I won't lose my shit."

He took another moment, before speaking up again.

"Do you remember years ago, when we first found Jack?" I nodded a little, "We heard everything. Everything he'd done to you so far, and everything he planned for you." I looked down, "I won't get into everything, because the things he said are too horrible to repeat, but one of the things he wanted for you, was to be able to be the one to turn you. He wanted to do it himself, because that's the most painful thing he'd ever be able to do to you, but he would have waited. He'd have waited years to do it, and he'd have kept you."

He fell quiet, probably waiting for my reaction.

"Well, that just makes me glad he didn't get to be the one to do it." I admitted after a moment, "I know you say you don't want me running off to find him, but I won't be stronger than him for much longer."

"If you want to do this, then you'll do it right." I looked back up at him, "You'll be trained, and that takes time. I'm not even confident enough to take him on, no matter how much I want to. There's more to fighting someone than only strength, Leandra. Carlisle's right. You need to keep your temper, and think clearly if you're even considering going against someone like him. And that's even if he gives you the chance to fight."

"Yuck." I muttered, "Good point."

It was silent while he continued smoothing circles over my back. I closed my eyes, taking a breath and sighing it out.

"I'd hoped this was over." I whispered, bringing my hands up to cover my face, "I hate him so much, but I don't want to kill him. Does that make me a bad person?"

"No." He replied, surprised, "No, of course not."

"It has to." I mumbled.

"Why do you think Alice hasn't said anything about his location? She knows that despite what he did to you, despite everything he's put you through, he raised you. That's built an attachment that's going to hurt you to break. We all want to kill him for you, Leandra, but we all know there's more to it."

"So she figures that if he stays out of the way, we won't hunt him down?" I asked, and he sighed.

"It's a little more complicated than that, but essentially, yes." He replied, "Now that she can see his decisions regarding you, it does make it easier to go that route."

I nodded a little.

"Anything else?" He asked, and I looked down in thought.

"Not at the moment." I replied. I sighed again, looking back up at the window, "You want to know something?"

"What?" He asked quietly.

"All I've ever talked about was the bad times with Jack. It wasn't _always_ bad."

"Yeah, just ninety-nine percent of the time." Mikah muttered.

"No," I said, "Sure, he was fucking nuts, but I get him in a way nobody else does. When I was little, it really wasn't always bad. He would take me places with him sometimes. He took me to work with him once. I remember, because I got to sit around the tiny office and watch TV all day. Some lady he worked with bought me a bag of peanuts from the vending machine."

"Father of the year."

"Hardly." I murmured, "But as I got older, he got rougher, but even then, it still wasn't always bad. Sometimes, when mom would sober up enough to get her ass off the couch, I could watch TV in the living room. Always what he wanted to watch, but I didn't care about that.

"It was like.. Sometimes, there was a sort of truce. Where he wasn't yelling or hitting me. I know that probably doesn't sound like much to you, but to me, there was a huge difference between calm Jack, and pissed off, swinging a belt Jack. He was never actually nice to me, and he never treated me like anything better than trash, but it was as close to him being nice as I ever got."

He stayed silent the whole time I spoke.

"I learned to appreciate those times." I admitted, "Don't get me wrong, I still hate him, but.. Maybe those times are why I don't want to kill him."

"Maybe." Mikah murmured quietly. I sighed, shaking my head. As if hoping I could get those thoughts from my mind.

I looked up at Mikah, "Look away for a second." He chuckled, but did as I asked. Facing the opposite side of the bathroom, and blocking his view of the mirror with his hand. I stood up and stepped out of the tub, grabbing a towel and drying off quickly. I pulled the robe on thirty seconds later.

"Okay." I told him, and he turned back around.

I made him look away once more, when I wanted to get dressed, but he didn't seem to mind that either. He was probably just glad I didn't literally toss him from the room.

A fitted tank-top and baggy shorts might not have worked had anyone been around to wonder, but it suited me just fine as I stepped back out onto the porch with a sigh.

"So what are we doing?" I asked, "Just standing around outside, waiting for him to decide to come back? Well, that wasn't a very productive hunt, so I'm probably going to need another one by tomorrow. Think we can swing it?"

Alice sighed, "Leandra-"

"I'm not letting him ruin my life." I told her firmly, "Not anymore. I'm not going to just stop doing everything I've been doing just because he showed up. I've worked too damn hard now to get used to the way things are. I'm not letting him turn everything upside down again. Screw that. No."

Silence almost echoed around me for a moment, and I waited for my answer. My arms crossed, leaning against the right porch post.

"Alright." Alice finally replied, looking to Carlisle, "I'll keep extra watch on his decisions if that's what it takes, but she's right. We can't just stop living again. He's long gone anyway. He's in the middle of his own life now."

Carlisle sighed, "I really don't know. I think it'd be best to stay here."

"_Please_ don't do that. I'll be alright." I told him, stepping from the porch, "Even if he somehow does get me by myself, I can fend for myself now if I have to. I'll take extra training sessions with Jasper. He can teach me what I need to know about defending myself."

"I wouldn't mind." Jasper offered from beside Alice. I smiled a little over at him through the snow, silently thanking him before I looked back up at Carlisle.

"You've gotten me this far." I reminded him, and he looked down, "You've given me everything I need to just keep going. Your job is done. You've done more than enough for me. You don't have to shield me from the world anymore."

He didn't reply, and I began to understand.

"You feel guilty." I murmured in understanding, and he looked back up. Meeting my gaze.

"Leandra, I can't tell you sorry I am."

"For what?" I asked, "Changing me? Don't be. Even if you could have kept me alive, I doubt it would have been a life worth living. I fought it at first, it's true, but that's just because I was scared. It was _so_ unexpected, and there were so many things I had to learn. I was overwhelmed. I'm doing _so_ good now. Ask Jasper."

"I was supposed to protect you." Carlisle argued, "Not this."

"I know it feels different," I replied, "Because you knew me long before you turned me, but I'm grateful for what you did for me. I know you think you did something horrible, but you gave me more than you took. Believe me. Please believe me.

"I'm not human anymore. I'm not fragile. I'm not weak. I have a fighting chance, and _you_ gave me that. All I'm asking is just.. Don't make me stop living my life because Jack crossed our scent. I can't handle that again."

He finally sighed and hugged me. I smiled a little and returned his hug.

"All I've ever wanted, most in my whole life, was to just stop being weak." I continued, holding onto him, "I wanted to be tough enough to handle anything, and you gave that to me. Thank you, Carlisle. Really."

"You've never been weak." He told me, "You've fought hard your entire life. Leandra, just because you're one of us now doesn't mean your fight is over."

"I know it's not." I said, pulling back, "It's a different kind of fight now, but I have all I need to keep going. I _don't_ want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he can throw us all off by just showing up. Especially now that I'm strong enough not to. You have no idea what it means to me to keep going."

He sighed, "I think I might."

"If he comes back, we'll be waiting, Carlisle." Alice offered, "I think we've proved already how fast we can get them back here if they're needed. With forewarning, it'll be simple."

"We can pull it off." Emmett added from the side, "We've handled worse than Jack-ass before."

"I'm not saying to underestimate him." I murmured, looking to Emmett, "But our lives don't have to stop like before. Just keep going. Keep doing what we were doing. That's it. I don't want to go through that again. Remember last time? My hair started falling out after that."

"Alright." Carlisle finally said, and I smiled, "But we'll still be cautious. No fewer than five on a hunt at a time."

"Okay." I agreed easily, "Wait, five including me, or five plus me?"

"Plus." Jasper answered, "Until you know what you're doing. You're not going to be able to rely on your extra strength for much longer."

"I know." I nodded a little, "Believe me."

"Esme and I will be returning much more frequently." Carlisle continued, "Until we know for certain what Edward and Bella are doing, it's going to need to be that way."

"Let them stay there." I suggested, "They have Jake, don't they? Plus however many wolves he has with him. And we're just a call away, right?"

"I don't like staying separated." Carlisle reasoned, and I looked down.

"Just in case sort of thing." I mused, "Build them a house up here."

Emmett chuckled, "I don't think it's about the house, shorty."

"Then have Jake pack his bags, quit being a baby, and get his ass up here too." I said, "Sam's a big boy. He can protect his land on his own."

"I'll visit with them in the morning." Carlisle assured me, and I nodded a little, "In the meantime, I think we could all use a hunt."

"Hell yes." Eli grinned, "I passed a bunch of bears on my way here. Maybe not enough for everyone, but the infant could use a bear, I'm sure."

"Infant?" I jokingly snapped.

"Congratulations." Eli chuckled, "You've graduated from newborn to infant."

"Watch it." I pushed him a little, "I can still kick your ass."

"For now." Eli countered, "Better believe there will be a rematch when you're not as mighty."

"Jack was headed west." Carlisle murmured, "It'd be a good idea to go east."

"I agree." Alice replied.

"West?" I frowned, "Where's he going? Russia?"

"Who cares?" Mikah sighed, "Maybe he'll stay there."

"Doesn't hurt to dream." I allowed, and he laughed.

"I thought it was that new shampoo Alice made you use that made your hair start falling out?" Emmett frowned, confused.

"No, it was stress." I replied, "That really sucked. Thankfully, it quit before it _all_ fell out."

"I'd have gotten you a hat." Emmett chuckled.

"That probably wouldn't have helped much." I laughed a little, "It probably would have made it worse."

Carlisle led the way, Esme and I directly behind him. We went north first, which I knew was to avoid the bigger city of Fairbanks on our way east. I didn't need to wait that long, however. I managed to take a tiny detour to find the scent of a decent sized moose that happened to be out in this weather.

Thankfully, they were patient with me. I knew the whole reason we didn't hunt here now, was because we needed a bigger, more frequented area because our group was bigger.

"Sorry." I muttered as I returned, "Couldn't help it."

"That's another thing I need to work on with you a little more." Jasper told me as we continued on, "Learning when to hunt. How to control your hunting instinct."

"I know how to hunt."

"I meant controlling yourself until you're allowed to let yourself go." He replied, "We can't just be letting you run off at the smallest hint of a deer's scent."

"I've been good." I countered, "We passed like four wolves back there."

"You can never have too much control." He reasoned, and I allowed that with a nod.

Just to show I could, I let the others have first picks when we got to our hunting area. Mikah, Alice, Jasper and Emmett got theirs first, which left them to watch me while the others took their turn with animals a bit further north. Eli took his group and headed further to the west. All staying within seconds of reaching us again if they needed to.

"I've been wondering.." I muttered.

"No, your hair won't fall out." Emmett told me, "It's pretty impossible."

"Shut up." I sighed.

"What is it, Leandra?" Alice asked.

"Am I going to have to go to school like you all do?" I asked.

"That's not for a long while." Jasper told me, and I looked to him.

"I wouldn't be in the same school as you guys." I said, "I'd be on my own. Because I'm so much younger."

"That does pose a problem." Alice admitted quietly, "She'd never pass for seventeen."

"She doesn't even pass for fourteen." Emmett muttered, "Someone would definitely notice when _she_ didn't age any."

"And I didn't even do well in school when I was human." I added, "My luck, some little shit would piss me off, and I'd bitch-slap his ass out the window, or stab him in the eye with a pencil."

Alice winced, "The language, Leandra."

"Sorry." I murmured, looking down, "My point is, I'd probably need a whole lot of supervision, and being at a whole different school than you guys would make that really hard."

"We'll discuss that when the time comes." Jasper murmured, "You don't have to worry about that for quite some time."

I hesitated, before I spoke up again, "I want to try myself around a human's scent."

"Absolutely not." Jasper replied firmly.

"You must be joking." Alice gasped at the same time.

"Leandra," Jasper muttered, and I looked to him again, "That isn't how it works. It's not as simple as deciding to change. Right now, you're addicted to human blood. Alice is, I am. Mikah is. We all are, and trust me when I say that it only gets worse before you can really learn how to control it."

"I'm doing well, I think."

"You are." He said, "Because you haven't had the scent in several weeks. Imagine how you reacted that first time, only worse. A hundred times worse." I winced a little, "Because you've gone without it for so long, the second you smell it, it'll be much harder on you. More impossible to resist. Animal blood does nothing for that until you know how to control it."

"How will I ever learn how to control it, if you never let me try?" I asked. It was an honest question, "Mikah was only a few months old when he was allowed around me."

"Mikah's different." Jasper replied, "Much different circumstances."

"Like what?" I asked.

"Princess, I was basically raised on human blood." Mikah spoke up, and I looked to him, "I didn't have to refrain, but I _did_ have to exercise control from day one. Because it was humans, I had to learn immediately how to resist hunting at the wrong time. That's how I was able to be around you at all. You can hunt any time you feel the need to. Do you get the difference?"

I nodded a little, and Jasper agreed with him, given his nod as well.

"You don't fully understand yet how difficult it'll be to resist the scent of human blood now." Mikah continued, "And until we're confident you won't be stronger than us, I don't see the point in torturing yourself."

"So I have to wait until my newborn stage wears off." I mused, and he nodded a little.

"At least." Jasper added.

I sighed, "Okay. How much longer?"

"Everybody's different." Jasper told me, "Typically, a newborn's newborn stage doesn't last longer than eight to twelve months. After that, you begin relying only on the blood you feed on for your strength. Right now, you're just beginning the stage where you're relying on both. The blood stored from your time as a human, and the blood you take in from hunts. It takes time, Leandra."

"That must be why I feel weaker." I murmured, and he nodded a little.

"You've noticed a difference in your strength and your speed." He nodded, "That's normal. Even newborns that hunt humans notice that difference. Just not as drastically as those of us that hunt animals."

I had to admit, it was nice to finally understand all of this.

"Okay." I mumbled, "Can I have that one, since none of you are taking it?" I was referring to the scent that had wandered near by several minutes before.

"Of course." Jasper replied, "By all means."

"Go for it, shorty." Emmett chuckled. I wasted no time, darting up.

I'd just finished with it as Carlisle and the others came back our direction. I laughed a little at the mess I'd made in the snow, a little overexcited this time, not at all minding the fact that they waited for me. I followed them back to Jasper and that group, where we waited for Eli and his four.

I managed to smack Mikah in the face with a firmly packed snowball once before he started chasing me. I was pretty good at evading capture, even in the knee-deep snow, but he only missed me by just a few inches.

The one time he did manage to grab me, I countered. Grabbing his arm and flipping him onto his back. Stunned, he laid there while I kneeled beside his head, looking down at him. I knew I hadn't hurt him, as I used hardly any force.

"I win." I muttered with a grin.

He chuckled and sat up as he shook his head.

We returned home, and Eli decided to head to Tanya's. To check on her, and make sure their area was okay. I didn't mind that. Tanya was as much his friend as we were. He was very close to them.

Dawn came with even more snow, and though the cold didn't bother me, it did feel good to be inside. Without annoying little flakes falling on me. Having to shake it out of my hair when it accumulated there, since it refused to melt.

Carlisle and Esme took their trip back home to talk to Edward, taking Cole, Dess, and their coven with them. Mainly for protection. I laid upstairs in my bed, comforted by the way Mikah drew slow, soothing circles over the back of my hand with his finger.

I honestly didn't understand how nomads went without this comfort. A place to call home. A safe place to go, to just lay. This house meant a whole lot to me, purely for the safety and comfort it provided. It eased me in a way I wouldn't have gotten without it.

It was such a soft feeling, when everything else was so tough. When Emmett and Rosalie were finally still down the hall in their room, everything got quiet, despite the house having six occupants.

I could definitely understand how it was impossible to feel bored just laying still the entire day. I could definitely understand how it was possible to be laying completely still, but growing closer to someone at the same time.

I loved it.

Despite what the night before had brought, it almost bothered me to be so calm. When I would have been too wound up to lay still before, now it was only too easy. Worrying about Jack was a job for a whole other part of my mind. On the outside, I was as calm as could be.

Looking up at Mikah, he smiled a little, and kissed me softly. Lingering just a few seconds, kissing my nose, before I looked out the window again with a small smile.

I doubted he knew just how much he really did mean to me. The fact that I allowed him to kiss me was probably proof enough, but I doubted he really understood how deep that went.

I finally understood Rosalie's reaction the day I threatened Emmett. I would viciously beat down anyone who wanted to hurt Mikah, and Rosalie was even closer to Emmett than I was to Mikah. That would have been a very stupid move on my part.

Confused, I sat up only a few hours after they'd left.

They were back early. Running straight into the house, only stopping once they reached the living room.

"You were supposed to be watching her." Bella was far from pleased. I darted out of bed, Mikah following.

"You said you'd be right back." Jacob was here, "And you were right back."

"That wasn't me!" Bella snapped.

"How the hell was I supposed to know that?"

Edward was here as well, pacing very tensely and very quickly. I nearly ran into Emmett in the hallway in my rush to get down the stairs, stopping on the bottom step to over look.

"What happened?" Jasper, thankfully, was the one to ask.

"Renesmee is gone." Bella answered sharply.

**A/N: Uh-oh. :)  
I'm sorry this took forever. I've still not been feeling one hundred percent.  
THANK YOU to the reviewer of last chapter! :D  
I'm actually hoping this one has earned more than one review, however, I'll admit lol  
Eleven may take as much time. A little heads up.  
Until Eleven, my friends. :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

"Gone?" This was news to Alice, which bothered me.

"Gone." Bella replied, "Gone. As in, somebody took her. Somebody that obviously looked like me, smelled like me, but wasn't me."

"That couldn't have been Eli." I muttered, "He'd never do that."

"Maybe he did it as a joke?" Emmett offered.

"Even he has limits to what he finds funny." I shook my head a little.

"Who ever it was won't be in a single piece for long." Bella growled.

"Jack had nothing to do with this." Alice said for certain, "I was watching his every decision closely."

"Then who could it have been?" Edward asked, "We don't have many enemies."

"I'm going to go talk to Eli." Mikah growled, striding from around me.

"I'll go with you." Emmett offered, leaving Rose's side. Wordlessly, Edward volunteered as well, by stepping forward.

"All of you, be careful." Esme told them, "If you spot Cole, let them know that the situation has changed."

Jasper obviously couldn't leave. Not with Bella just beginning to calm down. The second he left, she might have exploded. I wouldn't have blamed her one bit.

"Well, if it's not Eli, what do we do?" I felt numb with worry.

"I'll look out for her." Alice offered, "As soon as someone makes a decision with her, I'll see the change."

"There was no scent trail to follow." Carlisle sighed, "We looked."

"They just disappeared?" I asked, finally stepping off the bottom stair, heading into the room.

"Completely vanished." Carlisle replied, and I sighed, "There wasn't even a direction to start looking."

"They could be anywhere." I murmured, shaking my head. With an even heavier sigh, Bella sat down. I couldn't imagine how she must be feeling.

What was I supposed to say? Should I apologize? Should I tell her that Ness would be okay? None of us knew that. Alice said it wasn't Jack that took her. If Jack had been the one to take her, we could easily bet she wouldn't be fine, but we had no idea if whoever had her now would take care of her.

I honestly didn't know what to say. I was at a loss for words.

"Can't you see _anything_?" Bella asked, looking to Alice, "Anything at all?"

"I know she's inside somewhere." She replied, "That's what makes this so difficult. I don't recognize anything about where she is."

"Can you tell if she's okay?"

"Right now, I know she's okay." Alice nodded a little, "But I can't tell you how long that'll last." I winced. Too much information, Alice. She really should have just stopped at 'she's okay'.

Though anyone with half a brain cell could put together how dangerous this situation was.

I reached out and grabbed Alice's arm, tugging her from the room.

"Ow." She muttered, "Ease up."

"Sorry." I replied, turning to face her, "You know more than you're letting on."

"She's alone." She shook her head, "I don't know who I'm looking for. It's obvious that it's not Jack, but I don't know who made the decision."

"What's it look like around her?"

"Dark." She replied, "She's inside a building. Warehouse maybe? That could be anywhere. That could be Port Angeles, anywhere in California, Oregon?"

"Shit." I sighed, "We can't search every warehouse in the country."

"That's even _if_ she's still in the country." Alice murmured, "I don't _know_ where she is."

A thought suddenly crossed my mind, and I jumped a little, excited, "Darren."

"What about him?"

"If it's not Eli, look for Darren." I said, and her eyes brightened a little in understanding, "He can copy anyone's ability, remember?"

"Can he keep their ability?" She asked, "Because I'm pretty sure Eli would have told us if Darren had been around him."

"Worth a try." I replied, "It makes sense. Darren has always been on Jack's side, and the disappearing scent? Jack has someone in his coven that can do that. Eli can't mask someone else's scent. Only his own, but someone else can. They can make a fresh trail seem days old. I remember that part. Maybe they've gotten good enough to cover it completely?"

"Good job, Leandra." Alice nodded, agreeing completely, "I'll keep Darren in mind, too."

Before we could even fully get back into the living room, she was seeing something. Given the way she stopped walking, looking downward, and the way Jasper moved to her side. I turned, looking to her, waiting as impatiently as Bella was beside me.

"Well?" Bella asked before Alice had even looked up for a second.

"Jack just found out about her." Alice murmured, "He's not happy."

"Who took her?" Bella asked.

"It wasn't Eli." Alice replied, looking to me, "It _was_ Darren."

"Fuck." I growled, turning. Darren. The leader of the coven of followers we told to leave after Jasper had to kill one of those members for tormenting me.

"He must have some sort of.. Memory? When it comes to gifts?" Alice murmured, shaking her head, "The point is, Ness is fine. Jack has absolutely no intentions of hurting her yet."

"_Yet_?" I gasped.

"Did you see anything about where she is?" Bella asked anxiously, "We could go get her."

"No." Alice sighed, shaking her head, "She's still in the same place."

"What did Darren want?" I asked, "Why did he take her at all?"

"He saw an opportunity to get on Jack's good side." Alice replied, "And he took it, but Jack's more pissed at him than pleased." She sighed, "He's.. Right now, Jack is undecided about what to do about her. Killing her, or dropping her somewhere are the two options he's considering."

That was too much for Bella. She rounded, leaving the house. I watched after her. This couldn't have been easy on her. Jasper immediately followed her.

"Keep her around." Carlisle instructed him as he passed by, "Don't let her leave the area. We're going to get her back." He sighed, "I'm going to find Edward and the others. Hopefully they haven't done any permanent harm to Eli."

Esme moved to my side, and I hugged her. I knew she was probably worried sick. For once, it wasn't me I had to worry about. It wasn't me in trouble.

"Jack was headed west." I brought up, "Any chance she could be over there?"

"It's a possibility." Alice shrugged, "But I don't trust going over there right now. Not during the day, and definitely not all of us. The problem is, Jack isn't anywhere near her with no plans on going to her soon. That's both a good thing, and a bad thing. Bad, because without him deciding to go to her, I can't follow."

"And Darren?"

"He's already with her. Just in another room." She sighed, shaking her head.

"I hate this." I growled, "If I had my ability, I'd know everything there was to know."

"So work on it." Alice replied firmly, "I know you can."

"What?" I asked, "Now?"

"Now." She confirmed, "Just _focus_. That's all you really have to do."

"I'm not that good at-"

"Stop giving excuses." She replied, "You wouldn't still have it if you weren't meant to work on it. So work on it. Focus everything you have on Jack or Darren. Every thought, every sense."

I sighed, and turned, sitting down. The room fell silent as I forced my thoughts in one single direction. I hated thinking this direction, as I usually avoided thinking about Jack, but I needed to help Alice find Ness.

I tried for several silent minutes, but nothing happened.

"It's not working." I finally sighed, shaking my head.

"Stop doubting yourself." She countered, "Come on. Focus."

"I'm _trying_." I muttered, "Maybe I don't have it anymore."

"_Stop_ doubting yourself." She repeated.

"I'm not doubting myself." I replied, "I'm being realistic."

"It's there." She told me, "I know it's there."

I shook my head again, standing up. She was about to continue speaking, but our attention was taken by someone outside. No one I recognized, so I tensed in response.

This new visitor was a smaller female. About my size, but clearly a year or two physically older. She stood there, smiling a little. As far as I could tell, she was alone. Very stupid move.

"Who the hell is that?" I asked, looking to Esme as she moved forward. She stepped outside, followed by all of us left here. I had no idea where Jasper and Bella were, so it was just us three.

"May I help you?" Esme asked the smaller female across from us.

"I hear someone's gone missing." She murmured, "I'm sure you've noticed by now?" She wasn't here to help. I knew that immediately, moving closer to Esme's side.

"We have." Esme replied, "I don't suppose there's any way for you to help us find her?"

"Sorry." She smiled, "I'm only here to confirm. Where are the rest of you? Darren said there were more."

"Where the hell is she?" I demanded, and she looked to me.

"That's not very nice." She frowned a little, "You'll never find her with that attitude."

"Leandra." Esme attempted to ease me.

"This is my family you're fucking with, and I _really_ don't appreciate it." I snapped in the female's direction, "Now where the fuck is my niece?"

"Well, I'm sorry, but I can't tell you that." She replied, "And from what I can tell, you'd better start looking." Her laugh was really what sealed it. I flew at her before I could think, and before anyone could stop me.

I grabbed her by the hair, pinning her back against a tree. She scrambled viciously, trying to get loose. Esme and Alice, shocked, stood back. I gripped her hair tighter, and spun her around to face the tree. Slamming her face against it.

"Whoa." Jasper had returned, "What the hell?"

I ignored him, holding her tighter, but she managed to slip free and turn back around to face me. She reached out to grab me, but I dodged it, barely managing another grip on her hair. Squeaks, squeals, growls and grunts left both of us, so I could see why they were reluctant to step in.

"Should we stop them?" Esme asked.

"Do you want to lose a limb?" Jasper asked in return.

She grabbed my hair as well, but I shook her off, and pinned her again. Slamming my fist into her face. She was doing nothing with the slaps she did manage, until she did get a good hold of my hair, pulling me forward. Throwing me off, and slipping free. I was on my back before I could even realize what was happening, but I'd held on. Pulling her down with me.

Wrestling with her, yanking her violently to the side, and breaking her grip at the same time. She tried to scramble up, to run, but I held on. She wasn't stronger than me, and that gave me confidence. Both on our knees now, both trying to get the other back to the ground. Dirt was kicked up, flying everywhere.

I wasn't giving up. She attempted to bite me, but I managed to escape that. She wanted to bite? She changed the rules.

I leaned down, and bit her arm above the elbow. She howled in pain, but I was only biting to cause pain. Not tear her arm off. Not yet.

"Get off of me, you crazy bitch!" She screeched, but I paid no attention to that. Whipping her around, and wrestling her back to the ground. I rolled her onto her stomach, perching on her back and twisting her arm behind her. Threatening to tear it off with each struggle she gave.

"If you want to walk away with four limbs, bitch, you better start talking!" I pinned her roughly, "Where is she?"

"Fuck you!" She snarled back at me, but I only twisted harder. Right as I began to hear the sound of stone beginning to tear, she spoke up, "Warehouse! Portland!"

"Where?" I growled down at her, jerking her head back by her hair. She quickly gave an address. I held her there for a moment longer, "Are you prepared to beg for your life?"

"Yes." That sounded an awful lot like a sob.

I looked up at Alice.

"Kill her, or let her go?" I demanded. She seemed lost when I suddenly put her on the spot like that, "Alice?" When she still didn't answer, I growled, half a second from ripping her arm off anyway.

"Stop." Alice told me, and I looked up.

"I can't keep her pinned forever, Alice." I replied sharply, "What do I do?"

"If you kill her, that'll just make things a whole lot worse for Ness." She spoke quickly.

"Well, I can't just let her go." I countered, "For all we know, she'll run off to tell Jack."

"He already knows." Alice sighed, "He's already moving her."

"Where would he take her?" I demanded, shaking the bitch under me again.

"I don't know." She replied, "I swear, I don't know."

"You better start thinking really hard!" I snapped, "I'm done playing around!"

"Leandra." I looked back up at Carlisle's voice. He'd returned with Edward and Mikah in tow.

"Get her off of me!" She cried under me, "Please-"

"Shut up!" I slammed her face against the ground, "You don't talk to them. Time's almost up, bitch. Where is she being taken?"

"I don't know!" She squealed.

"Bullshit!"

"She doesn't know." Edward stepped forward.

"Then she's pretty fucking useless, isn't she?" I snapped his direction, "I know I won't miss her!"

"Leandra, stop." Mikah's voice had me looking to him, "Stop it. Come on. This isn't like you."

"I'm _not_ just letting her go." I growled, glaring heatedly at him, "She's our best chance."

"Let her go." Carlisle stepped forward, standing beside Edward, "She doesn't know."

"I don't buy it." I replied, "If she wants to keep her head, she needs to start thinking really hard about where-"

"I don't know!" She repeated, "I told you everything I know!"

"Shut up!" I repeated as well, "I swear to God if you lie to me one more time, bitch, I will shut you up permanently." She gave a desperate struggle, but I just held her tighter.

"Do you really think Jack would tell me everything?" She demanded, "Think about it!"

"Leandra, let her go." Edward took another step toward me, "She doesn't-"

"I think I know Jack better than you do." I muttered down at her through clenched teeth, "He wouldn't send you here to rub it in if you didn't know where to meet up with him afterwards." She didn't say anything to that. Her sudden increased tension told me I was on the right track.

"Leandra." Edward repeated firmly.

"Shut up!" I snapped at him, "I can't believe you're arguing for this stupid fucking bitch! Do you even want to find your daughter?"

"She doesn't know."

"Well then. Let's see if I can jog her memory." I growled, taking hold of her pinky finger. Promptly ripping it from her hand. She gave a violent twist, her howls of pain increasing. Kicking and scratching with her free arm, but she couldn't get a good hold of me. I held on, growling with the effort to keep her down.

"Leandra." Jasper barked, and I glared up at him next, "Stop it. Now."

"You're too damn soft." I replied sharply. I took another finger, but before I could rip that off too, I was startled.

"She doesn't have any more information!" Edward's tone startled me. I was startled enough for her to slip free, and buck me off her back. I hit the ground, and she was already up. She didn't even try to stick around to get even with me. She was just gone.

"Goddammit!" I pushed myself up. I attempted to follow her, but I was held back. Firmly gripped by both Jasper and Edward. No amount of fighting would get me loose.

"Now look what you did!" I snarled, rounding on them.

"Torturing someone isn't the answer." Edward told me as I pushed passed them, and strode back toward the house.

"You obviously don't want to find your daughter very badly." I snapped bitterly, "I can guarantee that she has more information than she was letting on. Being a mind-reader does _not_ make you fool-proof."

Edward countered, "And being raised and trained by Jack does not mean you know him better than any one of us."

"Excuse me?" I spun on the spot.

"Guys.." Alice murmured, trying to calm us down.

"Don't pretend to understand a goddamn thing about what I went through!"

"Yes," Edward snapped in return, "What you went through. _Went_ through. That's a joke. You're still going through it."

"Fuck you." I growled.

"Guys." Mikah tried now, his tone calm, "Cool it, okay? Come on. This isn't helping anyone."

Edward continued, "Until you face it, there's no way you're moving passed it."

"I have faced it." I replied, my voice trembling in my anger, "You wouldn't know a fucking thing about it, Edward. What kind of life did you have growing up?"

"What does that have to do-"

"It has everything to do with it!" I snarled, my voice echoing around me, "You're the one that decided to poke at how I was brought up. You're the one that turned to this subject. You're such an expert at horrible human lives, right? Tell me, oh fucking wise one. What should I be doing differently, that I haven't already tried? Why don't you stick to what you're good at? And please, for fuck's sake, spare me the arrogant, hypocritical bullshit!"

"How is pointing out the obvious hypocritical?" Edward asked, crossing his arms.

"Because believe it or not, you don't know everything about every single person that ever walked the face of the _goddamn_ planet." I replied, "Giving advice where no advice was wanted, and implying relentlessly that just because _some_ of us have had a little bit of a rougher start than you, we're automatically troubled. Just because you can hear what goes through my head, without even stopping to look at yourself. Would you prefer I use a different word, or does 'hypocrisy' cover it?"

"Do you even realize what you were doing just now?" He demanded now, increasing my own tension, "Do you?"

"I was _trying_ to get some fucking answers." I answered, "Because it seems to me that I'm the only one willing to do whatever it takes to get Ness back home. Which is pretty damn sad, considering you're her father. You're supposed to be going that extra mile. It shouldn't matter to you what has to be done to get her back.

"Instead, you just let our only lead go because you're too fucking scared to watch someone else get their hands dirty with the job you _should_ be doing! It's no fucking wonder nobody found me in that basement sooner! Because nobody, not one person here was willing to do what had to be done to get the answer they needed!"

"Leandra." Esme's firm tone had me taking a breath in.

"Don't worry." I snapped, my eyes still on Edward, "I'm about done. You want to play it safe? Let's see how long that keeps your daughter alive. If what I went through is any indication, she's going to need all the strength she has. You might be too scared, but I'm not giving up. I'll get her back _for_ you."

I rounded on the spot, heading for the house.

"Leandra?" Edward called after me, "May I finish what I was saying?"

"Go fuck yourself, Edward." I growled over my shoulder. He didn't try again.

I made it upstairs into my room. The best chance I had at calming down was in my room. Anywhere else wouldn't have worked. Before I could slam the door behind myself, Mikah caught it and pushed his way in.

"Are you going to start in on me too?" I snapped, rounding to face him, "Let me know how horrible of a person I am? Well, _excuse me_ for trying to do what was needed!"

"Easy." He murmured, shaking his head, "Come here." I took a breath, shaking my head as well but accepting his hug nonetheless.

"Tension is high." Mikah told me, "Everyone is on edge, but I don't think you realize what you were doing. You would have kept going. Do you remember Candace?"

"The name rings a bell." I muttered bitterly, stepping back.

"She was the member of Cole's coven Jack chose as an example." Mikah explained, "He pulled her apart. Little pieces at a time, just like what you would have done."

I was silent for a moment in surprise.

"What I was doing was completely different." I murmured.

"I know." He said, "You had a reason, but the others aren't seeing it that way."

I looked down in thought, sighing heavily.

"Can you go talk to them?" I asked, "Please? I need to stay up here. Out of trouble."

"Of course." He sighed, kissing my forehead. He left, and I sat down on the bed with a sigh. I didn't know why I bothered to sit down. It didn't bring any sort of relief to me. It was just the same as standing. Old habit, probably.

I was still tense, wound up. What could I be doing to find Ness? What more could I be doing to keep her from knowing what kind of person Jack could be? I knew where she had been just moments ago. The only thing I could think of was tracking her from there.

I stood back up, suddenly wondering. Would Alice see any of my decisions if she was watching so close for Jack and Darren's?

If they didn't want to go, I'd go. I'd go, and I'd bring her back. None of this passive-aggressive bullshit. I wasn't going to just sit back and hope an answer fell from the sky. It didn't matter to me that I had actually no idea what I was doing when it came to tracking somebody. I turned for the window, sliding it open effortlessly. Down in the backyard, there was nobody waiting for me.

I'd go, and I'd bring her back.

I dropped from the window, landing perfectly silently. Before I was even fully settled on the ground, I started my run. I didn't know what I would do when I reached Portland, considering I had no idea where that address was, but I would try.

West, then south. It took me longer than needed, because I had to skip the large cities, but I knew I couldn't allow myself to breathe anywhere near the populated areas. I needed to breathe, to smell for my family. No doubt they knew by now I was gone.

Getting to Portland without being seen, or killing someone was going to be difficult. Considering the area was _very_ populated. Even with holding my breath, it was getting to me. Even holding my breath, I could still almost smell the scents so close. _So_ close.

Cars, houses, buildings. Places, all places where humans were. So many humans. One or two wouldn't be missed, would they? I shoved that thought from my mind. I had a goal in mind. I couldn't fuck it up, or let myself get distracted.

However, how was I supposed to find her if I couldn't smell for her scent? How was I supposed to find her if I couldn't concentrate?

I stopped in the closest almost unpoplated area near Portland. Hiding in some trees and foliage from the spotty sunlight. Was I really strong enough to resist? Should I wait here until tonight? That was too much time. Hours between now and nightfall.

I'd have to go now. I'd have to be careful, and quick. How was that even possible? I'd just have to do it.

I took one more breath of clean air, and started forward. Quickly, as quickly as I could, I crossed the major highway outside Portland, headed straight for the city center. Over streets, intersections, dodging cars and people. Nobody even seemed to notice me. I was moving too quickly for them to really see me. All the while searching street signs, and building numbers.

Shit, shit, _shit_. The heartbeats all around me were driving me insane. Even without breathing. This had to be one of the hardest things I'd ever done as a vampire. There was no _way_ I was going to make it out of here without killing at least one person.

I stopped in the darkest part of an alley, just to look around myself for a moment. I'd never really been in Portland before, so I had no idea which way was which. Warehouse. I needed warehouses. I needed to see.

I pulled myself up the side of a building, I crossed the rooftop. Carefully making sure nobody could see me where I was. Hidden in the shadow between two rooftop air conditioning units, I crouched. Looking around for anything that might have resembled a warehouse.

Five streets up, I caught the sight of a street sign that looked awfully familiar. I immediately took off. Across the top of the building I was on, leaping easily to the next.

Quickly, I told myself. Hurry up, hurry up! Faster.

Luckily, there was only one warehouse on the entire block. It was huge. Boarded up windows, easily identifiable as run-down. Dusty, more mold than I'd ever encountered in my life. I slammed through one of the windows on the upper floor, and darted across the dusty, barren floor. Down the six flights of stairs to the ground level. No human had set foot in this place in a good long while.

I could easily smell that this was the place. She'd been here, but she definitely wasn't here now.

"Fuck!" I shouted, kicking a fallen brick through the remnants of a window. A breeze blew through the window, kicking up the dust on the floor.

I suddenly knew then. They were coming to find me. I had to move, and move quickly. I dove out the window, thinking the entire time. I hated how Alice could spy on me with each decision I made. Though it didn't take a genius to figure out where I'd go, it still bugged me.

I scooted up the side of the building next door, perching on the roof. Thinking hard, focusing all I had on where Jack might take her. It only then occurred to me.

Alice said they were moving her. That meant she already knew where Ness was. She could see the decision, so she knew where she was being taken. Why didn't she say that? The only reason she wouldn't bring that up was if she was trying to keep it from me. That wouldn't make any sense, unless she was trying to keep from upsetting me.

Seattle.

Fuck!

I rounded, heading back across the city. Straight shot north. Not caring anymore if anyone saw me. Pushing, tearing forward as fast as I could. Over buildings, from one to the next. If Ness was hurt when I got there, I was going to go ballistic.

I had to have made it in record time. This was even more dangerous, however. Coming from the south, there were many other places I had to get through to get to where I needed to be. Many large cities surrounded Seattle. So closely packed, it was pretty much like one alarmingly huge city.

Could I remember where exactly the house was? Did I even want to go there?

Before I could even get close to Seattle, or even the furthest city from it, I was tackled inside the woods. Pounced on from the side by someone very heavy. Another helping the one on me to haul me to my feet.

"Dammit, Emmett!" I shouted, pissed beyond belief. Glaring over at him to my right.

"The others will be here in a minute." I growled at Edward's voice to my left, "You're lucky Alice saw you coming this way."

"You're lucky Emmett caught me off guard." I snapped, "What the hell are _you_ even doing here?"

"Leandra, that place is packed." He replied, "I'm not letting you just run in there like a raging bull."

"Why not?" I muttered, yanking my arm from Emmett's grip. Shoving Edward away from me. I wasn't going to run, but I definitely hated being restrained.

"Because that would be unspeakably idiotic." Edward replied. I heard the others approaching. They really weren't that far behind me.

"I could distract them." I told him, "While the rest of you go in."

"You wouldn't last five seconds."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"I'm being realistic." He snapped, "Charging in there would be pretty much suicide." I rolled my eyes and looked off in the direction of Seattle. Still wondering how I was going to make it. Edward spoke up again, "And a few more things. Don't you ever question what I'm willing to do for my daughter, and don't you _ever_ question what this family is willing to do for you. You clearly have no idea what you're talking about when it comes to either one."

"Yeah, well-"

"Just because I never resorted to torturing someone who clearly had no answers to what you were asking her, _knowing_ we'd eventually get the answer we were looking for if we were only a little patient, does _not_ mean I won't go to the ends of the Earth for her.

"Brute strength and torturing someone when it's very obviously not needed will not solve all your problems, Leandra. The sooner you learn that, the better off you will be."

"Back off." I snapped.

He took the warning, turning and pacing a few steps away. It didn't take more than a few seconds longer before the others reached us. Jasper immediately strode forward, taking my chin in his hand and turning my head up. Studying my eyes.

"How many?" He demanded.

"How many what?" I asked.

"Humans." He clarified, "How many did you have?"

"None." I muttered, jerking my head back.

"Not one." Edward actually stuck up for me, "She was entirely focused on Ness the whole time. We caught her right here, before she could get to Seattle."

I turned to Alice, "Why didn't you say anything before?"

"Leandra, I don't want you going there." She replied firmly, "There's a reason I didn't tell you where she was being taken. I don't want you there."

"Well, I gathered that part." I snapped sarcastically, "You still could have told me, and saved me from having to go almost two hundred miles the wrong direction."

"None of us asked you to leave." Alice reminded me, "Not only was that dangerous, it was reckless. Do you know what kind of trouble you could have been in if Emmett hadn't been here?"

"I don't care." I countered sharply, "I'm not just sitting back-"

"Do you care," Edward shut me up momentarily, "That we'd probably have to figure out a way to rescue you as well? Had you gone in like that, the only result would be you being captured along with Ness. Or killed immediately because you are a threat."

"You know what?" I growled, "I'm not talking to you, so shut the fuck up."

"Watch your language." Esme briefly took my attention.

"You're only proving my point, Leandra." Edward continued.

"Yeah?" I asked, "And what point is that?"

"Do _not_ answer that." Alice told him firmly.

"Both of you, stop it." Carlisle put an end to the arguing. I shut up, and Edward shut up, "If you want to sort this out, do it later. Right now, I need everyone focused on one goal, and the bickering between you two is not helping. Am I clear?"

"Crystal." I muttered, looking down. I took a breath, attempting to calm down.

"Mikah," Carlisle spoke up again, "Take her home."

"What?" I immediately looked back up at him, "No way-"

"Leandra." Carlisle murmured, "Please. Don't argue with me."

"Why?" I asked, "Why can't I help?"

"Because you _don't_ help." He replied, the stress in his voice making his tone seem sharp. I fell quiet, "You don't follow. You want to lead. You want to go off on your own. Until you can learn to follow our rules and _our_ guidance, you're only a liability. You're a risk to the personal safety of everyone here. A risk that I'm not willing to take.

"Further more, your thirst will only make this exceptionally harder. We cannot afford the supervision you'd require. Not if we're going to do our very best to remain undetected and unharmed. I'm afraid that right now, you'd only get in the way. I'd prefer having the peace of mind, knowing you were back home and safe."

I stayed quiet, giving a look around. Everyone seemed to agree with him. Nobody saying a word in argument.

"But.." I murmured, "I can help. I know I can help. I wouldn't get in the way. I promise."

"Just do this _one_ thing." Carlisle sighed, "Go home, Leandra, and stay there. Wait for us. Please."

Slowly, Mikah moved forward and took my arm lightly in his hand.

"Don't bother." I muttered, yanking my arm from his hand, "You stay, Mikah. They'll need you." I turned. Walking back toward home.

"Leandra." Mikah called after me.

"I'm going straight home." I snapped over my shoulder, "Ask them." I knew he knew who I was talking about, "I made it this far on my own, didn't I? I'm not a damn baby." He sighed, but let it drop.

I did make a pit stop, however. The house in Forks.

Alice couldn't complain. I was safer here than I would be in Denali, with the wolves probably pacing this area. I could understand why Jacob wasn't there helping everyone else. People would probably panic if they suddenly saw giant wolves roaming downtown Seattle. They couldn't protect themselves while phased human.

I knew I was watched the second I stopped in the yard, but given my scent, they knew I belonged here.

I had to admit. I missed this place. This was my home, and I hated having to leave it. From the moment I first saw it again as a nine-year-old, it always had been.

To my surprise, the front door was unlocked. I stepped inside, letting the door close behind me. I looked up and around, sighing. I so suddenly ached for the way things used to be. When there really wasn't so much to think about. When there really wasn't so much to learn. This constant struggle, the constant need to know everything about myself, and never knowing the right way to react to things was getting to me.

I missed how easy it used to be. Sure, I had less to worry about like this, but did I really want to trade everything I had ahead of me for my strength? I had the option to grow up before I was turned. To get older, to keep moving forward. That was gone now, and what good was having this new strength if I had to give up my possibilities?

It felt like each step I took forward, every new thing I learned, I stayed right where I was before. Like there was no progress, no reason to keep trying. What good was having this new strength if my family couldn't rely on me?

I missed what I had before. I missed my family. I missed my past, strangely enough. I was closer to them now than I'd been before, but it surprised me to realize that I'd trade everything I had now to feel the safety and protection I'd felt with them before. The love, the sense of family, it was all gone now. It had changed. They said it was still the same, but I could see it. The difference. The way things had changed.

It didn't feel anything like a family anymore. It felt like a job. An obligation to those of the coven I belonged to. I missed the sense of protection, the sense of safety they gave to me when I was younger. I missed the way I knew they'd be there.

I missed my father, and my mother. The comfort I found in them. The calm, patient way Carlisle would explain something I just couldn't understand. I missed the way Esme would talk to me about anything that was bothering me. I missed allowing myself to talk about things. I missed the role they filled before, instead of just being my coven leaders now.

I missed my brothers, my sisters. I missed the way Emmett would pick on me, and me not lose my temper. I missed the simple times, the less complicated problems. My past was anything but easy, but it made it so much easier back when I knew I'd have their support, instead of just expected to be okay.

I missed the way it used to be. The trouble, the normal trouble I'd get into. I missed my room, I missed sleeping. I missed the normal things. I missed being raised, instead of being trained or taught. I missed the feeling I'd get when I'd finally understand something.

It wasn't like that anymore, and it was hurting me to lose that. Maybe that was why I turned on them earlier. Maybe that's why I fought this from the beginning. I knew I'd feel like this, like I lost something. Like I traded all I had for something of much lesser value, and that bothered me. I was doing better, but that wasn't my choice.

Most of all, I missed crying. I had always hated it when I had to cry, but it always told them how I felt. It told them how badly I was hurting. Now, I couldn't express anything without either going too far with it, or seeming like I'm overreacting.

It wasn't fair.

I ascended the stairs, headed right for my room. I stepped in, and crossed the room to my bed. I laid down, curling up on my bed, just like I used to. Squeezing my eyes shut, praying to wake up. Back before everything changed. Back before I turned into this.

"Please.." I whispered to the room, "Make this stop. Take it back."

I laid there for several minutes, just waiting to wake up, but I knew I couldn't sit still for long. Sitting here on my own, it wasn't how it should be. They weren't my family anymore, but they held every bit of my loyalty.

I suddenly sat back up, shaking my head. I had to go back to them. I shouldn't be here.

I left the house much faster than I had entered it, closing the door behind myself. Racing through the trees, ignoring the burn caused by the scent of humans so close, I pushed faster.

They'd probably already moved on, moved closer to the house. Six minutes from downtown Seattle. I somehow recalled the address perfectly, and I knew right where they were. I knew right where I was going.

Something had gone wrong. They'd been caught. While I was stuck in my self-pity, something had happened. Well, since when did I ever listen to what Carlisle told me? Stay there? He was dreaming.

I made it to the house without hardly a thought toward the humans around, which was a feat in itself, but coming here was a whole other story. Hiding between the side of the garage and the tall hedges against the chain-link fence, hesitating. I could easily smell how many were inside, and it intimidated me. It scared me. It made me want to run, but I couldn't. Not knowing who else was inside.

I couldn't tell, though, exactly where my family was inside the house. I knew they were inside, as I could smell their scent among all of the others, but I couldn't tell where.

Listening close, I could hear Jack's voice. He was speaking to someone, but I'd missed the beginning of his little speech. He sounded farther away. Muffled by distance, multiple rooms away from where I crouched.

"Because, you see," He was saying, "It's not you I'm looking for, but you know that."

Silence for several seconds.

"Where is she, Carlisle?" Jack seemed more patient now. He didn't know I was here? I must have been quieter than I thought. He was talking to Carlisle, but where were the others?

And dammit, where the hell was Cole? Eli? Weren't they supposed to be helping to prevent this damn outcome? Useless. The whole lot of them.

Given how many scents were coming from inside the house, though, they wouldn't have made a difference. I had to admit that. They would have just played fodder.

I looked around. There was no way into the basement from the outside. I remembered that much, but maybe there was a window unattended? How was I going to get inside?

"Would you really rather trade the life of your entire family than give her up?" Jack asked, catching my full attention.

Hell no. He was not going to force Carlisle into that sort of situation. I wasn't going to let him.

I rounded the house immediately, shoving through the front door. I'd obviously startled the five in the front room, given the way two of them immediately reacted, pouncing on me. I hit the floor hard, biting my lip in pain, but holding back the growl I felt trying to escape.

"Jack." I called from the floor. I could hear him move, and his chuckle made me mad.

Ahead of me, he arrived in the kitchen, and I knew he'd been in the basement. The basement where my life changed forever, where I nearly lost my life and who I was. This was cruel. Even for him.

"Oh, look who it is." Jack strode forward, "Just the newborn I was looking for." The two pinning me moved, and I immediately darted to my feet, but Jack caught me. His hand painfully twisted in my hair, my arm twisted behind my back. Pushing me forward, and steering me toward kitchen and the door I remembered so clearly, "We've been waiting for you. Come on."

The six in the kitchen parted, allowing Jack through.

I resisted briefly, my fear beginning to choke me. Despite my anger, I couldn't help remembering clearly the worst two weeks of my entire life. Every second spent in this basement worse than the last.

He forced me forward, and as much as I wanted to kill him, I couldn't. Not being held the way I was. He shoved me through the door, darkness making my eyes work harder to see.

"From the moment I started planning how to get back at you," Jack muttered conversationally as he forced me down the stairs, "I always knew this would be the perfect place to bring you. Lucky me, you came to me. You just made my whole day, you little bitch."

Giving a quick glance around, I noted that every single one of my family stood down here now. Carlisle, beside Esme and Mikah to Esme's right. They stood closest to the stairs. Emmett, Rose and Alice all stood off to the side near the sink. Jasper standing beside Alice. Edward and Bella against the opposite wall, Ness hidden behind them.

"It's a reunion." Jack chuckled, "I didn't change a thing. Can't you tell?" I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block out the overwhelming panic I recalled so clearly. He sighed, "I'll leave you here for a little while before we begin. Just like I told them. If you cause any damage to the structure of the basement, or attempt to open that door, the consequences will be severe. Use your imagination. Get it?"

Meaning, no knocking down any walls or tunneling out. I nodded as much as I could.

"Good." He sighed, shoving me forward. He retreated up the stairs before I even caught my balance. I was more tense than I ever remembered being, giving a look around. Even though I could see perfectly, the darkness made me feel claustrophobic again.

My eyes found the dark stain in the cement floor, knowing exactly what that was caused by. The mattress against the wall across the room. Bare as the day I left it. The dark stains on it, my blood all over it. It was still there.

"Leandra." Alice spoke up.

"No," I muttered, "I can't be in here. I can't be in here." I backed up, feeling very cornered.

"Leandra," Alice tried again, "Why did you come back?"

No doubt she was trying to distract me. I couldn't answer her yet. I didn't know I could feel panic in this life, but I certainly could. With a memory as vivid as this, it was very difficult not to panic, and just like with every other emotion, it was ten times as intense as I ever remembered feeling before.

I was ready to start tearing down some walls, or start burrowing up through the floor. My fearful expression had to give away how I felt.

To my surprise, it was Esme that stepped forward. She was the only one brave enough to approach me, but I backed up. I didn't trust myself not to hurt anyone too close to me while I felt like this, and despite how I felt Jasper trying to help, I could feel myself resisting. I needed to get out of here. I couldn't be here.

"She's freaking out." Emmett spoke up, looking to Jasper, "Can't you do something?"

"I'm trying." He replied, "It might take some time."

"I can't blame her." Rosalie muttered, giving a glance around, "I really can't."

I backed up, my back hitting the wall at the foot of the stairs. My fingers digging into the brick behind me.

"Leandra, don't." Alice moved forward as well, but I couldn't retreat anymore, "Calm down. Answer me. Why did you come back?"

"I had to." I finally answered, "I knew something was wrong, so I came back. I knew where you were." I took a breath, forcing myself to speak again, "Is she okay?"

"Ness?" Alice asked and I nodded, "She's fine."

"I'm fine." She stepped forward, and I looked to her, "See?" I did see. Completely unscathed. She didn't have a scratch on her. Surprisingly, that helped calm me down a little more. To see she was fine eased me, but how long would that last?

"Alice," I muttered, unable to move from my tense position, "What's he going to do?" She looked down, unwilling to answer, "It's bad, isn't it?"

"She won't answer that." Mikah murmured, "She hasn't since we got down here. Were you really in here for two straight weeks?" He frowned, looking around.

I hesitated, before I looked down. I couldn't be here. I couldn't do it.

"Jack!" I shouted, attempting to scramble up the steps. Alice caught me. I was prepared to surrender. To beg, plead and do whatever he told me to do, just to get out of here. Alice was preventing that.

She locked her arms around me, pulling me away from the stairs. I resisted, but I didn't fight. Too afraid of potentially hurting her.

"Shut up down there." Jack called through the door, hitting it, "Get comfortable."

I whimpered, but did as he said. When I stopped resisting so much, Alice didn't hold me so tight. I moved away from her sharply, starting to pace. It completely sucked being in this position. I could physically do something about where I was, but I was restricted from doing so, and with how outnumbered we all were, it'd be stupid to go against a direct order like that.

"At least I can see around me now." I murmured, my tense voice hardly making a sound.

"That might not be such a good thing, shorty." Emmett replied gently.

"Thanks." I snapped. For smashing my one attempt at easing myself.

"Easy, Leandra." Jasper tried, "Breathe-"

"I can't breathe without smelling everything." I grumbled, "This is torture. I'm losing my damn mind already and it's been exactly seven minutes."

I wrung my hands together as I paced, barely holding on.

"When do human memories fade?" I asked, glancing at the dark stain on the floor, "Why couldn't it be instantly?"

"It takes a little while." Jasper sighed, "Longer for the more vivid ones. Just try not to think about it." I squeezed my eyes shut, turning away from the stain.

"I can't be in here." I whispered to myself, shaking my head, "I can't." I was having trouble. I couldn't deal with this. Across the room, Ness sighed, and slid down. Sitting down, leaning back against the wall.

"Options?" She asked.

"Where the fuck is Cole?" I asked, looking to Carlisle, "Isn't he supposed to help?"

"I told him and Dess to stick around Tanya's." He sighed, "Eli is with them."

"Why?" I frowned.

"This wasn't their fight." Carlisle replied, "And I wasn't about to ask him to lose more because of us."

"Well, call him or something." I whined, "Tell him you changed your mind."

"I can't do that." He murmured, "Even if I did have my phone on me, I couldn't."

"I can't be in here." I moved forward, "You don't know what it was like for me in here. I'm _begging_ you."

"I could call Jake." Ness murmured, "I don't know how he and the guys are going to get to us in one piece, though."

"They can't phase." I grumbled, "I know."

"The humans would completely lose their minds." She found that a little funny. It'd be nice to have her calm nerves right about now. Mikah attempted to move forward, but I stepped back.

"I'm not looking for hugs." I warned him, "I might hurt someone."

"Fair enough." He murmured, "But it really bothers me to see you like this." He looked to Jasper, "Can't you do something?"

"I'm trying, but it's not working."

"Not working?" I asked, "What do you mean 'not working'? It always works. Try harder."

"Sometimes it's tricky." Jasper replied, "Especially when a newborn gets old enough to figure out how to resist it."

"I'm not resisting anything."

"You're heavily guarded right now." He countered, "You don't mean to, but you're resisting it. You need to calm down a little on your own if I'm going to help you."

"If I could calm down on my own, then I wouldn't need your help." I snapped.

"Try sitting still." He suggested, "Sit somewhere."

"I'm not sitting anywhere in this God forsaken basement." I shook my head, "I'm not sitting, I'm not touching anything, and I sure as shit am not going to breathe, so if that's your next suggestion, feel free to shove it right up your-"

"Leandra." Mikah sighed, "Please-"

"Jack!" I shouted again, "You unimaginable bastard! You fucking asshole! Couldn't think of any worse punishments, could you?"

Alice sighed, "Leandra-"

"Congratulations!" I called, "You picked a good one! What's next, huh? Tear off a limb? Light me on fire? Huh? Maybe stick a fork in my eye?" I clearly heard everyone above us start to laugh. I growled, "Glad I amuse you. Really. Really fucking glad I amuse you."

I started pacing again, waiting for their laughter to stop. It took awhile.

"The fork wouldn't work." Ness murmured, watching me. Know it all teenagers. They bugged the shit out of me, even if I was, and still partially was one. Physically, Ness was closer to my age now. Gaining almost a year in only a few months.

I paused across the room from the stairs, spotting the ashtray sitting on the workbench beside the mattress. I smacked it across the room, nearly accidentally taking out Emmett. The plastic ashtray almost hit him right in the face, but he ducked at the right time, and instead, it shattered into small shards against the wall, but that didn't help me feel any better.

"What was that for?" Ness wondered. I didn't answer. I didn't want to snap at her. That had been the ashtray Ken always used. I couldn't recall a time I didn't see a cigarette burning in it.

"I don't remember you being this bitchy." Jack called through the door, "Shut the fuck up. Last warning."

I paid attention now. Against the wall at the foot of the stairs, I crouched, squatted down. Irritated beyond belief, but fearful just as much.

"We could try to fight them?" Ness suggested.

"There are over thirty up there." I muttered, "That'd be suicide."

"Maybe he just wants to talk." She murmured.

"And maybe the sky is purple." I sighed, looking over.

"All I'm saying, is that I'm fine." She said, standing.

"You got lucky."

"Ease up a little." Emmett told me, "Come on."

I sighed, "Sorry, Ness." I murmured. Crouching here, I could definitely feel Jasper's efforts helping me.

"It's okay." She replied, coming over to crouch beside me, "This is hard on you, but you came back."

"I had no choice." I admitted, looking over at her. I sighed, looking around, "Now comes my favorite part. Sitting here, waiting for someone to come down those stairs. Welcome to the living hell part of this place."

"Was it always this dark?" Emmett frowned.

"Always." I muttered, "Unless someone was in here with me. I was here in March, though. It was a lot colder then."

"There's got to be something we can do." Ness mumbled beside me as Mikah slowly came over to join us. He squatted beside me, closest to the stairs.

"I'm not seeing a whole lot of options." I murmured bitterly, "I can definitely understand now why he always needs so many with him. I'd have torn his fucking head off three times over by now if it weren't for them."

"Outnumbering us forces us to stay manageable." Jasper told us, "Because we've seen the consequences of attempting something while being this outnumbered. He's learned that well by now. We'd have a little bit better of a chance if Cole and Eli were here, but even then, I would not recommend trying anything."

I didn't bother replying to that.

We sat there in silence for hours. Nobody said a word. Probably all lost in wondering what it was like for me in here, but the stains on the floor and fabric of the mattress painted a pretty vivid picture.

I glared at the mattress from across the room the whole time, hating the fact that it still existed. Right where it always had.

"Leandra," I looked up as Carlisle finally spoke up, "I'm so sorry."

"For what?" I asked, confused, "It's not your fault I'm here now. Since when do I ever do what you ask me to do?"

"Not that, though I am sorry you're here now." He replied, "I'm sorry you were ever in a place like this. It's appalling."

"I got used to it." I sighed, "The first week I was here, I got used to the dark, and only learned to hate it when I could see around me. When it was dark, that's when I knew I could rest, but that kind of flew out the window when Ken replaced Jack. I didn't rest at all then." I was fully aware of how quiet my voice had gotten during that explanation. I sighed, "Just being here now makes me feel tired. Not physically, but.. Run down. Hopeless."

"That's to be expected." Carlisle replied, "Try not to lose hope, Leandra. We'll figure out a way out of here."

"We always do." Emmett murmured, "We're good at it by now, shorty."

I forced a tiny, depressed smile. It was a good attempt, but not good enough.

I jumped as the door up the stairs came open, and we both froze. I shoved to my feet, pulling Ness up behind me. I looked up, watching as Jack started down, the sound of his footsteps on the wooden steps instilling more fear in me. The memory alive again of how many times I heard that sound, and how often that sound had resulted in pain.

I moved to the other side of the room, Mikah following as I got closer to everyone else. Jasper's gift ceased to work, and I was instantly overwhelmingly tense again.

I watched Jack closely as he casually descended the stairs. He wasn't stupid. He had several others with him, no doubt just in case. I crouched against the far wall now, behind everyone, but being careful not to touch the mattress beside me.

"Which one of you is responsible for Becky losing that finger?" Jack asked the room, giving a glance around. Figures he'd ask the one question that forced me to answer him.

"Me." I offered when no one else did, "I'm also the one that bit her."

He blinked in surprise, "Really?" I nodded, drawing more in on myself in defense.

"The others are the reason she's still alive." I admitted quietly, "I would have killed her if they hadn't stopped me."

"Good job." He told me, "She was unspeakably pissed when she got here. You can't even imagine. It was a good laugh." I glanced to Edward, knowing I'd been right.

Jack sighed.

"Alright." He spoke to the room again, "You, you, you and you.." He pointed to Emmett, Jasper, Mikah and Carlisle, "Over there. Back against that wall. You and you," He gestured to Esme and Alice, "Stand with them. You three.." He looked toward Edward, Bella and Ness behind them, "Move back a little. But you.." He pointed to me, "Come here."

I hesitated, tensing.

"It's okay, Leandra." Alice told me, "Go ahead." I glanced to her. Was she nuts?

"Go ahead." Edward told me now, and I glanced to him. Slowly, mostly to keep from startling Jack, I rose to my feet.

"Come here, you bitch." Jack didn't like how I hesitated, "I'm not getting anywhere near you while you're cornered like that. I'm not stupid. Get your ass over here now before I pick someone to start separating."

"She's scared." Jasper told him, "Give her a moment."

"You know what?" Jack snapped his direction, "Nobody asked you, so shut the fuck up."

I recognized those words. I'd said those exact same words earlier. The realization froze me to the spot for a moment longer. Was that what Edward had been getting at? Had I been acting more like Jack lately?

"What are you going to do?" I asked instead, taking Jack's attention back to me.

"Get over here." His voice raised, and I flinched. I hesitantly took one step forward. He watched, waiting for me to take the other steps. I took another, hesitated, but crossed the room to him without much more hesitation.

The second I got there, the backhand he gave me had me hitting the floor. He really put effort behind that, and despite the way I could handle it now, it still hurt like a bitch. The yelp from my family nearly took my attention, but I pushed myself up with my arms.

"That's for taking your time. Get up." Jack growled down at me. I hesitated again, receiving no other warning. He kicked me roughly in the face, and I fell back. I growled this time as I slowly pushed myself up with my arms.

"Get up." He repeated, and I immediately stood up, "Better." He sighed, looking me over, "You're sure not the scrawny little bitch I remember. You say you're fourteen?"

"Almost exactly." I muttered, watching him closely.

"Well, I can work with that." He chuckled a little. He sighed a little, "Look. I didn't volunteer to take her." He gestured to Ness, "That wasn't my idea. So all of this," He gestured around him at my family, "Was a pretty stupid move. When are they going to learn? Unless I'm actually planning to, there's a pretty damn good chance that I won't bother whoever I have. Chances are, I probably would have just let her go, but.."

He sighed, walking around me. Studying me. Like the time I saw him as an eleven year old, he studied me.

"You know, I have a real opportunity here." Jack murmured, "I have the opportunity to remove the entire Cullen coven. I have two choices. Do I? Or don't I?"

I looked to him.

"You want me to beg you?" I asked, "It doesn't matter whether or not I do, because you'll still do what you want."

"It took you this long to learn that?"

"No." I replied, "I've always known that."

"I failed with you." He moved on, continuing to circle me, "I failed, but see, that's not entirely my fault. It's not your fault, either." Frowning a little, I was confused, "It's theirs."

"Stop blaming everything on everyone else, Jack." I murmured, looking down, "You chose the wrong kid."

"Everything was going fine until that bitch showed up." He gestured to Alice, "And then Carlisle followed."

I closed my eyes, shaking my head, "Stop it."

"Stop what?" Jack asked, "You know it's true. I know you know. Had they minded their own damn business, they wouldn't be here now, would they?"

"You know," I muttered, turning to face him, "For someone who thinks so little of me, you're sure going to a whole lot of trouble to get me back for something you did wrong. Your dad was right. You're pretty fucking pathetic."

He strode forward, attempting to grab me but I moved. I didn't try to hurt him, as not to provoke his friends. I only avoided his grip.

"Do you even realize that it was wrong?" I growled, rounding to face him, "Normal people don't beat their children! Normal people don't.. They don't.. Visit them in the middle of the night! Normal people don't starve them, constantly put them down, or yell at them! Normal people don't lock them in their room, or in a box outside for days at a time!"

"I raised your ungrateful ass!"

"You didn't raise me!" I snarled in return, "You trained me! I grew up tolerating your bullshit, because I didn't have another choice! It was your fault mom started drinking. You made sure she did, just to get her out of the way. Sure, you thought about killing her, but then where would that put me? In Idaho with my real father."

He stood there, stunned for a moment.

"What mom was like was entirely your fault, and you wouldn't have had it any other way." I continued, "It wasn't my fault mom drank, and passed out every day. That was your doing, and it worked, didn't it? I didn't have another choice, but the second I had another choice, I took it. What does that tell you? You turned out just like your father, but you failed with me.

"I'll never turn out like you, because I got to see what it meant to be loved. Cared about, supported, and not treated like garbage. I hate you, Jack, for everything you've ever done. I hate you for standing there, I hate you for breathing. I hate your face, your eyes, your fucking smile. I hate everything about you. I hate you more than I've ever hated anyone."

"Then I'm happy." He replied simply, "You're telling me that you'll never turn out like me, but in the same breath, you're expressing your hate. Hate is what fuels me, bitch. Or have you forgotten that? I taught you true hate. The kind you can never let go of. I won. I didn't fail. That hate is going to grow, and when it does, I'll be happy to show you how to embrace it. Otherwise, it'll tear you apart."

It was my turn to stand there stunned. He was right. Realizing that kept me still for too long. I couldn't move out of the way before he grabbed a hold of me.

He gripped my face in one hand, staring into my eyes, "You're turning into something I can finally say I'm proud of. You're starting to see. How satisfying it is to cause pain, and how gratifying it is to hurt those you care about. Tell me I'm wrong."

I didn't say anything. Glancing away from him. I really hated how close he was.

"You're more like me than you want to admit." He told me, "What? Nothing to say now? Thought you were being so smart earlier, didn't you and now.. Suddenly nothing?"

I jerked my head away, but didn't dare move to try to bite him. No matter how much I wanted to rip his face off, that was a guaranteed bad choice. He wasn't making it easy, however.

"Tell me." He said, suddenly enthusiastic. He reached up again, grabbing onto the back of my neck in a painful grip and dragging me forward, "Does this still smell like you?" He shoved me to my knees beside the mattress. He just kept pushing, no matter how much I resisted, "Home away from home, huh? Is my dad still right, you stupid slut?"

I twisted, trying to get from his grip, but he held tighter, hurting me while forcing me lower. Just the sight of all the stains of blood on it made me sick, knowing full well that it was me. It was pure torture.

I growled a squeak, which was an odd, desperate sound from me, trying my hardest to back away. He had the upper hand in position, however. Literally. I couldn't back away without backing right into his hand, and right against him.

"You stay there." One of Jack's group growled, and I knew who they were talking to.

Jack stopped pushing, but held me there, probably looking back at Mikah.

"Ah." He chuckled, standing up. Dragging me with him, thankfully. Turning me toward Mikah, and I looked up at him pleadingly, "You her boyfriend?" Mikah stayed silent, so Jack continued, "Trust me, kid. You don't want this piece of trash." Jack looked down at me, "Right?"

"Right." I whimpered, cringing a little as he held even tighter to my neck. I could feel my skin cracking slightly under his grip, but I knew he was being careful.

"You're wrong." I winced at Mikah's defiant mutter, "You don't know a damn thing about her."

"I know enough about her to know that she's not worth a damn thing." Jack replied calmly, "If I know my dad, he made sure she wasn't worth anything. You don't want her. Not to mention what I've done to her." He was trying to provoke a response from them, "You know she's not good for anything unless she's on her knees. I taught her that a long time ago. Didn't I, slut?"

I closed my eyes in humiliation.

"You're wrong." Mikah repeated, shaking his head.

"Aw," Jack chuckled, "Isn't that sweet? Wait, aren't you the one that was there with her that night? Wasn't she a little young for you?"

"It wasn't like that then." Mikah replied firmly.

"Really?" Jack smirked, "Then what was it like? A lovely little brother-sister relationship? Maybe the best friend." He leaned me back a little so he could look at me, "Isn't it weird fucking someone you consider your brother?"

"Stop it." Mikah spoke up before I could, "Leave her alone, Jack."

"I'm sorry." Jack chuckled sharply, "When did you become her keeper?"

"Leave her alone." Jasper spoke up for me as well, "Haven't you had enough?"

"Of course not." Jack replied, "She's my favorite thing to torture. Nothing satisfies me like knowing she's praying every day that I don't come back. Then I do."

"You're sick." Alice growled, "Very disturbed."

"Thank you." Jack smiled, "No, really. That.. That really means a lot to me."

"That wasn't a compliment." Alice replied.

"Well, I took it as one." He chuckled.

"It's okay." I muttered, "Please don't piss him off." I winced again, reaching back and attempting to loosen his grip just a little. He slapped my hand away.

"I'm in a pretty good mood." Jack told me, "Don't worry about them pissing me off. Now, shut up, would you? I'm talking."

"Unfortunately." I grumbled. Knee-jerk response. He glared at me, but didn't say anything about it. Instead, he sighed, looking around.

"Let's get down to business, shall we?" Jack muttered, "Which one of you turned her?"

Uh-oh.

I spoke up, "Jack-"

"I did." Carlisle murmured, glancing to me.

"Carlisle." Jack smiled a little, "You knew the rules. You know what I do to those that touch what's not theirs." I really didn't like where this was going. I didn't like the sudden squeezing panic in my stomach.

"You weren't there, Jack." I spoke quickly, "He had to."

"Was I talking to you?" Jack snapped, jerking me back again. He looked over at the hoard of friends he brought down with him.

"Bring him forward."

**A/N: Sorry for the cliff-hanger. It was begging me to do it.  
THANK YOU for the magnificent reviews I got for chapter ten! I'm over the moon. :D**  
**I'm sorry this took so very long. I had a lot on my plate this last week. I really do apologize.**  
**It's looking a lot like chapter twelve will be the last of this story. :( As much as I don't really like that news, it's got to be that way. **  
**A little bit of info about the story following this one: It'll be in a whole new point of view. I haven't quite figured out all the tiny little details, and this is something I've not had a lot of practice with, but we'll see how it goes, shall we? :)**  
**But I still have twelve to get you all through, so no worries about that yet.**  
**Until twelve, my friends! :D**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

Carlisle had his full attention, but there was nothing I could do to help.

"No." I said immediately, "Jack, don't."

Despite what I said, two took hold of Carlisle's arms and pulled him forward. Toward the center of the room.

"Jack." I said firmer, "I would have died."

"Then he should have let you die." Jack countered, looking down at me.

"Don't hurt him." I was actually pleading now, "Please don't hurt him. I'll do anything you want."

"Wow!" Jack chuckled, "You sure changed your tune quick, didn't you? Keep going. I like it."

"I asked him to change her." Mikah spoke up, and I looked to him as Jack did, "It wasn't his choice." Dammit! I knew what he was trying to do, but it wouldn't work the way he thought it would. Guaranteed.

"Oh." Jack murmured, surprised, "Okay. Then you die too." He gestured for him to be brought forward also.

The second his arm was taken, I started to fight. Jack actually had to use both hands to keep hold of me, wrestling me to the floor on my back. He had to straddle me to keep me pinned.

The sounds I made during my fight called many more down the stairs.

"Calm the fuck down." Jack growled, one hand pinning both my wrists above my head, the other around my neck. How was he this much stronger than me? He made this seem so easy.

"Please." I couldn't say much else for a moment, "Please, Jack. Don't hurt them. Don't hurt them!" I struggled harder, growling with the effort, but it really wasn't working.

"You know the rules as well." He sighed, "Look, I'll be nice. I'll let you say goodbye first, although I'm not too sure how nice that is. Look at them. Look at them, and know that what's about to happen is entirely your fault."

"No it's not." Carlisle immediately said, "Leandra, don't listen to him."

I actually sobbed, despite the fact that there were no tears that could fall. Writhing as hard as I could, I nearly slipped free, but the punch he gave to the side of my head stilled me. If he'd hit me any harder, he would have damaged me.

"It is your fault." Jack told me, "Do you know why?" He moved his hand up a bit, moving his hand up my neck to hold onto my jaw as well, "Because you didn't do what I told you to do. This is what happens when you don't _fucking_ listen."

"I'm sorry, okay?" I whined, "I'm sorry!"

"It's a little too late for that." He chuckled, the effort he had to use to hold me down showing in his tone.

"It wasn't their fault!"

"You don't belong to them." Jack reminded me forcefully, "You belong to me. You always have, and you always will. It wasn't their right to turn you. It was mine, and Carlisle is going to pay first for taking that right from me."

He leaned down and kissed me briefly, chuckling as I hissed in disgust and attempted to bite him. He slapped me, before he forced my head further to the side, until I was looking straight at Carlisle and Mikah.

"You should have made them forget your name when I told you to." He told me, "Instead, they get to die, and you get to watch."

I writhed again, struggling several times harder as Carlisle was first forced to his knees, Mikah beside him brought down as well.

The others all literally had to be held back, Emmett effectively pinned on his stomach. I hadn't even noticed when that happened. Too preoccupied with the psychopath sitting on me.

"Jack." I was getting desperate, "Please!"

"It's not going to work." He chuckled, thoroughly enjoying himself, "Although, you have grown.." He paused, looking me over. I grunted, kicking and thrashing harder. He just countered my movements, easily pinning me again.

"Anything." I whimpered, "Jack, I'll do anything you want. Just _please_ don't hurt them."

"Anything is a lot." Jack grinned above me, "Are you _sure_ you want to agree to that?"

"Don't do it, shorty." Emmett growled into the cement floor. I glanced over at him, but I found Esme's gaze first. The one holding her smoothing his hand over her neck, and I could see her tension. Her fear. She was afraid. Almost as much as I was.

Neither Carlisle or Mikah seemed scared, but I was sure both she and I were scared enough for the both of them. I was scared, terrified that I was about to lose them both.

"Leandra," Mikah murmured, shaking his head, "Don't do it. Don't beg the son-of-a-bitch." Easy for him to say! He wasn't the one about to watch two of the people he cared about most get killed.

"Tick-Tock." Jack whispered, "What's your decision, bitch?"

"Anything." I finally murmured, looking back up at Jack, "Whatever you want. Don't hurt them. Please."

Jack chuckled and I really hated the sound. He leaned down and kissed me lightly. I squeezed my eyes shut, and dealt with it. Pursing my lips, and trembling with the effort it took to hold back the instinct to bite him. I had absolutely no choice but to let him if I wanted them unharmed.

Mikah growled from where he was, giving a struggle of his own. I didn't like the sound of his growl. I hated it. It signified his unhappiness. I honestly didn't know who was more unhappy. Him or me. I thoroughly hated the entire situation.

Jack sighed as he sat back up. Well away from where I could do him some damage.

"Sorry," He said, "It's not that easy." I growled, almost snarling in intense frustration, kicking the floor in my attempt to buck him off of me.

"Someone get over here." Jack muttered, "Hold her. It's about time I end this. I want to be the one to do it."

Two others replaced Jack, hauling me to my feet as Jack turned away. With a well timed jerk, however, I slipped free.

"Shit." Before that word was even out of my captor's mouth, Jack had been punched across the room. Hitting the wall on the opposite side of the room, and I was moving for the one holding Carlisle. My entire focus on that one person.

Two steps forward, though, and I was taken down in a very heavy tackle. I cracked the concrete with how hard I was landed on, face down just inches from the mattress, and with that impact, I learned that Jasper had known exactly what he was talking about.

"Whoa." Jack was heavily amused as he got to his feet. All of three seconds had passed, and I knew immediately that that mistake wouldn't be made again.

"Nice try." Jack told me, stepping back over, "I guess they underestimated you. See what happens when we underestimate, Logan?" He addressed that question to the one hauling me back to my feet by my neck.

"Sorry, Jack." Logan chuckled a little as I attempted a struggle, "Won't happen again." He forced me to my knees in front of him. He stood directly behind me, prepared to tear my head off if I moved wrong. I even felt the tension in his grip. He was ready. The other was standing close-by, but he should have known he wasn't needed.

"Just.." Jack glanced back at where I kneeled, addressing the one holding me, "Keep your hands to yourself, alright?"

"No promises." Logan murmured thickly, "She's pretty cute." I growled, but he slapped my cheek. Shutting me up.

"Yeah, well.." Jack grumbled, "I don't want to have to kill you too. Soon as I'm done here, you'll get your chance to get back at her."

I whimpered this time, his words registering to me. I didn't like what he was implying. Emmett growled, and I vaguely noticed Jasper's eyes narrow as they both understood as well.

"Then hurry the fuck up, would you?" Logan replied sharply, "Just do it."

"Don't." Across the room, Ness spoke up. Jack looked her direction, "Please don't hurt them." He hesitated, obviously thinking about her words.

"Get her out of here." Jack finally said, "Take her and the other two. Let them out."

"Out?" I asked nervously.

"I don't want her to watch this." Jack reasoned with a chuckle, "It wouldn't be very nice of me, and I kind of like that half-breed."

I watched, turning my head as much as I could as the three of them were escorted up the stairs. Just like that, the three of them were gone. They were free, at least. What we'd come here to do was done, but we were still in trouble. This was probably not what Carlisle had in mind. I wanted so badly to struggle again, but I couldn't. Not with the one behind me so eager to kill me.

Jack chuckled, and started forward.

"Jack, I swear." I growled, "If you do this, I will never stop until you're dead."

"Ooh." He grinned back at me, "Vengeance. I love it. Do you promise?" I glared heatedly, "Maybe I should make his death slow. Remember Candace?" At that name, a few of his coven chuckled. Including Logan as he flexed his hand around my neck, testing how sturdy it was.

"You were there, weren't you?" Jack grabbed hold of Mikah's hair, forcing his head back to look him in the eye with a grin, "That went on for ages, didn't it?"

"Go to hell." Mikah growled up at him.

"I probably will eventually." Jack replied, unphased, "But not today. Admit it. You had fun on the spectator's side."

"No." Mikah replied, "I'm not like you. I have better things to do than torture someone for no reason."

"Better things to do?" Jack asked, gesturing to me, "Like that bitch over there?" I winced, averting my gaze. Mikah fell quiet, but Jack took that as answer.

I looked back up at the sound of Jack punching Mikah violently in the stomach. I remembered when I did that to Eli. Somehow, this seemed harder. It didn't panic him to lose his breath, but I could tell that the impact had hurt him.

"You _don't_ touch what doesn't belong to you." Jack told him condescendingly, punching him again before he could fully recover.

"He hasn't." I spoke up, taking Jack's attention.

"Why not?" He demanded.

"None of your fucking business." I snapped in return. He chuckled, hitting Mikah a third time. Mikah clenched his teeth, biting back the quiet growl of pain, but Jack moved away from him. His sight now on Carlisle. With no warning, Jack hit him next.

I gave a fight, but Logan kneeled behind me, holding me more effectively. He leaned closer, holding me tighter, and took a hissing breath in against the side of my head.

"Now, settle down." He growled into my ear, "I'd hate to have to kill you for misbehaving before I can take my time with you." Logan could really make his voice creepy. I cringed away as much as I could with a whimper.

Jack watched the entire thing, amused, by the smile on his face.

"It's okay, Leandra." Carlisle told me, "Don't fight. Don't struggle. It'll be okay."

"No it won't." I replied quietly, "It won't."

"How sweet." Jack murmured, "Tell her, Carlisle. Tell her the situation isn't as bad as it looks."

"Hurry it up." Logan barked at him, "Or I'm not waiting." His fingers teased the exposed skin passed the slightly lowered collar of my shirt, and I squealed another growl, trying to twist away from the feeling.

"You'll wait your goddamn turn, Logan." Jack snapped, "You can have one of the others first if you want, but I get her first." Were they really squabbling over this?

"What about just a feel?" Logan asked, chuckling into my ear again as his hand slid a little further down over my collar bone. My hands tightened over the wrist of his hand over my neck, but he growled a warning, telling me he wasn't having that.

"Don't you fucking touch her." To my surprise, Emmett spoke up.

"Or what, fucker?" Logan snapped at him, pulling his hand from my shirt, "Do something."

"Have Jack-ass let me up, and I will." Emmett replied, "You wouldn't stand a chance."

"Whoa, whoa." Jack growled, and I looked to him. He was positioned just right to pull Carlisle's head off if he chose, "Now, no name calling."

"Jack!" I snarled, hating the sight, "Jack, dammit! Stop!"

"Say your goodbyes now, you bitch." He chuckled, "Or you might miss your chance." Esme and I gave a struggle at the same time. Mikah even fought, looking over as much as he could, giving a desperate growl of his own.

Carlisle was as much a father to him as he was to me. Carlisle was the reason he got to stay at all, as he was the one that gave him the chance to stay. Probably going against everything he knew, taking another coven's member. It was Jasper's suggestion, but Carlisle's decision, because he wanted me to be happy.

Mikah also knew, no doubt, what losing him would do to me. How much it'd hurt me to lose the one person I could ever consider a father.

"I agreed to anything!" I reminded Jack forcefully.

"And I appreciate that." Jack replied, "But we're not negotiating, slut. I don't know where you got the idea that we were."

"Don't watch, Leandra." Carlisle told me calmly, "Look away. Now." I sobbed again, pulling forward as hard as I could, but Logan pulled me back, laying a subtle kiss on my neck as I landed back against him. This was killing me. If something didn't change, I knew Jack was going to do it. Panic formed a growl in my chest.

"Look away." Carlisle told me, "It's okay."

"Why aren't you fighting this?" I demanded, my tone betraying my desperation.

"Tell her it's all going to be okay." Jack muttered to him, and I could hear how thin his patience had gotten, "Tell her that even though she's about to have every single person she cares about ripped apart in front of her, at the very least, everything will be fine. Go ahead, Carlisle. Lie to your daughter."

"Fucking coward." Mikah growled, and Jack took a second to punch him in the face.

"Do it." Logan barked as I gave a harder struggle.

"Times up, bitch." Jack's patience was over, "I'm happy to say that this will probably hurt."

I clenched my eyes and teeth at the same time, turning my head as much as I could. As much as it bothered me, I wasn't strong enough to watch this. The grief already crushing.

"Wait, Jack." Alice spoke up, and both he and I looked to her.

"Oh, come on!" Logan snarled.

"Shut the fuck up!" Jack snarled at him in return, "If you're that damn desperate, get the fuck out, and go find Becky before you piss me the fuck off." Multiple curse words in that tone meant he was already getting pissed. He turned his glaring eyes back to Alice, "What do you want?"

Undeterred, Alice spoke again, "Can't we have the chance to explain why we did what we did before you kill him?"

Jack sighed heavily this time, very clearly annoyed.

"It won't take long." Alice added, "You do have the right to know." I sobbed again quietly, trying to adjust how I was held. Just a little more room around my neck was all I was looking for. Logan was tense.

Could this really work? Or was Alice only stalling for time?

"I think that can wait." Jack told her.

"When you kill either of them, she won't want to talk." Alice replied, "I can guarantee she'd rather rip off your head than tell you anything." Jack looked to me, "That's just how it is."

"Fine." He barked at her, releasing his hold on Carlisle. He turned sharply before I even had a chance to sigh, looking to me again, "Explain. How'd.. This happen?" He gestured to all of me.

Hesitantly, I looked to Carlisle. I saw something like hope in his expression, instead of the grim resignation that was there before. How could he hope at a time like this? I was too busy freaking out to even consider hoping. He gave a nod, and I sighed.

I hesitated, looking down. Logan sighed heavily as well, giving me another little slap, but before he could pull his hand away, I whipped my head to the side and bit him. He jumped back, away from me and I released easily. I wasn't trying to harm him, but the slapping had to stop. The one beside him laughed, replacing him the second he was away from me.

To my relief, Jack laughed as well.

"Fuck!" Logan growled, "That really hurt!"

"Serves you right." Jack told him with a chuckle, "I fucking told you to keep your hands to yourself."

"Yeah, yeah." He grumbled, inspecting his hand, "Ow.. Goddammit. That's going to scar, you fucking bitch." He strode back over, raising his closed fist to hit me. I cringed away as much as I could.

"Hey." Jack's bark made him pause, "You touch her with that fist, I'll burn it off you. It's my job to beat her. Not yours, understand? Back the fuck up."

Logan growled, glaring at me but did as he said. Turning away, and heading back to the other side of the room. I had to admit. Jack knew how to lead a coven. They certainly knew to listen to him. Whether by example, or just intimidation, I wasn't sure.

"Go ahead, you little animal." Jack told me, and though I shot a dirty look to Logan, I spoke up.

"I was with the boys." I finally said.

"The boys?" He frowned, "Who?"

"Josh." I replied, "Zack, and Hunter." He understood, given the way he paid closer attention, crossing his arms over his chest, "Out back of the house, there's a river there. Zack had the stupid idea to see who could jump across. It was narrower there, and I knew he'd be okay, but it was still stupid to try."

"That sounds like him." Jack chuckled.

"I told him that." I continued, "But he wouldn't come back over to my side, until I jumped over to his first."

"And you fell in?" Jack smirked.

"No." I said, "I made it, but Hunter almost didn't." His smile immediately faded and he visibly tensed, "I told him not to try it, but he did anyway. He almost fell in, but he caught a ledge about four feet down, and I.. I managed to reach him, and I pulled him back up. He was fine. Carlisle made sure he was okay, but.. I didn't have the grip I needed to save myself."

He was silent.

"That's when I fell in. Head first."

"She broke her neck in three places." Carlisle added quietly, "Nearly drowned. I couldn't just let her die." Jack glanced to him, this time with no noticeable hatred.

"If I hadn't sent Josh to get Carlisle," I muttered, "I probably wouldn't be here telling you this." The others fidgeted a little. Probably not liking that thought any more than I did.

"Are you bullshitting me?" Jack asked quietly. I shook my head, "Let me get this straight." Jack didn't seem angry, which surprised me, "You.. You risked your life to save my son's life?"

"That little shit is your son?" One of his group asked. The one holding Alice, "Is that who you've been stalking?"

"Shut up." He barked at him, ensuring he fell quiet. Jack looked to me again, waiting for his answer.

"Yeah." I murmured, "I didn't even think twice about it."

He took a breath, turning his back to me. Confused, I looked to Carlisle from where I still kneeled. He glanced to me, understanding more about what was happening than I did, clearly. Not a whole lot could make it through my panic.

"Shit." Jack muttered to himself, "Shit." He turned back around to look at me, "I didn't know that. I had.. Literally no idea. Why? Why would you do that?"

"Because he's four. Three at the time." I replied, confused, "And he needed my help. I wasn't going to just let him fall. He would never have survived that water."

"You almost didn't."

"So?" I asked, "He's my brother. Half brother, but still my brother. I couldn't just turn my back on him when he needed me, no matter how much I hate you. It's not his fault you're his father."

He was silent again. Obviously thinking very hard about something.

"That's what family does for each other, Jack." I murmured, quieter now, "That's how it's supposed to work. That's why everyone's here. That's why everyone came to help Ness. That's why I came back. That's what they taught me.

"They taught me that no amount of fear or anger could tear a real family apart. When your family needs you, you're there. It's not something debatable, it's just something you do. It doesn't matter if it might get you killed. I might not be able to contribute much, but I'd rather be here for them in any way I can be."

He never interrupted me. He just watched me, and I got the impression that he was actually listening for once.

"And he was alright?" Jack asked, quieter than I'd ever heard him.

"He was fine." Carlisle answered for me, "Maybe a bruise here or there, and a little shaken, but he was fine. He went home with Heather the same day."

Jack looked down, shaking his head.

"I didn't know that." Jack laughed once, but his humorless smile immediately faded. I waited, staying quiet now. I couldn't understand the way he was looking at me. The look in his eyes made me curious, but nervous at the same time because I didn't understand it.

"Stand up." He muttered. I hesitated, unsure, "Get up. Come on." Slowly, I rose to my feet, stepping away from the one that had held me. Nervously, I looked toward Carlisle.

"Let them loose." Jack continued, and immediately, everyone was free. Including Mikah and Carlisle. I didn't understand a damn thing about what was going on, but I wasn't asking questions as I moved for Mikah and he wrapped me tightly in his arms.

Nobody moved to hurt anyone, which probably was best. Emmett got to his feet, moving away from both the ones that pinned him as well with a dirty look their way. Mikah moved us closer to the others, Esme immediately coming to my side. Carlisle beside her.

"I know." Jack finally said, and I looked to him from where I stood now, "I know that you didn't do it for me, but.. Thank you."

"What?" I asked, shocked.

"Thank you, Leandra." He repeated, and I couldn't breathe for a second. Stunned beyond the ability to breathe. It was so weird to hear him use my name instead of the degrading things he usually called me. I could probably count on one hand the times he actually called me by my name the entire time I was growing up.

"My son.. He's my whole world." He continued, "If I had known that you did.. That for him, I never would have.." He shook his head again, looking down, "I never would have brought you here."

I stayed quiet for a moment, before I replied, "You're welcome."

"Why didn't you say anything earlier?"

"Because I didn't think it'd make a difference." I replied honestly. Where the hell was this going?

"Man, am I glad I didn't off you two." Jack muttered, his eyes on Carlisle now. I looked down, wincing at just the mention.

"I'm pretty grateful too." Mikah admitted, but nobody said anything else. It was tense, silent in the room despite how packed it was. I watched Jack, waiting for what he was going to do.

He looked to me again, before taking several steps back. Gesturing to the stairs.

"Go." He said and I stood there, stunned even more. We all hesitated, "Go on."

"What?" Logan demanded.

"You're serious?" I had to make sure.

"I owe you much more than this, Leandra." He murmured, "Now, just go. All of you. I'm not going to stop you."

This very sudden turn left me feeling almost numb. I couldn't believe he was serious. There was no way he was just going to let us all go. It had to be some sort of trick. Carlisle went to move, but I caught his sleeve, stopping him and watching Jack closely.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"What you did for Hunter was more than I would have ever asked from someone like you, Leandra." He answered, his tone tense with an emotion I couldn't understand. For once, the 'someone like you' part didn't sound like an insult. He continued, "How I.. Treated you your entire life made no difference that day. It didn't do a damn thing to stop you from doing what you thought needed to be done. Now _please_. Go. Get the hell out of here."

My hand dropped from Carlisle's sleeve. If Jack wanted us to leave, I wasn't going to talk him out of it. I just needed to be sure, and I was suddenly sure.

Carlisle started for the stairs first, Esme following close behind. Taking my hand, and pulling me along with her. I looked back at Jack one last time before I couldn't see him anymore. He stood there, arms crossed and staring at the blood stain on the floor.

The rest of Jack's group upstairs had heard everything Jack told us, and we managed to get out of the house without an issue. They just let us leave. Just like that.

It was well passed evening, so we didn't need to worry about the sunlight.

"Come on." Alice murmured to me, placing her arm around my shoulders and crossing the yard with me. I was still somewhat in shock, unable to do much but let her pull me along with her. Mikah close behind me, the others leading.

Edward was waiting, pacing outside the house in Forks, where I was positive we'd be spending a little while. Alice wasted no time in leading me inside.

"What the hell was that?" I finally asked, looking up and around.

"Gratitude." Jasper answered, "It's a powerful emotion, and it can do wonders. It can change a person."

"You?" I frowned.

"Him." He shook his head, "His gratitude was all his own."

The rest of my questions could wait for a moment. I rounded, and hugged Carlisle. I couldn't help it. I whimpered, more relieved than I'd been in a long time. He was okay. It had been close, too close. I didn't like how close I'd come to losing him.

He sighed, returning the hug.

"I worried for you." Carlisle admitted.

"Me?" I asked incredulously, "I would have agreed to anything if it meant you'd be okay."

"I know." He replied, "That's what worried me."

"Where's my hug?" Emmett demanded, "I was the one pinned on the floor." I took a few more seconds before pulling back and hugging Emmett next. I had to admit, it made me feel better to hug him, instead of biting him or knocking him across the yard.

"I say we burn that house to the ground." Emmett suggested. Esme was the next one to hug me.

"I'm so proud of you." She told me.

"Why?" I asked, confused.

"Despite the situation you stayed calm." She replied.

"I don't remember being calm." I murmured doubtfully, "I think I was the only one freaking out, actually."

"Considering where you were and what was happening, I think you were entitled to be a little stressed."

"Ness was calmer than I was, and she's way younger."

"Look at who raised me." She reminded me from where she sat on the stairs, "I'm calm all the time. Except when I'm excited. I'm not calm when I'm excited." I looked to her, "And I'm not that much younger. I'm catching up now that you stopped aging."

"Even she's going to be older." I muttered, "Like that's fair. I remember when you were born."

"I remember being born." She countered, "That doesn't mean much, huh?" I had to laugh a little at that.

"I guess I'm stuck as the runt." I sighed.

"I have to say." Jasper spoke up, taking my attention, "I'm proud of you as well."

"For what?" I asked again.

"Not a single human, Leandra." He reminded me, "That's astonishing for your age."

"I was distracted both times." I replied, shaking my head.

"That's not entirely true." Edward murmured, and I looked to him, "You wanted to hunt plenty of times, but you never did. That takes work."

"Yeah, well.." I muttered, looking down, "I also knew I didn't have all the time in the world, because you guys were right behind me."

"The reasons why you did it don't matter much." Edward replied, "It's the fact that you were able to refrain at all is what's important here. It's a step in the right direction, Leandra."

He was the next one I hugged.

"I'm sorry." I told him.

"Don't be." He replied, "It was a very stressful moment. I lost my temper as well. I apologize."

"I know you were right." I muttered, pulling back to look up at him, "I do sometimes act too much like Jack. I do have a few flaws that I'm not proud of, but I am trying."

"I know you are." He nodded a little, "I shouldn't have said what I said."

"That was an awesome fight, though." Emmett chuckled, "I wish I could have seen the whole thing. You were an animal, shorty."

Alice sighed beside me, hugging me as well.

"And if you ever agree to 'anything' again, I'll kick your ass." She muttered. I smirked a bit at her use of the curse word.

"I will anytime it's necessary." I replied honestly, "I thought sure we'd established by now that I don't care what happens to me?"

"That needs to change." She murmured.

"Who would have thought what I did for my brother was what could change his mind?" I murmured, shaking my head.

"I did." Alice replied, "I knew it'd work."

"You?"

"Jack went through a lot to get a son." She explained, "Knowing his son was in trouble, but you helped him? It was guaranteed to work. Why do you think I suggested it?"

I hugged her again, tighter this time.

"You're brilliant." I told her, and she laughed a little, "Unbelievable. 'Thank you' doesn't even begin to cover it."

"He might be a sadistic psychopath, but he honors his debts." She explained a little further, "When someone does something for him, he'll return that favor. Apparently, no matter who it is."

"I didn't even think of that." I admitted, sighing as I stepped back. I jumped, yelping a little as I was suddenly hugged by someone else. Given the temperature, it was Ness.

"Thank you for trying to torture someone for me." She murmured.

"No problem." I replied, "She definitely had it coming."

I stayed on edge the entire rest of the night. I paced until I could calm down enough to stand still, but this Jack situation got me thinking, and thinking hard about a handful of humans.

It wasn't until days later that any one of my family let me out of their sight long enough for me to slip away. We were set to head back to Denali, but there was one thing I needed to do first. Now that I had proven I could resist killing someone.

I arrived in the middle of the night, ready to wait the next few hours just for one look. One little look.

"What are you doing here, Leandra?" I didn't turn the following morning at my follower, "You know you shouldn't be here." I had to see. Just one look for myself before I was exiled back to Denali.

They were inside, getting ready for school. The last day of school before the holiday break, apparently. I could hear Josh bossing Zack around, trying to get him to hurry up. Josh wanted to drive today, but Heather wouldn't have it with all the snow on the roads. He must have gotten his license while I'd been gone.

Jasper sighed, crouching beside me. He didn't press again, knowing I wouldn't risk answering him. I held my breath, just so I wouldn't smell any human scents. I had to see them.

"Leandra?" Carlisle had followed Jasper, and yet again, I didn't turn.

"I suppose this is something she has to do." Jasper replied for me, "To be honest, I expected this."

The door finally opened, and Josh and Zack came outside first. I smiled sadly. Boy, had Josh grown in the last few months. I could easily see it. He'd be just as tall as his dad. Zack beside him had a whole lot of catching up to do to his brother, but it wasn't far off. Lizzie was growing quickly, from what I could tell under her thick pink coat and hat. She sat in Zack's arms, squealing and giggling excitedly as the falling snow touched her cheeks and nose.

Hunter sat in Josh's arm, babbling about some TV show they'd pulled him from. The snow fell hard enough that I knew we were safely hidden from their view, but I could see them perfectly. Josh got Hunter settled in his seat inside the van, before he sighed and turn to Zack. Lifting Lizzie from him.

"Josh." Heather came from the house, digging through her purse, "Do you have the, uh-"

"Right here, mom." He tossed her the keys. They jingled the entire way through the air, and she caught them easily. She came forward and helped him wrestle a squirming Lizzie into her seat. Lizzie desperately wanted to play in the snow, but they were clearly in a hurry.

Zack kept to himself, standing off to the side. Keeping his eyes down onto the snowy front lawn, his hands in his coat pockets. He looked so alone, standing there by himself. Like he was nothing more than some lawn ornament that breathed. He looked tired, like he hadn't really slept since I last slept.

It hurt me so much to see him like that. I could feel his broken heart from here, and I wished so hard that I could ease it for him. Just one thing. How easy it would be to just tell him that what happened wasn't his fault. A letter? A note? Something. They deserved something. They were my best friends.

"Zack." Heather murmured, "Come on, baby." He moved, not replying, but getting moving nonetheless. He climbed into the back, sliding the door closed behind him. Muffling Lizzie's temper tantrum, and Hunter's incessant mumbling about the random cartoon.

Josh got the front passenger seat, and I watched, standing there long after they'd left. Sadly, I closed my eyes and finally turned away. I looked to Jasper and Carlisle both standing there, pursing my lips silently and nodding.

Already forming a plan.

We returned home, and I immediately went through my room. I found an old picture of the three of us, and turned. Grabbing a pen, and a slip of paper.

I started the letter with an excuse.

'I probably don't have much time, so I wanted to write this for you.'

That line told him I wrote this before I 'died'. This way, I was able to tell him everything I wanted to tell him, without him getting his hopes up that I was somehow still around.

Nobody finding it until recently would be a good way to explain the delay.

I told him that it wasn't his fault. It wasn't anything he did or didn't do. I didn't blame him, not in the least. I made my choice, and I didn't regret it. I plead, through words, that he was more careful in the future. To take what happened to me as an example of what could happen when he was too reckless or not careful enough. That I loved him like any sister would.

I folded the letter, slipping it and the picture into an envelope.

I wrote Josh a letter as well, asking him to take care of his brothers like I would have if I were still able to. Beat them up when they need it, but also hug them when they need it. I asked him to be there for them like I was, and not to blame Zack for what happened. I thanked him for being such a good 'boy'friend for me, and I told him that from the moment I met him, he always meant a lot to me.

I found a picture of both he and I together, and put that in his envelope.

These next ones were going to be hard.

I wrote Heather a quick letter, thanking her for all she'd done and tried to do for me. I thanked her for letting me 'borrow' her sons for so long, and for raising them right. I told her how much I admired her, and how much I looked up to her strength and her will to keep going, especially after all she'd gone through in her life. I asked her to give Hunter his letter when he was older and could appreciate it.

And I wrote Hunter a letter.

He was my brother. He and I shared the same mother, and I told him I knew she loved him. I told him that despite the way Jack wasn't good to me, that he loved him with all his heart. He was, and still is, very loved. I told him about how I'd decided to let him go to Heather, instead of staying with me, but if he ever needed anything, my family would do their best to help him out. That just because I was gone, he didn't lose his connection to them.

I told him, in this letter, what I did for him, and why I did what I did. I told him that I didn't regret, not in the slightest, helping him out that way, because he was family. I asked him that despite the way he wasn't exactly direct family, to treat his cousins like brothers. Help them out when they needed it, and keep them in line. Despite the age differences, they were family.

I went out on a limb and told him that there were many, many things out there that were so amazing, he could never imagine. That I'd always be there to watch over him, even if he couldn't see me.

I included a picture of him and I taken at my fourteenth birthday, and sealed it up. I elegantly drew their names on the front of the envelopes, knowing this would make a huge difference.

"Leandra?" I turned a little, looking to Mikah, "What are you working on so hard up here?"

"I can't tell you." I murmured, hiding the four envelopes.

"Why not?"

"Just trust me, okay?" I asked with a sigh, "Come with me so nobody else will bother to." I stepped from the room, and he rounded. Following me.

I descended the stairs, running into Alice at the bottom.

"I approve." She murmured softly to me, and I understood. I nodded a little, and continued on for the door. Jasper was about to follow me, but Alice stopped him, telling him this was something I needed to do on my own.

I returned to their house to find them still gone, so I rounded the back and found an unlocked kitchen window.

"What are you doing?" Mikah was worried, naturally.

I slipped inside, climbing in silently. I hesitantly took a breath, wincing a little at their residual scent. I crept silently through the house, finding a Christmas tree set up in the living room, in front of the window.

Pinned to the wall on either side of the fireplace, were stockings. Empty for now, but I knew they'd be filled in just a few days' time.

I gently eased the letters into the stockings, including Hunter's into Heather's.

"You know you shouldn't do that." Mikah murmured from behind me.

"Since when do I do what I should do?" I asked in reply, "This is only to solve my own guilt, Mikah. Imagine if Alyssa had reason to feel responsible for your death? Wouldn't you do everything you could to ease that?"

Alyssa, his oldest younger sister, had to take over for the family when Mikah disappeared. Keeping them together when he couldn't anymore. Despite the limited contact I'd had with her, I still considered her one of my best friends for what she taught me during my stay in New York.

"Different circumstances." He countered, "I wouldn't have been able to do this for her."

"But you'd have found a way." I replied, "And I think it's about time you start thinking about how to give her closure. Wondering for so long is going to leave its mark on her."

"I know." He sighed, hugging me.

We made it out, closing the window behind us. I requested to wait, so we camped there until Heather returned. I had to make sure she noticed them. It made me smile to hear as she questioned them at first, even calling Mike at work. She went ahead and opened hers when he had no idea about them.

She cried, of course. I listened to it sadly, but I knew she'd hand the boys theirs when the time came. That was all I needed to know. It was as good of an early Christmas present as I could give them. The best I could do, and the last gift I could give. I knew after enough time of believing I was gone, I'd lose this tie. I had to let it go, and this was the only way I knew of to make letting them go possible.

"Come on." Mikah smiled a little, "Let's go get yelled at for doing this."

"Not yet." I murmured, "There's still one more thing we have to do." He frowned in confusion.

I took his hand, and started my run. Not being able to breathe around the major cities was a breeze, knowing Mikah was with me. He could breathe for me. Changing directions when we needed to, he probably got the idea somewhere in Montana.

It took us about twenty-five minutes to make it to where we needed to be. Instead of insisting we turn around, he took the lead when I seemed lost. He understood, and despite the way that he knew he could, he didn't force me back the other way.

It was snowing here too, and the way it was almost noon back home, it was nearly evening here, and the kids were home. We could both clearly hear them from where we hid in the pine tree across the street.

Alyssa was mad at Emily for pulling some stupid stunt at school. Now fourteen herself, Alyssa was the one running the house apparently. Sammy and Jonathan were probably both at work, considering it had been four full years since Mikah had left. Sammy would be seventeen, and Jon would be in his twenties.

"If I do this," Mikah murmured to me, "How will I ever leave them again?"

"Don't." I replied, carefully rationing my breath, "Don't leave them. If they need you as much as I do, there's no reason you should have to, Mikah."

Mikah needed this. If how I felt for the boys was any indication, I wasn't sure how he dealt with just leaving his family behind. I understood his pain now, more than I had before. The empty, hollow feeling in my heart understood that this was something he needed.

We both tensed a little, looking toward the house as Alyssa came outside, tugging Emily along with her. Wow, had they both grown.

Emily had to be about nine now, and Alyssa had certainly grown into her age. Although, the dark make-up didn't help any when it came to understanding that she was only fourteen. Neither did the skin tight jeans, or the tight fitting jacket that did little to hide how much she'd grown.

Where was her younger brother? Who was watching her to make sure she didn't find trouble? What on Earth could possibly make her decide to wear clothes like that?

I grew just as concerned as Mikah seemed to at just the sight of her. It bothered me. It bothered me even more to see her pause on the sidewalk long enough to light up a cigarette. Emily was nine, and watching her every move.

Obviously having had enough, Mikah moved forward before I could stop him. I scurried, scooting along the pine trees on the street. If he didn't stop soon, I wouldn't be able to follow him anymore without potentially getting too close.

"Aly." He called, immediately catching her attention. She spun so fast, I swear she would have fallen over had it not been the most important moment in her life to keep Mikah in her sight.

Emily seemed slightly confused, but Alyssa knew exactly who she was looking at. She gasped, instantly in tears as she ran forward as fast as she could. Wrapping her arms around him, and sobbing uncontrollably into his coat.

It didn't matter to her that his eyes were no longer gray, or that he was paler, colder than he was before. It didn't matter to her right then that he hadn't changed at all since the last time she saw him. All that mattered to her was that her older brother was back. After four years, no contact whatsoever, he was back. Despite the changes.

He held her easily, hugging her as tight as he dared. I watched, hidden from view in the thick pine tree across the street. The reunion making me smile sadly. I could hear her pain in each trembling sob she gave, and as much as it hurt me, it was a beautiful sound. It told me I had made the right decision for both her and Mikah.

"Come here, squirt." Mikah called to Emily still on the sidewalk. She hesitantly did as he asked, moving forward and eventually hugging his other side. It had to be difficult for her. He'd gone missing when she was only five years old. Those memories faded fast. She remembered who he was to her, but she couldn't recall exactly what he looked like.

All his practice with me as a human made this easy for him.

"Your eyes.." Alyssa sobbed, looking up at him.

"Contacts." He replied easily, and that was all the explanation she needed. She didn't ask again. She stayed quiet for a moment, as she slowly got a hold of her emotions.

"W-Where have you been?" She asked instead, "What happened to you?" She had to be curious.

"I can't tell you that." He told her gently, "But I'm here now. If you can understand that I can't tell you everything, I can keep coming around."

"I'll do anything." She agreed wholeheartedly, "I won't ask anything if you'll stay."

He hugged her again, and she continued with her sobs.

"I'm sorry." Mikah murmured, "I'm so sorry I've been gone for so long."

"Dad left." She admitted, pulling back and looking up at him again.

"What?" Mikah asked, frowning, "Then who's taking care of you?"

"Jon." She replied, "He pays all the bills, and he's old enough to take care of all of us. We just have to hope the state doesn't decide to show up. I make sure everyone eats at least something. It hasn't been much lately, because most of Jon's money goes toward bills. Sammy's in jail for another six months. He steals cars, and sells them. He got pinched right up the street here back in April. Alex is well on his way to heading there himself. I haven't even heard from him in three days. Who knows what he's out there doing.

"Dad runs off sometimes. It's happened more than once. Usually he comes back after a few weeks smelling like a brewery and high as a kite." Mikah shook his head, "I have no idea where mom even is. Not that I'd ever ask that bitch for help. Last I heard, she was working the corner, only pulling in enough for pills and coke."

"And you?" Mikah asked, "What's with all this?" He gestured to her make-up that surprisingly didn't run through all the crying.

"I don't know." She sighed, "I do it for looks, mostly. Em's been having some trouble with older kids. They beat her up the other day, because she didn't have any money to give them. I knocked one out yesterday, but I don't trust her out on her own anymore. They see me with her, and they think twice." She paused, hesitating for a sobbing laugh, "I can't believe you're here."

He hugged her again, and watching that scene through the falling snow really made me think. It urged me in a direction I hadn't expected to go.

I didn't want to push myself too much.

"I'm going to check out the house." I murmured from my hiding place, "The one here. You know where to go. Take your time with them, Mikah. I think you've earned it." Subtly, I saw him give a nod, so I darted away. Being careful not to rustle any branches.

It took me all of seven seconds to reach the family's house here. Locked up tight, waiting for the moment when it'd be used again. It was comfortingly abandoned, not a human scent anywhere around it, but close enough to see the city.

I carefully climbed up the side of the house, reaching the second floor balcony. I'd always loved this house.

I sighed, breathing in the clean air coming from the west. I thought about what I'd done for Zack, and for Josh. I knew I'd probably get into trouble for that, but I couldn't help it. I knew it'd ease him, and it eased me. What was so bad about doing something that made both sides feel better? I gave none of them any hope that I was still around. I was careful about that.

Alice approved, but I knew the others won't.

While I stood up there, I had to admit. It felt good to be out on my own. No Jasper standing by to control how I feel, or Edward to spy on my thoughts. I knew Alice was watching out for me, but that was different. She was just being careful. I knew unless I faced a real problem, she'd give me this time to myself. She knew, no doubt, right where I was and what we were here for. I had no immediate plans to explore.

My emotions were my own, my thoughts private. As much as I appreciated Jasper's help during my difficult brand new newborn phase, I found I didn't exactly need him anymore.

I liked knowing that despite all the pain I felt, it was mine. It was mine to deal with. Not Jasper's. Not anyone else's. There was some comfort in that solidarity.

Not having been out on my own until recently, this gave me the chance to do inventory again. To consider my options.

Being only fourteen when I was turned, I had very limited experience when it came to seeing places, doing things. I'd just been surviving up until three months ago. I'd never actually lived. That fight would always be a part of me, but there was more now.

I wasn't bound by human strength, or speed. I wasn't bound by limitations. I could swim as long as I needed to, run as long as I needed to. I could go any distance, visit any place. I didn't need shelter, and my food source was anywhere there were animals. I didn't need rest, or any time to recover. I could just keep going. Anywhere I wanted, at any time.

I knew if I were to choose to live on my own, with Mikah of course, they wouldn't stop me. I was free to come and go as I pleased, as Esme explained it. I was free to choose, and I knew they wouldn't force me to stay. They'd understand, and respect my choice.

I knew even though he'd just gotten his human family back today, Mikah would still insist we return. Now that he knew he could come back at any time, he'd insist that we not leave the family permanently. That was just how he was, but what if I wanted to do something for him? He'd done enough for me. He deserved his family.

Before I knew it, night had fallen. With nightfall, came heavier snow, but I didn't mind it. It was calming to watch, and listen as they fell. I crouched there on my own. Waiting patiently for Mikah to return to me.

"What are you thinking about so hard?" Mikah eventually did find me, sometime near midnight.

"Nothing." I sighed, turning to look at him, "How'd your visit go?"

"As well as it could, considering the situation." He replied, "One thing's for sure. Aly knows how to follow directions. She didn't ask another question about how I look."

"That's good, right?"

"It's good." He agreed, "I just hate the fact that I can't be completely honest with her."

"I think she's just happy you're here." I smiled a little, "You probably did her a huge favor today. Just by showing up."

"You can't even imagine." He murmured, kissing my forehead, "Thank you for making me do this. It's far from okay, but it's better than it was." I smiled a little.

"You'll make it okay." I murmured, looking up at him, "It's what you do." He smiled in return. wrapping his arms around me.

"We should get back." He sighed after a moment.

"Don't you want to stick around?" I asked, "Just for a little while?"

"Aren't you eager to get back?"

"It's a thirty minute run." I replied, "They can survive without us for one night, can't they?"

"Leandra." He shook his head a little, "I'm sure they miss you. You don't have to stay here just so I can be around my sisters. I'll come back another time."

"What if we stayed?" I asked, and he frowned a little.

"Stayed?" He asked, "For good?"

"Think about it." I murmured, "You gave up everything for me."

"I wasn't giving up anything." He reasoned, "I knew one day I'd find them again. It was the best way for both sides, princess. I get you in my life, and now I get them too. Nobody has to give up anything for this to work."

"I don't know." I sighed, "I've always loved it here. It wouldn't be so bad to stick around for awhile."

"What about your family?" He asked.

"They'll be okay without us." I replied.

"And what happens when they think I stole you?" He chuckled, "We have to go back. We're not nomads, cub. We belong with our coven."

"Wouldn't it be nice, though?" I asked, "Nobody to boss us around, or pounce on me if I breathe wrong. Nobody telling me what not to think, or how I shouldn't feel?"

"They do that because they love you." He replied gently.

"I know," I murmured, "It's just.. For the first time since I've been turned, I don't have the leash on anymore." His expression softened, "I'm out on my own, and I can handle it. For the first time, I'm not attached to them at the hip. I'm not completely dependent on someone else."

"I think I know what you're getting at." He sighed, hugging me.

He sat with me after that, staying with me to watch the snow clouds above us lighten with dawn. We talked about everything. How I missed how it used to be, my sadness at letting that go. How different everything felt to me.

In the end, he talked me into going back. I'd known I would be going back all along, but it felt good to talk about it. He was right, and I knew he was right. My place was with my coven, my family.

They were everything good about me. They were the very reason I was alive. They taught me courage, and love. Support, having somebody there when I desperately needed somebody to be there. As much as the whole family feeling had changed, I knew all I had to do was learn how to change the way I see them. I'd get it back, just in a different way.

I hadn't fought this hard to keep them, to protect them, only to let them go now. Not now, not ever. I craved freedom, and as much as I knew they'd let me go, I wasn't willing to trade what they meant to me for it. Without them, I was just me. Mikah and I were just us. With them, we were so much more, and had the potential to be even more than that.

Mikah assured me he'd return to them as often as he needed to. Just because we lived across the country didn't mean he couldn't come back now that he had returned to their lives.

Jack was still out there, but what he did now was up to him. I would tell Alice not to watch his decisions anymore. To let him be.

I felt that he'd honor his word there in the basement. He wouldn't bother us again, at least not for awhile, and I wasn't about to waste any more of my unlimited time worrying about what he might plan to do someday. His life was his own, and my life was my own.

We'd agree to disagree, and go our separate ways. I'd earned that with him the day I traded my life for his son's. A price I could only pay once, and survive to tell about it.

Just like in the very beginning, everything in this life was all about change, and what I chose to do with it. Changing a view, changing a person. An emotion or thought. Change was everywhere, and there was no avoiding it.

I could run from it, or I could embrace it. I could fight it, but why? Worrying about change didn't make a difference. Whatever happened, would happen regardless if I worried about it or not.

It really was that simple.

**END**

**A/N: I can't believe it's over. :(**  
**THANK YOU guys for your reviews through this story and for your patience. It's been hard typing this one out. I've grown attached, and couldn't imagine ending it, but I also knew you guys had been waiting for this chapter for quite some time. That being said, I think this is as perfected as it's going to get. If I don't let it go now, I'll spend a year going over it.  
**

**In other news: The next story.  
****As I mentioned on my author's Facebook page (name: Kneu Neu), for those of you who missed it, I will be writing in another's POV (Point of View; For those that didn't know what that meant before) for the duration of the entire next story. Just to give myself a shot in another person's POV. I've never done this sort of thing before without a guideline (example: I've written an entire version of one of my stories in one of the Cullen's POVs), but not this entirely new.. Something. Whatever I'm doing.**

**This new POV will be someone brand new. Be nice, because she's mean. I won't give too many details, because that's what the first chapter is for, but at least you know she's female. I suppose you'll survive until I can manage to get done nit-picking, and get it out.**  
**Despite the new POV, it'll be directly correlated to this story/storyline here. Too much change depresses me, so that's the one detail I'm keeping the same. It won't be **_**that**_** brand new.**  
**YES, I will be keeping Leandra. I worked hard on developing her character, so I'm NOT just abandoning her. She just has to learn to share the POV. That's all.**

**Let's see.. What else..?**  
**Oh. Speaking of changing POVs, one of these days, I will get back to that one-shot in Gina (her mother's) POV. I plan on working on that along with this next story, so be aware of a few delays. That will be it's own story. A single (but long) chapter.**  
**Another plan I've got, depending on who wants to see it, is changing the original storyline a little bit. Posting another, except instead of staying fearful until she's nine, Leandra escapes much younger, and avoids a lot of the worse issues. I've got a good bit of that down so far, as it's been an idea of mine for a long while now. We'll have to see on that.**  
**Lots going on with her, I suppose, so I'm definitely not abandoning Leandra.**  
**I think I've made this A/N long enough. I hope you enjoyed this one, and look forward to seeing you all for my future story/stories. :)**  
**Until next story, my friends! :D**


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